Men In Suits
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill
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Eight: Men On Line
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You know what? Sota and Hideaki are two really attractive computer geeks. What? I'm gay now, I can say that.
But seriously. Those two, along with Yuuki, are a force to be reckoned with. They have the ability to take only your name and destroy your life, your home, and your family. They are more than just the system-crashing, money-stealing, stereotypical hackers. All in all, these motherfuckers are BAD.
All three sat down to their laptops (after Sota served Yuuki a VERY long lecture about how set-up time was not to be used for fooling around in the shower) and demanded complete silence. It was time to get to work.
Honda frequently glared at the electronic mess in his kitchen. "Why exactly did you have to come here?"
Hideaki shushed him harshly, leaving Honda to pout.
Yuuki's slender fingers flew across his keyboard. I sat and watched in wonder. Maybe I was drooling. Maybe not. All I knew what that I had no clue what he and the others were saying, and I didn't want a lesson on techy-geeky terms. Next they'll be wanting to teach me l33t. [A/N: I know that some people out there don't know what l33t is... l33t, or elite, is nerd speak. That's the best way to put it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some sleep, sleep, glorious sl33p! Excus3 m3, th4t p0pp3d out. 44rgh! St0p m3!] Geez.
For the next two hours, Yuuki, Sota, and Hideaki did nothing but type constantly, adjusting a wire every now and then. They frequently snapped their fingers at Otogi, demanding a food product of some type. I really, really wanted to give him a French maid outfit. It would have been hilarious.
At exactly ten twenty four, Yuuki leapt to his feet and did a dance of victory. He grabbed Hideaki and they both kicked and swayed wildly in a strange rush of adrenaline. Two seconds later, Yuuki stopped and stared, Hideaki adjusted his fedora, and they rushed away from each other. (Yuuki to my lap, Hideaki to Sota's arms.)
Sota took off his glasses and cleaned them carefully. "Gentlemen," he murmured, "I believe we have just successfully taken our fill from another account."
"Did you clean it out?" I asked.
Yuuki grinned and pointed to his computer screen. "No. We left him a gift." It was an account statement, of exactly three dollars and sixty seven cents.
Yuuki monitored every drink I had that night, and Otogi rushed out of the apartment the moment we left for my room.
----
Does everybody just love coming to my apartment now? Did somebody advertise it as some new hip hotspot? Hm? There can't be any other logical explanation as to why both Kaiba and Yuuki come here every goddamn hour.
Honda clued me in rather quickly that they were probably inspecting the goods.
If I have to tell him to shut the fuck up one more time, I'm going to scream.
Anyhow, Kaiba came back a few days after my Yuuki (shut up) so cleverly hacked into some rich guy's account and nearly emptied it. He didn't say much, only grabbed my arm and pulled me out to his car. Car number six, to be exact.
"You know, Kaiba, they call this something. Kidnapping." I pulled out a pack of cigarettes. As if I was going to pass up the opportunity to leave cigarette ashes in Kaiba's expensive-ass car. Yeah yeah yeah, I don't need a lecture on how I shouldn't think of my potential lover as my enemy anymore.
He smiled. Not sincerely. He never does that. "We're going for a little... ride."
Scary, ja? Riding in a sleek, black Mercedes-Benz (E Class! Nice!) with Kaiba Seto, the creepiest CEO/stalker in Japan? Yeah, I was prepared to die. Or be terribly mutilated. He's clingy like that.
"We gonna step out of the car any time soon?"
"HELL no. You want the press to see me walking with a guy? They'll take it too far, they always do. You think Japan's ready for a gay celebrity?"
I rolled my eyes. "Who cares what other people think?"
"Don't be stupid, Jou. My profits depend entirely upon what other people think."
I tapped the ashes out of the window and growled audibly. "Shut up."
Kaiba was indignant and insulted. "Excuse me? You are in no position to be telling me to shut up."
"And why not? Sorry, Kaiba, I don't feel like being some kissass who'll take whatever you give me."
"So you're content with being selfish, whiny, and unappreciative?"
"What?!" That one really pissed me off. "What the fuck do you mean, 'unappreciative'? Am I supposed to be GRATEFUL that you want me?"
"Compared to that guitar-plunkin' moron Yuuki? Yes. You should be."
I was dying to punch him again. "Fucking PRICK. I don't give a shit about your money."
He snorted and glared. "You give a shit about MONEY, Jou. Whether you're willing to believe it or not, you are not perfect. You have your... vices."
"Shut the fuck up, Kaiba. Don't act like you've had nothing to do with this."
