Author's note: Just once, I'd like TPTB to stick to a set amount of time
Harm was gone. They've said everything from 3 to 6 months. That's not too
much to ask for is it? Anyway, a big thank you to every one who has been
reviewing and/or e-mailing me. It really means a lot. Don't be afraid to
flame either if that's your inclination either. Oh, on another note I have
no idea how Child Services works so Harm's probably going to say things
that are so far out there you'll probably laugh. Just keep that in mind
before you roast me over an open flame.
2028 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
I should be working, but I'm not. I'm leaning up against the wall just outside of the door to the bullpen watching Jen. After I patched the latest hole in the tattered fabric that is my friendship with Mac, I came out here to watch her. By the way she was goading me back there, if I didn't know better I'd say she and Mattie talked about a lot more than my location this past weekend. Its not that I'm against being married, if I could find out what it is about me that's holding Catherine back I'd certainly think about giving it a go with her. Not right now of course, but in time. No, what I'm against the entire notion of these enormous weddings people throw. I just don't see the appeal of starting your new life with someone under a mountain of debt that landed on you for the enjoyment of one day. Obviously, my parents could and probably would pay for any wedding my future wife wanted and still live in the lap of luxury for the rest of their lives, but I'd be just as happy running off to Vegas. I'm not interested in the wedding; I'm interested in the woman beside me. Jen eventually makes her way to her own desk after being sent away by Harriet who by the looks of things is not having a good day. I can't believe she decided to take that U.S.O tour event on her shoulders. Once I'm in my own office, which is thankfully rat-free now, I begin thinking about Petty Officer Ferrier and how to work her testimony in my favor. Mac didn't give my client the benefit of the doubt; she was looking for another way to bury him and in doing so she realized that she might have made a mistake. That's the nice thing about defending; I get to see all the cards Mac's holding. The whole woman scorned bit was harsh, granted not as much as my comments were about her in court, but I don't recall her apologizing for it either. Of course, she could have meant it as a threat too, but that doesn't seem likely. So now, we're right back to what I said about her a month ago in my apartment. She thinks overcoming her alcoholism gives her the right to judge other people. I have no idea why that irritates the hell out of me like it does. Our truce is only good until the next time we find something to fight about. Hell, this court martial isn't even over yet, there's plenty of time to fight about this again too.
2141 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
TWO DAYS LATER
This case was a much bigger headache than it needed to be. Petty Officer Ferrier did the right thing and I got the charges dropped. I'm sure Petty Officer Yates' CO will give him some sort of non-judicial punishment. The other nice thing about defending is that when a case is dropped like this its a lot more paper work for Mac than it is for me. Our truce is still intact, but I'm not holding my breath. We're still too capable of resorting to petty fighting at the drop of a hat. What we need to do is find some kind of safe neutral ground. Of course that kind of real estate has been hard to come by recently. It's hard to find safe topics to talk about that aren't completely pointless drivel. Talking about the latest movie we saw isn't what I consider intelligent conversation. We can't talk about any kind of relationship anymore. It used to be that we just couldn't talk about ours, but now everyone else's are off limits as well. Every conversation we've tried, they all seem to find a way back to ours. Work is out of the question too; we've dragged enough of our own personal baggage into it that we end up ducking insults. I can't tell if she's madder that I won't tell her what I was doing with the CIA, or that I didn't keep in touch during that time. I don't know what she really expects me to tell her. Most everything I was involved was way above anything she has clearance for anyway. There's no way I could ever tell her some of the things I did and she should know better than to even ask. Hell, dating Webb should have taught her that. Although, some of the things I did, I don't want her to know about either. Libya and the Philippines weren't the only places Beth and I had to land in and do some actual ground fighting. Both times, it got pretty bloody and I took more lives than I care to admit. Then there were the tactical strikes I made on my own. I never asked why, and they never said, they just handed me a target package and sent me on my way. Sometimes it was a preordained target and other times a team on the ground painted a target while I waited on standby. Columbia, Panama, the Sinai Peninsula, Bosnia, the list goes on. Most of those strikes were made flying Stealth fighters. Not once did I get up in a Tomcat. I did fly a F/A-22 Raptor on occasion, especially when I needed the speed as well as stealth. My missions in Iran and China are excellent examples of that. That was a sweet ride despite the fact that the zoomies are the only ones who get them. Bet it couldn't take a carrier landing though. Regardless of what happened, or what I did, I'll never call the CIA the dark side again. They do an important job over there and for a time it was the only way for me to serve my country, and to be honest most of the time I actually enjoyed my job. If they were to offer me my job back, its never going to happen of course, but if they did. I'd be hard pressed to say no, especially with the fifteen Imes cases and other stacks of miscellaneous files I have left to go through.
"No I'm serious, you picked the perfect time to call." The look on Mac's face was priceless when Mattie called. I know she was thinking it was either Catherine or some other blonde. Catherine isn't some blond, and I only wish she'd called me.
"How's that?" Hmmm, how do I say, 'you saving me from looking like a loser with nothing in his life, but work in front of Mac.' without saying it?
"I just got done with work and I wasn't in my car yet."
"And that makes it perfect?"
Time to lay it on thick. "No, it's perfect because you called." I am happy that she called. Unfortunately, I haven't seen her in over a week and calling is the best we could do during that time. I was all set to head up to Blacksberg last Friday when the Admiral ordered me out to the Gilcrist.
"Um, I was wondering about this weekend."
"If you've got a hot date the answer is 'No you can't stay out past ten.'" I can hear Mattie's amused snort on the other end followed by a small laugh.
"I don't think that's going to be a problem."
Pushing the elevator button, I can see Bud and Harriet coming this way. "Look unless I'm told otherwise by your favorite mean, old man I'm coming up this weekend okay?" I'm not going to be able to continue this here, so I head down the stairs instead trying to have this conversation with them in the elevator with me.
"I'm not going to be able to take this Saturday off Harm, the end of our season's approaching. We've got too much to do."
"That's fine I can find a place to stay up there."
"It's called my house, I've even got a spare bed for you to use."
"Your hospitality is simply overwhelming me."
"Yeah I'm a regular southern belle."
The stair well is empty so I'll remain in here for a while. At least until I'm sure Bud and Harriet have past through. "So whatcha doing?"
"Well I just finished changing my truck's left front tire. Rim was rusted right to the lugs. I had to kick it to get it off."
"Are you at home?"
"Just headed that way."
"What's for dinner?" If its pizza, I'm going to reach through this phone and strangle her.
"Macaroni and Cheese."
Oh, come on. "Mattie..."
"Harm I'm too tired to make something else up. I just want to eat, shower and go to bed. Be glad its not pizza."
Okay so she's making an effort. "It was that rough today?"
I can hear her sigh into the phone. "No, not really. I'm sure if I take a long, hot bath my attitude will improve."
"I'm sure you'll feel better. So what's the matter?"
"When are you coming up this weekend? She's avoiding my question, but I'll let it go for now.
"Not until Saturday afternoon. I've got a few thing I want to do first before I leave."
"Okay, I've got another question about our case."
"Shoot."
"When we go to court, do I have to stay with you during that time or what?"
I didn't think about that at all. "You know what? That's an excellent question, I have no idea."
"And you're a good lawyer?" I can hear her smile.
"Okay smarty pants, we'll see how much fun you're having when I'm doing all the flying in Sarah next time."
I can definitely hear her gasp at the thought. "You wouldn't."
I'm laughing, so I know, she knows I'm kidding. "Oh you better believe I would." Okay so her punishment would only last about ten minutes. It's the thought that counts right? "Drive home safe okay?"
"I will. I miss you Harm."
"Me, too. Call me if you need anything." Mattie hangs up and I make my way to my own car.
2326 ZULU
COMMANDER RABB'S APARTMENT
NORTH OF UNION STATION, VIRGINIA
You know when I think about it. I'm glad Mac turned me down. Maybe the offer was enough for now. I think if we'd had dinner, the atmosphere would have been uneasy at best. We need to do something where friends of ours are involved. When Bud and Harriet host their annual Christmas party that might be a good opportunity to forge a more lasting truce and really work on our friendship. Of course, if she brings Webb along all bets are off. When I think about Mattie, I wonder if that might be a good time to introduce her to everyone else at JAG, that is, if the courts give her to me. I've also expanded on the idea Mattie had about where she's going to live during the hearing. I'm wondering if she wouldn't mind moving here permanently. I picked up on the tone of her voice when we talked a few days ago. I'm guessing I'm not the only one who wishes her life wasn't entirely encompassed by her business. We could hire a manager for Grace Aviation if she didn't want to sell it outright. She could afford to hire one. Grace Aviation pays the bills, but if she didn't have that huge mortgage payment to make every month on her house, she'd actually be putting a decent sum of money in the bank. Her mother's life insurance policy hardly put a dent in that mortgage. Mattie could sell her house and live here with me. I'd probably have to sell off this place and buy something with two bedrooms near a good school, but it'd be worth it. To have her, almost anything would be.
