Disclaimer: Characters from Neon Genesis Evangelion have been used without permission. All characters contained in this work are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA, Movic, AD Vision and Manga Entertainment.
Nergal Fan Fiction LLC A division of Nergal Heavy Industries proudly presents:
The Best Laid Plans 2.0
by Ryoma
Chapter Two "Tenderness"
"There's Kensuke," Hikari said as she pointed to a figure in the crowd filing out of the baseball stadium.
"Where have you been?" Shinji questioned as his friend approached. "I thought you were going to watch the game with us?"
"I was," Kensuke replied, "but then I saw you two sitting next to that new guy, Kaworu. Do you know what would happen if a stud like me were to be seen near a guy like that?"
"It would confirm the rumors?" Touji quipped as he walked up and threw his duffle bag down with a resounding thud.
"Very funny," Kensuke said sarcastically. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought the goal of this game was to NOT let the other team hit the ball."
"I'll show you some hitting!"the sweaty, uniformed teen growled as he brandished his fist menacingly.
"Don't listen to him," Shinji said stepping between them. "I think you pitched a great game. How many guys did you strike out?"
"Fourteen," Touji grinned as he pumped his chest out into his most muscular pose.
"And yet you still lost," Kensuke said flatly. "Luckily, the past seventeen years have provided ample opportunity for you to become accustomed to that."
"We could have won," Touji said loudly as he punched his glove, "if I would have pitched better. I made too many mistakes."
"You're being too hard on yourself," the Third Child said, "that other team is really good. I heard they're going to the Koshien next week and you held them to only two runs."
"Both of which were unearned," Hikari cut in. "And the other team's pitcher is practically an All Star, but you still went two for three against him."
"I guess," Touji whined as he took his mitt off and tucked it under his arm. "I still wish I had beaten those guys."
"It's okay," the class rep said softly as she put her arm around her boyfriend. "You're still an All Star in my book."
"Thanks," he smiled, drawing a tighter hug from the dark haired girl. "I saw you rooting for me in the stands. Heard you too."
"Sorry about that," Hikari blushed, "but that ump was squeezing the strike zone."
"I noticed."
"Of course you still need to work on your delivery," she said thoughtfully. "Your curveball is breaking too late, and without that your fastball doesn't fool anybody. You need to work on developing a slider or a cutter," the girl added as she pulled out a notebook. "Here, I charted all your pitches. If you look at your tendencies with..."
"Thanks for coming to the game," Touji sighed as he turned toward Shinji, his girlfriend continuing her analysis in the background. "Tell me something, why are you hanging around with that freak, Kaworu?"
"He's not such a bad guy, once you get to know him." Shinji paused for a moment as another more devious thought entered his mind. "And besides, Hikari sure seemed to like him. The two of them were chatting it up the whole-"
"They WHAT?"
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Shinji said holding his hands out in front of himself defensively.
"You better be," the jock complained as he punched Shinji in the shoulder. "So where is the little boy toy anyway? You'd figure the chance to see sweaty young men up close would appeal to him."
"He had some things to clear up with his apartment, so he left before the end," Shinji said. "And for the record, he's not gay."
"Whatever-"
"Mister Suzahara!" a man's voiced called out from the distance. Turning in the direction of the voice, the group noticed a well-dressed, older man wearing dark sunglasses walking quickly in his direction. "Mister Suzahara, may I please have a word with you?"
"I gotta go," Touji said quickly as he hurriedly reached down and grabbed his belongings. "Meet me on the corner next to the arcade in fifteen minutes," he said to Shinji and Kensuke.
"Touji," Hikari said, reaching out and grabbing her boyfriend's arm. "What's going on?"
"Nothing you need to be concerned about," he said, glancing over her shoulder and watching the older man's approach. "But I really have to go now."
He struggled to pull free but she held tight. "Listen, my father and sisters are off visiting my grandmother, so the house will be empty until seven o'clock if you want to come over-"
"Maybe another time," he said, turning away to face his friends before he could see the dejected look in her eyes. "I'll see you guys in a couple of minutes."
Without saying another word the jock threw his duffle bag over his shoulder and ran off in the opposite direction as the man took off in pursuit. "Mister Suzahara! Mister Suzahara, I need to speak to you! Wait!"
"Who's that guy?" Kensuke questioned.
"I don't know," Shinji said as he watched the pair disappear around the corner of the school. "But I'm pretty sure I saw him sitting in the bleachers watching Touji the whole game though."
---------
Gorgeous...absolutely gorgeous.
Those were the only words that Misato could think of as she gazed at herself in the full-length mirror. Sure, her hair wasn't done and her makeup could have used some refreshing, but it didn't matter right now. Slowly she turned back and forth, the white, silky fabric billowing up slightly with each gyration. She could feel her heartbeat quicken as the realization slowly sunk in.
'Mister and Misses Rouji Kaji,' she thought to herself, feeling uneasy at the mere mention of the names. She contemplated the enormity of the whole event, the insecurity of leaving her previous identity behind and starting anew. It was not something to be taken lightly. Slowly a smile grew on her face as another thought entered. 'Mister and Misses Misato Katsuragi, now THAT has a much better sound to it.'
"Are you trying to set a record or something?" Naru said as she entered the room, gazing down at a slip of paper. "According to my records, you reserved this dress almost fourteen months ago."
"We've had a couple of...setbacks," Misato said softly as she remembered the two previous aborted wedding attempts. Each time was over something trivial, something as insignificant as a misspoken word or action, more a testimony to nerves than anything else she supposed. "But this time it's going to happen."
"I certainly hope so," the other woman nodded.
"Why?" the Operation's Director questioned. "I mean I may be a LITTLE difficult at times, but..."
"Oh it's not you," Naru interrupted. "I've had customers much worse then you."
"Should I take that as a compliment?" the Major smiled.
"I see by your dress choice you are going with a Western style wedding," the seamstress said as she placed the dress receipt on a chair next to her.
"It's something I have always wanted to do. Some of my friends have had them and they seem like such fun."
"They are, but I've noticed a sharp increase in traditional weddings as well," Naru said as she walked up next to Misato. "It seems like a lot of couples who were children during Second Impact are trying to return to a simpler time when life wasn't so complicated."
"I have serious issues with traditional marriages," Misato frowned. "I don't like the idea of being treated like some submissive, obedient door prize to my future husband. That's not who I am."
"Get off the women's lib rant," Asuka muttered. "You're only doing it because you'll get more presents and booze than a traditional Japanese wedding."
"That's not true!" Misato exclaimed.
"Please don't start fighting," Naru said as she stepped behind the Major. "Let's see if everything still fits." She pulled the long train out behind the purple haired woman, going down to one knee as she carefully laid it down on the floor, spreading out the waves with a brush of her hand.
"I told you I wouldn't need any alterations," Misato said confidently as she continued to stare at herself in the mirror. "I'm the same exact size I was when Miss Konno first measured this. Now, some brides get all nervous and tend to eat more as their wedding date approaches...and I might be guilty of that a little...but I have a high metabolism and I don't gain weight...which is not to say that-"
"I haven't zipped up the back yet," Naru said flatly as she looked up and interrupted the other woman's anxious ramblings.
"Oh," the Major chuckled uncomfortably, "then I guess I shouldn't complain how loose it feels."
"You look very attractive, Major Katsuragi," Rei said as she peered over the woman's shoulder into the mirror.
