Disclaimer: The characters, settings, etc. of the Harry Potter series are not mine. I just play with them.
A Summer at 12 Grimmauld Place
Part Eight
Harry and Ron did not even notice that Severus seemed to be a bit out of sorts when they met for ice cream. They did not notice the cold tone he used when he addressed all of them, how he sat looking irritated and angry with his arms crossed, or how he seemed to spend their entire time at the ice cream parlor scowling down at the table.
Harry and Ron were far too busy going over every tiny detail of the latest Nimbus model to notice much of anything.
"It was a thing of beauty," Ron was saying for the millionth time when they'd all apparated back into the living room of 12 Grimmauld Place. "It was just magnificent."
"All right, Ron," said Hermione as she collapsed into one of the armchairs, "we get it."
"No need to be short, Hermione," said Harry as he settled himself on the couch.
"Yes, well," she said, frowning and watching as Ron seated himself on the couch with Harry and Severus, instead of fleeing the room as she'd expected, chose to sit in the armchair beside hers.
"So," said Ron, "I suppose we didn't ask before, but did the two of you have a nice time?"
Severus snorted in response, so Hermione supposed the narrative was up to her. "Yes," she replied. "Severus bought some books at Flourish and Blotts, and then we went to the Apothecary. And Severus introduced me to the shop owner," Hermione paused here to observe Severus's reaction. She watched as he shifted in his seat.
"Oh?" said Harry. "What's he like?"
"He's very nice. Very funny." Hermione replied, keeping an eye on Severus and seeing him shift once again, his scowl looking even fouler.
"Neat," said Ron, and Hermione watched as he looked at Severus. There was no way he couldn't notice the terrible look on Severus's face. "Are you all right, Professor?"
"Fine, thank you, Weasley," he replied shortly.
"Are you sure, Severus?" Hermione interjected. "You've been acting oddly ever since we left the Apothecary."
Severus turned his head to look at her and sneered. "How I act is no concern of yours, Miss Granger.
Hermione opened her mouth to respond when a voice that belonged to none of the present company said, "Ahem." Hermione looked towards the fire automatically and was not surprised to see Albus Dumbledore's head floating there.
"Well, hello, sir!" Ron greeted him cheerfully.
"Hello, hello," said Dumbledore, smiling slightly. "I am glad all of you are here. It will make this much easier."
"You have news, Headmaster?" Severus said from his chair.
"Yes," said Dumbledore. "I am afraid I do, and it concerns Tom. An emergency meeting is going to be called, and I need all of you to prepare the library for it."
"It's ready, Professor," said Harry. "Nothing's been touched since the last meeting."
"Good, good," said the old man. "Well then, I will see all of you there within ten minutes. The others will be arriving soon, I imagine," he finished, and with that, disappeared from the grate.
Hermione frowned, noticing the sudden chill that seemed to have invaded the room. She would never understand how life could go from being so pleasant to awful in almost no time at all.
Severus stood from his seat immediately after Dumbledore's head had vanished, and Hermione watched as he turned his attention to Harry. "Are you ready, Potter?" he asked, softly.
Hermione looked at Harry and saw that he had gone quite pale. Harry shrugged. "As ready as I will ever be, Professor."
Snape nodded. "Harry," he said, and Hermione nearly gasped. Severus never called him by his first name. "While fear is perfectly natural when one's life is on the line, I cannot deem in necessary in this situation. You are an extraordinarily powerful wizard, and the Dark Lord underestimates your capabilities. While I cannot foretell the outcome of all of this, know that no matter what happens, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You will do your best, and it will be more than any of us could ever ask of you."
And Hermione watched as Severus gave Harry a short nod as he strode quickly from the room.
"Wow," said Ron after they had been sitting in stunned silence for a few moments. "Who knew Snape had that much confidence in you?"
The arrival of the members of the Order of the Phoenix to this particular meeting was far more subdued than any Hermione had ever before witnessed. She supposed they all knew what was coming: the announcement they did not really want to hear.
Harry and Ron took their seats at the center of the room, and for once, Hermione was tempted to join them. She thought that maybe should be with Harry in this time of need, but she knew her place was still in her corner, away from the center of attention.
She watched as the room filled, and Dumbledore took his customary spot before the fire. She watched as Snape slipped in at the last minute, and instead of coming to sit in the last empty seat beside her, stood next to the doorway with his arms crossed before him and his face set in a stony scowl.
"Well," began Dumbledore, "now that everyone has arrived, I imagine it is time to begin. After Severus had been revealed, we were forced to rely more heavily on one of our other spies. This young man has come to us with invaluable information.
"I did not look forward to the day when I would have to inform all of you of what I think will be the largest battle we shall fight against Tom Riddle, but I believe that day has come. Our source has informed me that in three days from now, Tom will attempt to take Hogwarts by force. We will be waiting for him."
Hermione listened carefully as Dumbledore assigned positions to everyone. Harry and Ron, it seemed, would be together for the entire battle, but Dumbledore failed to include her with the group of those who would be fighting. Hermione supposed she would be included with the group who would be helping Madam Pomfrey to care for the injured, but when her name was not included there either, she began to become slightly nervous. Was she to be excluded from the battle entirely?
Finally, Dumbledore came to her assignment. "Miss Granger and Severus shall stay here at the Headquarters for defensive purposes and to care for anyone who turns up. If any of you are injured and cannot make it to the infirmary for whatever reason, you are ordered to return here by way of the portkeys we will distribute before the battle. Miss Granger and Severus will care for you."
Hermione caught herself glaring at the Headmaster. She was being forced to stay behind? Stay behind while her friends, the friends she had come to love as family, went off to fight a war they very likely might not be coming back from? She was outraged! She would not sit by with Snape and to wait out the battle.