"It's open." Sturgis pops in and looks around. I'm in the kitchen making dinner. "Hey stranger, when did you get back?"
"Around 1650, I didn't bother going into JAG."
"How was Seattle?"
Sturgis hangs up his coat and kicks off his shoes. "Wet, how can those people deal with all that rain?"
"How'd the case go?"
Sturgis shakes his head. "I should have been done a week ago. The defense council pulled some new evidence out of his ass at the last minute and it took me longer to beat him."
"Well at least you won."
Sturgis leans up against the island and cocks his head at me. "You lost a couple?"
"Nope, I've won four out of five." I whipped up on Bud twice last week after Sturgis left. Not to mention beating Mac in Yuma and again today. I shouldn't even be counting that damn baseball case. The Admiral took the easy side of that battle. For him it was a cake walk, I would have needed Petty Officer Crawford to confess to intentionally hitting Lt. Phelps in the head to have won. "So you've got the hot hand huh?"
I shrug indifferently, but he knows better. "Still isn't getting me out from under the pile of cases I'm buried in."
"Well maybe if you hadn't gone to the all-star baseball game in LA it wouldn't be a problem today. How was it by the way?"
I rub the bridge of my nose before answering. "Tiring, don't ever go to a baseball game with the Admiral. The man never shuts up. He guesses every pitch, telling me what they should or shouldn't throw. I know all the pitching habits and mechanics of all pitchers who played in that game. By the end of it I was ready to take a bat to his head if that's what it took to shut him up."
Sturgis doesn't appear to be too sympathetic to my cause. "Well why did you go in the first place? You could have said no." Yeah I could have, but I knew this was the Admiral's way of truly extending me the olive branch. I'd have been a fool to pass it up. I spent a day with mom and Frank while I was out there. It was nice spending time with them.
"I was part of his cover to get to there, besides if you were in my place would you have said no?"
Sturgis smiles, he knows I'm right. "No, I guess I wouldn't have either. So what are you making?"
"You want some?"
Sturgis grins. "Depends on what your making."
"Philly cheese steaks."
Now Sturgis pulls up a chair to sit down. "Hell ya I'm eating."
"Hey do you remember the Army-Navy game our junior year? We went out with... oh, what the hell was his name. He was our starting fullback."
Sturgis' face lights up in remembrance. "Yeah, Bill Holtz. We went to that Philly cheese steak restaurant, damn those were good."
"What ever happened to him? The last thing I remember he was on a cruiser in the Sea Hawk carrier group during the Gulf."
"He got out just after that." It not surprising I don't remember that. I don't remember anything about the vast majority of my friends during that period. I was too wrapped up in the immediate results of my ramp strike, my injuries, and my guilt to even care about them.
"So how's Mattie?" Neither one of us is making a move to clean up dinner.
"Good, good. I haven't seen her in a while, but we've called each other a couple times."
Sturgis downs the rest of his beer. "I did some thinking about this when I was out in Seattle and I should have asked you earlier. Have you given any thought as to where she's going to live?"
"I'm hoping here with me."
"Here, here?"
"No, I'd have to get a new place, but some where in the area."
"Do you think she'll be receptive to that?"
"I'm not positive, but I think she'll want to. She deserves the chance to just be a kid for a change. Oh, and in case I haven't thanked you recently, thanks for getting our court date moved up."
"It was nothing Harm."
"Yes it was. It could have been months away. You know how backlogged juvenile court can get." I don't want to know how much Mattie would've begun doubting me had it taken that long.
Sturgis stands and starts cleaning up and I join him. "So how are things at JAG?"
"Pretty much the same as you left it. Harriet's working on this massive U.S.O. event in Baghdad, Coates is planning the Admiral's wedding."
Sturgis winces, "How's that going?"
"I'm too busy to care, besides the amount of money I hear they're going to spend is ridiculous."
"Do you know what a two star makes these days? He can afford it. Besides she's a professor, she's got money to throw around too."
"Speaking of Coates if she asks you anything about Mattie, don't tell her anything."
Sturgis gives me a puzzled look. "Then why did you tell her in the first place?"
Starting the dishwasher, I turn around to see him wiping down the island. "I didn't, Mac and I went out to the Med and Mattie called JAG looking for me. Coates only knows her last name and she thinks Mattie's my girlfriend."
Sturgis stops and looks up from what he's doing, he's laughing, bastard. "How'd that go?"
I don't want to answer that. "How'd what go?"
"You and Mac in the Med."
"Difficult, and I really don't want to talk about."
"That bad huh? I thought you two were getting closer."
He better be talking about our friendship. "Excuse me?"
"Well aren't you working on your friendship or what?"
"Yeah, it's just, slow going." Sturgis doesn't respond to that as we finish cleaning up my kitchen. At least ten minutes pass before I reach the living room. "Hey, check it out." Sturgis joins me at the window to see that the snow is falling and it looks like we've gotten a half an inch so far with no sign of it letting up.
"I better go. My car's tolerance for snow is practically non-existent and we both know how this city's drivers react to it."
I walk him to the door. "Well thanks for stopping by."
"You going to be around this weekend?"
"No I'm going to head up to see Mattie. I think we're going to talk about that very issue of where she wants to live."
"Alright, have a good time."
I pat him on the back on his way out. "See you Monday Sturgis."
1350 ZULU
CATHERINE GALE'S APARTMENT
LANGLY, VIRGINIA
I couldn't stand it anymore I had to come. I don't like pressing her for an answer, but it's been a month. I think I'm getting a taste of Brumby went through with Mac. Although I imagine it must have a lot worse for him before she moved the ring over. I don't see her car out on the street, but there aren't many people out on the streets to begin with. The snow tapered off last night dumping two inches on us before it really started coming down this morning. Another two inches are on the ground with six more projected to follow. I'm hoping to talk to her before I make my way up to see Mattie. I'm about to open the door to Catherine's apartment when I see a woman struggling to get her bags out of a silver Chevy Suburban. My momma taught me better than to not offer my help in this case. "Excuse me, do you need a hand?" Its Catherine, she's spun around so fast that she dropped her bag in the process and shit! "Ohhh." Catherine would have dropped to the ice herself if I hadn't caught her and broke her fall as she dragged me down with her. At least she didn't land on her stomach or anything. Catherine lies there for a moment and pushes the hair out of her eyes, hair that's covered in lazy, fat snowflakes. She couldn't look more amazing if she tried.
She's right on top of me, her belly pressing into me. "Harm what are doing here?"
I give her a wane smile, God my head hurts. "Nice to see you too."
Catherine smiles back at me. "Anything broken?"
"Smacked my head against the curb." Felt like my teeth were going to rattle out of my head and eyes pop out. "You okay?"
"I'm okay." I manage to get up and help Catherine to her feet.
I grab three of the seven bags Catherine has in the back of her SUV. "What happened to the Beemer?"
"I got rid of it. With the baby and all..." Catherine trails off there, but there's no need to explain. Catherine holds the door open for me, but I have to insist she goes first. I don't want her falling down again. "You sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine." I stumbled up a few stairs so now I'm taking it slow. This is result of having too many concussions, every blow to the head knocks you around for a while longer than it normally should.
"You can set them down on the table." Catherine shrugs off her coat and begins sorting out the various items. It looks like she did some grocery and Christmas shopping. After I bring up the last three bags and set them down. I lean up against her kitchen wall, my head protesting sharply all the way.
Catherine makes short work of the last few bags as well. "What were you doing out in this weather?"
"I heard we were supposed to get a lot more snow so I wanted to stock up on the necessities before it got really bad outside and I was stuck in here." She looks away as she puts a box of oatmeal in her pantry. "Besides, I could ask you the same thing."
I think it's kinda obvious why I'm here, but I'll answer it anyway. "I wanted to see you."
"Harm..." Oh God, by the look in her eyes I can tell she still hasn't made up her mind yet. Has she given any thought to me at all? "Has your life changed at all since we last spoke?"
What kind of question is that? "Of course it has."
"How?"
This feels more like an interview than anything else. "I'm finally settling back into JAG. My petition to get custody of Mattie is coming together."
Catherine's eyebrows rise up a bit. "So you're still going through with that?"
"I told you I was, I don't need you to be my instant family." This feels like we're going in circles.
