Men In Suits
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill
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Nine: Men In Suits
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I don't know why I did what I did, but I did it, and there is nothing I can do now to change it.
It's kind of sad, really.
I spent the next three days in my room with a questionable amount of brew, listening to a mix CD that Yuuki made me a few days after we met, and examining a Rolex that Kaiba bought for me two weeks ago. I only left three times a day to swallow something solid or to use the restroom.
I remember hearing people, sometimes Yuuki, sometimes Kaiba, sometimes even Sota, coming by every now and then, asking where I was. Honda would say the same, I was locked in my room and nobody could get in. Kaiba had grumbled something about me being a drama queen, and Yuuki asked if Honda could tell me that he was sorry. Is it possible to love them both too much?
The fourth day I pulled apart my curtains for the first time and saw the sunrise. I was taken aback by the simple, cheap, natural beauty of the oranges and reds and purples in the sky, greater than any acid trip.
What's in your head? What's in your head? Zombie, zombie, zombie, hey hey...
I walked out of my room tentatively, continuously soaking in the image of the world outside of those four walls. Honda and Shizuka were on the couch, watching television. The moment he spotted me his arm flew off of her shoulders. Good man. (I could've sworn that I saw him stash away something small and plastic. I chose to ignore it for Honda's sake.)
Shizuka brightened immediately upon seeing me alive and well. She jumped up from the couch and somehow flew directly into my arms. "Big brother! I am so glad that you're okay!"
My eyebrows nearly touched the ceiling. "Why wouldn't I be okay?" I turned to my roommate. "Honda... what EXACTLY have you been telling my sister?"
He started to sweat nervously, and coughed a bit. "I simply said that you locked yourself up in your room because you were so depressed over Yuuki and Kaiba."
"WHAT?!" I shouted. "You weren't supposed to tell Shizuka... THAT!"
She giggled. "It's okay, brother. I don't care if you're gay. And I won't tell Mom OR Dad."
"It doesn't matter," I grumbled, immediately changing the subject. "I don't give a damn about either of those self-righteous, self-destructive asswipes."
Shizuka gasped audibly. "Don't talk about Mom like that!" she scolded.
"Yeah yeah yeah. I don't like her, she doesn't like me, we made that perfectly clear to you." I examined her shocked reaction. "Oh, come on! How the hell am I supposed to like that bitch? She left me with that drunken, wasted excuse of a father, much less a man!"
Honda jumped to Shizuka's side, under the pretense of comfort. "Come on, Jou. That stuff's ancient history. Can't you just bury it?"
"HELL no," I snapped. I turned and grabbed my ancient green jacket off of the nicely constructed coat rack that Kaiba had sent after the first heist.
"Where are you going?" Honda demanded.
"Out. It's not much of your business." I closed the door behind me before either of them could answer.
----
Sota examined me very carefully over the top of his glasses. Hideaki was standing right by his seat, absentmindedly combing his hand through Sota's dreads. Eiri had gone out for coffee, offering to buy me a latte (I declined), and Akito was nowhere to be seen. "Are you absolutely sure about this, Jonouchi-san?"
"Absolutely."
He smiled softly. "It's hard to imagine that you don't want to ride this whole thing out. Five million yen is quite a bit of money, but by the time we finish this, there's going to be a lot more for you."
I shook my head quickly. "I thank you for the offer, and I thank you for allowing me the opportunity to be involved with such an intricate operation, but I'm afraid I cannot stay. I have... business elsewhere."
He nodded understandingly. (Funny how Sota's the only one who can stop thinking about himself and see other people's situations...) "I see." He opened his laptop and brushed away sawdust. The whole idea of a rental office was still a bad one. The place still looked crappy. "So, shall I open an account for you and transfer the money?"
"Hell no." I had to smile. "Cash."
Sota grinned also and pulled out a suitcase, opening it for me to examine. Five million yen in paper. "As I thought. Smart man."
I was going to miss these men in suits.
----
I do have my driver's license, I've always had it, but I never found it imperative to obtain a car of any kind. Hello, there is nothing wrong with public transport.
Of course I wasn't going to buy a car now, don't act silly. Rental cars are just as useful.
The suitcase went into the back seat, along with a duffel bag stuffed with some trousers, some assorted shirts, toiletries, and a Operation Ivy t-shirt that Yuuki gave me two days after we first had sex.
