Men In Suits
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill
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Alternate Ending Two.
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"Jou, you are remarkably greedy."
"I am NOT greedy, I am simply very ambitious."
"Did Kaiba feed you that line?"
"Don't bring him into this."
"Awwwww, is Jou getting all defensive for his boyfriend?"
"He is NOT my boyfriend!"
"...Yet."
"You ass. You pompous, arrogant ass!"
"Now, were you referring to me, or to Kaiba's bangin' body?"
"Shut up. Now."
"Ah ha, so you DO admit that you like Kaiba's ass..."
"It's not a crime. I'll have you know that Kaiba has a very nice ass."
"Um... Jou? I don't dig on guys like you do. I didn't need to know that."
"Yeah yeah yeah, I know you're only with Shizuka in order to cover up your thing for Otogi... OW! What the FUCK was that for?!"
"BAKA. I do not like that... poor excuse for a man. Period. Now hurry up with your sack stuffing 'fore we get caught and shot."
I rolled my eyes and threw the strap over my shoulder. "I don't know why you're worried. Yuuki knows what he's doing."
Honda snickered as he hoisted himself out of the basement window. "Proud of him, are you?"
"Shut the FUCK up 'fore I knock you out, son!"
----
Stealing money is fun. Getting drunk is even more fun. Fucking Kaiba Seto (or rather, getting fucked by him) is... slightly less fun. He's really weird about sex.
Okay, let's think of Public Kaiba: arrogant, ignorant, straight foolish, selfish, cold, creepy, and an all-around asshole. (You know it's true.) Compare that to Private Lovey-Dovey Kaiba: gentle, sort-of kind, soft, sincere, generous, caring, and the kind of person that you'd actually want to engage in conversation with. (Too bad I've only seen this Kaiba once or twice.) Now, blend those two Kaibas together and add in alcohol and a bed and you have this strange-ass Kaiba who likes domination and walks on the beach. Does that make much sense to you?
It didn't to me either. It was like the man was fucking bipolar or something. One moment he'd be tying me down with leather straps, and then he'd be caressing my body with some rose he got for me earlier that day. Then he'd slap me around a couple of times (just kidding), which would directly lead to him kissing me whilst whispering something about how he loves me. He would say stuff like, "I love you so damn much, you worthless dog." Yeah. Hard to enjoy.
The funny thing was, while he was in me, something possessed me to say, "I love you too." I saw him smile, sincerely smile, for the first time in my life. It was remarkable, and I really wanted to know why he didn't smile more often. There was no describing that smile in words, and I knew at that very moment that there was no getting around the fact that I truly loved him.
He fell asleep promptly thereafter. I could not. Something was chewing away at me, in the corner of my mind, mocking me relentlessly. There was this one word, a word that refused to go away. "Yuuki."
Damn IT! Can't he just disappear or something?
"No."
Maybe Kaiba can disappear, then.
"No. And you don't want him to, either."
Can't I just forget this whole conflict deal and be happy with them both?
"You could try, but they'd probably gang up on you after a while and kick your ass."
What? No, they wouldn't. They're head over heels for me, they'd never get violent with me, right?
"Bitch, don't act dumb."
You have got some nerve to insult your respective body.
"Yeah yeah yeah, it's all the same."
Don't mock me.
"Can't help the fact that you're a flaming idiot."
Okay, you know what? This has been really drawn out. I'm not going to refer to you anymore.
"Uh huh. I can see you making a note to yourself right now: talk to Yuuki, might have to break it off."
Shut UP. ShutupshutupshutupshutupshutUP.
"Whatever. You know what you have to do."
I said shut up.
----
Yuuki slipped his hand in mine and sighed deeply. "Gods, I love watching the sunrise. It's almost as beautiful as you."
Oh man, what am I doing? I don't want to do anything to hurt Yuuki, but...
He turned to me, worry in his eyes. "Something's wrong, Katsuya. Talk to me."
I refused to look at him. "Yuuki, I don't know how to say this, but I really have to..."
"Yes?" he encouraged.
"I think..."
"Yes?"
"I think that I might be in love with Kaiba."
I could hear his heart drop off of that roof right down to the quiet street below us, shattering to a thousand pieces, never to be put together again. He let go of my hand immediately, as if it were tainted by the simple idea of me ever loving Kaiba. He didn't question me, he didn't ask me to repeat what I said, he only stared, his mouth slightly ajar, his eyes wavering and a small tear forming that I would never see. "You love Kaiba." It was a statement of fact.