"Why thank you Rei," Misato smiled before her eyes shifted to the Child standing behind her other shoulder. "And what about you Asuka? Don't you think I look beautiful?"
"I'm reserving judgment," the redhead smirked as she crossed her arms on her chest, "until I see if she can zip that thing up."
"What do you mean?"
"Do you remember the phrase 'ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag'?"
"Oh shut up!" Misato snapped. "You're jealous, that's all." She continued to turn about and gaze at herself in the mirror. "I have the same body I had back when I first met Kaji."
"You were this fat in college?"
"I'll give you fat!" the Operations Director screamed as she turned and approached her charge. "A fat lip!"
"Miss Katsuragi, PLEASE!" Naru shouted as she desperately tried to hold onto the pinch of clothing she wanted to alter. "I would appreciate it if you would STAND STILL."
"Take it easy Porky," the Second Child smiled as she held her hands out in front of her. "Don't get all upset or the farmer won't fill your trough tonight."
Misato held her ground as Naru desperately worked at fixing the now ruffled train. Asuka leaned down to watch as the older woman pinned a corner. "The last time she acted like this," the Unit 02 pilot whispered, "was when they threw her out of the all-you-can-eat ramen stand."
"That's it!" Misato growled as she took two steps toward the teen. "You've pushed my buttons for the last time. From now on...OUCH!"
The Major rubbed her derrière as she gazed down to see Naru looking up at her, four or five pins clenched in her teeth. "Sorry about that," she mumbled, "must have stuck you by accident."
"I'm surprised she didn't pop," Asuka muttered softly.
"You be quiet, young lady!" Naru snapped at the redhead. "You're next."
The irritated look on the dressmaker's face, not to mention the fact she had multiple sharp objects within arms reach convinced the Eva pilot that now was not the time to get into it with her guardian. Silence prevailed from that moment on, broken only by the commands of Naru to turn one way or another.
"Major Katsuragi," Rei said softly, "may I ask you a question?"
"Sure," the woman replied, "and how many times do I have to tell you to call me Misato."
"Miss Misato," the blue haired teen said softly, "as this is my first Western marriage ceremony, I have been doing some research into certain aspects of the ritual."
"That's wonderful Rei," Misato said flatly as she concentrated on tightness in her chest as Naru started to zip her up.
"In reviewing the customs and symbolism used in the ceremony," the First Child said as she watched the woman tug and pull on the fastener. "Something is puzzling me."
Misato could feel herself being lifted off the floor as Naru worked the zipper. The tightness in her chest was making it difficult to breathe. In the mirror she could see the seamstress and Asuka shaking their heads back and forth as the dress threatened to explode at any moment. "What's the damn question?" she said crossly.
"Well...I was confused as to why you are wearing a white dress?"
---------
"Touji," Shinji called out as he caught sight of his friend's approach from an adjoining avenue. The street corner was fairly vacant, only one or two pedestrians walked by in the entire time the Two Stooges waited for their associate. "Are you alright? Who was that guy?"
"I...I...don't know," the jock panted as he bent over and tried to catch his breath. "B...but he chased me a good four blocks before I lost him."
"Wait a minute," Kensuke cut in. "If you have no idea who this guy is, why did you run away like that?"
"For all you know that guy might have been coming to see you about something insignificant," Shinji said thoughtfully, "or maybe even bringing you good news."
"How many people chase someone halfway across town over good news?" Touji questioned. Having finally caught his breath the dark haired teen stood up straight and pulled off his cap, rubbing his sweaty forehead on his sleeve before pulling his hat back on. "Besides...I have a pretty good idea what he wanted to see me about."
"What?" Kensuke inquired.
"Well...um...you see," Touji stammered, scratching at the back of his neck nervously as he searched for the words. "I sorta...well...cheated on my university entrance exams."
"How could you?" Shinji cried.
"It was actually quite easy," Touji grinned. "You see all I did was..."
"Not how DID you do it," the Third Child yelled shaking his head back and forth. "WHY did you do it? I thought you were studying every night?"
"I tried studying...for a while," the uniformed teen said as he glanced at the bus stop sign flashing the time until the next arrival. "But that stuff's boring. I figured I already learned it once so why bother again."
"Technically if you learned it once," Kensuke said, "then that knowledge should be with you forever. Studying would just be like a refresher."
"I'm not following you," Touji said bewilderedly. "You study, you take the test and that's it."
"If you learned something...truly LEARNED something the first time," the spectacled teen started before noticing Shinji shaking his head back and forth in disagreement. "Never mind."
"Hikari didn't ask where we were going, did she?"
"No," Shinji replied. "But she was really upset when you left. Maybe you should go see her."
"I can't," the jock said as out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of the approaching bus. "This is ours."
"If you won't go see her," Shinji turned toward Touji, "can you at least tell me where we're going?"
"Not until we get there," he said as the large vehicle groaned to a stop in front of them. "It's a surprise."
---------
"Not one word, understand...NOT ONE WORD!"
The growling image of the irritated Second Child stared intently into the full-length mirror, trying her best to ignore smirks and giggles of the women standing behind her. The lavender dress clung tightly to her frame, the neckline plunging much lower than originally intended. Its zipper was stopped at the small of her back, only able to complete half of its intended journey despite the best efforts of Asuka and the others to pull it upward any further.
"Your plugsuit isn't even that tight," Misato grinned as she chose to ignore her charge's ultimatum. "Stand back Rei, if one of those buttons in the front pops off, you could lose an eye."
"You'll have to excuse me if I don't laugh at your pathetic attempts at humor," Asuka said haughtily.
"I hope you don't," the Major grinned, "or that thing is liable to explode."
"Shut up!" the redhead said loudly, turning her gaze to the reflected likeness of the seamstress in the mirror. "Can you sew her mouth up or something?"
"Now, now," Naru admonished, "she put up with your childish comments. I think a little turnabout is fair play."
"Are you SURE this is the right dress?" Asuka questioned. "I mean it's doubtful anyone but her could pick such a god-awful color but still."
"I'll have you know," Misato said angrily, "that dress is a one-of-a-kind."
"Probably because the designer who made it was fired...or committed suicide for unleashing it on the world."
Naru checked the tag hanging from the dress with the receipt in her hand. "This is definitely your dress."
"Then the problem is obvious," the Unit 02 pilot said smartly. "Everybody knows that a teenager is going to grow if you go fourteen months between fittings!"
"Grow out maybe," Misato snorted.
"You're one to talk," Asuka leered. "Watermelon smuggler."
"We accounted for," Naru interrupted, "any potential...er...growth spurts. In fact if you were to compare the numbers from your initial visit to now, you would see that neither your breast size or your height has increased substantially."
"But your waist apparently has," Misato chuckled. "Although it's probably just trying to keep up with your ass."
"Somebody screwed up the measurements or something!" Asuka yelled.
"Mitsune does NOT make mistakes," Naru grumbled through her grinding teeth. Good-natured ribbing aside, the two were starting to get on her nerves.
"Then how do you account for both of our dresses not fitting?" Asuka questioned.
'The customer is always right, the customer is always right,' the seamstress repeated to herself over and over, fighting the urge to poke the annoying young woman with the pin she held close to the redhead's butt.
"Come to think of it," the Second Child said thoughtfully, "that Mitsune woman smelled like booze the day we were measured. Is she a drunk? I should know, I live with one," she said, sticking a thumb out at her guardian.
"Asuka please," Misato shrieked, a slight blush forming on her face. "But she makes a point," the woman continued, sounding somewhat serious. "I've been known to make mistakes when...well...you know."
