Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will. It all belongs to the one and only
Tolkien.
Author's notes: I am a really slow updater so sorry to anyone who for some reason is reading this fanfic. This chapter will include my nose hair dying idea, don't know how that will turn out but I'll give it a go, wish me luck!!!!! Big thank you to anyone who has ever reviewed this story.
Chapter 4: Nose hair dyeing.
Merry and Pippin had been wandering around for a while. They hadn't found much, just a of group of dwarves betting on how many elves they could give wedgies to and a lot of passed out men and elves. But they soon cheered up as they heard Frodo and Legolas's voices coming from the bathroom.
"The colour of your nose hair is the most important feature on your face, you can't ignore it."
"But I really think I should get a second opinion before I take such a big step, the colour might clash with my eye colour" Frodo argued.
"I have blue eyes as well and my nose hair colour looks perfect with it, believe me Frodo, it will do wonders for your nose shape and it will match the colour of hair on your feet." Legolas assured him.
Merry and Pippin exchanged looks, they didn't know Frodo was so obsessed with his looks.
"Well you are an elf, I suppose you know best, just don't let the dye stain my skin, I have a flawless complexion, I'd rather not have it ruined."
"I agree, what facial wash do you use? You haven't got a single spot, even I have to fight to keep my baby smooth skin." Legolas asked as he got to work preparing the dye.
Merry and Pippin were able to open the door slightly so that they could peer through the crack. They saw Legolas and Frodo wearing white bathrobes; both of them had their hair wrapped in a towel. Legolas was wearing a facemask and Frodo was sitting on the toilet seat.
"I use a specially imported one from Lorien, I heard its Lady Galadriel's own home made one" Frodo answered.
Pippin and Merry slid into the bathroom. Legolas was washing his hands, preparing to start the process. Merry and Pippin started to work on an idea, the hobbit and elf had their backs to the invisible hobbits as Merry and Pippin added the bathroom bleach to the nose hair dye. They put the bottle of bleach down just in time as Legolas turned around to apply the dye.
As Legolas got to work Merry and Pippin slid out of the bathroom, they would see the finished result at dinner. "How long must I leave the dye on for?" Frodo asked.
"15 minutes then you must wash it out." Legolas answered as Merry and Pippin ran off down the hall.
Merry and Pippin stopped running when they got round the corner.
"Frodo would kill us if he finds out." Pippin managed between giggles.
"But he wont. I never knew how vain he was, now he's gonna get blonde nose hair." Merry said while laughing. "Who shall we annoy now?"
Pippin's eyes clouded over. "There's a certain ranger who deserves a couple of apples."
"Ahhh sweet revenge, why not, we need to collect some apples from the kitchen," Merry said and turned towards the direction of the kitchen, "and I haven't had breakfast yet."
The hobbits ran off to the kitchen for food and supplies.
A while later they were outside and up a tree. Pippin was on look out and Merry was rubbing a bump that was on his forehead.
"Does it still hurt?" Pippin asked.
"Yes Pip, when you get hit on the head with a saucepan it takes a while to heal."
"You don't think the cook could see us do you Merry?
"Nah, she just got a lucky hit, she was swinging that thing around and shouting about ghosts, lucky she knocked herself out really, no one will believe her." He assured Pippin.
"Look, here he comes." Pippin got an apple ready to aim, he was about to throw it as Aragorn came into sight but Merry grabbed his arm. Pippin looked at him slightly confused.
"Wait, let's see what he does on his own." Merry whispered. They both sat silently watching Aragorn.
Aragorn sat down on the grass leaning against the tree that Merry and Pippin sat in. He pulled out a diary and a pen.
"Dear Diary.." He spoke as he wrote. "Today I encountered Gandalf, he cared not for my feelings and the harsh words he spoke to me last night, yes he did apologise but only because I am a life long member to the Pipe weed association and get 2 free barrels of it whenever I please, stupid, gay wizard got chucked out of the club when he took advantage of the free pipes and took 450 of them, I mean who the hell in all of Middle Earth needs 450 pipes, whenever I asked him I just got the "do not question the actions of a wizard" crap, he's nothing without his staff. Anyway, the party last night was ok, Elrond always embarrasses me in front of crowds, I mean I've grown out of borrowing Arwen's dresses now but he always has to remind me. Arwen and me are going ok, she's stopped stealing my horse and she takes Glorfindel's now. Recently I've been having these really weird dreams, not the ones with the dancing dragons and stripping dwarves, this one is about this really big hole that Gandalf falls into after he tries to do the tango with a fiery demon. If only it actually happened, he doesn't appreciate my friendship, I mean I listened to him and gave him advice when he broke up with Saruman, it's not my fault that when I got him to go and try to make up with him, Saruman kept him captive, he's been ignoring me since he escaped.