It's when I step away from the wall that I hear Catherine gasp. "Harm!" She's looking at the wall and when I turn back, I see the bright, crimson blood on the wall. Reaching back, I can feel my hair is wet and clumped together.
Pulling back my hand, its covered in blood. "Jesus." Catherine quickly helps me out of my coat. The back of it has some blood on it, but it appears that most of it absorbed right into my sweatshirt underneath it. I think it's a total loss. Once that's off, I can see that my gray Annapolis tee shirt survived the bloodletting. This shirt always survives. Catherine sticks my head under the showerhead and I watch with disbelief how much blood runs out of my hair.
"Sit down and don't move." Catherine rummages around in her cupboard, finally producing a first aid kit. She tries to stand behind me, but I won't allow it.
"Maybe if you weren't six months pregnant I'd let you stand behind me and do that. Find a chair and sit down."
Catherine takes the chair in front of me. "So how do you propose we do this while I'm sitting down?"
I'm going to ignore the sarcasm in her voice. "Like this." Leaning forward, I put my forehead lightly on top of her belly. This of course serves a dual purpose. She can take care of my head and I get to feel closer to her. I can feel her parting my hair to find the gash on my head. I can see her taking a piece of gauze out of her kit so I guess she found it. Then she parts more hair further down my head. "You have a piece of glass imbedded in the back of your head."
"Well pull it out."
Catherine sighs a bit. "Wait here." When she comes back she carrying an old, beat up towel. Taking a seat, she pulls my head towards her. She tilts my head to one side before pausing.
"Everything okay?"
"Shhh, let me concentrate on what I'm doing okay?" I can feel her pulling piece of glass out of my head and pressing that towel to the wound after she removes it. She hands the glass piece to me to see. Good lord, its about the size of a nickel, how didn't I feel that? After a few minutes, Catherine takes me back into the shower and rinses off my head again. Then we head back into the kitchen where she presses two new pieces of gauze to my head, one for each gash. We sit here like this for a long time. Catherine's holding the gauze in place with one hand and running her fingers through my hair with the other. I can't help but lean into her touch and sigh. Sometimes it really feels nice to be taken care of. "You're really getting into this aren't you?"
"I'm really getting into you." Catherine stops her hand and rests it on her thigh. I want to look up at her, but she won't let me. "I told you, I'm not going to start a relationship with anyone I can't see myself marrying."
"And Colonel MacKenzie?" Oh my God.
"There is no Mac and there never will be. Right now, with the way we fight, it's hard to even call her a good friend."
"And Mattie?" That's where I draw the line. No way am I giving her up.
"I still want Mattie, but I want to make you a big part of my life too. I..." Whoa, with my cheek against her belly I just felt a huge movement from her baby. Resisting the incredible urge to reach out and stroke that miracle in the making takes everything I've got and I think she knows it.
Her hand comes to rest on her belly near my cheek; I can smell the hand lotion she uses. "You feel that?"
"Yeah, from down here it was pretty damn incredible."
"Okay."
Now she's not strong enough to hold my head down. "Okay?" Don't jerk me around here Catherine.
She only nods. "Okay, lets give us a try." I don't say anything more except to pull her into my lap and hug her tightly. "Sorry if I'm a little heavier now."
"You're not heavy, you're beautiful." As Catherine leans back, I can see her wipe a tear from her eyes. "I'm sorry about the blood on the wall."
Catherine just gives me a watery, but luminous smile. "Well worth the result."
"How'd she take it?" Catherine moves in behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist, holding me close. I slip my cell into my pants pocket, wrap my arms around hers, and sigh.
"As well as could be expected." Which is to say, not well. I'm heading up there early tomorrow morning. Catherine refused to let me drive in these conditions especially since I cracked my head against the pavement. I'll bet we're getting all of those predicted 8 inches and then some. I've since then made us an early lunch and spent nearly a half an hour scrubbing the blood off the wall. She's awfully quiet and right now, it feels like she's completely leaning into me. "You okay back there?"
"Hmmm?" Catherine pushes herself back as she yawns. "Sorry, I'm feeling so drained lately."
"Why don't we get you to bed? A nap might perk you right up." Catherine nods her agreement and I lead the way to her bedroom.
Catherine smiles at me as I tuck her into bed. "Sorry I'm not a better host."
I smile back at her. "My pregnant girlfriend can fall asleep anytime she damn well wants to." To my own delight, she seems to glow in response. A quick kiss on her forehead and I leave her there to rest. Catherine doesn't have anything I think I'd enjoy reading so I'm currently studying the pictures in her hallway. One looks like her high school graduation picture with her family, her father included. He must have died while she was in law school because he's in her college graduation picture too, but not in the one of her law school graduation. There are several others of her with her family during what must be vacations or family gatherings of some nature. There are a couple of them of Catherine with her girlfriends too. I've got tons of photos like these at home, but I don't have the wall space to hang them all. I find my savior when I turn on the T.V. 'The Hunt for the Red October' is playing. Lowering the volume, I lay back on Catherine's couch and smile. I can't watch this film without thinking about Sturgis anymore. Alec Baldwin, was that really a year and half ago already?
"Hey wake up." Stirring I wake up to find Catherine whispering in my ear. The last thing I remember was watching Alec Baldwin being lowered like a worm on a hook to the U.S.S Dallas.
"What's going on?"
Catherine points to the window. "Look." The snow's stopped and the sun has poked through the clouds even though it's starting to set. "Do you want to go outside and get some fresh air?"
I respond with a lion sized yawn first. "Sure". Catherine only smiles. It only takes a moment to retrieve something suitable out of my SUV for wearing outside. Hand in hand, we make our way to a local park not far from where she lives. There's a few stray snowflakes still falling, enough to coat her nose and eyelashes. A few of my favorite things indeed. Looking around I see a lot of tracks that have been partially covered up with snow. It was probably a bunch of kids enjoying their new winter wonderland. When I turn back around, I see Catherine lying flat on her back. I don't know whether to damn myself for letting her fall or question her lack of coordination. "Are you okay?!"
Catherine looks up at me, and smiles. "Of course."
"What are you doing?"
"Making a snow angel." And she's loving it; I've rarely seen a grown adult woman doing something like this before.
"Why?"
"Because its fun and I've been making them every year since I was a kid."
"Looks kinda silly from up here."
Her facial expression just oozes self-assurance. "You want to make one too, you just don't want to admit it."
I shrug indifferently, I've made them before, and I'll probably end up making one here, I just want to at least put up a token protest. "I was always more into snowball fights."
"Well since I'm in no condition to do that, you'll have to make snow angels with me." I can feel the snow working its way between my jacket and my pants, but I keep on making my angel. Eventually, I'm going to have to learn how to tell this woman no, but not today. Turning my head, I can see the full moon rising above the snow-laden branches of the trees lining the pond nearby. It's going to be a clear and cold night.
"I'm getting wet." The snow simply can't be ignored forever.
"Okay, lets go home." I like the sound of that. Getting up, I brush off all the snow from my pants and jacket and looking at Catherine I think she's just discovered that her body's new shape won't allow her to get up without wreaking her angel. "A little help." I shouldn't be laughing, but I can't help a small one. Grasping both of her hands, I pull her up quickly and spare the angel. We're almost out of the park when she starts talking to me again. I guess the emotions of pregnant woman aren't something to play around with. "What does Mattie think about me?"
I wasn't expecting this. "Um, well she doesn't know a whole lot about you. She knows that I was very interested in you, but we weren't seeing each other. Why do you ask?"
"Well eventually I'm going to meet her."
"Did you want to come up with me?"
She only shakes her head. "No you go ahead, there'll be plenty of time for that later on. So what does everyone at JAG think about her?"
"They don't know about her yet. The Admiral met her when she was still my boss, and Jennifer Coates thinks she's my girlfriend, but other than Sturgis no one knows the truth."
"Why aren't you telling them?" Good question. "I thought you'd have at least told Colonel MacKenzie."
"I could have, but I don't want to deal with the hassle. Mac would just spout off something about how expensive it is to raise a child or how hard it is or something else that would just undermine my confidence." That's part of the reason I made her wait outside my door two weeks ago. Mattie's potential matchmaking ability was the other. I didn't want to put that to the test. "The Admiral would be more of the same and I know for a fact he can't stand her. I could tell Bud and Harriet, but they'd never tell me what they were really thinking. Sturgis on the other hand has been a big help already and he's been supportive. Plus Mattie likes him." We walk in silence until we reach the door of her apartment. "Hold up a sec." Walking over to where I think I fell and brush away a few inches of snow to find the crystallized blood on the concrete and additional pieces of an Absolute vodka bottle next to it. I had to know if I was bleeding the whole time or not. "What do you feel like for desert?"
