"...the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses..."
Alex sat in the back of the lab, listening to Professor Snape enthrall a class of first-year Slytherins and Gryffindors. The students were silent, listening intently, caught up in the words of the speech. He's good. Wow. Look at these kids, they all want to be potions masters now.
The spell was broken as Snape ended his speech with an insult. "Bunch of air headed ninnies," he commented.
There followed a mad flurry of note-taking as Snape ran through about thirty of the more common potion ingredients, his rapid-fire delivery of information interspersed with more insults and sarcastic remarks. Soon the students were paired up, attempting to brew a cure for shingles. The potions master stalked among them. His passage through the room caused ripples of nervousness to spread out ahead of him. He left consternation and more than a few tears in his wake. Push 'em to the breaking point... and sometimes beyond, Alex reflected as a dark, reed-thin Slytherin girl dissolved into tears over a cauldron of scalded brew. Real old-school wizarding methods. She shrugged. It wasn't exactly pretty, but it worked, with most kids. Alex noted that Snape didn't look as pale and exhausted as he had when they first met. The greasy hair, though, seemed to be a permanent fixture.
All too soon it was her turn to stand at the front of the class, with Professor Snape lurking in the back, observing. The fourth-years filed in, laughing and talking. It was their second class with Alex, her first being observed by Snape. "Miss Hawthorne, don't even think of sitting next to Miss Wallace," she said pleasantly. The girl grimaced and moved her seat. "You three," she remarked to a group of boys, "up front. Don't give me the ol' innocent look, Mr. Davies. Despite appearances, I wasn't born yesterday."
She finished taking the role and launched into the lesson Snape had planned. Her style was radically different from his. The atmosphere in the classroom was relaxed. A bit too relaxed, Alex realized. "Mr. Davies. You prefer the sound of your own voice to mine ?" she queried mildly. He stopped talking a heartbeat too late. "Oh, you do ? Well, I doubt your friends in Ravenclaw will appreciate your loquaciousness when they realize you have cost your house ten points." The Ravenclaws in the room glared at Davies. Alex turned back to the blackboard. The classroom was silent except for the scratching of quill pens on parchment as she finished the lecture.
"Today's potion is an antidote for the Supercilium curse. The one that makes your eyebrows grow ?" she paused for the inevitable laughter to die down. "Now, the trick to this is to bring the potion just to a simmer, and keep it there. Don't let it boil," she cautioned, giving one of the girls a significant look. The students got to work. Alex moved among them, occasionally offering advice. Things are going pretty well... Uh-oh.
A Slytherin with the unfortunate name of Hugh Daley-Bender was frantically stirring his cauldron. His partner looked on nervously. Snape had noticed too, Alex saw. He glided from the back of the room to get a better view of the impending disaster. Alex moved to the boy's side. His potion was a mess. Instead of a sparkling green liquid, he had somehow produced a yellowish substance with the same texture and odor as vomit. She stepped back a bit. The fumes were enough to make her gag. "Whoa, Mr. Bender, how much powdered goldenrose did you put in there ?"
"Um, a pound," the boy said. He scanned the recipe. "Oh, shit," he muttered, then blushed furiously when he realized he had spoken the curse out loud. "Sorry, oh, shit, it was supposed to be a pinch. Sorry, oh, shit, sorry !" he stammered.
"Well, you've realized your mistake," Alex said cheerfully. "Calm down, we can fix this." Please, kid, please stop swearing and get a grip before Snape docks you fifty points and runs off to get me fired. She stared at the noxious mass in the cauldron, at a loss. How the heck are we going to fix this ?
"There's no way this can be fixed. I ruined it," the boy said frantically, echoing Alex's thoughts. "Gods, I'm going to fail potions again. I am so stupid !"
"Um. No you're not. Look, try adding some more billberry juice," she suggested, keeping her voice calm.
Daley-Bender ignored her, still trying to stir the rapidly-congealing mess. "What kind of idiot puts in a pound instead of a pinch ? I'm a moron. I'm going to fail," he muttered.
The boy was working himself up into a fit of self-loathing. His brain wasn't going to process any information other than the litany of insults he was currently reciting. Alex knew how he felt; she done the same thing to herself often enough. Damn. And here comes Professor Snape to confirm the kid's opinion that he's the world's biggest dunderhead. The potions master had one of his gold-medal glares fired up. Goldenrose wasn't the most expensive ingredient in the world, but as the name implied, it wasn't cheap either, and poor Daley-Bender had just wasted a pound of it.
"Shut up," Alex said sharply. The boy did, looking startled. "Bibendum," she commanded, sticking the tip of her wand into the mess. With a loud slurp, the goo in the cauldron was sucked up into the wand. "Miss Hawthorne, set this down on my desk, please," she requested, handing the wand to Bender's partner cautiously. "Don't drop it. Mr. Bender, clean out the cauldron, if you would."
"Uh, oh... okay. Scourgify," he cried, waving his wand. Mercifully, the spell worked.
"You should have just enough time before the bell to brew the potion correctly. Miss Hawthorne, assist Mr. Bender, please."
"Thank you, Miss Rose," Bender stammered.
Alex didn't reply. She was looking intently at Severus Snape, standing less than six feet away. If you even try looming over this kid right now, I'll kick you in the shin, she thought hard at him. He arched an eyebrow at her but did not advance on the boy. Instead he turned to young Davies and made a comment. The talkative student blushed to the roots of his hair.
The class ended without further incident. The students began to file out. "Miss Hawthorne, Mr. Bender, remain behind," Professor Snape ordered. Reluctantly, the two fourth-years approached him. "You will each serve detention here on Thursday evenings until I deem that you have worked off the cost of the ingredient you wasted today," he said sternly. "You stood by and allowed your partner to make an error," he snapped when Honoria Hawthorne seemed about to protest. "You are not illiterate, are you ? Well then, you share the blame. Dismissed." The students scurried away, Daley-Bender casting Alex a grateful look as he went out the door.
That wasn't so bad. Ooh, goody, I'm gonna get the ol' looming treatment. To her surprise, Snape crossed to the desk instead and picked up her wand, holding it gingerly in two long, tapered fingers.
"And what exactly do you intend to do with this ?"
Alex watched Severus Snape worriedly. The wand was already beginning to leak vomit-scented fumes. "Well, I was going to try and salvage the goldenrose, but on second thought, I think I'll just dump it in the nearest toilet. As soon as possible. Just set the wand down and step away, would you please ?" To her relief, he complied. Probably doesn't want to get splattered with yellow vomity crud any more than I do.
"I don't appreciate your cheek, Miss Rose."
She tried and failed to stifle a giggle. There's another phrase that just doesn't translate well. Snape was looking at her, clearly annoyed. Then he suddenly snorted and walked away. Alex was almost sure he had laughed, just then. On the desk, her wand gave an ominous gurgle. True to her word, the little witch grabbed it and ran for the bathroom.
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Author's notes: The quote at the beginning of this chapter is from J.K. Rowling – Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone. Snape's speech. It's so good, I figure he'd use it from year to year.