She glanced over to where Severus continued to stand by the doorway, his arms still crossed and that scowl seemingly permanently etched onto his face. She suddenly realized why she was being made to stay behind. She was yet to complete her first mission with the Order; she still needed to take care of Severus.
She could imagine what would happen if Severus went off to fight. He would not last a minute out there. Death Eaters were not kind to traitors, and though he had escaped them once after his discovery, it was not necessarily true that he would escape again.
Dumbledore was keeping here so that she might watch Severus and keep him from rushing off to save his loved ones as Sirius had done. Dumbledore was keeping her here for Severus's protection, and while she was still unhappy with the prospect of not being at Harry's side, she would fulfill the task that had been given to her.
Dumbledore went on to explain that a series of meetings would be held over the next few days for final preparations. Those from each group would be summoned to headquarters when their meeting was to be held. With that, the meeting was adjourned, and people gravely began moving about the room.
Harry and Ron nearly ran over to where she sat in her corner. She did not say anything as they threw their arms around her, Ron burying his face against her shoulder, and Harry leaning his forehead against hers. Nothing needed to be said, really, and they sat, rocking back and forth and holding each other as tightly as they could.
Eventually, the house was cleared until Dumbledore remained as the only visitor. After saying good bye to some of the Order, he called Harry and Ron back into the library to go over some important information about the battle, leaving Hermione quite alone.
But Hermione did not want to be alone. In fact, she was quite certain that she was left by herself for any short period of time, she would go mad. So, she decided to set out to find Severus. He'd seemed to be rather uncomfortable around her earlier, but she was too distressed to care much.
After opening almost every door to just about every spare room in the upstairs hallway, Hermione finally came across the room that held Snape. He was sitting before the fireplace in what looked to be the room he had set up to be his lab, nursing a glass of firewhiskey.
"Don't you know how to knock, Granger?" he said in a quiet voice she could only describe as deadly.
"Er, yes," she replied, blushing as she stepped into the room. "I didn't know you'd be in here, though."
He snorted. "Fine. What do you want?"
"Well," she said, shifting from foot to foot and suddenly feeling like a very small girl. "May I have a seat?"
He shrugged, taking a sip from his glass. "I don't care."
Hermione took that as a yes, and scurried across the room, perching herself in the chair that sat across from his. "Are you angry with me?" she asked softly.
"No," he replied shortly.
"Then will you explain to me why you are treating me so coldly?"
He glared at her. "No."
"Then am I allowed to guess?" she asked.
"Granger, do me a favor and shut up," he said loudly, nearly yelling.
"Is it about the battle?" she asked, ignoring him.
"No!" he roared. "It's not about the bloody battle, and it's not about being left behind, if that's your next question. It's not about Potter or Weasley, either."
"Then," said Hermione, gulping. "Is it about me?"
"No," he growled, his voice dropping in volume to a whisper. "It's about me."
"Oh," she said softly, looking down at the frayed edged on the arm of her chair.
He sighed and she heard him take another sip from his glass. "How old are you anyway?"
"Um," said Hermione, thinking. It was now the end of July, and her birthday was a little less than two months away. "I'll be eighteen in less than two months," she said.
"A complicated way of telling me you're seventeen, I suppose," he said.
"I suppose," Hermione echoed, watching as he drained the last of the firewhiskey from his glass, and poured himself another from the bottle sitting on the coffee table.
"You're practically a child," he said softly.
"Well, I suppose, but, technically, I am not a child," Hermione said, feeling her indignation rise at his words.
"Technically not, of course. But just barely, correct?" he said, keepings his eyes on his glass.
"I suppose," Hermione admitted quietly.
He laughed then, a cold and hollow laugh. "Why do you think it happened?"
"Why do I think what happened?" she asked, not following him at all.
"I think it's because you were kind to me," he went on, ignoring her as if she had not spoken at all. "I think it's because you are the first woman – no, girl - in many years who has simply been kind to me because you wanted to do so and not because you wanted to use me for something." He sighed as he lifted the glass to his lips and took a sip. "All of the others. They all used me."
"What?" said Hermione, still not understanding.
"You worried about me. You worried when you didn't see me for a few days," he paused to lift his gaze to meet hers. "Do you remember? In the library, you asked where I'd been."
"Right," said Hermione, nodding her head. "Right, I remember."
"And that was it," Severus said, looking away from her, sighing, and waving the glass slightly in the air. "That was bloody well it."
"And that was what?" Hermione said.
"And then. Oh and then I heard you talking to Potter, of course, and that just strengthened my resolve. I thought it was so ridiculous, my hoping that those smiles and little looks might actually mean what I thought they did. And then I heard you speaking with Potter, and I thought that maybe you might teach me something more about hope that what I already thought I knew."
"What did you know?" Hermione asked softly.
"Hope is futile. I can hope and hope for some good to come to me to, but not matter how much I hope or believe it possible, it never is. Hope is pointless. Because as soon as you start hoping, shopkeepers called Marcus decide to muck it up," he finished and took the final sip from his glass.
"Oh," Hermione sighed, finally understanding why he had been acting so cold towards her. He hadn't seen the humor in Marcus's words. No, Severus had only seen what Marcus had indirectly said: Severus was old enough to be her father. "Oh, Severus."
His eyes snapped up to meet hers again. "Get out of here, Hermione," he said softly, his voice steely. "Just leave," he said, the sound of defeat heavy in his words.
Hermione did not protest. She stood quietly from her seat and made her way over to the door, where she paused and looked back to him. He sat, staring at the chair she had been sitting in. "I will see you later, Severus," she said softly, wondering why it sounded like a promise.