"That's ENOUGH!" Naru shouted, an instant hush falling across the store. "Mitsune is not a drunk, and she certainly didn't screw up your measurements!" The middle aged woman puffed out a few deep breaths. "I run a professional shop and I resent those comments."
"Sorry," Misato and Asuka said sheepishly.
"Like it or not," the seamstress said as she resumed spreading out Asuka's dress. "The fact is that the two of you have put on some weight and now the question is what are we going to do about it?"
"What are our options?" Misato asked.
"Well," Naru said thoughtfully, "I could let the dresses out-"
"No, we can't do that," Asuka cried. "It would be the same as giving up."
"Or you can both go on a strict, and I do mean STRICT diet and exercise regiment to get back to your original measurements. It's not THAT much weight to lose."
"Is there a third option?" Misato said, the word liposuction bouncing around in her head.
"With less than a week...no."
The Major looked over at Asuka. "Well what do you think? Can you handle a crash diet? I know I can...if you can that is." The German girl's confident smirk provided the answer. "A diet it is then," the Major smiled, though on the inside she would have preferred to let the dress out. She had done programs like this before and they were not fun. The thought of BOTH of them on a diet could only mean pure hell. "This will be fun," she lied through her gritting teeth.
"Great, you can give each other support," Naru said, her voice full of sarcasm. She tried to imagine what life would be like at the Katsuragi household for the next few days...and the thought made her smile. "Now I still have a few alterations to make, so please stand still," she said to Asuka.
Rei took advantage of the calm in the action and walked up next to Misato. "Major Katsuragi, I would like to ask you a question."
"Well..." the woman started, still reeling from the earlier query and the ensuing embarrassment. "I guess so. What is it?"
"I was inquiring as to if there might be seating available for one additional person at the ceremony?"
Immediately the image of the First Child walking into the reception arm in arm with Commander Ikari entered the Operations Director's mind. "Er...ah...I don't know, you see I have already arranged all the seating and the room is kinda full."
"I understand," Rei replied softly, lowering her head a bit.
"You know how these things are," Misato added, more for herself then anyone else. "After all the planning and arrangements are made, I'm not allowed to change them."
Rei simply nodded silently and resumed gazing at the floor. Misato watched for a few moments as Naru worked on the back of Asuka's dress, pinching and pinning off a couple of sections. "So..." she began, fighting the dread she was suddenly feeling for opening her mouth, "who were you thinking of inviting?"
Rei looked up and turned to the purple haired woman. "He is a student."
"Really?" the Major exclaimed, thankful that her worst nightmare was not coming true. "How cute. You and Shinji's friend Kensuke are finally dating now."
"What?" the blue haired girl gasped. "No!" she quickly added.
"Strange," Misato pondered, "he keeps telling me you like him."
"It is NOT Mister Aida," Rei said flatly. "Kaworu is a new student who-"
"Kaworu huh?" Misato grinned. "Awfully informal for someone you just met."
"I suppose that-"
"So tell me Rei, is this Kaworu guy hot?"
"He is attractive."
"Attractive?" Misato teased. "Come on, even you can do better than that. Give me some details here. What color is his hair? His eyes? Does he set your heart all a flutter every time you see him?"
"My pulse is not-"
"Tight cheeks?" Misato winked. "How well does he fill out his pants?
"Pants?"
"Misato," Asuka interrupted, "cut the crap already. You stopped being funny in your twenties."
"Oh shut up," the older woman complained. "I'm only having some fun with her."
"I'm confused," Rei said softly. "Kaworu is not overweight. Why would his pants not be filled out like any other person of his size and weight?"
"She doesn't mean that kind of filled out, Wondergirl," Asuka sighed. "The kind she's talking about happens behind the fly, if you catch my drift."
"Oh...OH," Rei said, her tone changing as a blush came across her face.
"You're too easy," Misato giggled as she noticed the First Child's sudden show of embarrassment.
"T...that was not my intention," Rei said defensively as she turned away. "I only desired the opportunity to get to know him in a more social setting and Sohryu suggested inviting him to the wedding."
"Well, far be it for me to stifle young love," Misato relented as Asuka muttered something about hypocrisy.
"But..." Rei said almost excitedly as she turned around. "What about the seating arrangement?"
"I think I can squeeze him in," the Major smiled.
"You could squeeze in the Titanic," Asuka quipped softly, drawing great satisfaction as her guardian became visibly agitated. "Oh, you meant at the RECEPTION."
"Of course I meant the reception!" Misato snapped at the redhead before turning her attention to the enigmatic girl standing next to her. "The question is who to uninvite?" Misato said pensively as she brought her hand to her chin.
"Feel free to uninvite me," Asuka offered. "I'd rather not be seen in public with this dress. I have a reputation you know."
"Don't worry," Misato grinned. "Your 'reputation' will be upheld at the end of the night when that dress ends up crumpled in a ball on the floor next to Shinji's bed; somewhere between your dignity and respect."
"Major Katsuragi, Asuka please," Rei interjected. "Can we get back to the subject?"
"Yes," Misato replied, "sure. We were discussing the seating arrangement." The woman stood for a moment, stroking her chin in deep thought. "I got it," she smiled, "I'll just tell Kaji that his mother can't come."
"You're going to kick your future mother in law out of the wedding?" Asuka laughed. "You really are insane."
"What will Mister Kaji say?" Rei questioned.
"Who cares about him?" Misato smirked. "This is my day, and what I say goes. Besides, just between us...I can't stand that woman."
"I hope she knows a good divorce attorney," Naru said to the reflection of Asuka in the mirror. "I think she's going to need it."
---------
"How much farther?" Kensuke whined, dragging his sleeve across his sweaty brow. "We've walked at least a mile since you made us get off the bus."
"It's right around the corner," Touji said as he pointed to the busy intersection in the distance. "I swear."
"You said that two blocks ago," the spectacled teen mumbled as the three young men battled through the crowded late afternoon sidewalk. "I think you're lost."
"I'm not lost!" Touji snapped, "I have a great sense of direction."
"You're kidding, right?" the shorter boy said as he pulled off his glasses and began wiping off the beads of perspiration on his shirt. "Or have you forgotten how you almost missed last year's class trip because you went to the train station instead of the airport?"
"That was an honest mistake," the uniformed jock retorted, jumping to the side to avoid a group of school children milling about on the sidewalk, waiting for the crosswalk light to change. "It was a big building, there were signs that said arrivals and departures...plus all the people coming and going."
"And the fact that the vehicles these people were getting into and out of didn't have...oh, I don't know...WINGS bother you?"
"I don't pretend to keep up to date on the latest advances in aviation," Touji said matter of factly. "I'm not some techno nerd like you."
"You're just lucky the class rep called looking for you," Kensuke grinned as he put his glasses back on, "if you didn't have your cell phone on, you might still be sitting there waiting for Flight 1377 to Okinawa."
"So where are we going?" Shinji asked, becoming concerned that indeed they were lost. That tended to happen a lot when Touji was involved with navigating.
"I said I'd tell you when we got there," Touji said, stopping to look up at the street signs and thinking they looked somewhat familiar. "Hey Shinji," he started as he turned to face the Third Child. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Do you ever think about the future?"
"The future?" Shinji repeated.
"Yeah," Touji said, arching his back and standing up on his tiptoes in an effort to better see over the crowd. "Like what are you going to be doing a year from now?"