I tried to ease the pain. "I'm sorry --"
He nearly scooted further away from me. "Don't apologize. You shouldn't apologize for loving someone." He even forced a smile. "Hey, you guys might even be happy together."
I smiled also, thinking that I was worried for nothing. "You know, I think you and Akito would be really great together." A mistake on my part.
At that point, Yuuki stood up in pure anger. "Don't," he raged, "you ever suggest that I could be happy with anyone else BUT you. I cannot demand that you love me, but I can make sure that you know I love you more than anything else in this pathetic world."
He refused to acknowledge my existence for the rest of that day, and by nightfall, he walked completely out of my life.
----
Many days later, after I established a relationship with Kaiba and began setting up for yet another heist, Sota pulled Kaiba off of my neck and to the side.
"What the hell did you say to Yuuki?" he demanded.
His sudden hostility rubbed me the wrong way. "What the fuck? Can't somebody break it off without people getting all up in your business?"
Sota looked as though he were going to punch me out. "Oh really? Is that all? Because Yuuki came up to my office just 48 hours earlier, took his share of the money, and said he was going to back to Domino."
"Yeah, so? Maybe he was homesick." What? It didn't seem that big of a deal to me.
His lip curled in disgust. "Back to Domino," he snapped, "so he could move his stuff out to America. He's leaving the country, you ass, because he can't tolerate the idea of being in the same country with Kaiba anymore."
"So you want to place the blame entirely on me? I'm sorry, Sota," I snarled right back, "but I can't pretend to love somebody just to keep them in the country."
"Maybe you haven't noticed, Katsuya," he put emphasis on my first name, shocking me slightly at his lack of formality, "but Yuuki is my best friend, and I care about him very much. I also know more about him than you ever will, and I know that a simple break-off would not cause him to leave Japan. So, I will ask you again. What did you say to him?"
I rolled my eyes to the heavens. "I'm sorry that Yuuki is so torn over this, but I love Kaiba. Period. If you're so worried, then go talk to HIM, rather than trying to blame ME." I paused. "Why does it matter so much to you? You're not in love with him, are you?"
Sota looked away and found it imperative to change the subject. "Continue setting up the computers. We've only got a few hours." He walked off to dig some wires out of a box.
I looked after him carefully.
Kaiba walked up, threw an arm over my shoulder, and kissed me deeply. (He was never one for cute little pecks on the cheek... that was more of Yuuki's deal.) "You know what you do?" he muttered.
"What's that?"
"You complete me." He grinned, sincerely now, and got remarkably close, throwing the Palm Pilot in his hand to the couch. (Surmising shouts of protest from Hideaki: "Be careful with that, asshole!" Kaiba only flipped him off.)
I snorted in false contempt and pretended to push him away. "Don't quote Jerry Maguire, you loser."
He pretended to examine me. "You like movies way too much."
"And you read too much Megatokyo... the author's from fucking Wisconsin, he's not even Japanese!" I replied.
He smirked. "So let's work on each other, okay?"
"Fine by me." Oh come on, we all know that Kaiba would forget about it the moment we got back to Domino.
He paused for measure. "I love you, make inu."
I poked him rather playfully, immersing myself completely in the loving puppy role. "Call me that again and I'll kill you, unless..."
"Unless what?" he demanded.
"Unless you put on a suit tonight."
I think you know how that night went.
[alt.end]
A/N: Okay, self-analysis: this one was kind of Yuuki-centric, but you must understand, I have a harder time hurting him than I do Kaiba. Seriously. And it was hard giving him a temper too. Damn it, in my mind he's friggin' perfect... now only if he would materialize right next to me. I think I wouldn't be able to reach the computer for a very, very long time. (Oh, don't act so disgusted, you know it's true.) And it was really hard to do a romantic fluffy deal at the end for Kaiba and Jou, so I settled for a bit of mystery, once again involving Yuuki. DOES Sota have some unresolved feelings for Yuuki? Hmm... that's for the reader to decide, 'cuz I'm not delving any deeper. See you next alternate ending. (Although I think the original was probably the most fitting...) Oh yeah, thanks very much Firevega21... I adore Quentin, he's my idol. He's apparently dating Sofia Coppola... I -guess- I'm okay with that, they would be kind of cute together. Kind of. Some people love actors, I love directors and producers. (My oh my, I think I may be in love with M. Night Shymalan. And Will Smith, he produces. And Spike Lee.) Well, enough about my film obsessions! Review!