We both fell silent, and I was definitely in no mood to talk. Kaiba filled the silence. "I can't live without you --"
"Oh man, SHUT UP. Seriously. I'm not like Anzu or whatever stupid girl you've dated. I can't be sweet-talked. You have no idea how people operate, Kaiba."
He was very quick to agree. "And you are indecisive, and fickle. Nobody's perfect, and that includes Yuuki."
"Quit talking about him. I don't care what you have to say about him."
More silence. "Listen to me, Jou..."
"No, just shut up. You said it yourself. I'm 'indecisive'. Give me some time to make up my mind."
Kaiba exploded the moment I said that. "How much more damn TIME do you need? When the hell are you gonna make up your mind?"
I lost my temper at that point as well. "Maybe I'll make up my mind when you and Yuuki quit hopping on my ass every damn thirty seconds! Maybe when you both quit trying to destroy each other just to get me, I'll have all the time in the world to pay attention to the fact that I've got two amazing, beautiful men who actually want me!"
If Kaiba had the ability to cry, I think he would have. "Gods. You have no clue how hard this is for me."
"What...?" I think we might have finally calmed down.
"You don't know how hard it is for me to love you, Jou."
"What?" That short-lived calm was slowly turning to revived anger.
"Look at you. You've got no direction, no plan, no foundation. You're just floating, you're a ghost who can't find anything right, so you sleep with another ghost, thinking you'll get something."
"Stop it."
"You're worth nothing, Jou, and I can't stay here waiting for nothing."
"I said stop it."
He snatched the cigarette in my hand and threw it out of the window, watching another car crush it swiftly. "I'm moving up in the world every damn day, Jou. And every damn day I've been waiting for that moment where you and I could be together in that permanent comfort zone, where you wouldn't have to be a useless ghost..."
I really couldn't believe what he was saying. "You elitist motherfucker."
"Elitist? If you must call me that." He was eerily calm, like he had already accepted his fatheaded bourgeois state. "But you know it's all true."
I had enough of strange, out-of-it Kaiba. "Pull over. Right here." He obeyed, he had no other choice.
I looked at him directly in the eye, and I saw mirrors. Kaiba was gone, all there was left was a shell of a broken, hopeless man. "Jou. I am not sorry. I know you will make the proper choice."
"I'll get back to you on that." I crawled out of his car, and I didn't want to be sad. I didn't want to feel guilt for playing with these men's emotions. But I did, and I hated it, and I hated Kaiba for not being that cold-hearted bastard that he was supposed to be. In fact, I hated Kaiba more than I hated my actions. It was his fault. Why couldn't he be immune to my actions? Asshole.
I kept my back to his car, and my middle finger went right into the air. "Go have fun in your comfort zone."
I heard the acceleration, and I heard the car make its way far, far away from me.
I knew that he was crying. I didn't know how he could see through his tears.
----
It rained terribly.
I spent the rest of that night in my room, laying on top of my bed, not caring if my perfectly made sheets were all astray. I had already told Honda to tell everyone else to fuck off, especially if Kaiba tried to come back. I turned my cell phone off as an obvious precaution. I wished to speak to no one, and I made that perfectly clear.
My pillow had long been soaked with my tears, an occurrence that I had not been a part of since I was twelve and living alone with my father. When I turned thirteen, crying seemed to disappear out of my life. I thought I simply ran out of tears. They came back now.
"Gods, FUCK you, Kaiba," I murmured to no one in particular. Perhaps I said it because I was purely confused at that point. I wasn't used to Kaiba being right. Kaiba wasn't supposed to be right, ever. He was supposed to be an elitist idiot who would say anything stupid to have me. And yet...
Somebody knocked at my door. "Go away, Honda," I choked out. He had tried on various occasions to make me happy. Nobody, apparently, likes a sad Jou.
"It's not Honda. It's me." Yuuki. I didn't know if I wanted to see him or not. He walked in anyway, taking my silence as a confirmation.
He was holding something large in his other hand, but I didn't really care what. I didn't say anything as he placed whatever it was on the floor and sat at the foot of my bed. "Katsuya. What did he do to you?"
"He was right," I said hollowly. "I am a ghost."
"Stop that nonsense," he snapped. "Kaiba's got nothing to say to you."
I sighed very loudly and flopped back onto my face. I was able to mumble through the pillow, "I'm tired of hearing you two hate on each other all the time."
"And I'm tired of hating on Kaiba all the time. I keep saying that I trust your judgment and yet I keep trying to convince you that Kaiba's a filthy asshole." He paused. "Katsuya, I really only want to love you. That's all."
I didn't answer.