"I hadn't given it much thought," the Eva pilot said curiously, surprising himself with his answer. "I mean I'd like to attend college, but since I'm not allowed to leave NERV...I guess it'll have to be Tokyo-3 University."
"Tokyo-3 is a great school," Kensuke offered. "I know if I can't get into New Kobe Tech, I'll end up there."
"Must be nice to have a choice," Touji said dejectedly as he pointed at a storefront in the distance. "There it is," he said as he started pushing through the crowd.
The other two teens attempted to pursue their friend as he worked his way down the sidewalk, dodging the masses of humanity fighting for the same piece of concrete real estate. After they had walked about half a block, Shinji picked up his pace and strode up next to his taller comrade.
"What's the matter?" he said stealing a quick glance at Touji before stepping to the side and allowing an old lady to pass between them. "You seem upset all of a sudden."
"I'm sorry," Touji said softly, "I didn't mean to take it out on you. I've just been worried about a lot of stuff lately, that's all."
"You've got nothing to worry about," Shinji smiled, "you'll get into a good school."
"Are you joking?" Touji said incredulously. "I'm not smart enough to get into college; never mind the fact I got caught cheating and will most likely end up in jail."
"I hope to God so! We spend three miserable frikkin' years studying for those damn tests, they should hang you by your -" Kensuke shouted before the wide-eyed and frightened looks of his friends took him out of his capital view of the education system. "Er...I mean it's doubtful they'll arrest you for cheating on a test. But you may have a point. I've seen your grades," he said shaking his head in disapproval. "Not good."
"You could at least try to be supportive," Shinji whispered to his spectacled friend.
"Well..." Kensuke deliberated for a moment. "You have your health."
"Don't bother," Touji said, "I know the truth. Asuka might have been right when she said a career in sanitation removal was in my future."
"She was playing a joke on you," the Third Child reassured. "I don't think there's a tarot card called the five of garbage cans."
Touji stopped on the sidewalk, and turned to address his friends. "I'm not as dumb as you guy's think. Sure, I'm not book smart, but I've got common sense," he said, tapping his temple as a loud truck rumbled by on the street behind him. "And I've accepted the fact I'll probably never get into college. But I could care less about myself. It's Hikari I'm worried about."
"Hikari?" Kensuke questioned, "I'd be willing to bet she will have her choice of schools. Why should you be worried about her?"
"I'm not worried she won't get into a school...rather what happens when she does."
"Huh?"
"She's going to get into college," Touji sighed, "in fact her acceptance at Kei University is almost guaranteed."
"Not KEI!" Kensuke exclaimed, "all this time I thought she was going to Tokyo-3. I didn't know she had set her sights on Kei. You're screwed now."
"Am I missing something?" Shinji asked. "What's so bad about Kei University?"
"Nothing, in fact it's probably the best school in the nation," Kensuke clamored, "some say it's the best liberal arts institution in the world. Very select enrollment. The best of the best."
Touji looked at Shinji. "And if that wasn't bad enough, it's in Nagano," he sighed, a slight frown appearing on his face. "At least a five hour train ride. Awful, isn't it?"
"What're you guys complaining about?" Shinji said dumbfounded. "Sounds like a great opportunity. I'm happy for her."
"And all along I thought you were my friend," Touji growled.
"Yeah," Kensuke joined in condescendingly. "Ikari, you're cold."
"What did I say?" Shinji complained.
"Ignore him...he's got the 'perfect' relationship, so why should he care," Kensuke said sharply as he turned toward Touji. "If it's not too painful...could you tell me what she's going to study?"
"Hikari really wants to get into their International Relations program," Touji said dejectedly. "She'd like to be a teacher someday."
"Not International Relations!" Kensuke shouted, almost causing his glasses to fall off. "That's the single hardest curriculum they have. This just keeps getting worse. I'm surprised you haven't done something stupid, like...I don't know...kill yourself maybe," he chuckled.
"This hurts so much, I've thought about it."
"You've thought about killing yourself!" Shinji said loudly, an astonished look on his face. "This is all crazy. So you have to spend some time apart, I don't see why you're getting this depressed about it."
Touji noticed the perplexed stare his friend had, and slowly came to a realization. "Y...you really don't understand what's happening, do you?"
"Not a clue."
"Okay, first off Hikari is going to Kei University," Touji said, waiting for Shinji to indicate that he understood before continuing. "And there is not a chance in hell I'll get into Kei."
"That's probably true," Shinji agreed.
"Good...now Kei is in Nagano while I'm going to be in Tokyo-3."
"But you're only a train ride away," the Third Child offered, sensing the direction this discussion was taking.
"A FIVE hour train ride," Touji replied, "and never mind the fact I have no idea how I'm going to pay for it."
"Okay, you have a point," Shinji conceded, "but it's not-"
"Stick with me for a minute," the Stooge interrupted, holding his index finger up to silence the Eva pilot. "So now Hikari and I are separated for the entire school year. What's that...seven months?"
"Closer to eight," Kensuke said perceptively. "And given her probable course load I wouldn't be surprised if she took some summer courses as well."
"Thank you," Touji said, his tone attempting to sound appreciative, but coming off more sarcastic than anything.
"So that will make the time you spend together all that much better," Shinji offered. The raised eyebrows and smirks he received in response to that comment made him realize quickly how stupid it sounded.
"Yeah," Touji said mockingly, "and now returning to the real world...my girlfriend is hundreds of miles away, surrounded by hundreds of guys who are smarter than me-"
"Better looking too," Kensuke added. "Kei is famous for recruiting the 'beautiful people,' so to speak. Maybe I should try-"
"Thank you...AGAIN," the jock said through his gnashing teeth, giving his smaller friend an evil glare. "Back to the point," he started turning back to Shinji, "Hikari's an attractive girl; guys are going to hit on her all the time and if I'm not there to hit on them with my fist..."
"You think that she'll find someone better," the Third Child said finishing the thought.
"Exactly," Touji nodded. "Two years is a long time."
"Suzahara, Kei is a four year school," Kensuke said, suddenly growing pale as the other teen glared at his announcement. "I...I could be mistaken though."
"But you're forgetting that Hikari loves you," Shinji said, "I just can't see her-"
"Now let's pretend," Touji said, speaking over his friend, "that somehow I make it through the next FOUR," he emphasized the final word and took the opportunity to glower at Kensuke, "years without her dumping me. What happens then? Do you think a successful woman like her will want to be seen with an uneducated, poor commoner like me? No way. She'll be some great professor who teaches at a well-respected university...and I'll be the guy who goes around and picks up their trash. We won't be compatible anymore. She'll have her smart, rich, cool, upper class friends, and me...well I'll still be hanging around with you losers."
"Hey!" Shinji and Kensuke cried in unison at the perceived snub.
"Nah, our relationship will be over the minute she leaves for school," Touji said as he stepped forward and placed one hand on each of his friends' shoulders. "Unless, she has no choice but to stay with me."
"I don't see anyway you can force her to stay with you," Shinji pondered aloud, "I mean unless you plan on..." He paused for a moment as the sheer absurdity of his immediate thought overwhelmed him. "But that would be crazy," he said shaking his head in an attempt to clear the notion. "You surely aren't planning to-"
"You're going to knock her up!" Kensuke gasped.
"You can't," the Eva Pilot exclaimed. "Bringing a child into this world for that reason is deplorable!"
"And I think illegal too," the spectacled teen added.
