Men In Suits
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill
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Five: Men And Competition
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I do believe that Honda nearly died of laughter that evening.
He had to hold on to various objects, such as couches and tables, in order to keep from falling over in his fit of hysteria.
Finally, I just told him to shut the fuck up.
"Please, Jou, don't get so mad at ME. YOU'RE the one who all the fags seem to go for."
"What?!" I raged. "How DARE you use that word?!"
"What word?" Honda said innocently. "'Fag'? Jou, you use that word all the time!"
"I never realized how offensive it really is." I paused. "Oh God, I really am gay."
"That you are," Honda chirped happily. He adjusted his collar, straightened his tie, and examined a bottle of cologne.
I looked over at the bottle and saw that it was probably American: labeled in English as Obsession. "The hell are you getting all pretty for? Got a date with Otogi?"
Honda glared. "No, baka. I'm going to see Shizuka."
My jaw dropped to the floor. "You're kidding."
"What? Shocked that I was able to get your sister, and NOT Otogi?"
"No, fool," I snapped. "I'm shocked that you would go out with a girl who's still in high school."
"High school SENIOR," Honda insisted.
"Yeah yeah yeah, it's all the same. The hell is she going out with you for?"
"Because I am more sensitive, more caring, and far more attractive than Kaiba will ever be. Plus, I'm not gay."
I rolled my eyes to the heavens. "Uh huh. Yeah, well, you know the drill. Hurt Shizuka in any way and I'll murder you."
Honda grinned. "Why the hell would I do that? I've been after that girl for almost three years now. As if I'd ruin this opportunity."
I laughed out loud and threw a sofa pillow at his head. "Get out of here."
----
Because of Honda's very convenient absence (he said he'd be gone for quite a while, surmising a few well-placed punches on my part), I took the opportunity to walk around the apartment, scratching myself and only bothering to wear boxers and socks. I enjoyed fifteen minutes of drinking and watching Anzu's Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVD (she said it was really hot in the US) when somebody knocked at the front door.
I checked through the peephole and saw Yuuki leaning against the nearest wall, patiently waiting for me to answer the door. I looked down at myself and mulled over the situation. Yuuki, a man who was apparently head over heels for me, walking in to see me in boxers, drinking a bottle of brew, and in a place with a bed. The repercussions would be gigantic.
I ran to my room and threw on a dress shirt and trousers, the first things I found. Then I sprinted back to the door and threw it open, straightening myself up subsequently in order to appear calm and relaxed. "Hey there, Yuuki."
He glided in and looked me over carefully. "God damn, Katsuya, I had no clue how hot you really were until now. You should dress nicely more often."
Shit. Counterproductivity. (That can't be a real word...)
His hand graced mine and he pulled me gently into his arms. "You're so beautiful..." he whispered.
I rolled my eyes to the heavens once more. "You treat me like a woman."
"I do not," Yuuki protested softly. "I treat you like the god that you are...something that Kaiba can't do properly. "
The sudden mention of my other "lover" made me start. "Excuse me? What does Kaiba have to do with this?"
"He kissed you." It was a simple statement of fact.
I began to sweat profusely. What was I supposed to say? I doubted denial and lying would actually help. I turned away.
Yuuki took hold of my shoulders and turned me towards him. "Katsuya. I want you to be mine. Forget Kaiba."
"W-what? Are you jealous or something?"
He laughed bitterly. "Jealous? Jealous of what? Jealous of that rich fool, who's insulted you and your family for years on end? Hardly." He looked directly into my eyes, consuming me completely. "I trust your judgment, Katsuya."
Someone knocked at my door once more. Gods, I think karma hated me that night.
I threw it open and my heart crashed to my feet. "K-Kaiba? The hell are you doing here?"
For the first time in his life, he didn't smirk in that conceited shit way of his. Of course he didn't smile, he never does, but his eyes had small hints of warmth and love, of hope and hopeful despair. (Poetic, ne?) "Jou..." he muttered so softly that I nearly had to lean closer just to hear him properly, "I love you too much."
The rest of the world went out of focus as Kaiba and I stood there in the doorway, staring at each other as if nothing else mattered.
"Keep trying, you filth," Yuuki snarled from behind me, snapping us both out of our shared trance.
Kaiba glared at Yuuki, keeping his fists at his side. "Really? You're here? Trying to fuck Jou again?"