I felt something vibrating at my hip, and I put my phone to my ear. "What is it, Kaiba?"
I could hear his smirk over the phone. "There is, my dear Jou, a serious difference between the number of times Yuuki has taken you and the number of times that I have done so. I would very much like to solve for that problem."
I growled. "What? What is this? Is sex just another thing to compete at? Is it completely meaningless to you?"
"Oh don't preach," he snapped. "You've allowed Yuuki to have you almost every hour of every day."
"Maybe," I noticed that my voice was rising, "I wasn't interested in fucking you at the top of every hour because I wanted to have something sacred to share with you. Ever consider that?"
I could tell that he refused to buy the concept that he was clueless. "Shut up, inu. Don't give me that 'sacred love' bullshit, okay? It's become obvious by this point that you don't give a shit about either of us."
"How insightful."
"Look, I'm coming over in ten minutes."
"You can forget that. I won't be there. For a very long time."
He started to snarl. "Then where are you?"
"You don't need to know."
"Excuse me? You are MINE, make inu."
I rolled my eyes. "Just for calling me a dog, I am most definitely not yours."
"Don't you ever speak to me in that way -- "
"Or what? You can't do shit to me." I took a very deep breath. "You're ridiculously hot, Kaiba. And I do harbor some feelings for you. But you're cold, creepy, and possessive. Don't try to call me again." I hung up.
Three seconds later, the phone rang again. I checked the caller ID and saw that it was Kaiba, persistent still. "Pompous ass." I tossed the phone to the ground and swiftly crushed it underneath my feet.
----
I drove throughout Hiroshima, chain smoking and cranking up my Operation Ivy CD. It was an American import that I had gotten for my birthday years ago and never touched again until I met Yuuki. I had this crazy itch to start listening to it now.
All I know is that I don't know, all I know is that I don't know nothing... and that's just fine.
I found Yuuki's home, thanks to godawful assorted directions. I had never been there a day in my life.
I climbed out of the car and ran into the apartment building and up the stairs to number 215. I hammered on the door. "Yuuki! You HAVE to be there! I need to talk to you!"
I heard stumbling and swearing and in five seconds, Yuuki threw open the door, in nothing but a pair of boxers. He looked as though he had just climbed out of bed. (Or in his case, a very comfortable bean bag.) "Katsuya, what are you doing here?"
I pushed past him and slammed the door behind me. I turned to see his own shocked expression, and I took a very deep breath, again. "Yuuki, you are without a doubt one of the most amazing men on the face of this planet, and being able to spend any time with you at all is a pure blessing."
He stared. "Katsuya, I have no idea what the hell is going on here. I've got Sota calling me up asking if I was planning to leave the country with you or something because you just took five million yen, a miniscule fraction of what we're making, and jetted out of the operation, and I've got Honda calling me saying that I need to calm you down once I see you cause you're as pissy as hell, and now I'm having Kaiba call me up and threatening to end my life because you essentially called off any relations to him. I LOVE complications, Katsuya, you know this, but right now I cannot take any more drama, okay?"
I had to do it. I had to kiss him. He was just so damn beautiful when he was confused and hopeless.
He pushed me away and forced me onto a chair. "Explain. Now."
I couldn't look at him. "I... I just wanted to kiss you goodbye, that's all."
His jaw dropped to the floor. "What?!"
"I'm leaving. I'm leaving Hiroshima, I'm leaving Domino for good. I'm heading out to Tokyo, I think my friend Yuugi can help me find a place to crash..."
Yuuki stared at me in pure wonder for a few moments. "Are you insane? Have you completely lost it? Why in God's name would you ever want to leave Domino, OR Hiroshima?"
I felt tears form in my eyes, and I didn't bother to hold them back. "I adore you, Yuuki, I simply adore you, but I don't adore you any more or any less than I do Kaiba. I know I can't keep you two waiting, but I can't choose either."
His eyes narrowed and I could see a tear falling down his own cheek. It was as if he couldn't stand to be too close to me, for he moved virtually across the room. From his new proximity, he whispered, "If you truly adore me, then why can't you see that I love you more than he ever will, and that I'll treat you better than he ever could?"
