Author's note: As usual, major characters excluding my own are the property of Nickelodeon. Part Two now focuses on Kimi. Also, conversation is mostly in English, with some Japanese thrown in for local color. Sorry for grammatical errors-I got phrases from the net and a phrasebook. Otherwise, get them tissues handy.

Rugrats Midlife: New Arrival

Chapter Four: Full Circle

Part Two: "Was I Worth It?"

===Kimi===

"You awake now musume (my daughter)?" was the first thing I heard from Mama, sitting beside me, looking at me with compassion and love only a mother could give. Hers was a look that had come full circle, one she used as a young mother who had just given birth to a baby girl in some hospital in Osaka. That baby girl had grown up to be a mother. That mother was me.

At that moment every regret, every memory from far back in time returned to me, and manifested itself in a sudden hug and weeping on my part, all on Mom's shoulder. I felt miserable, not because of the baby, but because of me. I felt unworthy of being a daughter to one who had worked hard all her life to see me grow up going astray, or so I felt. Every headache I gave to her. And now I was, no, I am, a mother.

"Oh, okasama, sumimasen! (I'm sorry, mother)" was all I could say in my sobbing as I embraced her, repentant for whatever bad things I felt I had done to her, sorry she and the baby got a pathetic excuse of a daughter and mother respectively. I was bawling my eyes and heart out.

"Na, na, Kimi-chan, calm down," she said in the calmest way possible, trying to console me. "You have nothing to apologize for, please, just look at me." She put her hands on my shoulders and looked at me intently. "After that divorce you were the one reason I managed to exist and survive. You were the reason I put up with that purgatory of a life in Paris. You were the reason I was able to recover from that shock of your father leaving us. And I am now certain you and Chuckie were the reason I found love again, you know what I'm saying?" I could tell she was close to tears as well, but she managed to control herself.

"So was I worth it, Mommy-sama?" I asked, still tear-stricken.

"Yes, Kimi-chan, you are. Despite your flaws, you are still my musume. Nothing in this damned world will change that, ne? You are still worth it, and I'm certain your daughter will be worth it for both of you as well."

"Arigato, Mommy-sama, thanks. I owe you plenty." One thing I learned: my penchant for positivism I got from Mom.

She now looked at me in a more stern manner, but still managing a gentle, motherly touch. "Just promise me, Kimi. You may love her the same way I love you, or more. But please, never less. Promise?"

"On my life, Mom. On my life." We hugged again, this time with more certainty on both sides.

"Hmmm, yoshi (that's settled). And Kimi?"

"Nan dai(What is it)?"

"Madie-chan is awake from two o'clock in the early morning-go ask her for baby tips, not me!" Tears were now replaced by laughter. It's so rare for Mom to crack up this quickly. Ah, a moment to cherish.

"Well, " my mother said after a while, "I'd better go. In all likelihood Tommy-kun will drop by here to talk with you. Take care you hear me?" I nodded. "Ja mata ne, Kimi-chan. Aishiteru. (See you later, Kimi. I love you.)"

"Same here, okasama. I love you too."

Now that the anxieties have been dispersed, what to name the baby (or how did Clementine Pickles get her name)? Check out Chapter Five: And The Name Is..., coming soon!