"Katsuya is mine. Period." Yuuki was firm.
"Hm. Because you tricked him and fucked him in some mangy club?" Kaiba stepped forward.
Yuuki also took a step. "Because, you fool, the likelihood of Katsuya even tolerating his enemy is low. You've verbally assaulted him ever since the day that you met. You tried to establish some sort of class division, tried to make him think that you were somehow better than him. Why in blazes," he raged, "would he ever want anything to do with you now? Do you think he is that desperate for material goods?"
"Perhaps," Kaiba responded angrily, "it is because Jou and I have shared a connection that's existed long before this heist. Do you think my words have really affected him that much? You're touched, Yuuki, touched quite a bit in the head. You dream too much, you think this is some scenario out of a poorly written romance novel? Jou will take me above you because the sheer fact that he has no reason NOT to."
At that point they both looked at me expectantly. I blushed furiously. "Erm..." There really wasn't anything I could say to keep the two from tearing each other to shreds. Honestly, you cannot deny that they both had really valid points.
Yuuki appeared like he was terribly torn between tears and physical assault. "You can't be serious, Katsuya. You'd actually consider loving that...that bourgeois filth? Can you not remember all the times that he threw his status in your face?"
Kaiba snorted and looked to me, his eyes boring into my very soul. "Be realistic, Jou. What can this dreaming fool ever do for you? Can he insure you a concrete future? I think not. He lives on music and cheap wine, Jou, how definite is that kind of life?"
"I think you've said more than enough for today, Kaiba," Yuuki snapped.
Kaiba clenched his fists even tighter. "You think so? Willing to support your opinion?"
Seeing these two men, two men from completely different worlds, two men who would have never met, much less fought, before, arguing and on the brink of throwing blows, was getting to my head. I'd say that I feel really bad for the pretty girls that all the stupid boys fight over. I threw myself in between the two (just in case either one was about to back up his threats). "Stop! Gods, you're both behaving like a pair of stupid, fat-headed jocks!"
They both pulled their eyes away from each other and stared at me. Yuuki spoke first. "Katsuya. You know that you will have to choose. And you know that you will have to hurt somebody."
"You know how we feel about you, Jou," Kaiba added. "Eventually, you will have to make up your mind."
I snorted and pushed past Kaiba to the door. I grabbed my wallet from the small table nearby and shoved it into my back pocket. "You guys think I can be won over like some idiot girl? Please." I opened the door, and before I exited the apartment I called over my shoulder, "I'll see you both tomorrow at the bank. We've got money to steal. For now, I'm going to get drunk and forget."
It was, I believe, around eight when I slammed the door in their faces.
[A/N: Ooooooooh, conflict! Yaaah! And next chapter I'm finally getting back to the heist itself, I've been asking myself when am I going to cut the corniness factor and get to the quirky heist parts. And now I will! Yaaah! So...Yuuki and Seto have told Jou straight up that he's gotta choose sometime soon...who will it be, Yuuki or Seto? Hyaaah! Big homosexual SHOWDOWN! (to quote the great Kohta Hirano) Ginyaaa! Hmm... wouldn't YOU like to know who Jou's going to go for...(you won't find out for a few more chapters...hah!) But hold up! Wait a minute! Don't NOBODY like Yuuki? In chapter three everyone was all, "Oh. So Yuuki made his move on Jou. Great. (rolling eyes)" but when chapter four came out and Seto made his move, you're all like, "Ooooooooh! Ooooooooh! Seto and Jou! Yaaay!" And I'm like, "WHAAAAT?! I went through all the trouble of making this OC who's remarkably hot and NONE of you like him??!! Gaaaah! Should I just kill him off or something?!!" Haha. I'll NEVER kill Yuuki, NEVER!! But enough of this ridiculously long author's note...seriously, doesn't anyone like Yuuki? Just a little bit? Please? I like him...(and everyone I know's all, "That's because Heavens to Bikini Kill likes her OCs too damn much!" and I'm all, "Shut the FUCK up 'fore I knock you out, son!") Aaaaaanyhow, this was a really long rambling paragraph and I'm gonna end it with two requests: pleaaase review and pleaaase peep my other work. Please. People not reading my stuff makes me sad...there'd be no purpose in posting... look at how review-shallow I am...]