"You're giving me the choice?"
I stand up and walk back over to her. "You're the one who's pregnant."
It only takes Catherine a moment to decide. "Cheese cake, cheese cake with cherry pie filling on top. Oh, walnuts and whipped cream too."
Now that's a detailed request for such a short time. "Anything else?"
"Yeah, drive safe. I'll have the spaghetti well under way before you get back." Pulling her close I indulge in one long, slow kiss before I head to my car.
1346 ZULU
MATTIE GRACE'S RESIDENCE
BLACKSBERG, VIRGINIA
"You made it!" Mattie has me in hug before I even got close to the door.
"Of course I made it."
"I just thought with you being at Ms. Gales' house that..."
"Mattie." My tone's enough to warn her that she's doing it again. "Do you need to see the gashes in my head?"
"I'm sorry Harm, it's just hard for me..."
"To count on others?" I finish for her.
"Yeah."
I'm going to change that. "It's okay. Old habits die hard, I know." I follow Mattie inside the house and drop my bag on the foyer floor. "Did you finish dusting all the fields in time?"
"Barely, there was a half an inch of snow on the ground when the last plane landed yesterday. The storm took its time to reach us, thank God."
"So what now?"
"Not a whole lot. We'll go over all the equipment and make any needed repairs then we close up for the winter. I'll spend those months talking to farmers; trying to get new clients. The rest is all updating our paperwork, buying new equipment if need be, and recruiting new pilots if it looks like some of the guys are going to quit." No one should have to deal with this kind of responsibility at her age. "Did you eat breakfast yet?"
"I wanted to get a jump start getting here so I skipped it."
Mattie just laughs at me. "This from the guy who gave me a lecture about breakfast being the most important meal of the day."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah; the one and the same. Did you eat breakfast yet?"
"No."
"Well people who live in glass houses..." Mattie tosses an apple at me from her countertop, which I easily catch.
"I'll make breakfast."
"What are you making?"
"French toast, its my favorite." Then her voice saddens and nearly breaks my heart, "My mom taught me how to make it."
I set down the apple and lift her chin with a finger. "And that's the part of your mom you'll never lose. Those memories are what keeps your mom alive."
"You think so?"
"Of course I do. You know when I was showing you the Tomcats?"
"Yeah."
"My dad did that with me when I was five. I barely knew my father, but I've never forgotten that moment." Mattie looks at me with this wide-eyed expression on her face. I think she's coming around to the realization that I see her as a daughter and nothing less.
Her lip trembles, but she doesn't cry. "I don't think I'll ever forget it either." Mattie turns towards her fridge and pulls out milk, eggs, and the syrup she needs for the French toast. I wish Catherine could have seen this. Then again, it took Mattie a while to open up to me. If she'd been here maybe we wouldn't have had this wonderful moment... or maybe it would have been even better I don't know. I imagine it'll take some time for her to warm up to Catherine.
"So how is Catherine?"
I can't help the smile that's coming to my face. "She's fine."
"She's obviously more than just that to you."
"We worked things out yesterday."
Mattie pushes aside her empty plate and leans her elbows on the table. "So you're dating now?"
"Yup."
"And she's pregnant?"
"Six months."
"Yours?"
How do I answer that? "She says it's not mine."
Mattie notices that instantly. "But you don't believe her." She is entirely too smart for her own good.
"Lets just say I'll have a paternity test done if the baby looks a little too much like me."
"Do you wish it was?"
This is a dangerous question to answer, but I will because she deserves the truth. "Yes, but I'm not dating her because I think the baby might be mine or not, I just want her in my life." Mattie doesn't say anything, but I can see the doubt filling up her mind again. "Mattie, I want you in my life too, there's nothing out there that's going to change that okay?"
"I just thought..."
"What? That if I eventually had a wife and a child of my own I wouldn't absolutely need you in my life. Sorry, I'm way beyond that point already." Mattie allows herself a small smile that I assume wasn't meant for me, rather her. If that gave her the security, she needs then I did what I set out to do. "Speaking of which, that question you asked on Friday? Where would you like to live Mattie?"
"You mean during the hearing?"
"No I mean permanently. Cause if you want to stay here that's fine. If you'd like to live with me we'd probably move to different area than where I am now, but we'd still have a place to come home to at night."
"Am I even going to have a choice in the matter? Won't the courts say that I have to stay with you?"
"Maybe for a while. If I permit it, I think you're allowed to be on your own when you're 16. Provided I know where you are at all times of course."
"What about Grace Aviation? My house?"
Time to be a lawyer and discuss options. "Okay, just hear me out on this. The business and the house are your assets, and they will always remain that way. We've got a couple of different paths to chose from. One, you move in with me, we sell off your house and your business, and put all the money in the bank under your name." Mattie looks stunned that I'd consider selling her family's legacy. "That's just an option Mattie, everything is completely up to you. Secondly, you move in with me, we keep your business and hire a manager to run it for you."
"Harm I can't hire a manager. The money is always tight."
"We could if we sold off your house. If you didn't have to make the mortgage payment on this place, you could hire a manager and still put money in the bank. Actually, even more so, cause you wouldn't have to pay for food or any of the other stuff I'd already be taking care of." Mattie appears to be considering that option. I'll bet this house hasn't been a home to her since her mother died. "Lastly, you move in with me until you're 16 and then you can move back here, but I still insist upon school."
"What about Grace Aviation while I was gone?"
Please tell me she's not seriously thinking about this option. "We'd have to hire a manager or you could try to run it from here. Realistically you'd only be missing about six months right? March through May, and September through November?"
"Yeah that sounds about right."
"After that you'd be 16 and could be there everyday after school."
"I don't have to make a choice right now do I?"
"No, you've got a lot of time before you have to make that decision."
Mattie thundering down the stairs makes a racket like you can't imagine. Well maybe mom could, I seem to remember her yelling at me for doing it often enough. I'm on the couch watching the Redskins game. They're ahead, but I still think Spurrier should have stayed at Florida. Mattie wraps her arms around my neck from behind.
"How are they doing?"
"They're winning." Mattie parts my hair a bit; I know what she's doing. "A little further down and to the right."
Mattie follows my direction and finds one of them. A little more searching reveals the other. Mattie leans in and gives them a kiss. "All better?"
I can feel the flush in my cheeks. "Yeah, all better." This girl is amazing. Mattie's arms move back around my neck as we watch the game for a while. Eventually she starts sliding her hands along my face, lightly pinching my cheeks, and giggling to herself.
"What's so funny?"
"You've got whiskers. I've never seen you with them before." I haven't shaved since Thursday morning. Three days of growth have given me a more rugged, outdoors look. This is invoking another memory of my father. Mattie gives off this wonderfully, girlish squeal as I whip around and drag her over the top of the couch.
Pinning her on the couch, I hold her there, rubbing my cheeks against hers. "Whisker rub, whisker rub."
"Harm! Stop it! Stop!" She's laughing so hard I know she doesn't mean it. Eventually, I get off her and she sits up, rubbing her cheeks. "What was that?!"
"I told you, it was a whisker rub. My dad used to give them to me all the time." Yeah they left your cheek a little raw, but they were great for father/son bonding. I can't imagine why it wouldn't work for father/daughter bonding as well.
The look in her eyes can only be described as mischievous. "If I knew you weren't going to start bleeding from those cuts on your head, I'd give you one of my uncle's old fashioned Dutch rubs."
"What no Indian burns? I always took you more for an Indian burn girl."
"That can be arranged." Mattie slides up next to me, warily I might add, especially when I smile at her. Eventually she settles into my shoulder and I wrap my right arm around her shoulders as we watch the Redskins beat up on the Cowboys who are doing far better this season than I'd anticipated. "When do you have to go?"
"In about two hours, we can still have supper together."
"I'd like that."
"What do you feel like having?"
"Something simple, grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup."
"That sounds good." Its halfway through the fourth quarter, Mattie's resting her head on my chest as I hold her close and there's nowhere else I'd rather be.
1331 ZULU JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
"Good morning sir. How was your weekend?" I didn't even make it to my office before Jen intercepted me in the bullpen.
"Great, how was yours?
Jen tilts her head, contemplating my wide smile and I'm sure my excessively cheerful attitude. "Can't complain."
"Good, I'll see you around then." Grabbing my mail, I head to my office. That was truly a weekend to remember.
I can hear Jen rushing to catch up to me, and slowing down to walk with me. "Sir, I take it your relationship with Ms. Grace has improved?"
