Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR I know so don't rub it in.
Hmmmm chapter 5, it took me a while to get here. I'm very sorry I haven't updated but I don't think I have any dedicated reviewers who live for my next badly written chapter so no angry mobs to worry about.
I would like to say a very, very, very, very big thank you to anyone who has reviewed; you lot make my day and give me a reason to carry on! I would do a separate thank-you for each person but it's been so long that I would miss someone out and feel really bad about it. I will do them next time if anyone reviews.
Chapter 5: Suspicions are aroused (this chapter is being written with no idea in which way the story is going, I apologise in advance for its badness)
Aragorn ran as fast as he could away from the mysterious apples that were attacking him. He flailed his arms to protect himself from their hits. He rounded a corner and collapsed from exhaustion. The apples didn't follow. He lay there for only a few seconds when again another Frodo like scream pierced the air. Aragorn got up and began to run again hoping that neither Sam nor Gandalf had cornered Frodo and had announced their undying love for him.
Aragorn ran inside, giving little thought to the mysterious apples. He ran up the stairs and paused to listen.
"You stupid, nancy, gay, dumb, inbred elf, look at what you've done to me, I am having a nervous breakdown, and I am losing the will to live!!!!!" He heard Frodo shout, maybe his suspicions had been wrong; maybe Frodo attracted elves as well as hobbits and wizards.
" I am so sorry Frodo, I don't know what happened, let me fix it, I can make it better, let me make it go away". He heard Legolas replying to Frodo's shouts.
Aragorn was getting very confused now; he walked over and swung open the bathroom door. Again Frodo screamed but at Aragorn's presence. Frodo jumped back and grabbed a towel to hide his face.
"Don't look at me, I am hideous." He whimpered through the towel.
"Come on it's not that bad Frodo," Legolas said reassuringly, "it's really not that bad when you get use to it, let Aragorn see." He said giving Aragorn a warning look.
Frodo whimpered again but slowly lowered the towel to reveal blonde nose hair to Aragorn.
Aragorn's eyes widened at the sight but he managed to hold in his shriek, instead he lied. "Yes I really agree Legolas, once your eyes get use to it, it really suits him."
Frodo looked a lot happier after this but Aragorn and Legolas's attempts were ruined when Sam rushed in. "Mister Frodo, Mister Frodo, what's wrong, what happened, oh my god Mister Frodo what did they do to your nose hair!" Sam cried.
At this Frodo flung himself behind the toilet and began to whimper loudly, refusing to come out.
"I really don't know what happened, there's no way the dye should have done that, my father always uses it." Legolas said confused.
"Your father dyes his nose hair!" Aragorn cried trying to keep in his laughter.
Legolas turned a slight shade of pink. "I'll have you know it's a very common thing to do amongst elves, Elrohir and Elladan have been dyeing your nose hair while you sleep since you were three."
Aragorn let out a gasp and his hand moved swiftly to his nose. "You mean my young, manly nose hair isn't natural! It can't be, my life is ruined!" He cried.
Sam who had been standing around awkwardly feeling confused about the importance of nose hair spoke up as Aragorn descended into quiet sobbing.
"Pardon me saying, but would it be entirely unbelievable to think that maybe this is the cause of someone playing a mean joke on Mister Frodo?" He asked somewhat nervously.
Legolas spoke up as Aragorn began to mumble about Arwen finding him unattractive now. "No Sam that could be the exact reason to what has happened and for someone to try and ruin Frodo's beauty is an act unbearable to think about and I think Frodo should be allowed to get pay back."
At this Frodo stood up and turned to face them with an evil grin enhanced by his blonde nose hair. "Revenge is sweet".
At this precise moment Gandalf walked in. At seeing the state everyone was in with their nose hair he soon began to realise that Pippin and Merry had begun their pranks.
Being the wise wizard that he was he doubled up with laughter and was soon rolling around on the floor at the state Frodo's nose hair was in. He soon sobered up when a well-aimed kick was delivered from Frodo.
After some explaining the group of them in the bathroom Aragorn, Legolas, Sam, Frodo and Gandalf had all been filled in about the situation with Merry and Pippin and a conclusion was reached that after Merry and Pippin had played a few more pranks then pay back would be delivered with Frodo as the main delivery man.
"But why don't we just try and catch them now?" Asked a fuming Frodo with Sam nodding in agreeance.