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill
--------------
Five: Men And Competition
--------------
I do believe that Honda nearly died of laughter that evening.
He had to hold on to various objects, such as couches and tables, in order to keep from falling over in his fit of hysteria.
Finally, I just told him to shut the fuck up.
"Please, Jou, don't get so mad at ME. YOU'RE the one who all the fags seem to go for."
"What?!" I raged. "How DARE you use that word?!"
"What word?" Honda said innocently. "'Fag'? Jou, you use that word all the time!"
"I never realized how offensive it really is." I paused. "Oh God, I really am gay."
"That you are," Honda chirped happily. He adjusted his collar, straightened his tie, and examined a bottle of cologne.
I looked over at the bottle and saw that it was probably American: labeled in English as Obsession. "The hell are you getting all pretty for? Got a date with Otogi?"
Honda glared. "No, baka. I'm going to see Shizuka."
My jaw dropped to the floor. "You're kidding."
"What? Shocked that I was able to get your sister, and NOT Otogi?"
"No, fool," I snapped. "I'm shocked that you would go out with a girl who's still in high school."
"High school SENIOR," Honda insisted.
"Yeah yeah yeah, it's all the same. The hell is she going out with you for?"
"Because I am more sensitive, more caring, and far more attractive than Kaiba will ever be. Plus, I'm not gay."
I rolled my eyes to the heavens. "Uh huh. Yeah, well, you know the drill. Hurt Shizuka in any way and I'll murder you."
Honda grinned. "Why the hell would I do that? I've been after that girl for almost three years now. As if I'd ruin this opportunity."
I laughed out loud and threw a sofa pillow at his head. "Get out of here."
----
Because of Honda's very convenient absence (he said he'd be gone for quite a while, surmising a few well-placed punches on my part), I took the opportunity to walk around the apartment, scratching myself and only bothering to wear boxers and socks. I enjoyed fifteen minutes of drinking and watching Anzu's Aqua Teen Hunger Force DVD (she said it was really hot in the US) when somebody knocked at the front door.
I checked through the peephole and saw Yuuki leaning against the nearest wall, patiently waiting for me to answer the door. I looked down at myself and mulled over the situation. Yuuki, a man who was apparently head over heels for me, walking in to see me in boxers, drinking a bottle of brew, and in a place with a bed. The repercussions would be gigantic.
I ran to my room and threw on a dress shirt and trousers, the first things I found. Then I sprinted back to the door and threw it open, straightening myself up subsequently in order to appear calm and relaxed. "Hey there, Yuuki."
He glided in and looked me over carefully. "God damn, Katsuya, I had no clue how hot you really were until now. You should dress nicely more often."
Shit. Counterproductivity. (That can't be a real word...)
His hand graced mine and he pulled me gently into his arms. "You're so beautiful..." he whispered.
I rolled my eyes to the heavens once more. "You treat me like a woman."
"I do not," Yuuki protested softly. "I treat you like the god that you are...something that Kaiba can't do properly. "
The sudden mention of my other "lover" made me start. "Excuse me? What does Kaiba have to do with this?"
"He kissed you." It was a simple statement of fact.
I began to sweat profusely. What was I supposed to say? I doubted denial and lying would actually help. I turned away.
Yuuki took hold of my shoulders and turned me towards him. "Katsuya. I want you to be mine. Forget Kaiba."
"W-what? Are you jealous or something?"
He laughed bitterly. "Jealous? Jealous of what? Jealous of that rich fool, who's insulted you and your family for years on end? Hardly." He looked directly into my eyes, consuming me completely. "I trust your judgment, Katsuya."
Someone knocked at my door once more. Gods, I think karma hated me that night.
I threw it open and my heart crashed to my feet. "K-Kaiba? The hell are you doing here?"
For the first time in his life, he didn't smirk in that conceited shit way of his. Of course he didn't smile, he never does, but his eyes had small hints of warmth and love, of hope and hopeful despair. (Poetic, ne?) "Jou..." he muttered so softly that I nearly had to lean closer just to hear him properly, "I love you too much."
The rest of the world went out of focus as Kaiba and I stood there in the doorway, staring at each other as if nothing else mattered.
"Keep trying, you filth," Yuuki snarled from behind me, snapping us both out of our shared trance.
Kaiba glared at Yuuki, keeping his fists at his side. "Really? You're here? Trying to fuck Jou again?"