As we walk, I look over at her with my biggest smile. "Jen, it was never bad. The others are just clicking into place." This leaves her standing in the middle of the bullpen speechless as I continue on to my office wearing a smile. It's going to be a great week
2028 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
I should be working, but I'm not. I'm leaning up against the wall just outside of the door to the bullpen watching Jen. After I patched the latest hole in the tattered fabric that is my friendship with Mac, I came out here to watch her. By the way she was goading me back there, if I didn't know better I'd say she and Mattie talked about a lot more than my location this past weekend. Its not that I'm against being married, if I could find out what it is about me that's holding Catherine back I'd certainly think about giving it a go with her. Not right now of course, but in time. No, what I'm against the entire notion of these enormous weddings people throw. I just don't see the appeal of starting your new life with someone under a mountain of debt that landed on you for the enjoyment of one day. Obviously, my parents could and probably would pay for any wedding my future wife wanted and still live in the lap of luxury for the rest of their lives, but I'd be just as happy running off to Vegas. I'm not interested in the wedding; I'm interested in the woman beside me. Jen eventually makes her way to her own desk after being sent away by Harriet who by the looks of things is not having a good day. I can't believe she decided to take that U.S.O tour event on her shoulders. Once I'm in my own office, which is thankfully rat-free now, I begin thinking about Petty Officer Ferrier and how to work her testimony in my favor. Mac didn't give my client the benefit of the doubt; she was looking for another way to bury him and in doing so she realized that she might have made a mistake. That's the nice thing about defending; I get to see all the cards Mac's holding. The whole woman scorned bit was harsh, granted not as much as my comments were about her in court, but I don't recall her apologizing for it either. Of course, she could have meant it as a threat too, but that doesn't seem likely. So now, we're right back to what I said about her a month ago in my apartment. She thinks overcoming her alcoholism gives her the right to judge other people. I have no idea why that irritates the hell out of me like it does. Our truce is only good until the next time we find something to fight about. Hell, this court martial isn't even over yet, there's plenty of time to fight about this again too.
2141 ZULU
JAG HEADQUARTERS
FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
TWO DAYS LATER
This case was a much bigger headache than it needed to be. Petty Officer Ferrier did the right thing and I got the charges dropped. I'm sure Petty Officer Yates' CO will give him some sort of non-judicial punishment. The other nice thing about defending is that when a case is dropped like this its a lot more paper work for Mac than it is for me. Our truce is still intact, but I'm not holding my breath. We're still too capable of resorting to petty fighting at the drop of a hat. What we need to do is find some kind of safe neutral ground. Of course that kind of real estate has been hard to come by recently. It's hard to find safe topics to talk about that aren't completely pointless drivel. Talking about the latest movie we saw isn't what I consider intelligent conversation. We can't talk about any kind of relationship anymore. It used to be that we just couldn't talk about ours, but now everyone else's are off limits as well. Every conversation we've tried, they all seem to find a way back to ours. Work is out of the question too; we've dragged enough of our own personal baggage into it that we end up ducking insults. I can't tell if she's madder that I won't tell her what I was doing with the CIA, or that I didn't keep in touch during that time. I don't know what she really expects me to tell her. Most everything I was involved was way above anything she has clearance for anyway. There's no way I could ever tell her some of the things I did and she should know better than to even ask. Hell, dating Webb should have taught her that. Although, some of the things I did, I don't want her to know about either. Libya and the Philippines weren't the only places Beth and I had to land in and do some actual ground fighting. Both times, it got pretty bloody and I took more lives than I care to admit. Then there were the tactical strikes I made on my own. I never asked why, and they never said, they just handed me a target package and sent me on my way. Sometimes it was a preordained target and other times a team on the ground painted a target while I waited on standby. Columbia, Panama, the Sinai Peninsula, Bosnia, the list goes on. Most of those strikes were made flying Stealth fighters. Not once did I get up in a Tomcat. I did fly a F/A-22 Raptor on occasion, especially when I needed the speed as well as stealth. My missions in Iran and China are excellent examples of that. That was a sweet ride despite the fact that the zoomies are the only ones who get them. Bet it couldn't take a carrier landing though. Regardless of what happened, or what I did, I'll never call the CIA the dark side again. They do an important job over there and for a time it was the only way for me to serve my country, and to be honest most of the time I actually enjoyed my job. If they were to offer me my job back, its never going to happen of course, but if they did. I'd be hard pressed to say no, especially with the fifteen Imes cases and other stacks of miscellaneous files I have left to go through.
"No I'm serious, you picked the perfect time to call." The look on Mac's face was priceless when Mattie called. I know she was thinking it was either Catherine or some other blonde. Catherine isn't some blond, and I only wish she'd called me.
"How's that?" Hmmm, how do I say, 'you saving me from looking like a loser with nothing in his life, but work in front of Mac.' without saying it?
"I just got done with work and I wasn't in my car yet."
"And that makes it perfect?"
Time to lay it on thick. "No, it's perfect because you called." I am happy that she called. Unfortunately, I haven't seen her in over a week and calling is the best we could do during that time. I was all set to head up to Blacksberg last Friday when the Admiral ordered me out to the Gilcrist.
"Um, I was wondering about this weekend."
"If you've got a hot date the answer is 'No you can't stay out past ten.'" I can hear Mattie's amused snort on the other end followed by a small laugh.
"I don't think that's going to be a problem."
Pushing the elevator button, I can see Bud and Harriet coming this way. "Look unless I'm told otherwise by your favorite mean, old man I'm coming up this weekend okay?" I'm not going to be able to continue this here, so I head down the stairs instead trying to have this conversation with them in the elevator with me.
"I'm not going to be able to take this Saturday off Harm, the end of our season's approaching. We've got too much to do."
"That's fine I can find a place to stay up there."
"It's called my house, I've even got a spare bed for you to use."
"Your hospitality is simply overwhelming me."
"Yeah I'm a regular southern belle."
The stair well is empty so I'll remain in here for a while. At least until I'm sure Bud and Harriet have past through. "So whatcha doing?"
"Well I just finished changing my truck's left front tire. Rim was rusted right to the lugs. I had to kick it to get it off."
"Are you at home?"
"Just headed that way."
"What's for dinner?" If its pizza, I'm going to reach through this phone and strangle her.
"Macaroni and Cheese."
Oh, come on. "Mattie..."
"Harm I'm too tired to make something else up. I just want to eat, shower and go to bed. Be glad its not pizza."
Okay so she's making an effort. "It was that rough today?"
I can hear her sigh into the phone. "No, not really. I'm sure if I take a long, hot bath my attitude will improve."
"I'm sure you'll feel better. So what's the matter?"
"When are you coming up this weekend? She's avoiding my question, but I'll let it go for now.
"Not until Saturday afternoon. I've got a few thing I want to do first before I leave."
"Okay, I've got another question about our case."
"Shoot."
"When we go to court, do I have to stay with you during that time or what?"
I didn't think about that at all. "You know what? That's an excellent question, I have no idea."
"And you're a good lawyer?" I can hear her smile.
"Okay smarty pants, we'll see how much fun you're having when I'm doing all the flying in Sarah next time."
I can definitely hear her gasp at the thought. "You wouldn't."
I'm laughing, so I know, she knows I'm kidding. "Oh you better believe I would." Okay so her punishment would only last about ten minutes. It's the thought that counts right? "Drive home safe okay?"
"I will. I miss you Harm."
"Me, too. Call me if you need anything." Mattie hangs up and I make my way to my own car.
2326 ZULU
COMMANDER RABB'S APARTMENT
NORTH OF UNION STATION, VIRGINIA
You know when I think about it. I'm glad Mac turned me down. Maybe the offer was enough for now. I think if we'd had dinner, the atmosphere would have been uneasy at best. We need to do something where friends of ours are involved. When Bud and Harriet host their annual Christmas party that might be a good opportunity to forge a more lasting truce and really work on our friendship. Of course, if she brings Webb along all bets are off. When I think about Mattie, I wonder if that might be a good time to introduce her to everyone else at JAG, that is, if the courts give her to me. I've also expanded on the idea Mattie had about where she's going to live during the hearing. I'm wondering if she wouldn't mind moving here permanently. I picked up on the tone of her voice when we talked a few days ago. I'm guessing I'm not the only one who wishes her life wasn't entirely encompassed by her business. We could hire a manager for Grace Aviation if she didn't want to sell it outright. She could afford to hire one. Grace Aviation pays the bills, but if she didn't have that huge mortgage payment to make every month on her house, she'd actually be putting a decent sum of money in the bank. Her mother's life insurance policy hardly put a dent in that mortgage. Mattie could sell her house and live here with me. I'd probably have to sell off this place and buy something with two bedrooms near a good school, but it'd be worth it. To have her, almost anything would be.