"That's just it, Yuuki," I tried to explain. "You don't love me more than Kaiba does. He cares, I know it, he showed a fraction of it to me in his office that day... but he's just not like you. He's not soft, he's not pleasant. But he cares all the same."
He could only shake his head. "And so your solution is running away."
"I am NOT running away --" I protested.
He now refused to even look at me. "Don't lie to yourself." He held up one middle finger. "Go have fun in Tokyo."
I don't know how I could have seen my way out of that apartment building through my tears, but I apparently made it in one piece, because I found myself crying in the car while it rained. Suddenly, I felt really bad for Kaiba.
----
I'm pretty sure that if I told Shizuka, she wouldn't have taken the news well. But I couldn't bring myself to admit to her that I was some sort of coward, so I left a note at her mother's house. Shut up. I know it was messed up. Would you prefer that I e-mail her?
I had sincerely thought that I was going to enjoy the drive by myself out to Tokyo. I had sincerely thought that a long, lonely road trip would help me realize myself, and possibly realize who I truly loved. Perhaps I was experiencing pure naivete while I was planning my escape, because as I left Hiroshima in that rental car, I realized that the damage I had just caused was simply irreversible.
Even if I thought that I truly loved Kaiba, there was no way that I could fairly make him tolerate me after what I said to him. And Yuuki wouldn't possibly take me either, I had broken him beyond repair.
I drove, not containing an ounce of the happy or the relief that I expected would result of my actions. Tokyo was no longer a shelter or utopia, but a dead end that I had forced myself to. And there was no changing any of it.
Perhaps I will find someone new. Perhaps I can forget everything I did to those two beautiful men in suits.
But for now, all I can do is cry my way to a new home, and new beginnings.
[end.]
A/N: Oh my GOD! That was the second saddest ending I've ever written. (cheappluggoreadblazingstarnow!cheapplug) It made me sad just thinking of the concept... Jou can't decide between Yuuki OR Seto and decides that running away will solve for the problem, pushing them both away. (sniff) Toooooo sad for me. But on a happier note, alternate endings are coming soon. Guess what the first one's gonna be? Come on, just guess. Guess, damn it! And while you're at it, review! Now!
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill
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Nine: Men In Suits
--------------
I don't know why I did what I did, but I did it, and there is nothing I can do now to change it.
It's kind of sad, really.
I spent the next three days in my room with a questionable amount of brew, listening to a mix CD that Yuuki made me a few days after we met, and examining a Rolex that Kaiba bought for me two weeks ago. I only left three times a day to swallow something solid or to use the restroom.
I remember hearing people, sometimes Yuuki, sometimes Kaiba, sometimes even Sota, coming by every now and then, asking where I was. Honda would say the same, I was locked in my room and nobody could get in. Kaiba had grumbled something about me being a drama queen, and Yuuki asked if Honda could tell me that he was sorry. Is it possible to love them both too much?
The fourth day I pulled apart my curtains for the first time and saw the sunrise. I was taken aback by the simple, cheap, natural beauty of the oranges and reds and purples in the sky, greater than any acid trip.
What's in your head? What's in your head? Zombie, zombie, zombie, hey hey...
I walked out of my room tentatively, continuously soaking in the image of the world outside of those four walls. Honda and Shizuka were on the couch, watching television. The moment he spotted me his arm flew off of her shoulders. Good man. (I could've sworn that I saw him stash away something small and plastic. I chose to ignore it for Honda's sake.)
Shizuka brightened immediately upon seeing me alive and well. She jumped up from the couch and somehow flew directly into my arms. "Big brother! I am so glad that you're okay!"
My eyebrows nearly touched the ceiling. "Why wouldn't I be okay?" I turned to my roommate. "Honda... what EXACTLY have you been telling my sister?"
He started to sweat nervously, and coughed a bit. "I simply said that you locked yourself up in your room because you were so depressed over Yuuki and Kaiba."
"WHAT?!" I shouted. "You weren't supposed to tell Shizuka... THAT!"
She giggled. "It's okay, brother. I don't care if you're gay. And I won't tell Mom OR Dad."
"It doesn't matter," I grumbled, immediately changing the subject. "I don't give a damn about either of those self-righteous, self-destructive asswipes."
Shizuka gasped audibly. "Don't talk about Mom like that!" she scolded.