"Katsuya is mine. Period." Yuuki was firm.
"Hm. Because you tricked him and fucked him in some mangy club?" Kaiba stepped forward.
Yuuki also took a step. "Because, you fool, the likelihood of Katsuya even tolerating his enemy is low. You've verbally assaulted him ever since the day that you met. You tried to establish some sort of class division, tried to make him think that you were somehow better than him. Why in blazes," he raged, "would he ever want anything to do with you now? Do you think he is that desperate for material goods?"
"Perhaps," Kaiba responded angrily, "it is because Jou and I have shared a connection that's existed long before this heist. Do you think my words have really affected him that much? You're touched, Yuuki, touched quite a bit in the head. You dream too much, you think this is some scenario out of a poorly written romance novel? Jou will take me above you because the sheer fact that he has no reason NOT to."
At that point they both looked at me expectantly. I blushed furiously. "Erm..." There really wasn't anything I could say to keep the two from tearing each other to shreds. Honestly, you cannot deny that they both had really valid points.
Yuuki appeared like he was terribly torn between tears and physical assault. "You can't be serious, Katsuya. You'd actually consider loving that...that bourgeois filth? Can you not remember all the times that he threw his status in your face?"
Kaiba snorted and looked to me, his eyes boring into my very soul. "Be realistic, Jou. What can this dreaming fool ever do for you? Can he insure you a concrete future? I think not. He lives on music and cheap wine, Jou, how definite is that kind of life?"
"I think you've said more than enough for today, Kaiba," Yuuki snapped.
Kaiba clenched his fists even tighter. "You think so? Willing to support your opinion?"
Seeing these two men, two men from completely different worlds, two men who would have never met, much less fought, before, arguing and on the brink of throwing blows, was getting to my head. I'd say that I feel really bad for the pretty girls that all the stupid boys fight over. I threw myself in between the two (just in case either one was about to back up his threats). "Stop! Gods, you're both behaving like a pair of stupid, fat-headed jocks!"
They both pulled their eyes away from each other and stared at me. Yuuki spoke first. "Katsuya. You know that you will have to choose. And you know that you will have to hurt somebody."
"You know how we feel about you, Jou," Kaiba added. "Eventually, you will have to make up your mind."
I snorted and pushed past Kaiba to the door. I grabbed my wallet from the small table nearby and shoved it into my back pocket. "You guys think I can be won over like some idiot girl? Please." I opened the door, and before I exited the apartment I called over my shoulder, "I'll see you both tomorrow at the bank. We've got money to steal. For now, I'm going to get drunk and forget."
It was, I believe, around eight when I slammed the door in their faces.
[A/N: Ooooooooh, conflict! Yaaah! And next chapter I'm finally getting back to the heist itself, I've been asking myself when am I going to cut the corniness factor and get to the quirky heist parts. And now I will! Yaaah! So...Yuuki and Seto have told Jou straight up that he's gotta choose sometime soon...who will it be, Yuuki or Seto? Hyaaah! Big homosexual SHOWDOWN! (to quote the great Kohta Hirano) Ginyaaa! Hmm... wouldn't YOU like to know who Jou's going to go for...(you won't find out for a few more chapters...hah!) But hold up! Wait a minute! Don't NOBODY like Yuuki? In chapter three everyone was all, "Oh. So Yuuki made his move on Jou. Great. (rolling eyes)" but when chapter four came out and Seto made his move, you're all like, "Ooooooooh! Ooooooooh! Seto and Jou! Yaaay!" And I'm like, "WHAAAAT?! I went through all the trouble of making this OC who's remarkably hot and NONE of you like him??!! Gaaaah! Should I just kill him off or something?!!" Haha. I'll NEVER kill Yuuki, NEVER!! But enough of this ridiculously long author's note...seriously, doesn't anyone like Yuuki? Just a little bit? Please? I like him...(and everyone I know's all, "That's because Heavens to Bikini Kill likes her OCs too damn much!" and I'm all, "Shut the FUCK up 'fore I knock you out, son!") Aaaaaanyhow, this was a really long rambling paragraph and I'm gonna end it with two requests: pleaaase review and pleaaase peep my other work. Please. People not reading my stuff makes me sad...there'd be no purpose in posting... look at how review-shallow I am...]