"It's open." Sturgis pops in and looks around. I'm in the kitchen making dinner. "Hey stranger, when did you get back?"
"Around 1650, I didn't bother going into JAG."
"How was Seattle?"
Sturgis hangs up his coat and kicks off his shoes. "Wet, how can those people deal with all that rain?"
"How'd the case go?"
Sturgis shakes his head. "I should have been done a week ago. The defense council pulled some new evidence out of his ass at the last minute and it took me longer to beat him."
"Well at least you won."
Sturgis leans up against the island and cocks his head at me. "You lost a couple?"
"Nope, I've won four out of five." I whipped up on Bud twice last week after Sturgis left. Not to mention beating Mac in Yuma and again today. I shouldn't even be counting that damn baseball case. The Admiral took the easy side of that battle. For him it was a cake walk, I would have needed Petty Officer Crawford to confess to intentionally hitting Lt. Phelps in the head to have won. "So you've got the hot hand huh?"
I shrug indifferently, but he knows better. "Still isn't getting me out from under the pile of cases I'm buried in."
"Well maybe if you hadn't gone to the all-star baseball game in LA it wouldn't be a problem today. How was it by the way?"
I rub the bridge of my nose before answering. "Tiring, don't ever go to a baseball game with the Admiral. The man never shuts up. He guesses every pitch, telling me what they should or shouldn't throw. I know all the pitching habits and mechanics of all pitchers who played in that game. By the end of it I was ready to take a bat to his head if that's what it took to shut him up."
Sturgis doesn't appear to be too sympathetic to my cause. "Well why did you go in the first place? You could have said no." Yeah I could have, but I knew this was the Admiral's way of truly extending me the olive branch. I'd have been a fool to pass it up. I spent a day with mom and Frank while I was out there. It was nice spending time with them.
"I was part of his cover to get to there, besides if you were in my place would you have said no?"
Sturgis smiles, he knows I'm right. "No, I guess I wouldn't have either. So what are you making?"
"You want some?"
Sturgis grins. "Depends on what your making."
"Philly cheese steaks."
Now Sturgis pulls up a chair to sit down. "Hell ya I'm eating."
"Hey do you remember the Army-Navy game our junior year? We went out with... oh, what the hell was his name. He was our starting fullback."
Sturgis' face lights up in remembrance. "Yeah, Bill Holtz. We went to that Philly cheese steak restaurant, damn those were good."
"What ever happened to him? The last thing I remember he was on a cruiser in the Sea Hawk carrier group during the Gulf."
"He got out just after that." It not surprising I don't remember that. I don't remember anything about the vast majority of my friends during that period. I was too wrapped up in the immediate results of my ramp strike, my injuries, and my guilt to even care about them.
"So how's Mattie?" Neither one of us is making a move to clean up dinner.
"Good, good. I haven't seen her in a while, but we've called each other a couple times."
Sturgis downs the rest of his beer. "I did some thinking about this when I was out in Seattle and I should have asked you earlier. Have you given any thought as to where she's going to live?"
"I'm hoping here with me."
"Here, here?"
"No, I'd have to get a new place, but some where in the area."
"Do you think she'll be receptive to that?"
"I'm not positive, but I think she'll want to. She deserves the chance to just be a kid for a change. Oh, and in case I haven't thanked you recently, thanks for getting our court date moved up."
"It was nothing Harm."
"Yes it was. It could have been months away. You know how backlogged juvenile court can get." I don't want to know how much Mattie would've begun doubting me had it taken that long.
Sturgis stands and starts cleaning up and I join him. "So how are things at JAG?"
"Pretty much the same as you left it. Harriet's working on this massive U.S.O. event in Baghdad, Coates is planning the Admiral's wedding."
Sturgis winces, "How's that going?"
"I'm too busy to care, besides the amount of money I hear they're going to spend is ridiculous."
"Do you know what a two star makes these days? He can afford it. Besides she's a professor, she's got money to throw around too."
"Speaking of Coates if she asks you anything about Mattie, don't tell her anything."
Sturgis gives me a puzzled look. "Then why did you tell her in the first place?"
Starting the dishwasher, I turn around to see him wiping down the island. "I didn't, Mac and I went out to the Med and Mattie called JAG looking for me. Coates only knows her last name and she thinks Mattie's my girlfriend."
Sturgis stops and looks up from what he's doing, he's laughing, bastard. "How'd that go?"
I don't want to answer that. "How'd what go?"
"You and Mac in the Med."
"Difficult, and I really don't want to talk about."
"That bad huh? I thought you two were getting closer."
He better be talking about our friendship. "Excuse me?"
"Well aren't you working on your friendship or what?"
"Yeah, it's just, slow going." Sturgis doesn't respond to that as we finish cleaning up my kitchen. At least ten minutes pass before I reach the living room. "Hey, check it out." Sturgis joins me at the window to see that the snow is falling and it looks like we've gotten a half an inch so far with no sign of it letting up.
"I better go. My car's tolerance for snow is practically non-existent and we both know how this city's drivers react to it."
I walk him to the door. "Well thanks for stopping by."
"You going to be around this weekend?"
"No I'm going to head up to see Mattie. I think we're going to talk about that very issue of where she wants to live."
"Alright, have a good time."
I pat him on the back on his way out. "See you Monday Sturgis."
1350 ZULU
CATHERINE GALE'S APARTMENT
LANGLY, VIRGINIA
I couldn't stand it anymore I had to come. I don't like pressing her for an answer, but it's been a month. I think I'm getting a taste of Brumby went through with Mac. Although I imagine it must have a lot worse for him before she moved the ring over. I don't see her car out on the street, but there aren't many people out on the streets to begin with. The snow tapered off last night dumping two inches on us before it really started coming down this morning. Another two inches are on the ground with six more projected to follow. I'm hoping to talk to her before I make my way up to see Mattie. I'm about to open the door to Catherine's apartment when I see a woman struggling to get her bags out of a silver Chevy Suburban. My momma taught me better than to not offer my help in this case. "Excuse me, do you need a hand?" Its Catherine, she's spun around so fast that she dropped her bag in the process and shit! "Ohhh." Catherine would have dropped to the ice herself if I hadn't caught her and broke her fall as she dragged me down with her. At least she didn't land on her stomach or anything. Catherine lies there for a moment and pushes the hair out of her eyes, hair that's covered in lazy, fat snowflakes. She couldn't look more amazing if she tried.
She's right on top of me, her belly pressing into me. "Harm what are doing here?"
I give her a wane smile, God my head hurts. "Nice to see you too."
Catherine smiles back at me. "Anything broken?"
"Smacked my head against the curb." Felt like my teeth were going to rattle out of my head and eyes pop out. "You okay?"
"I'm okay." I manage to get up and help Catherine to her feet.
I grab three of the seven bags Catherine has in the back of her SUV. "What happened to the Beemer?"
"I got rid of it. With the baby and all..." Catherine trails off there, but there's no need to explain. Catherine holds the door open for me, but I have to insist she goes first. I don't want her falling down again. "You sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine." I stumbled up a few stairs so now I'm taking it slow. This is result of having too many concussions, every blow to the head knocks you around for a while longer than it normally should.
"You can set them down on the table." Catherine shrugs off her coat and begins sorting out the various items. It looks like she did some grocery and Christmas shopping. After I bring up the last three bags and set them down. I lean up against her kitchen wall, my head protesting sharply all the way.
Catherine makes short work of the last few bags as well. "What were you doing out in this weather?"
"I heard we were supposed to get a lot more snow so I wanted to stock up on the necessities before it got really bad outside and I was stuck in here." She looks away as she puts a box of oatmeal in her pantry. "Besides, I could ask you the same thing."
I think it's kinda obvious why I'm here, but I'll answer it anyway. "I wanted to see you."
"Harm..." Oh God, by the look in her eyes I can tell she still hasn't made up her mind yet. Has she given any thought to me at all? "Has your life changed at all since we last spoke?"
What kind of question is that? "Of course it has."
"How?"
This feels more like an interview than anything else. "I'm finally settling back into JAG. My petition to get custody of Mattie is coming together."
Catherine's eyebrows rise up a bit. "So you're still going through with that?"
"I told you I was, I don't need you to be my instant family." This feels like we're going in circles.
It's when I step away from the wall that I hear Catherine gasp. "Harm!" She's looking at the wall and when I turn back, I see the bright, crimson blood on the wall. Reaching back, I can feel my hair is wet and clumped together.
