His Sacred Dogma

By the Hippy Gypsy

Chapter 2: Learning to Smile Again

I guess I have the right to say I am not too old, but for my age, I have more vivid memories stored in my mind than any of the men I know. Some I prefer to relive several times a day. Some are so dark and cryptic that I wish I could just suppress them forever. Then there are some memories that are just…well, there.

But one of those memories that I come back to time and time again is the first time I ever allowed myself to bond with Nymphadora. It was such a simple meeting, and yet it was incredible. Never had I thought the common conversation could be so, in a word, phenomenal.

Voldemort had fallen earlier that evening, and Harry Potter had lived. While the boy spent the night in St. Mungo's (his injuries had been indeed taken to a new extent), the rest of the wizarding world stayed up until all hours of the night celebrating. I, myself, didn't find myself in bed until about three p.m. a day later.

At four a.m. that early morning, I found myself sitting on the roof of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. A huge party was happening in the ancient house below, but after a few hours of endless drinks and congratulations on surviving as a spy for Dumbledore, I wanted to retreat and be with my own thoughts. On this particular night, I had a lot to think about. And as I sat there, only slightly inebriated mind you, with only the moon and stars to watch me, I began to do something I hadn't done in a great amount of time.

I prayed.

I had an extensive list of which I wanted to thank the Lord for. Somewhere in an ancient corner of my mind, I added items time and time again. First off, I praised him for my survival. I had no doubt in my mind that Lord had something to do with it. Who in their right mind would want to save a self righteous dark phantom like me but the one who had ultimately created me? Secondly, (and many people find this hard to believe to this day) since the day I had turned spy, I was never forced to kill anyone. Earlier that night, I almost had to strike down Lucius Malfoy, who had found out of my double agent status. But before I had to resort to self-defense and killing a man who had once upon a time been a friend, Mad Eye Moody himself had struck him down with Avada Kedavra. I never really appreciated the old coot until that very moment. Throwing everything of our pasts aside, he had saved me from one of life's dead ends. Constant vigilance I guess. Lastly, I thanked the Lord that although some of my friends were quite injured, everyone I cared about had survived. Dumbledore, Minerva…inside I even had to admit the survival of Potter was a celebrated event. But I kept that fact in my heart and to myself.

The list of course went out with great extent, but for the moment, I was genuinely happy.

I let out a deep sigh and leaned back on the slanted roof, putting my hands behind my head. It was peaceful relaxation, something I had not had the privilege to enjoy for quite sometime. I savored it, but a moment later, I found my silent meditation being interrupted. A head covered in long, shocking blue hair stuck out the window. It was none other than Nymphadora Tonks, and apparently, I was the one she was seeking out.

"There you are," she said warmly. "Wotcher Severus."

"Evening Tonks," I replied, slightly sour I was being interrupted.

She looked as if she didn't want to upset me and said, "I know you want to be alone for the moment, but I was wondering if I could have a word with you for a few minutes."

I raised an eyebrow. It seemed unnatural for her. "Did Albus send you?"

She shook her blue head. "Nope. This has nothing to do with Dumbledore. Just me. And if I don't get this out of my system now, I probably never will. And…" She reached back and pulled out two bottles of butterbeer. "I come bearing gifts."

A gave a chuckle deep in my chest and replied, "I can spare a few minutes."

She climbed out of the window and passed me one of the butterbeers. Sitting next to me, she uncapped her bottle and held it up to the sky. "To the bloody downfall of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

I grinned evilly and said, "Tom Riddle, kiss my ass."

"Amen!" she replied, and we drank.

After a long gulp, I savored the taste, and I looked back at her saying, "You know what? I haven't had one of these in years."

She looked shocked. "That's sad."

"It is." I looked down at the bottle. "So," I went on, "What did you want to speak to me about?"

She seemed to go uneasy for the moment, as if she were trying to not show a certain emotion. But she sighed and continued, "Well, everyone downstairs is congratulating you on your survival. And while I think that's all well and good, and I offer mine as well, I think there's something else that should be said. And I, personally, am going to make sure that I say it at least."

I raised my eyebrow in confusion. "What is that?"

"Thank you."

I blinked a few times, sobering up at a violent rate, and the next time I focused on her, I noticed tears stung her eyes. She stuttered and shivered. "You…you risked your own life and being…for others. And I can hardly imagine the horrors you've lived through…and witnessed, but…every time you did, you did it selflessly." She took a deep breath and one of the tears escaped her eyes. "Because of you, many lives were saved…and many of them are people I love, and I know many of them…if not all of them, would've been lost if it hadn't been for what you've done. I mean, some were lost, like Sirius, but overall, we lived. So…so thank you Severus. Harry Potter may be the one who goes down in the history books…" She placed her hand over her heart and caught her breath. "But in my heart, you will always be a hero to me." By the time she had finished, she was shaking slightly from all of her stressed being released, and tears were freely falling from her eyes.

