Author's note: As usual, most characters belong to Nickelodeon and Klasky-Csupo, but otherwise this story is mostly original. Also, watch out for lines taken from movies, other fanfics, magazine articles, etc. Otherwise, hope you like it!
Rugrats Midlife: New Arrival
Chapter Two: "Rush Her In"
===Kimi===
After about seventeen minutes (normally ten if it wasn't for the traffic jam that clogged downtown) of driving we finally reached the beige-colored hospital building. Once he pulled into the driveway he got me out of the car and actually attempted to carry me, and as I had my own problems (spasms in my uterine canal, mainly) I was too jittery to decline.
"Oh damn Lil wasn't this heavy when the twins were born," Fred said as he brought me into the ER, aided by a security guard and a medical resident.
"So she's not your wife?" the resident replied.
"No she ain't. If that were she would have punched me for that witless remark awhile ago. Just rush her in, will ya?" They got a stretcher in a lot of time, and in short order we got to the delivery room twenty seconds flat.
"Why hello there Kimi," Susie said as she and two other doctors, in gowns, caps, gloves and masks, got inside. "Enjoying the pleasure of being a mother?"
"Like hell I am-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHH!-like hell I am, Dr. Jones," I snapped, but then I had to wonder. "Why in heaven's name are you in obstetrics and gynecology now?"
Susie went into smart-aleck mode. "Lack of staff on OB-Gyne. While I've been a mother, you're my first delivery."
I tried to stay calm. "Is that a good thing or-AAGH!-a bad thing?"
"Hope it's good!"
"Thanks a lot, Suze!" Angelica syndrome's kicking in, I told myself. Or maybe it's the pain on my nether regions talking.
"Anesthetic?" she offered.
"I'll just bear with it. MAN THAT &%$#ING HURTS!!!"
===Chuckie===
"Kimi Pickles? Delivery room with Doctors Beauregarde, Allawi and Jones, second floor." The receptionist's voice was sterile, even mocking, but then, my sister's not the only one in this.
"Thanks," my mother said after a quick bow and it was off to the staircase. I've never seen her run that fast, especially at her age. I could imagine: "After hearing about her daughter's predicament, 66-year old Kira Finster became the first senior to run to the operating room of Bensley-Friars Medical Center at supersonic speed." Okay, so enough of the biting sarcasm-I'm running too!
A damn traffic jam turned what should have been a 15-minute drive into something around nineteen. Fortunately we had enough to do to keep ourselves busy. Mom called Tommy, Dil, Stu and Calvin Gottwald (in a Tahitian honeymoon with Ange) while I called Lil, Madie, Phil and Suze (who was working in there at the time). All the folks who we called except Cal promised to come to the hospital.
We reached the waiting area in record time. What we found was a worried Fred Cruz pacing back and forth as though it was Lil in the delivery room.
"How is she?" Mama and I asked him.
"Fine, which is more than I can say for myself," he replied. "Say, where's Jefe?"
"Tommy's on his way here," I replied. Meanwhile, we have to just sit and wait here."
===Tommy===
Dammit, I cursed at myself. This is taking long. I have no time to spare, and here they are clogging a downtown street? Do these bastards know that I've a wife who's giving birth now? Don't they know I have to be there? But then again, they may have bigger problems.
Finally, I got out into the side streets leading to the hospital. But as there was also a whole load of cars in front, I decided to park my Cresta at a nearby shopfront and run to the underpass. That was surprisingly faster than driving there. I was then wondering what the hell Kimi was thinking as she was getting our child out.
===Kimi===
"TOMMY!!!!!!!! I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
Fine, so that's the pain talking, not me. It looks like I'm paying for not being anesthesized awhile ago.
"Just keep pushing Kim," Susie coaxed. "Look at me, I didn't have this much of a problem with Jamal, okay? Keep pushing!"
"Thanks Suze," I replied between moans and screams. "What did I ever do to you?"
"Getting me to borrow money from my sister to pay a scammer, maybe?" she cracked, giggling. "But then again was my fault..."
"Shut up, Susan," I snapped back, and we both laughed amidst the pain I was going through. And then the dilation continued.
Where the heck is my husband, I asked myself, and then I got an answer. He's coming, Kimi, he's coming.
===Tommy===
"Is there anyone named Kimi Pickles in here?" I asked the receptionist.
"You the husband?" she asked.
"Yes I am, and I have to be there immediately!"
"Second floor operating room, with Doctors..." That was all I wanted to hear. I took off into the flight of stairs to the second floor. "Sir, your hat!"
"I'll pick that up later!" I shouted in response, and resumed my climbing.
It didn't take very long. My in-laws and Fred were there in the waiting area, still dumbstruck.
"Chuckie? Kira? Gunny? How's she?" I asked. As soon as they faced me I saw a man in surgery wear get out of the delivery theater.
"Who among you three males is Tommy Pickles?" he asked us.
"It's me sir," I answered.
"Lakhdar Hafez Allawi, M.D. Get yourself scrubbed, sir, Mrs. Pickles wants you in." Good thing. I took of my overcoat, loosened my tie and rushed into the changing room, no questions asked. After some delousing gas I wore the surgery gown, cap, gloves and mask and rushed into the delivery room's door.
Can't leave this hanging, no? Stay tuned for Chapter Three: A Good Start, coming out soon!
P.S: Any inaccurate statements or connections in this fanfic such as medical procedures are regretted.
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