"Ahhh there is still little you know about the lives of Elves, Men and Wizards." Gandalf chuckled wisely.
"What is it we should know now?" Asked Sam.
"We like to see other people in misery!" Legolas shouted and soon Gandalf, Aragorn and Legolas were cackling madly with Sam and Frodo crouching, frightened in a corner.
"We also need to know their methods and there weaknesses, we shall split into three groups. Sam and Frodo, you shall be group Prancing Pony. Legolas and myself shall be group Hot guys and Gandalf you shall be alone and your codename will be Pervy old Wizard. We shall all split off into our groups and track down the targets Merry and Pippin; we shall make notes of their movements and the pranks they play. We shall meet back here in four hours to try and discover a pattern in the way they strike and for a bite to eat, are there any questions?" He demanded.
Everyone kept quiet and agreed to the ranger's plans.
"Group Prancing Pony you will search the inside of Rivendell. Group Hot guys will search the outside grounds and revisit the area of the apple throwing and Pervy old Wizard will ask around to try and discover any other odd behaviour and if you come across that ars Boromir tell him he can go to hell cause I will take over the throne of Gondor and make him clean the toilets." With Aragorns last words each group split off to carry out their appointed task.
Meanwhile outside Merry and Pippin awoke from their nap to discover their next potential target only a few feet away. A Gondorian man trying to chat up a female elf.
"Doromir, no I mean Foromir, oh um Boromir, yes Boromir please do I have to keep telling you, I'm not interested, I have a steady relationship going with Aragorn." The female elf said irritated.
"Come on Arwen baby, like take a ride on the Boromir shield, I can show you a better time than that punk Aragorn." Boromir insisted.
Merry and Pippin exchanged looks and slowly began to advance on the unsuspecting man. They grabbed his pants from behind and pulled.
"WEDGIE!!!!" and with that they ran off.
End.
Ok I'm so sorry, its short its rushed and its not funny, I will really try to make the next chapter better as we see how Group Prancing Pony, Group Hot guys and Pervy old Wizard get on. I'm sorry Boromir fans, the wedgie was coming. Before anyone asks I do think that nose hair is going to play a big part in this story, what can I say, I'm weird. Please Review!!!!!!
Hmmmm chapter 5, it took me a while to get here. I'm very sorry I haven't updated but I don't think I have any dedicated reviewers who live for my next badly written chapter so no angry mobs to worry about.
I would like to say a very, very, very, very big thank you to anyone who has reviewed; you lot make my day and give me a reason to carry on! I would do a separate thank-you for each person but it's been so long that I would miss someone out and feel really bad about it. I will do them next time if anyone reviews.
Chapter 5: Suspicions are aroused (this chapter is being written with no idea in which way the story is going, I apologise in advance for its badness)
Aragorn ran as fast as he could away from the mysterious apples that were attacking him. He flailed his arms to protect himself from their hits. He rounded a corner and collapsed from exhaustion. The apples didn't follow. He lay there for only a few seconds when again another Frodo like scream pierced the air. Aragorn got up and began to run again hoping that neither Sam nor Gandalf had cornered Frodo and had announced their undying love for him.
Aragorn ran inside, giving little thought to the mysterious apples. He ran up the stairs and paused to listen.
"You stupid, nancy, gay, dumb, inbred elf, look at what you've done to me, I am having a nervous breakdown, and I am losing the will to live!!!!!" He heard Frodo shout, maybe his suspicions had been wrong; maybe Frodo attracted elves as well as hobbits and wizards.
" I am so sorry Frodo, I don't know what happened, let me fix it, I can make it better, let me make it go away". He heard Legolas replying to Frodo's shouts.
Aragorn was getting very confused now; he walked over and swung open the bathroom door. Again Frodo screamed but at Aragorn's presence. Frodo jumped back and grabbed a towel to hide his face.
"Don't look at me, I am hideous." He whimpered through the towel.
"Come on it's not that bad Frodo," Legolas said reassuringly, "it's really not that bad when you get use to it, let Aragorn see." He said giving Aragorn a warning look.
Frodo whimpered again but slowly lowered the towel to reveal blonde nose hair to Aragorn.
Aragorn's eyes widened at the sight but he managed to hold in his shriek, instead he lied. "Yes I really agree Legolas, once your eyes get use to it, it really suits him."