There's a big meeting that's going to happen soon, probably something to do with the hobbits and the ring. Legolas is here because of it, haven't been able to speak to him much, I need to see if he can score me some free Mirkwood wine, he owes me after I took the blame after we got drunk while I was staying at Mirkwood, I passed out but he covered the whole palace with toilet paper, his father was furious, but I'm such a good friend, I took the blame, got kicked out of Mirkwood and was given a 2 year ban for that."
All three of them jumped as they heard a scream coming from inside, it sounded like a very Frodo like scream. Merry and Pippin grinned at each other. Aragorn closed his diary and got up to run inside to see what was wrong. As he ran Merry and Pippin began to pelt the apples at him, he began to flail his arms to try and block the apples. Merry tossed Pippin the last apple; Pippin aimed the apple and hit Aragorn right on the head.
"Bulls eye!" Pippin shouted gleefully when Aragorn was out of hearing distance; he gave Merry a high 5.
"Good shot." Merry said approvingly.
"Why, thank you, what shall we do now?"
"I'm feeling kind of tired, maybe we should sleep and then get some lunch." Merry suggested.
"Great idea." Pippin agreed as they climbed down the tree. Pippin lay down and stretched out in the sun.
"Wait Pip," Pippin looked confused, "we'll have to sleep in the shade or we'll cast a shadow in the sun." Merry pointed at Pippin's shadow.
"Very clever Merry, we don't want to get caught." Pippin rolled over into the shade the tree was supplying. Merry lay down next to him and they were soon both asleep and dreaming of female elves and food.
End Still not that funny dammit, but I suppose I'm getting there slowly. Don't know who Merry and Pippin are going to spy on next so if you have a request I'll try to do it, but that would mean you would have to review and tell me (hint, hint). I also need ideas for pranks and stuff Merry and Pippin is going to do. Please, please, please review!!!
Author's notes: I am a really slow updater so sorry to anyone who for some reason is reading this fanfic. This chapter will include my nose hair dying idea, don't know how that will turn out but I'll give it a go, wish me luck!!!!! Big thank you to anyone who has ever reviewed this story.
Chapter 4: Nose hair dyeing.
Merry and Pippin had been wandering around for a while. They hadn't found much, just a of group of dwarves betting on how many elves they could give wedgies to and a lot of passed out men and elves. But they soon cheered up as they heard Frodo and Legolas's voices coming from the bathroom.
"The colour of your nose hair is the most important feature on your face, you can't ignore it."
"But I really think I should get a second opinion before I take such a big step, the colour might clash with my eye colour" Frodo argued.
"I have blue eyes as well and my nose hair colour looks perfect with it, believe me Frodo, it will do wonders for your nose shape and it will match the colour of hair on your feet." Legolas assured him.
Merry and Pippin exchanged looks, they didn't know Frodo was so obsessed with his looks.
"Well you are an elf, I suppose you know best, just don't let the dye stain my skin, I have a flawless complexion, I'd rather not have it ruined."
"I agree, what facial wash do you use? You haven't got a single spot, even I have to fight to keep my baby smooth skin." Legolas asked as he got to work preparing the dye.
Merry and Pippin were able to open the door slightly so that they could peer through the crack. They saw Legolas and Frodo wearing white bathrobes; both of them had their hair wrapped in a towel. Legolas was wearing a facemask and Frodo was sitting on the toilet seat.
"I use a specially imported one from Lorien, I heard its Lady Galadriel's own home made one" Frodo answered.
Pippin and Merry slid into the bathroom. Legolas was washing his hands, preparing to start the process. Merry and Pippin started to work on an idea, the hobbit and elf had their backs to the invisible hobbits as Merry and Pippin added the bathroom bleach to the nose hair dye. They put the bottle of bleach down just in time as Legolas turned around to apply the dye.
As Legolas got to work Merry and Pippin slid out of the bathroom, they would see the finished result at dinner. "How long must I leave the dye on for?" Frodo asked.
"15 minutes then you must wash it out." Legolas answered as Merry and Pippin ran off down the hall.