A slightly Quentin Tarantino-inspired Yu Gi Oh! fan fic by Heavens to Bikini Kill
--------------
Alternate Ending Two.
--------------
"Jou, you are remarkably greedy."
"I am NOT greedy, I am simply very ambitious."
"Did Kaiba feed you that line?"
"Don't bring him into this."
"Awwwww, is Jou getting all defensive for his boyfriend?"
"He is NOT my boyfriend!"
"...Yet."
"You ass. You pompous, arrogant ass!"
"Now, were you referring to me, or to Kaiba's bangin' body?"
"Shut up. Now."
"Ah ha, so you DO admit that you like Kaiba's ass..."
"It's not a crime. I'll have you know that Kaiba has a very nice ass."
"Um... Jou? I don't dig on guys like you do. I didn't need to know that."
"Yeah yeah yeah, I know you're only with Shizuka in order to cover up your thing for Otogi... OW! What the FUCK was that for?!"
"BAKA. I do not like that... poor excuse for a man. Period. Now hurry up with your sack stuffing 'fore we get caught and shot."
I rolled my eyes and threw the strap over my shoulder. "I don't know why you're worried. Yuuki knows what he's doing."
Honda snickered as he hoisted himself out of the basement window. "Proud of him, are you?"
"Shut the FUCK up 'fore I knock you out, son!"
----
Stealing money is fun. Getting drunk is even more fun. Fucking Kaiba Seto (or rather, getting fucked by him) is... slightly less fun. He's really weird about sex.
Okay, let's think of Public Kaiba: arrogant, ignorant, straight foolish, selfish, cold, creepy, and an all-around asshole. (You know it's true.) Compare that to Private Lovey-Dovey Kaiba: gentle, sort-of kind, soft, sincere, generous, caring, and the kind of person that you'd actually want to engage in conversation with. (Too bad I've only seen this Kaiba once or twice.) Now, blend those two Kaibas together and add in alcohol and a bed and you have this strange-ass Kaiba who likes domination and walks on the beach. Does that make much sense to you?
It didn't to me either. It was like the man was fucking bipolar or something. One moment he'd be tying me down with leather straps, and then he'd be caressing my body with some rose he got for me earlier that day. Then he'd slap me around a couple of times (just kidding), which would directly lead to him kissing me whilst whispering something about how he loves me. He would say stuff like, "I love you so damn much, you worthless dog." Yeah. Hard to enjoy.
The funny thing was, while he was in me, something possessed me to say, "I love you too." I saw him smile, sincerely smile, for the first time in my life. It was remarkable, and I really wanted to know why he didn't smile more often. There was no describing that smile in words, and I knew at that very moment that there was no getting around the fact that I truly loved him.
He fell asleep promptly thereafter. I could not. Something was chewing away at me, in the corner of my mind, mocking me relentlessly. There was this one word, a word that refused to go away. "Yuuki."
Damn IT! Can't he just disappear or something?
"No."
Maybe Kaiba can disappear, then.
"No. And you don't want him to, either."
Can't I just forget this whole conflict deal and be happy with them both?
"You could try, but they'd probably gang up on you after a while and kick your ass."
What? No, they wouldn't. They're head over heels for me, they'd never get violent with me, right?
"Bitch, don't act dumb."
You have got some nerve to insult your respective body.
"Yeah yeah yeah, it's all the same."
Don't mock me.
"Can't help the fact that you're a flaming idiot."
Okay, you know what? This has been really drawn out. I'm not going to refer to you anymore.
"Uh huh. I can see you making a note to yourself right now: talk to Yuuki, might have to break it off."
Shut UP. ShutupshutupshutupshutupshutUP.
"Whatever. You know what you have to do."
I said shut up.
----
Yuuki slipped his hand in mine and sighed deeply. "Gods, I love watching the sunrise. It's almost as beautiful as you."
Oh man, what am I doing? I don't want to do anything to hurt Yuuki, but...
He turned to me, worry in his eyes. "Something's wrong, Katsuya. Talk to me."
I refused to look at him. "Yuuki, I don't know how to say this, but I really have to..."
"Yes?" he encouraged.
"I think..."
"Yes?"
"I think that I might be in love with Kaiba."
I could hear his heart drop off of that roof right down to the quiet street below us, shattering to a thousand pieces, never to be put together again. He let go of my hand immediately, as if it were tainted by the simple idea of me ever loving Kaiba. He didn't question me, he didn't ask me to repeat what I said, he only stared, his mouth slightly ajar, his eyes wavering and a small tear forming that I would never see. "You love Kaiba." It was a statement of fact.