"Calm down," Touji said. "That was my original plan...but I realized that it seemed a little too, I don't know...reckless."
"A little?" Shinji frowned.
"Yeah, so I decided to do something much less desperate. Something not nearly as pathetic."
A confident grin appeared on the larger teen's face as he used his hands and slowly turned the other two around. "Welcome," he said as he stepped between and joined them in gazing up at the large sign above the store in front of them. 'Rally's Discount Diamond Jewelry.'
"You're not-" Shinji exclaimed.
"You can't-" Kensuke screamed.
"Come on guys," Touji said happily as he reached out and pulled on the door handle. "We've got an engagement ring to buy so I can beg her to marry me."
---------
"I think I see Ikari," Rei said as she stared out the large glass window at the front of Naru's store. After finding the bickering between the others unbearable, the teenager had taken up her usual position, watching life pass her by.
"What?" Asuka's voice questioned from the back room. "Did you say you saw Shinji?"
Rei stood up on her tiptoes and squinted, peering between the printed kanji on the dirty glass advertising the lowest prices in town. "Yes. Mister's Suzahara and Aida appear to be with him."
"What's he doing on this side of town?" the redhead said as she ran up and took a position next to her fellow pilot. Her bridesmaid's dress was loosely wrapped around her, the only thing shielding her from the potential prying eyes of the passersby on the street.
"I do not know," the Unit 00 pilot replied. "He seems to be listening to Suzahara at the moment."
"What's going on?" Misato said as she walked up next to the pair and stared out the window. Not nearly as bashful as her charge, the older woman appeared content in her bright white slip. Leaning forward in an attempt catch sight of what everyone was looking at, she inadvertently pressed her bosom firmly against the glass, causing more then a few men to stop and stare.
"Do you think he's trying to sneak a peek at me in this dress?" Asuka said as she watched the three teens in the distance. "I bet he's just DYING to see what I look like."
"Ha," the Major exclaimed, "don't you wish. I'm betting the other two made him come up here so they could look at the goods." Misato placed her hands under her ample breasts. "The Katsuragi goods."
"Like they haven't already seen them, the way you strut around the house," the Second Child quipped. "Come to think of it, it would be hard to find someone in Tokyo-3 who hasn't seen them."
"Why are you always so jealous of me?" Misato grinned. "Are you still mad about me marrying Kaji?"
"You still haven't gone through with it yet," Asuka smiled, "or after two cancellations, are you hoping the third time is a charm?"
"There were legitimate reasons we postponed the wedding before," the woman said crossly. "Reasons you wouldn't understand."
"Oh, I know the reasons," the redhead smirked, "you seem to forget that Japanese walls are very thin...especially when you scream."
"I don't need to explain myself to you."
"Whatever you say...Tubby," Asuka said flatly. "Do me a favor and have Kaji show Shinji how to do whatever he was doing to you last weekend. Based on the amount you were squealing, it MUST have been good. Either that or you were eating French fries in bed again."
"I tried to order a new plugsuit for you," Misato said as she turned to face the girl, "but the dealer doesn't have anything in Extra Fat. You'll have to squeeze into the Type-D for now."
"Here," Asuka growled as she balled her hand into a fist and held it up in front of the Operations Director while frantically trying to hold her dress up with the other. "How about I cram something other than donuts into your mouth for once!"
The two females glared at one another, their noses almost touching as they stared one another down, an audible snarl coming from at least one of them.
"They have entered that store," Rei said softly, pointing in the general direction of their last location.
"Where, where?" Asuka and Misato said as they forgot the confrontation and took their previous positions in the window.
"I can't see anything," the Unit 02 pilot griped.
"Me either," the Major said as her head bobbed around between the kanji trying to see. Quickly, it was apparent why. "Where did all this smoke come from?"
"The cause seems to be that vehicle which just impacted your car," Rei replied.
"Oh damn it," the violet haired woman gasped as she turned and saw her lovely blue Alpine A310 pressed a little closer to the sidewalk than where she had originally left it. Protruding from the passenger's side was a bright white Toyota pickup truck, steam and smoke boiling out from under its crumbled hood. "What kind of idiot hits a parked car?"
"The other driver appeared to be...distracted by your goods."
Misato and Asuka finally noticed the fairly large congregation of males that were gathered outside of the dress shop window. They also quickly noted that most of them were oblivious to the accident and were staring intently at the scantily clad pair.
"Shiest," Asuka gasped as she ducked down below the window and out of sight. "Damn perverts," she muttered while pulling her dress over her as much as possible. "This stupid country is full of them."
Misato was not nearly as concerned at the growing throng as she remained in the window, studying the damage to her most prized possession. "I just finished paying off the LAST accident," she whined as she started toward the front door.
"Where to you think you're going?"
"I want that clown's insurance information," Misato said as she pulled the door open. "I'm certainly not going to pay for this," she said as she stepped out the exit, a chorus of whistles and cheers greeting her.
"Great, now she'll probably cause a ten car pileup," the Unit 02 pilot grumbled. Glancing up she noticed that Rei was still intently staring out the window. "What kind of store did you say Shinji went into?"
"I cannot read the title from this distance," Rei returned. "You are unaware of this trip?"
"No...and it's not like him to sneak around." Asuka made a fist and slammed it into her open palm. "I have to know what's going on."
"Miss Sohryu," Naru called out from the other room. "If you and the Major are finished fooling around, I need you back in here."
"I'm coming," the redhead whined loudly. "This is great," she groaned as she slowly stood up, "I'll never find out what's going on..." Her voice trailed off as she stumbled on an idea. She turned to the Unit 00 pilot, a twinkle in her eye.
"You would like me to spy on Ikari," Rei said, stealing the words right out of her teammate's mouth.
"Well, not SPY," Asuka said quickly, "so much as...well...yeah, spy."
Rei paused for a moment, an unfamiliar feeling washing over her as she contemplated the appeal. It wasn't the request itself that surprised her. No, it was more the fact that her fellow pilot was asking her to do something so private, so privileged, so trusting, something between...friends.
"I...I will," she said softly, fighting back the smile that threatened to overwhelm her.
"Just don't make it obvious," the Second Child said.
"Obvious?"
"Yeah, you know," Asuka said as she turned and walked toward the back room. "Don't let him know why you're there or anything or else he'll get suspicious."
"I understand."
"Good," Asuka said as she disappeared out of sight, "I'm counting on you."
This time Rei was unable to hold in her smile.
---------
"Well, it's a diamond," Shinji said as he stared intently at the circular gold object resting in Touji's hand. A small clear object was attached to the side of the ring, glinting as the light hit it just right. "I think."
"What are you talking about?" Touji protested as he held the band between his thumb and forefinger. "Look at how it sparkles."
"Yes, it definitely sparkles," the Third Child said as he squinted in a futile attempt to see it. "Very nice."
"Kinda small," Kensuke said nonchalantly, drawing a disapproving frown from Shinji.
"Do you think so?" Touji said as he held the ring up to the light to inspect it closer. "
"It's beautiful," Shinji said reassuringly.
"Yes, very striking," Kensuke said flatly as he leaned in for his own closer examination. "How big is it?"
"It's an eighth carat," Touji said eagerly as he continued to gaze upon the gemstone with a childish glee. "The clerk said it was rare to find a stone like this."
"Probably because if a good breeze comes up, it blows them all away," Kensuke whispered to Shinji.
"Huh?" Touji questioned, too busy admiring his prize to hear exactly what was said.