"Yeah yeah yeah. I don't like her, she doesn't like me, we made that perfectly clear to you." I examined her shocked reaction. "Oh, come on! How the hell am I supposed to like that bitch? She left me with that drunken, wasted excuse of a father, much less a man!"
Honda jumped to Shizuka's side, under the pretense of comfort. "Come on, Jou. That stuff's ancient history. Can't you just bury it?"
"HELL no," I snapped. I turned and grabbed my ancient green jacket off of the nicely constructed coat rack that Kaiba had sent after the first heist.
"Where are you going?" Honda demanded.
"Out. It's not much of your business." I closed the door behind me before either of them could answer.
----
Sota examined me very carefully over the top of his glasses. Hideaki was standing right by his seat, absentmindedly combing his hand through Sota's dreads. Eiri had gone out for coffee, offering to buy me a latte (I declined), and Akito was nowhere to be seen. "Are you absolutely sure about this, Jonouchi-san?"
"Absolutely."
He smiled softly. "It's hard to imagine that you don't want to ride this whole thing out. Five million yen is quite a bit of money, but by the time we finish this, there's going to be a lot more for you."
I shook my head quickly. "I thank you for the offer, and I thank you for allowing me the opportunity to be involved with such an intricate operation, but I'm afraid I cannot stay. I have... business elsewhere."
He nodded understandingly. (Funny how Sota's the only one who can stop thinking about himself and see other people's situations...) "I see." He opened his laptop and brushed away sawdust. The whole idea of a rental office was still a bad one. The place still looked crappy. "So, shall I open an account for you and transfer the money?"
"Hell no." I had to smile. "Cash."
Sota grinned also and pulled out a suitcase, opening it for me to examine. Five million yen in paper. "As I thought. Smart man."
I was going to miss these men in suits.
----
I do have my driver's license, I've always had it, but I never found it imperative to obtain a car of any kind. Hello, there is nothing wrong with public transport.
Of course I wasn't going to buy a car now, don't act silly. Rental cars are just as useful.
The suitcase went into the back seat, along with a duffel bag stuffed with some trousers, some assorted shirts, toiletries, and a Operation Ivy t-shirt that Yuuki gave me two days after we first had sex.
I felt something vibrating at my hip, and I put my phone to my ear. "What is it, Kaiba?"
I could hear his smirk over the phone. "There is, my dear Jou, a serious difference between the number of times Yuuki has taken you and the number of times that I have done so. I would very much like to solve for that problem."
I growled. "What? What is this? Is sex just another thing to compete at? Is it completely meaningless to you?"
"Oh don't preach," he snapped. "You've allowed Yuuki to have you almost every hour of every day."
"Maybe," I noticed that my voice was rising, "I wasn't interested in fucking you at the top of every hour because I wanted to have something sacred to share with you. Ever consider that?"
I could tell that he refused to buy the concept that he was clueless. "Shut up, inu. Don't give me that 'sacred love' bullshit, okay? It's become obvious by this point that you don't give a shit about either of us."
"How insightful."
"Look, I'm coming over in ten minutes."
"You can forget that. I won't be there. For a very long time."
He started to snarl. "Then where are you?"
"You don't need to know."
"Excuse me? You are MINE, make inu."
I rolled my eyes. "Just for calling me a dog, I am most definitely not yours."
"Don't you ever speak to me in that way -- "
"Or what? You can't do shit to me." I took a very deep breath. "You're ridiculously hot, Kaiba. And I do harbor some feelings for you. But you're cold, creepy, and possessive. Don't try to call me again." I hung up.
Three seconds later, the phone rang again. I checked the caller ID and saw that it was Kaiba, persistent still. "Pompous ass." I tossed the phone to the ground and swiftly crushed it underneath my feet.
----
I drove throughout Hiroshima, chain smoking and cranking up my Operation Ivy CD. It was an American import that I had gotten for my birthday years ago and never touched again until I met Yuuki. I had this crazy itch to start listening to it now.
All I know is that I don't know, all I know is that I don't know nothing... and that's just fine.
I found Yuuki's home, thanks to godawful assorted directions. I had never been there a day in my life.
I climbed out of the car and ran into the apartment building and up the stairs to number 215. I hammered on the door. "Yuuki! You HAVE to be there! I need to talk to you!"
