Author's note: As usual, major characters excluding my own are the property of Nickelodeon. Also, this chapter is meant as a meditative one, and if you wonder what your parents may have been thinking when you were born, this shows some ideas. Part One focuses on Tommy.

Rugrats Midlife: New Arrival

Chapter Four: Full Circle

Part One: "Was It Like This?"

===Tommy===

The first minutes of my fatherhood were spent watching the little lady in the hospital nursery (luckily it was just near the window). Fred, Lil, Madie, Phil and Susie, have since gone to the cafeteria, leaving me, Dad, Kira, Dil and Chuckie to look at her. She was a darling, at average weight and height, having the best of her father's and mother's looks. The first thing that came out of Kimi's face in the delivery room was a smile, as I recall.

"Isn't she adorable?" my ever-so-proud mother-in-law muttered out from nothing.

"Yes, indeed," Dad, also proud the Pickles has a new family member, lovingly assented.

"Uhmm, fellas," Charles addressed us, "I think Madz needs me downstairs at the cafeteria, so I'd better leave, if that's fine?"

"That's okay, considering I'm leaving too," Kira responded. "I'll check on Kimi-chan at, erm, what room again?"

"705," I replied. "Anyone else leaving?"

"I'm going with Chucko," Dil answered. "There's no TV set where we are right now, and besides, this is your kid. I've enjoyed enough." Both new uncles strutted off with Kira to Elevator 2. That leaves Dad.

"Not going?" I asked my father.

"Not if you don't want me to," he replied. I was still facing the nursery window, my body was silent, but parental instincts tell him I want him with me.

"Anything on your mind, son?" Everything related to my new status was. I just can't tell him which.

You're a father now, I told myself. You now have more than the former Kimi Finster, your country, your God and your job, arranged at random, to live for, and then some. How the hell can you do it? How do you take care of that as yet nameless little soul in the nursery? Can you even see her through her early years? But before that, the more shallow thoughts.

"Was it like this, Dad?" No two births are the same, so why bother with that question?

"Did you say to yourself you love that baby?" he asked in turn.

"Yeah."

"Did you promise to yourself you would love the woman who gave that baby to you?"

"No doubt about it."

"Would you rather go to the grave first before she did?" I thought about that, and the answer was obvious.

"Hell yeah." Tears were starting to form.

"Thought so, champ. That's what I asked myself as well. And then your Grandpa Lou also asked your uncle and me all of that. Welcome to fatherhood, Thomas." He tapped my shoulder gently and embraced me. "Yep, almost the same with Deed and me. Save of course, for some variations." I finally had the will to face him.

"I love you Dad. Thanks for everything." The small drops of tears had gushed into a trickle as I embraced him. Tightly.

"I love you too, my son. Always have, always will." Now we were both crying.

That girl was my daughter, mine and Kimi's. Nothing but time could wrest her away from us. And even so there will be memories. I was crying not because I couldn't do it. I was crying because I had now convinced myself I can. Just one more thing to ask before I have a last look and then leave.

"You ever think I'll be a good father to her?" came out from my mouth the first thing after crying, a handkerchief in my hand wiping my tear-damp face.

"Hell yeah, champ. Hell yeah. Didi would say the same thing too." I knew, in my heart, Mom was.

You can do it, Thomas, I felt her say. You will be a good father.

And there you are. Chapter Four part two: Kimi and Kira go for a motherly bonding. Coming soon.