Pulling back my hand, its covered in blood. "Jesus." Catherine quickly helps me out of my coat. The back of it has some blood on it, but it appears that most of it absorbed right into my sweatshirt underneath it. I think it's a total loss. Once that's off, I can see that my gray Annapolis tee shirt survived the bloodletting. This shirt always survives. Catherine sticks my head under the showerhead and I watch with disbelief how much blood runs out of my hair.
"Sit down and don't move." Catherine rummages around in her cupboard, finally producing a first aid kit. She tries to stand behind me, but I won't allow it.
"Maybe if you weren't six months pregnant I'd let you stand behind me and do that. Find a chair and sit down."
Catherine takes the chair in front of me. "So how do you propose we do this while I'm sitting down?"
I'm going to ignore the sarcasm in her voice. "Like this." Leaning forward, I put my forehead lightly on top of her belly. This of course serves a dual purpose. She can take care of my head and I get to feel closer to her. I can feel her parting my hair to find the gash on my head. I can see her taking a piece of gauze out of her kit so I guess she found it. Then she parts more hair further down my head. "You have a piece of glass imbedded in the back of your head."
"Well pull it out."
Catherine sighs a bit. "Wait here." When she comes back she carrying an old, beat up towel. Taking a seat, she pulls my head towards her. She tilts my head to one side before pausing.
"Everything okay?"
"Shhh, let me concentrate on what I'm doing okay?" I can feel her pulling piece of glass out of my head and pressing that towel to the wound after she removes it. She hands the glass piece to me to see. Good lord, its about the size of a nickel, how didn't I feel that? After a few minutes, Catherine takes me back into the shower and rinses off my head again. Then we head back into the kitchen where she presses two new pieces of gauze to my head, one for each gash. We sit here like this for a long time. Catherine's holding the gauze in place with one hand and running her fingers through my hair with the other. I can't help but lean into her touch and sigh. Sometimes it really feels nice to be taken care of. "You're really getting into this aren't you?"
"I'm really getting into you." Catherine stops her hand and rests it on her thigh. I want to look up at her, but she won't let me. "I told you, I'm not going to start a relationship with anyone I can't see myself marrying."
"And Colonel MacKenzie?" Oh my God.
"There is no Mac and there never will be. Right now, with the way we fight, it's hard to even call her a good friend."
"And Mattie?" That's where I draw the line. No way am I giving her up.
"I still want Mattie, but I want to make you a big part of my life too. I..." Whoa, with my cheek against her belly I just felt a huge movement from her baby. Resisting the incredible urge to reach out and stroke that miracle in the making takes everything I've got and I think she knows it.
Her hand comes to rest on her belly near my cheek; I can smell the hand lotion she uses. "You feel that?"
"Yeah, from down here it was pretty damn incredible."
"Okay."
Now she's not strong enough to hold my head down. "Okay?" Don't jerk me around here Catherine.
She only nods. "Okay, lets give us a try." I don't say anything more except to pull her into my lap and hug her tightly. "Sorry if I'm a little heavier now."
"You're not heavy, you're beautiful." As Catherine leans back, I can see her wipe a tear from her eyes. "I'm sorry about the blood on the wall."
Catherine just gives me a watery, but luminous smile. "Well worth the result."
"How'd she take it?" Catherine moves in behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist, holding me close. I slip my cell into my pants pocket, wrap my arms around hers, and sigh.
"As well as could be expected." Which is to say, not well. I'm heading up there early tomorrow morning. Catherine refused to let me drive in these conditions especially since I cracked my head against the pavement. I'll bet we're getting all of those predicted 8 inches and then some. I've since then made us an early lunch and spent nearly a half an hour scrubbing the blood off the wall. She's awfully quiet and right now, it feels like she's completely leaning into me. "You okay back there?"
"Hmmm?" Catherine pushes herself back as she yawns. "Sorry, I'm feeling so drained lately."
"Why don't we get you to bed? A nap might perk you right up." Catherine nods her agreement and I lead the way to her bedroom.
Catherine smiles at me as I tuck her into bed. "Sorry I'm not a better host."
I smile back at her. "My pregnant girlfriend can fall asleep anytime she damn well wants to." To my own delight, she seems to glow in response. A quick kiss on her forehead and I leave her there to rest. Catherine doesn't have anything I think I'd enjoy reading so I'm currently studying the pictures in her hallway. One looks like her high school graduation picture with her family, her father included. He must have died while she was in law school because he's in her college graduation picture too, but not in the one of her law school graduation. There are several others of her with her family during what must be vacations or family gatherings of some nature. There are a couple of them of Catherine with her girlfriends too. I've got tons of photos like these at home, but I don't have the wall space to hang them all. I find my savior when I turn on the T.V. 'The Hunt for the Red October' is playing. Lowering the volume, I lay back on Catherine's couch and smile. I can't watch this film without thinking about Sturgis anymore. Alec Baldwin, was that really a year and half ago already?
"Hey wake up." Stirring I wake up to find Catherine whispering in my ear. The last thing I remember was watching Alec Baldwin being lowered like a worm on a hook to the U.S.S Dallas.
"What's going on?"
Catherine points to the window. "Look." The snow's stopped and the sun has poked through the clouds even though it's starting to set. "Do you want to go outside and get some fresh air?"
I respond with a lion sized yawn first. "Sure". Catherine only smiles. It only takes a moment to retrieve something suitable out of my SUV for wearing outside. Hand in hand, we make our way to a local park not far from where she lives. There's a few stray snowflakes still falling, enough to coat her nose and eyelashes. A few of my favorite things indeed. Looking around I see a lot of tracks that have been partially covered up with snow. It was probably a bunch of kids enjoying their new winter wonderland. When I turn back around, I see Catherine lying flat on her back. I don't know whether to damn myself for letting her fall or question her lack of coordination. "Are you okay?!"
Catherine looks up at me, and smiles. "Of course."
"What are you doing?"
"Making a snow angel." And she's loving it; I've rarely seen a grown adult woman doing something like this before.
"Why?"
"Because its fun and I've been making them every year since I was a kid."
"Looks kinda silly from up here."
Her facial expression just oozes self-assurance. "You want to make one too, you just don't want to admit it."
I shrug indifferently, I've made them before, and I'll probably end up making one here, I just want to at least put up a token protest. "I was always more into snowball fights."
"Well since I'm in no condition to do that, you'll have to make snow angels with me." I can feel the snow working its way between my jacket and my pants, but I keep on making my angel. Eventually, I'm going to have to learn how to tell this woman no, but not today. Turning my head, I can see the full moon rising above the snow-laden branches of the trees lining the pond nearby. It's going to be a clear and cold night.
"I'm getting wet." The snow simply can't be ignored forever.
"Okay, lets go home." I like the sound of that. Getting up, I brush off all the snow from my pants and jacket and looking at Catherine I think she's just discovered that her body's new shape won't allow her to get up without wreaking her angel. "A little help." I shouldn't be laughing, but I can't help a small one. Grasping both of her hands, I pull her up quickly and spare the angel. We're almost out of the park when she starts talking to me again. I guess the emotions of pregnant woman aren't something to play around with. "What does Mattie think about me?"
I wasn't expecting this. "Um, well she doesn't know a whole lot about you. She knows that I was very interested in you, but we weren't seeing each other. Why do you ask?"
"Well eventually I'm going to meet her."
"Did you want to come up with me?"
She only shakes her head. "No you go ahead, there'll be plenty of time for that later on. So what does everyone at JAG think about her?"
"They don't know about her yet. The Admiral met her when she was still my boss, and Jennifer Coates thinks she's my girlfriend, but other than Sturgis no one knows the truth."
"Why aren't you telling them?" Good question. "I thought you'd have at least told Colonel MacKenzie."
"I could have, but I don't want to deal with the hassle. Mac would just spout off something about how expensive it is to raise a child or how hard it is or something else that would just undermine my confidence." That's part of the reason I made her wait outside my door two weeks ago. Mattie's potential matchmaking ability was the other. I didn't want to put that to the test. "The Admiral would be more of the same and I know for a fact he can't stand her. I could tell Bud and Harriet, but they'd never tell me what they were really thinking. Sturgis on the other hand has been a big help already and he's been supportive. Plus Mattie likes him." We walk in silence until we reach the door of her apartment. "Hold up a sec." Walking over to where I think I fell and brush away a few inches of snow to find the crystallized blood on the concrete and additional pieces of an Absolute vodka bottle next to it. I had to know if I was bleeding the whole time or not. "What do you feel like for desert?"
"You're giving me the choice?"
I stand up and walk back over to her. "You're the one who's pregnant."