He sighed at my lack of a response, and placed a dark case of some sort right next to my feet. I heard his fingers fumble over some snaps, and I looked up to see Yuuki hoisting an acoustic guitar onto his lap. "I don't want to fuck, I don't want to yell about Kaiba. I just want to spend this night with you." He began to strum some three-chord tune.
"All the doves that fly past my eyes, have a stickiness to their wings. In the doorway of my demise, I stand, encased in the whisper you taught me," the strumming sped up at this point, "How does it feel? It feels blind. How does it feel? Well, it feels fucking blind. What have you taught me? Nothing. Look what you've taught me, you've taught me nothing."
I felt my eyes getting all wet again, and I couldn't stand it. "Yuuki... stop it."
He wouldn't stop. "If you were blind and there was no braille, there are no boundaries on what I can feel. If you could see but were always taught that what you saw wasn't fucking real, yeah... how does that feel? It feels blind. How does it feel? It feels fucking blind. Your world has taught me nothing. Look at your world it teaches me nothing."
I sat up, my line of sight blurry owing to my tears. I placed a hand to Yuuki's guitar. "Stop. Please." He looked up, his emotions too mixed to identify. "I don't want to be a ghost. And I don't want to leave you either."
I could tell that anger was emerging from his emotions. He packed his guitar away, and refused to look at me as he raged, "You don't want to be a ghost? What is this ghost that you speak of? Is it some of Kaiba's propaganda?"
"No, it's --" I tried.
He held up a hand, signaling that he really didn't care. "Look, Katsuya, I love you with every fiber of my being, and I am SORRY that Kaiba hurt you, but..." He sighed deeply and picked up his case, heading for the door. "I cannot and will not wait around for you forever. You and I both know that it's just not fair. Make up your mind, or you will lose both of us." Right before he closed the door he added contemptuously, "So much for tough ghost, tough crowd."
And he left.
"Damn it, Yuuki," I whispered to the closed door, "how the hell am I supposed to choose?"
[A/N: Wow... I've seriously killed the funny in this chapter. Why do I always do that?! Anyhow, I'm thinking of one more "official" chapter (if not two), and then we move on to the alternate endings, in order to please you Yuuki-hating Kaiba fans (I know you exist, damn it!). That's all for now, Heavens to Bikini Kill over and out. PS: The song that Yuuki sang was Bikini Kill's "Feels Blind."]
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill
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Eight: Men On Line
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You know what? Sota and Hideaki are two really attractive computer geeks. What? I'm gay now, I can say that.
But seriously. Those two, along with Yuuki, are a force to be reckoned with. They have the ability to take only your name and destroy your life, your home, and your family. They are more than just the system-crashing, money-stealing, stereotypical hackers. All in all, these motherfuckers are BAD.
All three sat down to their laptops (after Sota served Yuuki a VERY long lecture about how set-up time was not to be used for fooling around in the shower) and demanded complete silence. It was time to get to work.
Honda frequently glared at the electronic mess in his kitchen. "Why exactly did you have to come here?"
Hideaki shushed him harshly, leaving Honda to pout.
Yuuki's slender fingers flew across his keyboard. I sat and watched in wonder. Maybe I was drooling. Maybe not. All I knew what that I had no clue what he and the others were saying, and I didn't want a lesson on techy-geeky terms. Next they'll be wanting to teach me l33t. [A/N: I know that some people out there don't know what l33t is... l33t, or elite, is nerd speak. That's the best way to put it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some sleep, sleep, glorious sl33p! Excus3 m3, th4t p0pp3d out. 44rgh! St0p m3!] Geez.
For the next two hours, Yuuki, Sota, and Hideaki did nothing but type constantly, adjusting a wire every now and then. They frequently snapped their fingers at Otogi, demanding a food product of some type. I really, really wanted to give him a French maid outfit. It would have been hilarious.
At exactly ten twenty four, Yuuki leapt to his feet and did a dance of victory. He grabbed Hideaki and they both kicked and swayed wildly in a strange rush of adrenaline. Two seconds later, Yuuki stopped and stared, Hideaki adjusted his fedora, and they rushed away from each other. (Yuuki to my lap, Hideaki to Sota's arms.)
Sota took off his glasses and cleaned them carefully. "Gentlemen," he murmured, "I believe we have just successfully taken our fill from another account."
"Did you clean it out?" I asked.
Yuuki grinned and pointed to his computer screen. "No. We left him a gift." It was an account statement, of exactly three dollars and sixty seven cents.
Yuuki monitored every drink I had that night, and Otogi rushed out of the apartment the moment we left for my room.