Frodo looked a lot happier after this but Aragorn and Legolas's attempts were ruined when Sam rushed in. "Mister Frodo, Mister Frodo, what's wrong, what happened, oh my god Mister Frodo what did they do to your nose hair!" Sam cried.
At this Frodo flung himself behind the toilet and began to whimper loudly, refusing to come out.
"I really don't know what happened, there's no way the dye should have done that, my father always uses it." Legolas said confused.
"Your father dyes his nose hair!" Aragorn cried trying to keep in his laughter.
Legolas turned a slight shade of pink. "I'll have you know it's a very common thing to do amongst elves, Elrohir and Elladan have been dyeing your nose hair while you sleep since you were three."
Aragorn let out a gasp and his hand moved swiftly to his nose. "You mean my young, manly nose hair isn't natural! It can't be, my life is ruined!" He cried.
Sam who had been standing around awkwardly feeling confused about the importance of nose hair spoke up as Aragorn descended into quiet sobbing.
"Pardon me saying, but would it be entirely unbelievable to think that maybe this is the cause of someone playing a mean joke on Mister Frodo?" He asked somewhat nervously.
Legolas spoke up as Aragorn began to mumble about Arwen finding him unattractive now. "No Sam that could be the exact reason to what has happened and for someone to try and ruin Frodo's beauty is an act unbearable to think about and I think Frodo should be allowed to get pay back."
At this Frodo stood up and turned to face them with an evil grin enhanced by his blonde nose hair. "Revenge is sweet".
At this precise moment Gandalf walked in. At seeing the state everyone was in with their nose hair he soon began to realise that Pippin and Merry had begun their pranks.
Being the wise wizard that he was he doubled up with laughter and was soon rolling around on the floor at the state Frodo's nose hair was in. He soon sobered up when a well-aimed kick was delivered from Frodo.
After some explaining the group of them in the bathroom Aragorn, Legolas, Sam, Frodo and Gandalf had all been filled in about the situation with Merry and Pippin and a conclusion was reached that after Merry and Pippin had played a few more pranks then pay back would be delivered with Frodo as the main delivery man.
"But why don't we just try and catch them now?" Asked a fuming Frodo with Sam nodding in agreeance.
"Ahhh there is still little you know about the lives of Elves, Men and Wizards." Gandalf chuckled wisely.
"What is it we should know now?" Asked Sam.
"We like to see other people in misery!" Legolas shouted and soon Gandalf, Aragorn and Legolas were cackling madly with Sam and Frodo crouching, frightened in a corner.
"We also need to know their methods and there weaknesses, we shall split into three groups. Sam and Frodo, you shall be group Prancing Pony. Legolas and myself shall be group Hot guys and Gandalf you shall be alone and your codename will be Pervy old Wizard. We shall all split off into our groups and track down the targets Merry and Pippin; we shall make notes of their movements and the pranks they play. We shall meet back here in four hours to try and discover a pattern in the way they strike and for a bite to eat, are there any questions?" He demanded.
Everyone kept quiet and agreed to the ranger's plans.
"Group Prancing Pony you will search the inside of Rivendell. Group Hot guys will search the outside grounds and revisit the area of the apple throwing and Pervy old Wizard will ask around to try and discover any other odd behaviour and if you come across that ars Boromir tell him he can go to hell cause I will take over the throne of Gondor and make him clean the toilets." With Aragorns last words each group split off to carry out their appointed task.
Meanwhile outside Merry and Pippin awoke from their nap to discover their next potential target only a few feet away. A Gondorian man trying to chat up a female elf.
"Doromir, no I mean Foromir, oh um Boromir, yes Boromir please do I have to keep telling you, I'm not interested, I have a steady relationship going with Aragorn." The female elf said irritated.
"Come on Arwen baby, like take a ride on the Boromir shield, I can show you a better time than that punk Aragorn." Boromir insisted.
Merry and Pippin exchanged looks and slowly began to advance on the unsuspecting man. They grabbed his pants from behind and pulled.
"WEDGIE!!!!" and with that they ran off.
End.
Ok I'm so sorry, its short its rushed and its not funny, I will really try to make the next chapter better as we see how Group Prancing Pony, Group Hot guys and Pervy old Wizard get on. I'm sorry Boromir fans, the wedgie was coming. Before anyone asks I do think that nose hair is going to play a big part in this story, what can I say, I'm weird. Please Review!!!!!!