I tried to ease the pain. "I'm sorry --"
He nearly scooted further away from me. "Don't apologize. You shouldn't apologize for loving someone." He even forced a smile. "Hey, you guys might even be happy together."
I smiled also, thinking that I was worried for nothing. "You know, I think you and Akito would be really great together." A mistake on my part.
At that point, Yuuki stood up in pure anger. "Don't," he raged, "you ever suggest that I could be happy with anyone else BUT you. I cannot demand that you love me, but I can make sure that you know I love you more than anything else in this pathetic world."
He refused to acknowledge my existence for the rest of that day, and by nightfall, he walked completely out of my life.
----
Many days later, after I established a relationship with Kaiba and began setting up for yet another heist, Sota pulled Kaiba off of my neck and to the side.
"What the hell did you say to Yuuki?" he demanded.
His sudden hostility rubbed me the wrong way. "What the fuck? Can't somebody break it off without people getting all up in your business?"
Sota looked as though he were going to punch me out. "Oh really? Is that all? Because Yuuki came up to my office just 48 hours earlier, took his share of the money, and said he was going to back to Domino."
"Yeah, so? Maybe he was homesick." What? It didn't seem that big of a deal to me.
His lip curled in disgust. "Back to Domino," he snapped, "so he could move his stuff out to America. He's leaving the country, you ass, because he can't tolerate the idea of being in the same country with Kaiba anymore."
"So you want to place the blame entirely on me? I'm sorry, Sota," I snarled right back, "but I can't pretend to love somebody just to keep them in the country."
"Maybe you haven't noticed, Katsuya," he put emphasis on my first name, shocking me slightly at his lack of formality, "but Yuuki is my best friend, and I care about him very much. I also know more about him than you ever will, and I know that a simple break-off would not cause him to leave Japan. So, I will ask you again. What did you say to him?"
I rolled my eyes to the heavens. "I'm sorry that Yuuki is so torn over this, but I love Kaiba. Period. If you're so worried, then go talk to HIM, rather than trying to blame ME." I paused. "Why does it matter so much to you? You're not in love with him, are you?"
Sota looked away and found it imperative to change the subject. "Continue setting up the computers. We've only got a few hours." He walked off to dig some wires out of a box.
I looked after him carefully.
Kaiba walked up, threw an arm over my shoulder, and kissed me deeply. (He was never one for cute little pecks on the cheek... that was more of Yuuki's deal.) "You know what you do?" he muttered.
"What's that?"
"You complete me." He grinned, sincerely now, and got remarkably close, throwing the Palm Pilot in his hand to the couch. (Surmising shouts of protest from Hideaki: "Be careful with that, asshole!" Kaiba only flipped him off.)
I snorted in false contempt and pretended to push him away. "Don't quote Jerry Maguire, you loser."
He pretended to examine me. "You like movies way too much."
"And you read too much Megatokyo... the author's from fucking Wisconsin, he's not even Japanese!" I replied.
He smirked. "So let's work on each other, okay?"
"Fine by me." Oh come on, we all know that Kaiba would forget about it the moment we got back to Domino.
He paused for measure. "I love you, make inu."
I poked him rather playfully, immersing myself completely in the loving puppy role. "Call me that again and I'll kill you, unless..."
"Unless what?" he demanded.
"Unless you put on a suit tonight."
I think you know how that night went.
[alt.end]
A/N: Okay, self-analysis: this one was kind of Yuuki-centric, but you must understand, I have a harder time hurting him than I do Kaiba. Seriously. And it was hard giving him a temper too. Damn it, in my mind he's friggin' perfect... now only if he would materialize right next to me. I think I wouldn't be able to reach the computer for a very, very long time. (Oh, don't act so disgusted, you know it's true.) And it was really hard to do a romantic fluffy deal at the end for Kaiba and Jou, so I settled for a bit of mystery, once again involving Yuuki. DOES Sota have some unresolved feelings for Yuuki? Hmm... that's for the reader to decide, 'cuz I'm not delving any deeper. See you next alternate ending. (Although I think the original was probably the most fitting...) Oh yeah, thanks very much Firevega21... I adore Quentin, he's my idol. He's apparently dating Sofia Coppola... I -guess- I'm okay with that, they would be kind of cute together. Kind of. Some people love actors, I love directors and producers. (My oh my, I think I may be in love with M. Night Shymalan. And Will Smith, he produces. And Spike Lee.) Well, enough about my film obsessions! Review!