Merry and Pippin stopped running when they got round the corner.
"Frodo would kill us if he finds out." Pippin managed between giggles.
"But he wont. I never knew how vain he was, now he's gonna get blonde nose hair." Merry said while laughing. "Who shall we annoy now?"
Pippin's eyes clouded over. "There's a certain ranger who deserves a couple of apples."
"Ahhh sweet revenge, why not, we need to collect some apples from the kitchen," Merry said and turned towards the direction of the kitchen, "and I haven't had breakfast yet."
The hobbits ran off to the kitchen for food and supplies.
A while later they were outside and up a tree. Pippin was on look out and Merry was rubbing a bump that was on his forehead.
"Does it still hurt?" Pippin asked.
"Yes Pip, when you get hit on the head with a saucepan it takes a while to heal."
"You don't think the cook could see us do you Merry?
"Nah, she just got a lucky hit, she was swinging that thing around and shouting about ghosts, lucky she knocked herself out really, no one will believe her." He assured Pippin.
"Look, here he comes." Pippin got an apple ready to aim, he was about to throw it as Aragorn came into sight but Merry grabbed his arm. Pippin looked at him slightly confused.
"Wait, let's see what he does on his own." Merry whispered. They both sat silently watching Aragorn.
Aragorn sat down on the grass leaning against the tree that Merry and Pippin sat in. He pulled out a diary and a pen.
"Dear Diary.." He spoke as he wrote. "Today I encountered Gandalf, he cared not for my feelings and the harsh words he spoke to me last night, yes he did apologise but only because I am a life long member to the Pipe weed association and get 2 free barrels of it whenever I please, stupid, gay wizard got chucked out of the club when he took advantage of the free pipes and took 450 of them, I mean who the hell in all of Middle Earth needs 450 pipes, whenever I asked him I just got the "do not question the actions of a wizard" crap, he's nothing without his staff. Anyway, the party last night was ok, Elrond always embarrasses me in front of crowds, I mean I've grown out of borrowing Arwen's dresses now but he always has to remind me. Arwen and me are going ok, she's stopped stealing my horse and she takes Glorfindel's now. Recently I've been having these really weird dreams, not the ones with the dancing dragons and stripping dwarves, this one is about this really big hole that Gandalf falls into after he tries to do the tango with a fiery demon. If only it actually happened, he doesn't appreciate my friendship, I mean I listened to him and gave him advice when he broke up with Saruman, it's not my fault that when I got him to go and try to make up with him, Saruman kept him captive, he's been ignoring me since he escaped.
There's a big meeting that's going to happen soon, probably something to do with the hobbits and the ring. Legolas is here because of it, haven't been able to speak to him much, I need to see if he can score me some free Mirkwood wine, he owes me after I took the blame after we got drunk while I was staying at Mirkwood, I passed out but he covered the whole palace with toilet paper, his father was furious, but I'm such a good friend, I took the blame, got kicked out of Mirkwood and was given a 2 year ban for that."
All three of them jumped as they heard a scream coming from inside, it sounded like a very Frodo like scream. Merry and Pippin grinned at each other. Aragorn closed his diary and got up to run inside to see what was wrong. As he ran Merry and Pippin began to pelt the apples at him, he began to flail his arms to try and block the apples. Merry tossed Pippin the last apple; Pippin aimed the apple and hit Aragorn right on the head.
"Bulls eye!" Pippin shouted gleefully when Aragorn was out of hearing distance; he gave Merry a high 5.
"Good shot." Merry said approvingly.
"Why, thank you, what shall we do now?"
"I'm feeling kind of tired, maybe we should sleep and then get some lunch." Merry suggested.
"Great idea." Pippin agreed as they climbed down the tree. Pippin lay down and stretched out in the sun.
"Wait Pip," Pippin looked confused, "we'll have to sleep in the shade or we'll cast a shadow in the sun." Merry pointed at Pippin's shadow.
"Very clever Merry, we don't want to get caught." Pippin rolled over into the shade the tree was supplying. Merry lay down next to him and they were soon both asleep and dreaming of female elves and food.
End Still not that funny dammit, but I suppose I'm getting there slowly. Don't know who Merry and Pippin are going to spy on next so if you have a request I'll try to do it, but that would mean you would have to review and tell me (hint, hint). I also need ideas for pranks and stuff Merry and Pippin is going to do. Please, please, please review!!!