"I was just saying that size doesn't really matter. It's the thought that counts."
The larger teen turned and looked at his spectacled friend. "Oh great," he sighed, his mood suddenly changing. "It's not a good ring, is it?"
"What?" Kensuke replied defensively, "I never said there was anything wrong with it."
"But you're implying that with your 'it's the thought that counts', comment!"
"No I'm not!"
"Yes you are," Touji protested. "It's no different than that time I was trying to set you up on a blind date with Hikari's cousin Sakura. She asked if you were good looking and I said you had a great personality."
"So THAT'S why she never called me back!" Kensuke shouted, crossing his arms on his chest and feigning a pout. "I thought you were my friend."
"I am your friend," the head Stooge replied haughtily. "Geez, I lied about your personality and everything."
"This is getting us nowhere," Shinji interrupted as he turned to Touji and smiled. "If this is the ring you want, then I think it's the most beautiful one in the store. And I think Hikari will agree."
"Obviously I would like to get a bigger one," Touji said softly, "but this is all I can afford right now."
"What do you think, Mister Suzahara?" the pretty store clerk said as she stepped over to where the trio was standing. Her dark hair matched her brown eyes, a soft, yet commanding smile dominated her features as she leaned forward and rested her elbows on the glass display counter. "You've come here every Monday for two months. Are you going to buy it this time?"
"I'm not sure, Miss Vincent," Touji said, drawing a sigh from the woman.
"I've told you before, call me Rally. And you seem like a nice guy. I'm sure any girl would be ecstatic to get a ring from you, especially if they knew how much time and effort you put into it."
"But that's the problem...she's not just ANY girl."
"Well," Rally chuckled as she stood up, "if you're worried about her saying no...I also have a few guns in the back. Just for last-minute convincing mind you."
"You sell guns?" Shinji asked.
"Not anymore," the woman said with a grin. "I used to have a little shop back in the States, Chicago in fact, but with the anti-gun laws nowadays, it wasn't worth the hassle from the government."
"What does a chick know about guns?" Kensuke wisecracked.
"I should stick to pots and pans?" Rally said sharply.
"No," the teen replied, slightly embarrassed that his comment was heard.
"Then what do you mean?"
"I'm just saying that guns are men's specialty," Kensuke said, defending his male pride. "That's all."
"You're probably right," Rally sighed as she stepped forward. Her right hand reached down and began fidgeting with something behind the display case. "I should have picked a career in something more feminine...hairdressing perhaps?"
"Women seem to be good at that."
"Maybe it's not too late to learn," the woman said with a smile. "I could start right now. You've got some hair sticking out on the side," she said, pointing to the offending curls on his head. "Can I fix it?"
Kensuke reached up and confirmed that indeed a tuft of his light brown hair was indeed out of place. "Yeah, sure. You have a comb-"
He was cut off mid-sentence as in one fluid motion, faster then he could perceive; Rally drew a revolver out from under the display case and fired. His eyes locked on the barrel, a single wisp of smoke escaping from it as beside him the tresses of his hair slowly fluttered to the ground.
"Hairdressing is fun," Rally said as she brought the gun barrel up to her mouth and blew. "Care for a complete cut?"
"A...a...a...a," Kensuke stammered, his shaking becoming uncontrollable.
"I'll take that as a no," the woman said as she returned the gun to its hiding place.
With a crash the spectacled teen fell to the floor.
"I'll take the ring," Touji said as he glanced down at the quivering mass that was his friend. "Is cash good?" he said even while pulling crumpled bills out of his pockets, dumping them on the display case, a few coins rattling about on the glass.
"Very good," Rally smiled as she took the gold band from his hand. "Let me get the box." With that she walked to the far end of the counter and started working the register.
"Is he dead?" Shinji said cautiously.
"I don't see any blood," Touji replied, "so I think he'll live." The two teens bent down and picked up their trembling friend. "You have to admit, you asked for that," the jock smirked.
"Y...yeah, w...w...well, s...she's lucky," Kensuke said, his trembling lips having trouble forming words. He reached down and picked up the recently removed tuft of hair, noting that the strands were still warm.
"Weren't you scared?" Shinji questioned.
"Who me?" the Stooge replied, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "I've stared down the barrel of a three fifty seven before. No big deal." He pulled himself free of the others and stood on his own, awkwardly at first.
"Do you smell something?" Shinji said curiously.
"Not me," the spectacled teen said as he began to inch backward.
"Something sure stinks!" Touji said, raising his nose in the air and taking a deep breath. "It smells just like..."
"That was a forty-forty Magnum, smart guy...and the bathroom's in the back," Rally called out from the distance. Without a word, Kensuke blushed and started off in the direction the storekeeper was pointing. His pace was slow and deliberate, his shuffling feet and small steps making it appear as if he was trying desperately to hold something within his pants.
An uncomfortable silence fell over the two. Touji began counting out the money he had thrown on the display case, making doubly sure that he had the correct amount.
The bell above the front door rang, signaling that someone new had entered the store. "I'll be with you in a moment, miss," Rally said as she turned to acknowledge the girl. "As soon as I finish with these customers."
Touji flushed, the color leaving his face as he instantly recognized the newcomer. "Oh no, what is SHE doing here?"
Shinji spun around and watched as Rei walked among the various displays, stopping momentarily to carefully inspect a bracelet. "What's the matter?" he whispered to Touji.
"This is supposed to be a secret," he replied while pulling the Third Child behind a rack of necklaces and out of sight. "I can't let Ayanami see us."
"Why?" Shinji questioned. "I doubt that Rei cares."
"That's not the point." Touji paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "Listen Shinji...this proposal means everything to me. Ever since my mom died, my life has been one screw up after another. I had no purpose, no reason to grow up. That was until I started going out with Hikari. She's the only thing that ever made me feel like a man. I can't afford to mess that up."
"I understand that," Shinji said softly, "but I don't see how Rei could ruin your plan."
"I know that the ring I bought isn't much. It's not nearly what Hikari deserves, but it's all I can afford. I figure my only chance for her to accept it is to come up with an extra special way to propose to her. You know...sweep her off her feet. I can't do that if she knows its coming. That's the reason I picked a store on the other side of town, I wanted to make sure that NO ONE knew what I was planning."
"And you're worried that Rei might mention she saw you buying a ring?"
"Yeah," Touji nodded.
"Here you go," Rally said, causing the two teens to jump. It seemed that they were so preoccupied with avoiding the First Child, they didn't notice the storekeeper had walked over. She held out an open white velvet box, the freshly cleaned and polished ring shining brightly within. "Would you like it wrapped?"
"Er...um...no," Touji said as he glanced around looking for the blue haired girl. To his relief she was no longer in her previous location, in fact she was nowhere to be seen at the moment. Letting out a sigh of relief, he cautiously stepped out from behind his hiding spot and gently took the package from the woman.
"That is a beautiful ring, Suzahara."
The jock jumped nearly a foot in the air as Rei stepped out from an aisle and stood next to her classmate.
"Oh...ah, it's you Ayanami," he said in a flustered tone. "W...what brings you here?"
Now it was Rei's turn to panic as she was unprepared to explain a reason for her appearance. "I...I was looking for a graduation gift for Sohryu."
"That's nice," Touji said as he quickly closed the lid to the velvet box and tried to nonchalantly put it in his pocket. "Let me suggest the handcuffs and spiked collars in the back."
"Are you purchasing that ring?" she said, pointing down at his hand as it slid into his pocket. "Or are you committing a felony?"