I couldn't believe my ears, and every word she said made my heart melt. I looked at her, knowing everything she said to me was genuine. I suddenly went soft. "Tonks, don't cry," I said in a low whisper. "It's all over. It's going to be okay now."

"I know," she let out in a shuddering sigh. "But I really wanted to tell you that. I wanted you to know." She wiped her tears away with the back of her hands.

I smiled. "Thank you for telling me."

She looked back at me and replied, "I hope you don't find me forward." And she reached out and kissed my cheek, then wrapped her arms around my neck.

I was completely caught off guard, but after a moment of realization, I let my arms hold her. I suddenly realized how remarkably gentle she was. I had seen her fight in the final battles with the fury of ten men, and never had I seen her so calm and steady until now. It was also at this point I realized she was not a child anymore. The little girl who had once wrecked havoc all over Hogwarts with the strength of the Weasley twins in one, and the child who had once been a ferocious Gryffindor chaser in quidditch, was currently in the circle of my arms. When she had changed, I hadn't noticed, but for the life of me, I was certainly seeing it now.

When she pulled away, I found I very reluctantly let her go. But she sat back and gave a soft, gentle smile which down the line would become quite characteristic for her. I watched as she pushed her long blue hair behind her ears, the breeze of the cool summer night taking some of it. The moon illuminated her, and I came to the conclusion that she truly was the nymph her name eluded to.

Inside, I nodded to myself, and I knew there was no getting around it. Heaven was giving me my reward for all I had done, and Nymphadora was it. Whoever said the Lord gives no reward on earth was a fool and a coward.

I was in love.

"Severus?" she asked me suddenly. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," I replied, raising an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Well…you're staring at me."

With that, my eternal bad habit was born. "Sorry," I quickly apologized, and I shook my head trying to focus.

"Would you like me to leave you alone now?" she asked, slowly beginning to rise.

"No," I said instantly. She was my new infatuation, and I wasn't about to let her get away. Plus, her company was naturally enjoyable. "Stay a while." I leaned back and put my arms behind my head, just as the way she had found me a few minutes earlier. "This is the calmest and most down to earth conversation I've had inside a month. I'm enjoying it."

"I'd believe it," she replied taking a drink from her bottle.

"What's been going on downstairs for the past hour?" I asked trying to make logical conversation.

She took a glance at me. "People have been coming in and out like crazy with news. More and more Death Eaters are being arrested, or found dead. The body count is staggering! I never knew Voldemort had that many supporters. Let's see…Fred and George were juggling butterbeer bottles in the kitchen last I saw. Bill and Fleur keep getting caught snogging in dark corners, but then again it's a celebration, so who could blame them. The portrait of Mrs. Black is screaming so loud in remorse over Voldemort's loss that Remus threw a silencing charm at her, and wouldn't you know it, it worked! O, and speaking of Remus…" Here she began to laugh openly. "Remus is totally foxed on the fire whiskey."

I gave a great burst of laughter. "Remus Lupin? The logical and calm one of the whole damn Order, drunk?"

"I think Remus is beyond drunk by this point," she replied, failing to suppress giggles. "I believe the correct term to use now is 'toasted'."

I leaned back and allowed myself to laugh loudly and freely. I couldn't wait to see what the old werewolf had gotten himself into. It felt good to have the muscles in my face tugging up instead of down. No wonder I had so many wrinkles around my mouth.

"Oh yeah," she continued, blushing ever so slightly, her ears going pink. "And in a fit of my own klutziness, I tripped over that damn umbrella stand again."

I looked up at her, slight concern in my eyes. "Are you sure it's safe for you to be up here then?" I asked. "Last thing we need is for you to fall off the roof and break your neck. You just got out of danger, remember."

She smiled at me. "Don't worry. The house has wards all around it so stuff like that won't happen. Watch."

She picked up the cap to her butterbeer and tossed it to the edge of the roof. It quickly rolled over the edge, and after quite a few seconds of falling, we both heard a distinct clink as it hit the ground. "Well," she said scratching the back of her head and shrugging her shoulders. "It's supposed to have wards that stop stuff like that. That's what matters."

As I shook my head back and forth in amusement, a great cheer came from the house below. Whistles and yelps were let out in triumph, and I was almost positive I heard Hermione Granger shout out, "He's okay!" I turned back and smiled at Nymphadora.

"Looks like some good news just came in," I said.

She grinned back, draining her butterbeer.