I heard stumbling and swearing and in five seconds, Yuuki threw open the door, in nothing but a pair of boxers. He looked as though he had just climbed out of bed. (Or in his case, a very comfortable bean bag.) "Katsuya, what are you doing here?"
I pushed past him and slammed the door behind me. I turned to see his own shocked expression, and I took a very deep breath, again. "Yuuki, you are without a doubt one of the most amazing men on the face of this planet, and being able to spend any time with you at all is a pure blessing."
He stared. "Katsuya, I have no idea what the hell is going on here. I've got Sota calling me up asking if I was planning to leave the country with you or something because you just took five million yen, a miniscule fraction of what we're making, and jetted out of the operation, and I've got Honda calling me saying that I need to calm you down once I see you cause you're as pissy as hell, and now I'm having Kaiba call me up and threatening to end my life because you essentially called off any relations to him. I LOVE complications, Katsuya, you know this, but right now I cannot take any more drama, okay?"
I had to do it. I had to kiss him. He was just so damn beautiful when he was confused and hopeless.
He pushed me away and forced me onto a chair. "Explain. Now."
I couldn't look at him. "I... I just wanted to kiss you goodbye, that's all."
His jaw dropped to the floor. "What?!"
"I'm leaving. I'm leaving Hiroshima, I'm leaving Domino for good. I'm heading out to Tokyo, I think my friend Yuugi can help me find a place to crash..."
Yuuki stared at me in pure wonder for a few moments. "Are you insane? Have you completely lost it? Why in God's name would you ever want to leave Domino, OR Hiroshima?"
I felt tears form in my eyes, and I didn't bother to hold them back. "I adore you, Yuuki, I simply adore you, but I don't adore you any more or any less than I do Kaiba. I know I can't keep you two waiting, but I can't choose either."
His eyes narrowed and I could see a tear falling down his own cheek. It was as if he couldn't stand to be too close to me, for he moved virtually across the room. From his new proximity, he whispered, "If you truly adore me, then why can't you see that I love you more than he ever will, and that I'll treat you better than he ever could?"
"That's just it, Yuuki," I tried to explain. "You don't love me more than Kaiba does. He cares, I know it, he showed a fraction of it to me in his office that day... but he's just not like you. He's not soft, he's not pleasant. But he cares all the same."
He could only shake his head. "And so your solution is running away."
"I am NOT running away --" I protested.
He now refused to even look at me. "Don't lie to yourself." He held up one middle finger. "Go have fun in Tokyo."
I don't know how I could have seen my way out of that apartment building through my tears, but I apparently made it in one piece, because I found myself crying in the car while it rained. Suddenly, I felt really bad for Kaiba.
----
I'm pretty sure that if I told Shizuka, she wouldn't have taken the news well. But I couldn't bring myself to admit to her that I was some sort of coward, so I left a note at her mother's house. Shut up. I know it was messed up. Would you prefer that I e-mail her?
I had sincerely thought that I was going to enjoy the drive by myself out to Tokyo. I had sincerely thought that a long, lonely road trip would help me realize myself, and possibly realize who I truly loved. Perhaps I was experiencing pure naivete while I was planning my escape, because as I left Hiroshima in that rental car, I realized that the damage I had just caused was simply irreversible.
Even if I thought that I truly loved Kaiba, there was no way that I could fairly make him tolerate me after what I said to him. And Yuuki wouldn't possibly take me either, I had broken him beyond repair.
I drove, not containing an ounce of the happy or the relief that I expected would result of my actions. Tokyo was no longer a shelter or utopia, but a dead end that I had forced myself to. And there was no changing any of it.
Perhaps I will find someone new. Perhaps I can forget everything I did to those two beautiful men in suits.
But for now, all I can do is cry my way to a new home, and new beginnings.
[end.]
A/N: Oh my GOD! That was the second saddest ending I've ever written. (cheappluggoreadblazingstarnow!cheapplug) It made me sad just thinking of the concept... Jou can't decide between Yuuki OR Seto and decides that running away will solve for the problem, pushing them both away. (sniff) Toooooo sad for me. But on a happier note, alternate endings are coming soon. Guess what the first one's gonna be? Come on, just guess. Guess, damn it! And while you're at it, review! Now!