"What, this little thing?" he said, reluctantly pulling the box out and holding it in front of her. "I was just checking it out for...a friend."
"That is an engagement ring, correct?" Rei questioned.
Touji hesitantly opened the velvet container to reveal the contents within. "Is it really? Huh, I thought it was a class ring."
"And the stone seems rather small," the Eva Pilot observed, her ruby eyes squinting as she tried to make out the setting.
"Yes, I know it's tiny!" Touji snapped, causing the pale skinned girl to recoil back.
"Hello," Shinji said, stepping out of the hiding place and coming to his fellow Stooge's rescue. "Listen, can I ask you a favor?"
"Shinji don't!" the jock cried.
"Rei, Touji is going to give that ring to Hikari, but he wants it to be a surprise. Can you promise me that you will keep it a secret until then?"
"You wish me to tell no one...even Sohryu?"
"Especially Sohryu," Touji nodded. "That girl's like a walking Internet chat room."
"Please," Shinji pleaded. "Can you do this for ME?"
"I will tell no one," Rei said as she watched Shinji and Touji let out a collective sigh of relief. "I will keep the secret."
"Great," Touji said as he quickly jammed the jewelry box into his pocket. "Thanks a lot Ayanami," he said as he reached out and hugged the First Child gingerly. "You're a great person."
"T...thanks," she blushed.
"Rei, if you're finished would you like to go back with us?"
"That would be acceptable."
"Fine," the Third Child smiled, holding his hands out in the direction of the door. "After you."
"Have a nice day," Rally said as she watched the trio walk away, opening the door and tripping the bell hanging over it, the soft tinkling sound reverberating throughout the empty store. "Come back anytime."
"Did you notice how much that woman's voice sounds like yours, Rei?" Shinji said thoughtfully as he followed the others out onto the crowded sidewalk.
"I do not agree," the Unit 00 pilot said.
"I never noticed," Touji shrugged.
"Just an observation," Shinji grumbled. The three walked toward the bus stop for a few steps. "Are we forgetting something?"
"I don't think so," Touji replied.
"I keep thinking we're forgetting something," the Third Child said as they continued down the crowded sidewalk.
The clapper in the bell over the door had barely stopped before its sound was replaced by the sounds of a flushing toilet, Kensuke emerging from the now open bathroom. "Guys?" he called out, standing on his tiptoes as he began scanning the store. "Guys?"
---------
"This book says you can eat two hundred points a day," Shinji said as he scanned the pamphlet opened on the counter next to him. He idly stirred the stainless steel pot on the stove, wisps of steam escaping from it as he did. With his other hand he threw a piece of carrot from the pile he had been chopping into his mouth. "Then it goes on to give the points for each different type of food."
"I KNOW what the damn thing says," Asuka growled, an identical guide lying open on the table in front of her. "Just find me something in there to eat and make it!"
"Already having trouble sticking with the diet?" Misato grinned over a can of Yebisu Extra Light. "If you're suffering so much, you can always quit."
"Never!" the redhead snapped, regretting the small lunch she had eaten earlier. Based on her quick review of the brochure, it would be the last decent meal she would eat for a long time. "How's that beer?" she said nonchalantly.
"Tastes like water," Misato said as she rocked the can back and forth, swirling the liquid within. "But it's got less calories than regular Yebisu Light, so I'm not complaining." She tilled up the can and within one or two heartbeats the precious amber liquid gone. "Yyyyyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh," she screamed as she slammed the empty container to the table with a resounding thud. "Shinji, be a dear and get me another."
Shinji dutifully stepped over to the refrigerator and brought the purple haired woman her brew.
"Thanks," she smiled up at her charge.
"Twenty," Asuka mumbled as she scribbled something on a notepad.
"What?" Misato questioned as she jerked the pull top on her fresh alcoholic beverage, opening it with a crack.
"I said twenty."
"I know that's what you said," the Major said as she leaned forward and tried to see what Asuka was recording. "What's twenty supposed to mean? And what do you have that notebook for?"
"This?" the Unit 02 pilot said as she motioned to the object in question.
"Yeah."
"I'm using it to keep track of the diet."
"Oh," Misato said knowingly, "that's a good idea. Now you can keep track of how many points you've used each day. See, I told you this would be fun."
"Something like that," Asuka smirked.
"So what's the twenty for?" the Operations Director questioned as she took a rather healthy guzzle of beer. "Is that how many pounds you have to lose?"
"No," the Second Child said, returning her guardian's mocking grin with one of her own. "You maybe."
"You may dream," Misato replied, "but all I need is a pound or two here and there, nothing too dramatic. I'm on this diet to give you moral support."
"Whatever."
The German girl's lack of a meaningful response was getting frustrating to Misato. Not to mention the rumbling in her own stomach at the absence of any solid food. Instinctively she reached out at the bag of potato chips that always seemed to grace the Katsuragi table. 'Just a couple,' she thought to herself, remembering the starvation regime she had started.
"Eight...no nine," Asuka said indecisively as she watched the Major place the salty snacks into her mouth. "Yeah, that's nine," she added while jotting the same information into her record.
"Alright, what are you doing?" Misato shouted, bits of the chips spraying everywhere. "Tell me right now!"
"You were right when you asked if I'm keeping track of the points," the redhead said smartly, "but they're not mine...they're yours. And those chips bring your total for the day to one hundred forty nine."
"Huh...what...no," the Major whined, her mind quickly trying to remember exactly what she ate and how many points each item was.
"Know something, you're right," Asuka grinned as she casually flipped the pages of the manual, "this IS going to be fun."
"Shinji," Misato bellowed, "get me a blank sheet of paper and a pen. And take these chips and put them in the garbage."
"Why throw them away?" he said as he turned around at the stove to address her. "I'll eat them, I'm not on any type of diet."
"I don't need the temptation," the Major said as she reluctantly handed the offending foodstuff to her charge. "And while you're at it, after dinner I want you to go through the cupboards and throw out anything that is worth more than fifteen points."
"But that's everything I like," he frowned, "not to mention the cost of all this stuff."
"I'm prepared to make the sacrifices that have to be made."
"Yeah, but why is it that I end up doing most of the sacrificing?" Shinji mumbled softly as he deposited the half eaten bag of chips into the garbage bin and returned to his cooking duties. "If either of you had any will power..."
"I heard that!" Asuka shouted causing Shinji to jump. "How dare you question my willpower? Why I've got more resolve in this finger than both of you put together." As she finished the redhead held up her right index finger and proudly displayed it.
Misato took a deep breath and prepared to unleash one of her traditional tirades, when something on the girl's digit caught her eye. The light from the fixture over the table shone brightly on the tip of her finger, indicating the presence of a foreign substance. A substance the woman knew quite well.
"Let me see that," she said reaching out and grabbing the Second Child's finger. Before the German girl had a chance to react, Misato pushed the appendage into her mouth, quickly closing her lips tightly around it.
"What the hell are you doing?" Asuka screamed as she pulled her hand away, her finger coming out of her guardian's mouth with a 'pop'. "Go do that stuff with Maya and Doctor Akagi!"
"I knew it!" the Operations Director shouted as her tongue ran around her lips.
"Knew what?" Shinji questioned.
"Salt!" Misato said confidently, basking in her revelation. She cast an accusing eye at the Unit 02 pilot. "Salt and potato chip oil."
"I...I don't know what you're talking about," Asuka said, her face flushing at the comment.
