Title: The Empty Space
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls, the characters, or the WB. And if I did would I be here writing fan fiction? ;)
Dedication: To the lovely reviewers at Stars-hollow.org who were so kind, helpful and sweet. Especially Lorena, Arianna, Jenz, Shannon, Kelly and stargazer. *hugs* I hope to see you around here for the revised version. :)
A/N: Thank you for such positive feedback and being so clear. You have no idea how much it helps. Jess your suggestion will probably show up sometime in the story. I don't remember everything that happens. ;/ Thank you for your helpful review. :D
I'm sorry this chapter took so long (longer than it should have, especially for the even shorter length) It will be made up. ;) This is the revised version of a finished fic that is up at Stars-Hollow.org ~ Stephanie
Please R&R.
Chapter Six: California, Here I Go
It was four days after the break up with Kate, and over the past few days, they had rekindled their friendship. There were times when they would stand in silence, awkwardly, both thinking about what was past, and what was present. And sometimes it killed her to keep her silence. But she knew that in the end, it would be best.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, a question echoed. For who… for who…
-
She sat on the corner of his bed, watching as he packed yet another haul of books. She added them to the past calculation; the result: twenty-two. "Do you really need all these books?" she asked. As the words came out of her mouth, her eyes met the pile of cds, waiting to be packed. "And all those cds?"
He shrugs, "Can't leave without the books and the cds." It ties knots in her stomach unexpectedly. It sounded so final.
She doesn't let it show. But folds her hands on her lap as she continues to watch him. "Fine, pack all you want." The room was filled with an uncomfortable silence. In her head, she was screaming.
"So… what's your master plan, Jess?" she asked, rather awkwardly, trying to make the situation light.
"I'm staying with Luke for a few days, and then I'll… find her?"
"Was that a statement or a question?" she asks.
"I don't know," he replies. "I don't know if she's in Stars Hollow. I don't know where she's living. I don't know if she's in New York or in some foreign country with wars going off in the damn background!" He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated.
"My God, take a breath. I'm sure it'll be fine."
He nods and ends the conversation. He packs the rest of his belongings. Stupidity sinks in for awhile, before he dismisses it. He sits on his bed and stares off into the empty space. A sigh slips out from the corner of his lips.
She takes this as a hint and says, "I'll leave you alone for a bit. Meet me downstairs."
He can hear something in the back of his mind, but he doesn't make it out. The shut of the door shakes him a little, pulling him out of a short trance. He sighs and shakes his head, feeling out of his mind.
There was no question that he could not stay here. He had moved on. He had begun another life and developed into a serious relationship. But the past moved on with him. It haunted him and watched in a dark corner, waiting for the perfect moment to reveal to him that he had been deceived.
It was crazy that after a full seven years he would return to the place where it all started. After seven years of silence he would go back and try to work things out. He hated that it took him so long.
-
He carried his one duffel bag in one hand, and a map in another. As Kate's eyes met his she automatically gave him a reassuring smile. He tried his best to return a smile.
"You ready to go?" she asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. 'This didn't have to be a big deal,' she thought. 'Not if I don't make it out to be.' It was just another lie she told herself from breaking down.
"Yeah," he breathes. "I think so." They stand and look at each other, face to face, silent. These were the type of silences that were eerie to both. Neither knew how to begin talking without making their voices sound so rushed.
Without any warning, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and buried her head into his shoulder. He drops his possessions and returns the gesture, as best as he possibly could. He knew this type of gesture. He knew his role; he simply wasn't very good at it.
Soft sobs could be heard from her as she tightened her grip. "Hey," he says as he pulls back. "Don't cry," he finishes nervously, looking at her with a weak smile.
She half sobs and half laughs, but then gives him the smallest of smiles. "I'm sorry," she says. "So sorry," she apologizes, again and again. "It's just hard," she tells him.
He nods in a understanding way, his stomach tightening. He thinks she might say more but she doesn't. "I should probably go."
"Yeah, you should," she replies; her opportunity has passed.
He retrieves his duffel bag and map and takes a deep breath. "Thank you," he says, genuinely.
She smiles softly and wipes away her tears. "Goodbye Jess."
"Goodbye Kate."
Unexpectedly she kisses him on the cheek. "Go make yourself happy," she whispers. He can tell by her smile that it is bittersweet.
With one last goodbye, he is out the door. He can feel her eyes watching him through the window, but he decides not to look back. It's in the past now.
He loads his car and then slips into his seat. With the turn of his key, and the roar of the engine, he can feel a surge of energy run through his veins. It's indescribable, but it exists. And it's all he needs.