----
Does everybody just love coming to my apartment now? Did somebody advertise it as some new hip hotspot? Hm? There can't be any other logical explanation as to why both Kaiba and Yuuki come here every goddamn hour.
Honda clued me in rather quickly that they were probably inspecting the goods.
If I have to tell him to shut the fuck up one more time, I'm going to scream.
Anyhow, Kaiba came back a few days after my Yuuki (shut up) so cleverly hacked into some rich guy's account and nearly emptied it. He didn't say much, only grabbed my arm and pulled me out to his car. Car number six, to be exact.
"You know, Kaiba, they call this something. Kidnapping." I pulled out a pack of cigarettes. As if I was going to pass up the opportunity to leave cigarette ashes in Kaiba's expensive-ass car. Yeah yeah yeah, I don't need a lecture on how I shouldn't think of my potential lover as my enemy anymore.
He smiled. Not sincerely. He never does that. "We're going for a little... ride."
Scary, ja? Riding in a sleek, black Mercedes-Benz (E Class! Nice!) with Kaiba Seto, the creepiest CEO/stalker in Japan? Yeah, I was prepared to die. Or be terribly mutilated. He's clingy like that.
"We gonna step out of the car any time soon?"
"HELL no. You want the press to see me walking with a guy? They'll take it too far, they always do. You think Japan's ready for a gay celebrity?"
I rolled my eyes. "Who cares what other people think?"
"Don't be stupid, Jou. My profits depend entirely upon what other people think."
I tapped the ashes out of the window and growled audibly. "Shut up."
Kaiba was indignant and insulted. "Excuse me? You are in no position to be telling me to shut up."
"And why not? Sorry, Kaiba, I don't feel like being some kissass who'll take whatever you give me."
"So you're content with being selfish, whiny, and unappreciative?"
"What?!" That one really pissed me off. "What the fuck do you mean, 'unappreciative'? Am I supposed to be GRATEFUL that you want me?"
"Compared to that guitar-plunkin' moron Yuuki? Yes. You should be."
I was dying to punch him again. "Fucking PRICK. I don't give a shit about your money."
He snorted and glared. "You give a shit about MONEY, Jou. Whether you're willing to believe it or not, you are not perfect. You have your... vices."
"Shut the fuck up, Kaiba. Don't act like you've had nothing to do with this."
We both fell silent, and I was definitely in no mood to talk. Kaiba filled the silence. "I can't live without you --"
"Oh man, SHUT UP. Seriously. I'm not like Anzu or whatever stupid girl you've dated. I can't be sweet-talked. You have no idea how people operate, Kaiba."
He was very quick to agree. "And you are indecisive, and fickle. Nobody's perfect, and that includes Yuuki."
"Quit talking about him. I don't care what you have to say about him."
More silence. "Listen to me, Jou..."
"No, just shut up. You said it yourself. I'm 'indecisive'. Give me some time to make up my mind."
Kaiba exploded the moment I said that. "How much more damn TIME do you need? When the hell are you gonna make up your mind?"
I lost my temper at that point as well. "Maybe I'll make up my mind when you and Yuuki quit hopping on my ass every damn thirty seconds! Maybe when you both quit trying to destroy each other just to get me, I'll have all the time in the world to pay attention to the fact that I've got two amazing, beautiful men who actually want me!"
If Kaiba had the ability to cry, I think he would have. "Gods. You have no clue how hard this is for me."
"What...?" I think we might have finally calmed down.
"You don't know how hard it is for me to love you, Jou."
"What?" That short-lived calm was slowly turning to revived anger.
"Look at you. You've got no direction, no plan, no foundation. You're just floating, you're a ghost who can't find anything right, so you sleep with another ghost, thinking you'll get something."
"Stop it."
"You're worth nothing, Jou, and I can't stay here waiting for nothing."
"I said stop it."
He snatched the cigarette in my hand and threw it out of the window, watching another car crush it swiftly. "I'm moving up in the world every damn day, Jou. And every damn day I've been waiting for that moment where you and I could be together in that permanent comfort zone, where you wouldn't have to be a useless ghost..."
I really couldn't believe what he was saying. "You elitist motherfucker."
"Elitist? If you must call me that." He was eerily calm, like he had already accepted his fatheaded bourgeois state. "But you know it's all true."
I had enough of strange, out-of-it Kaiba. "Pull over. Right here." He obeyed, he had no other choice.
I looked at him directly in the eye, and I saw mirrors. Kaiba was gone, all there was left was a shell of a broken, hopeless man. "Jou. I am not sorry. I know you will make the proper choice."