We sat that way for the next few minutes in content silence, but it took every bit of patience I had not to stare at her once again. She had thought nothing of it the first time, but if she caught me doing it again once again, an explanation would be needed, and it would be a complete disaster. I was new to this emotions thing. It had been a long time since I let them invade my system.

"Where is he?" a muffled voice suddenly came from just inside the window, and a moment later, Molly Weasley called out, "Severus Snape, where the devil's hell are you?"

"Out here Molly," I called back into the window.

A moment later, Molly's incredibly red head stuck out of the window with a look of confusion on her face. Nymphadora smiled back and said, "Wotcher!"

"There you two are!" she said in exasperation. "Everyone was wondering if you left or whatnot."

I shook my head. "No. Just enjoying the night air and each other's company." Nymphadora nodded in agreement.

"What was all the commotion about earlier Mol?" she asked.

Molly smiled warmly. "Word just came from St. Mungo's. Harry's awake."

"And?" she prodded on, eyes wide.

"He's expected to make full recovery in about two weeks. He's going to be just fine."

Nymphadora gave a great sigh of relief. "Thank the Lord," she whispered, and I got the distinct feeling if it hadn't been for mine and Molly's presence, she would've burst into tears of joy once again.

"Oh, and an owl showed up for you too, Severus," Molly continued returning her eyes to me. "Albus is over at the Ministry with Fudge, and it seems that the Minister requests an audience with you immediately."

"That doesn't surprise me," I replied, and draining the rest of my butterbeer, I made my way back through the window. Nymphadora followed in behind me, and being the gentleman I am, I gave her my hand to hold onto so she wouldn't slip. Sure enough, her toes caught the edge of the sill, and if I had not caught her, she would've been flat faced on the wooden floors.

"Thanks," she said, slightly blushing.

I stretched out my arms behind my back and said, "Molly, did that owl give any hint that a good portion of my time this week will be spent at the Ministry?"

Molly gave me one of her motherly looks and replied, "You know the Minister." With that, she left me and Nymphadora.

"Dammit," was my only replied as my eyebrows furrowed. I was going to be stuck at the Ministry of Magic for quite a while. Sleep and relaxation would have to wait.

As we headed for the stairs in the hallway, Nymphadora said, "Hey, my week's gonna be hell too. If you need a break and feel like lunch one day, just come down to my department and find me." Her eyes focused on me. "We can wallow in endless explanations and paperwork together."

Not expecting this request in the least, I gave a slight grin, and my stomach did an uncharacteristic flip of excitement. She had just asked me to see her again. It was an open invitation. "You know," I said nonchalantly, "I may just take you up on that offer."

She was about to reply with "excellent" when a dark figure suddenly stumbled out of the next room and ran into the wall across from us, trying to catch his balance. When the person stood up again, he turned, revealing the face of Remus Lupin, whose eyes were quite wide, trying their damnedest to focus on us. Nymphadora had not been joking in the least. Remus was undeniably and completely foxed.

She gave a slight giggle and said, "Hi Remus."

"Hi," he replied with a half smile, still trying to become aware of his surroundings. "E'ssup?" he slurred.

It took all of my strength to hold in my laughter. I had never seen anyone so on the run, and yet so happy to be so.

"Remus, dearest," she said taking a cautious step toward him, "I think you've had enough fire whiskey for one night."

If it was possible, Remus' eyes grew even wider, and trying to sound serious, replied with a long, "Nooo…"

"Yes," she said taking his arm and patting his hand. "And I believe it's time you've had some water…or coffee."

"I'd rather have another shot."

"No, Remus."

Unable to control myself any longer, I snorted with laughter and covered my mouth with my hand. I shook with amusement.

"Time for bed Remus," Nymphadora said, with a significant look in my direction. She was trying to keep herself from laughing as well.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes." She began to lead him down the hall, but before she had gotten too far away, she turned back to me and smiled. "Have a good night, Severus." She took a slight breath and breathed, "Thank you again."

I let my head give her a slight bow and I replied warmly, "It was my pleasure."

Down the hall, Remus moaned, "Nooo, Iwannanotder."

Knowing nothing else would come from me being in Grimmauld Place that night, with Nymphadora taking care of a very intoxicated Remus, and I having consumed all the liquor I felt I wanted to ingest for the evening, I made my way to the front door, and walked straight past the odd sight of old Mrs. Black trying to shout at everyone, but no sound coming from her mouth.

I made my way straight to the Ministry, but somehow, I seemed rather lighter in the heart. I could not wait until later in the week when I would visit Nymphadora in her office.

Author's Notes: Well? Review! I'm seriously waiting for criticism on this one! Thanks a lot for reading! [big grin]