"I should have known," Misato said as she balled her hand into a fist. "That bag seemed awfully empty for one just opened. I bet you were stuffing your face while I was in my room changing...weren't you?"
"I was not."
"Don't lie Asuka, it's written all over your face."
"What ARE you talking about?"
"If you didn't eat the chips," Misato said softly, "what are all those crumbs?"
"Huh...what?" Asuka gasped, her hand instantly reaching up to her mouth. "No there isn't," she said after wiping the area around her chin and jaw and finding nothing. Of course nothing was ever there, as she quickly realized seeing the celebratory grin on the Major's face. "Damn."
"So how many points are a half a bag of potato chips?" Misato said, looking at Shinji as she picked up her pen and prepared to enter the result on the blank sheet of paper.
"I think you've made your point," Shinji said softly, "there's no need-"
"No, really I don't have a clue how this diet works and you have the book."
"Here," the Third Child said as he handed the woman the pamphlet. "I don't want to get involved."
Misato began flipping through the pages. "Before I forget," she said looking up, "you both are to skip afternoon classes tomorrow and report to headquarters for sync testing at noon sharp. Don't be late. "
"But we're not supposed to have another sync test until after graduation," Asuka complained. "I checked the schedule."
"I know," the Operations Director replied, "this is a special situation. We have a high ranking visitor arriving tomorrow from the German Branch."
"So just because some moron shows up, we have to drop everything?"
"Not just any moron," Misato said seriously, "it's General Von Scherbach." The name immediately registered with Asuka, her expression dropping as fast as her jaw. "I see you remember him."
"Yeah," Asuka said softly, "but why would the commander of the German Second Branch be coming all the way to Japan?"
"He's not just the commander of the German branch anymore," Misato said as she took a sip of her beer. "With the death last month of Chairman Kihl, he's now been appointed leader of the UN committee that oversees NERV."
"You mean he's my father's boss?"
"In a way, yes," the purple haired woman grinned, "although I find it hard to imagine anyone controlling your father. Kihl certainly couldn't."
"Why do you think he's coming?" Asuka questioned.
"Beats me," Misato shrugged, "and Commander Ikari either doesn't know or isn't telling. But if it makes you feel any better, you Children aren't the only ones who have to rearrange your schedules for him. I have to give him a tour of the entire base tomorrow, in full uniform dress. And poor Ritsuko has been working all day and night to prepare her area for inspection."
"This can't be a good thing," the Second Child said quietly, lowering her head and shaking it back and forth slowly.
The concern in her charge's tone was quite apparent. "I wouldn't worry about it," Misato chuckled, flipping her hand around to signify her own lack of trepidation. "He's probably just coming to make sure that we're still ready in case the Angels return. He'll be here and gone before you know it."
"I certainly hope so," Asuka whispered.
---------
High above the Pacific Ocean, a white Dornier 528J jet slipped effortlessly between the clouds. Twin contrails merged into one as it streaked across the sky, the setting sun shining brightly on the NERV logo painted proudly on its side, just behind an even larger German flag. The sunlight spraying through the main cabin revealed that it was empty, save for the lone uniformed figure sitting in the back.
"Sir, we should be on the ground at Tokyo-3 International Airport at oh- nine-hundred," the pilot called out over the intercom.
"Right on schedule," the man smiled as he placed his briefcase on the table in front of him and opened it. Stamped with the label TOP SECRET, was a large photograph of the Second and Third Children engaged in a clandestine kiss. The old man frowned as he turned it over to reveal another and still another. His trembling fingers slowly contracted, dragging the picture with it as he crumpled the smiling images of Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Sohryu into an unrecognizable ball.
"Enjoy it while you can," he laughed as the plane rocketed onward.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Authors Notes: Just to clarify, this is a rewrite, not a repost. The first couple of chapters didn't change too much from the original, but I think by now you can see some things and some people have. The Rally from the jewelry shop is the same Rally Vincent from 'Gunsmith Cats.' That might help with the inside joke about Rei's voice for those, like myself, that listen to English dub. The name Von Scherbach is not made up, it's from a very famous old movie. Congrats to Tony Ayon for knowing he was from Stalag 17, and believe it or not "Hogan's Heroes" was based it. The Koishen is like the Japanese high school World Series. It's very important to anyone who plays baseball in Japan, and if you ever get a chance to see 'Princess Nine,' they go into it in detail.
Special thanks to my prereaders: Random, Rhine and Jeff Alan. And again for the 2.0 version, LeperMessiah. Without them this story would not be possible.
Random and Rhine pointed out I needed to add the bit about a Western style wedding because apparently in Asia, most wedding dresses are not white, since white is the color of death. Funny, I still see a connection between marriage and death, but I decided to fix it anyway. Thanks for enlightening me on it.
C&C is always welcome at ryoma3000yahoo.com
OMAKE THEATER
(Readers who remember the original version of BLP2 will find this a bit more amusing. For those that don't, Olga is/was an ACC I created for Kensuke. Basically she is every fanboy's dream. Gorgeous, loves anime, cooking, hentai and otaku's. In other words she is a complete fantasy.)
Ryoma's sexy and overworked secretary Korina: Over intercom Sir, an irate, large breasted woman is demanding to see you.
Ryoma: Again? This is the third one this week. What does she want?
Korina: She won't say sir.
Ryoma: Is she pregnant?
Korina: No sir.
Ryoma: closing secret escape passage door Send her in.
The door to Ryoma's spacious office opens and a young woman storms across the floor, her blonde hair swinging back and forth.
Olga: slamming manuscript on desk What the hell is this?
Ryoma: glancing at papers It's the rewrite of Best Laid Plans 2.
Olga: I KNOW that. What I want to know is why the hell have I been written out of it?
Ryoma: It was a bad idea from the start. You were distracting and stealing precious screen time from the more important characters...never mind hijacking the plot.
Olga: You promised this would be my big break in Eva fanfiction. You said I could be the next DJ Croft.
Ryoma: Those are the breaks kid.
Olga: But what about the weekend we spent together in the mountains?
Ryoma: That was probably the only reason I kept you around so long.
Olga: getting angry You weren't that good, you know.
Ryoma: If I had a dollar-
Olga: smiling I don't care. I've already signed a four fic deal with Random.
Ryoma: So I heard. I'd be careful about that though, rumor has it he's dying to do a Chairman Kihl lemon pairing. Though you're probably better off with him than King of Seahorses.
Olga: You'll regret this. brandishing fist I'll never rest until you and your fics are ruined...RUINED I tell you!
Ryoma: pressing finger on secret trap door button under desk I'll have you know I do a good enough job of that myself, thank you.
Olga: Don't talk to me you scumbag.
Ryoma: frantically mashing trap door button Olga...I truly...
Olga: Lair! falling through trapdoor Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh...
Ryoma: depressing intercom button Korina, what are you doing?
Korina: Just finishing posting my 'quitting the Internet' rant on my website sir.
Ryoma: Can you bring me a sandwich and call the trapdoor serviceman, the delay is screwed up on it again.
Korina: Right away. Sir?
Ryoma: Yes Korina.
Korina: Kensuke Aida is here to see you. He looks very upset.
Ryoma: Is he holding a manuscript for the new version of Best Laid Plans 2?
Korina: Yes sir.
Ryoma: sighing and putting finger on trapdoor button Send him in.
(DISCLAIMER: Any relationship or similarity between characters in this omake and real life persons is completely coincidental.)