"I'll get back to you on that." I crawled out of his car, and I didn't want to be sad. I didn't want to feel guilt for playing with these men's emotions. But I did, and I hated it, and I hated Kaiba for not being that cold-hearted bastard that he was supposed to be. In fact, I hated Kaiba more than I hated my actions. It was his fault. Why couldn't he be immune to my actions? Asshole.
I kept my back to his car, and my middle finger went right into the air. "Go have fun in your comfort zone."
I heard the acceleration, and I heard the car make its way far, far away from me.
I knew that he was crying. I didn't know how he could see through his tears.
----
It rained terribly.
I spent the rest of that night in my room, laying on top of my bed, not caring if my perfectly made sheets were all astray. I had already told Honda to tell everyone else to fuck off, especially if Kaiba tried to come back. I turned my cell phone off as an obvious precaution. I wished to speak to no one, and I made that perfectly clear.
My pillow had long been soaked with my tears, an occurrence that I had not been a part of since I was twelve and living alone with my father. When I turned thirteen, crying seemed to disappear out of my life. I thought I simply ran out of tears. They came back now.
"Gods, FUCK you, Kaiba," I murmured to no one in particular. Perhaps I said it because I was purely confused at that point. I wasn't used to Kaiba being right. Kaiba wasn't supposed to be right, ever. He was supposed to be an elitist idiot who would say anything stupid to have me. And yet...
Somebody knocked at my door. "Go away, Honda," I choked out. He had tried on various occasions to make me happy. Nobody, apparently, likes a sad Jou.
"It's not Honda. It's me." Yuuki. I didn't know if I wanted to see him or not. He walked in anyway, taking my silence as a confirmation.
He was holding something large in his other hand, but I didn't really care what. I didn't say anything as he placed whatever it was on the floor and sat at the foot of my bed. "Katsuya. What did he do to you?"
"He was right," I said hollowly. "I am a ghost."
"Stop that nonsense," he snapped. "Kaiba's got nothing to say to you."
I sighed very loudly and flopped back onto my face. I was able to mumble through the pillow, "I'm tired of hearing you two hate on each other all the time."
"And I'm tired of hating on Kaiba all the time. I keep saying that I trust your judgment and yet I keep trying to convince you that Kaiba's a filthy asshole." He paused. "Katsuya, I really only want to love you. That's all."
I didn't answer.
He sighed at my lack of a response, and placed a dark case of some sort right next to my feet. I heard his fingers fumble over some snaps, and I looked up to see Yuuki hoisting an acoustic guitar onto his lap. "I don't want to fuck, I don't want to yell about Kaiba. I just want to spend this night with you." He began to strum some three-chord tune.
"All the doves that fly past my eyes, have a stickiness to their wings. In the doorway of my demise, I stand, encased in the whisper you taught me," the strumming sped up at this point, "How does it feel? It feels blind. How does it feel? Well, it feels fucking blind. What have you taught me? Nothing. Look what you've taught me, you've taught me nothing."
I felt my eyes getting all wet again, and I couldn't stand it. "Yuuki... stop it."
He wouldn't stop. "If you were blind and there was no braille, there are no boundaries on what I can feel. If you could see but were always taught that what you saw wasn't fucking real, yeah... how does that feel? It feels blind. How does it feel? It feels fucking blind. Your world has taught me nothing. Look at your world it teaches me nothing."
I sat up, my line of sight blurry owing to my tears. I placed a hand to Yuuki's guitar. "Stop. Please." He looked up, his emotions too mixed to identify. "I don't want to be a ghost. And I don't want to leave you either."
I could tell that anger was emerging from his emotions. He packed his guitar away, and refused to look at me as he raged, "You don't want to be a ghost? What is this ghost that you speak of? Is it some of Kaiba's propaganda?"
"No, it's --" I tried.
He held up a hand, signaling that he really didn't care. "Look, Katsuya, I love you with every fiber of my being, and I am SORRY that Kaiba hurt you, but..." He sighed deeply and picked up his case, heading for the door. "I cannot and will not wait around for you forever. You and I both know that it's just not fair. Make up your mind, or you will lose both of us." Right before he closed the door he added contemptuously, "So much for tough ghost, tough crowd."
And he left.
"Damn it, Yuuki," I whispered to the closed door, "how the hell am I supposed to choose?"
[A/N: Wow... I've seriously killed the funny in this chapter. Why do I always do that?! Anyhow, I'm thinking of one more "official" chapter (if not two), and then we move on to the alternate endings, in order to please you Yuuki-hating Kaiba fans (I know you exist, damn it!). That's all for now, Heavens to Bikini Kill over and out. PS: The song that Yuuki sang was Bikini Kill's "Feels Blind."]