It only takes Catherine a moment to decide. "Cheese cake, cheese cake with cherry pie filling on top. Oh, walnuts and whipped cream too."
Now that's a detailed request for such a short time. "Anything else?"
"Yeah, drive safe. I'll have the spaghetti well under way before you get back." Pulling her close I indulge in one long, slow kiss before I head to my car.
1346 ZULU
MATTIE GRACE'S RESIDENCE
BLACKSBERG, VIRGINIA
"You made it!" Mattie has me in hug before I even got close to the door.
"Of course I made it."
"I just thought with you being at Ms. Gales' house that..."
"Mattie." My tone's enough to warn her that she's doing it again. "Do you need to see the gashes in my head?"
"I'm sorry Harm, it's just hard for me..."
"To count on others?" I finish for her.
"Yeah."
I'm going to change that. "It's okay. Old habits die hard, I know." I follow Mattie inside the house and drop my bag on the foyer floor. "Did you finish dusting all the fields in time?"
"Barely, there was a half an inch of snow on the ground when the last plane landed yesterday. The storm took its time to reach us, thank God."
"So what now?"
"Not a whole lot. We'll go over all the equipment and make any needed repairs then we close up for the winter. I'll spend those months talking to farmers; trying to get new clients. The rest is all updating our paperwork, buying new equipment if need be, and recruiting new pilots if it looks like some of the guys are going to quit." No one should have to deal with this kind of responsibility at her age. "Did you eat breakfast yet?"
"I wanted to get a jump start getting here so I skipped it."
Mattie just laughs at me. "This from the guy who gave me a lecture about breakfast being the most important meal of the day."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah; the one and the same. Did you eat breakfast yet?"
"No."
"Well people who live in glass houses..." Mattie tosses an apple at me from her countertop, which I easily catch.
"I'll make breakfast."
"What are you making?"
"French toast, its my favorite." Then her voice saddens and nearly breaks my heart, "My mom taught me how to make it."
I set down the apple and lift her chin with a finger. "And that's the part of your mom you'll never lose. Those memories are what keeps your mom alive."
"You think so?"
"Of course I do. You know when I was showing you the Tomcats?"
"Yeah."
"My dad did that with me when I was five. I barely knew my father, but I've never forgotten that moment." Mattie looks at me with this wide-eyed expression on her face. I think she's coming around to the realization that I see her as a daughter and nothing less.
Her lip trembles, but she doesn't cry. "I don't think I'll ever forget it either." Mattie turns towards her fridge and pulls out milk, eggs, and the syrup she needs for the French toast. I wish Catherine could have seen this. Then again, it took Mattie a while to open up to me. If she'd been here maybe we wouldn't have had this wonderful moment... or maybe it would have been even better I don't know. I imagine it'll take some time for her to warm up to Catherine.
"So how is Catherine?"
I can't help the smile that's coming to my face. "She's fine."
"She's obviously more than just that to you."
"We worked things out yesterday."
Mattie pushes aside her empty plate and leans her elbows on the table. "So you're dating now?"
"Yup."
"And she's pregnant?"
"Six months."
"Yours?"
How do I answer that? "She says it's not mine."
Mattie notices that instantly. "But you don't believe her." She is entirely too smart for her own good.
"Lets just say I'll have a paternity test done if the baby looks a little too much like me."
"Do you wish it was?"
This is a dangerous question to answer, but I will because she deserves the truth. "Yes, but I'm not dating her because I think the baby might be mine or not, I just want her in my life." Mattie doesn't say anything, but I can see the doubt filling up her mind again. "Mattie, I want you in my life too, there's nothing out there that's going to change that okay?"
"I just thought..."
"What? That if I eventually had a wife and a child of my own I wouldn't absolutely need you in my life. Sorry, I'm way beyond that point already." Mattie allows herself a small smile that I assume wasn't meant for me, rather her. If that gave her the security, she needs then I did what I set out to do. "Speaking of which, that question you asked on Friday? Where would you like to live Mattie?"
"You mean during the hearing?"
"No I mean permanently. Cause if you want to stay here that's fine. If you'd like to live with me we'd probably move to different area than where I am now, but we'd still have a place to come home to at night."
"Am I even going to have a choice in the matter? Won't the courts say that I have to stay with you?"
"Maybe for a while. If I permit it, I think you're allowed to be on your own when you're 16. Provided I know where you are at all times of course."
"What about Grace Aviation? My house?"
Time to be a lawyer and discuss options. "Okay, just hear me out on this. The business and the house are your assets, and they will always remain that way. We've got a couple of different paths to chose from. One, you move in with me, we sell off your house and your business, and put all the money in the bank under your name." Mattie looks stunned that I'd consider selling her family's legacy. "That's just an option Mattie, everything is completely up to you. Secondly, you move in with me, we keep your business and hire a manager to run it for you."
"Harm I can't hire a manager. The money is always tight."
"We could if we sold off your house. If you didn't have to make the mortgage payment on this place, you could hire a manager and still put money in the bank. Actually, even more so, cause you wouldn't have to pay for food or any of the other stuff I'd already be taking care of." Mattie appears to be considering that option. I'll bet this house hasn't been a home to her since her mother died. "Lastly, you move in with me until you're 16 and then you can move back here, but I still insist upon school."
"What about Grace Aviation while I was gone?"
Please tell me she's not seriously thinking about this option. "We'd have to hire a manager or you could try to run it from here. Realistically you'd only be missing about six months right? March through May, and September through November?"
"Yeah that sounds about right."
"After that you'd be 16 and could be there everyday after school."
"I don't have to make a choice right now do I?"
"No, you've got a lot of time before you have to make that decision."
Mattie thundering down the stairs makes a racket like you can't imagine. Well maybe mom could, I seem to remember her yelling at me for doing it often enough. I'm on the couch watching the Redskins game. They're ahead, but I still think Spurrier should have stayed at Florida. Mattie wraps her arms around my neck from behind.
"How are they doing?"
"They're winning." Mattie parts my hair a bit; I know what she's doing. "A little further down and to the right."
Mattie follows my direction and finds one of them. A little more searching reveals the other. Mattie leans in and gives them a kiss. "All better?"
I can feel the flush in my cheeks. "Yeah, all better." This girl is amazing. Mattie's arms move back around my neck as we watch the game for a while. Eventually she starts sliding her hands along my face, lightly pinching my cheeks, and giggling to herself.
"What's so funny?"
"You've got whiskers. I've never seen you with them before." I haven't shaved since Thursday morning. Three days of growth have given me a more rugged, outdoors look. This is invoking another memory of my father. Mattie gives off this wonderfully, girlish squeal as I whip around and drag her over the top of the couch.
Pinning her on the couch, I hold her there, rubbing my cheeks against hers. "Whisker rub, whisker rub."
"Harm! Stop it! Stop!" She's laughing so hard I know she doesn't mean it. Eventually, I get off her and she sits up, rubbing her cheeks. "What was that?!"
"I told you, it was a whisker rub. My dad used to give them to me all the time." Yeah they left your cheek a little raw, but they were great for father/son bonding. I can't imagine why it wouldn't work for father/daughter bonding as well.
The look in her eyes can only be described as mischievous. "If I knew you weren't going to start bleeding from those cuts on your head, I'd give you one of my uncle's old fashioned Dutch rubs."
"What no Indian burns? I always took you more for an Indian burn girl."
"That can be arranged." Mattie slides up next to me, warily I might add, especially when I smile at her. Eventually she settles into my shoulder and I wrap my right arm around her shoulders as we watch the Redskins beat up on the Cowboys who are doing far better this season than I'd anticipated. "When do you have to go?"
"In about two hours, we can still have supper together."
"I'd like that."
"What do you feel like having?"
"Something simple, grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup."
"That sounds good." Its halfway through the fourth quarter, Mattie's resting her head on my chest as I hold her close and there's nowhere else I'd rather be.
1331 ZULU JAG HEADQUARTERS FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA
"Good morning sir. How was your weekend?" I didn't even make it to my office before Jen intercepted me in the bullpen.
"Great, how was yours?
Jen tilts her head, contemplating my wide smile and I'm sure my excessively cheerful attitude. "Can't complain."
"Good, I'll see you around then." Grabbing my mail, I head to my office. That was truly a weekend to remember.
I can hear Jen rushing to catch up to me, and slowing down to walk with me. "Sir, I take it your relationship with Ms. Grace has improved?"
As we walk, I look over at her with my biggest smile. "Jen, it was never bad. The others are just clicking into place." This leaves her standing in the middle of the bullpen speechless as I continue on to my office wearing a smile. It's going to be a great week