Well, I'm in my padded room, staring at the ceiling.
Again.
I'm starting to wonder what my life will be like in college. But that's not most important.
I've finally realized that Tom really wasn't gonna work out for me. I mean, what can you really expect from your first try? All you can get is lessons.
I think I've learned all he had to teach me. But it doesn't feel like enough.
I bet you're happy though, Jane. You didn't want to see us apart, and me upset. But you didn't want to see us together, and me happy, either. Well, that's okay, because I don't think I was ever really happy.
I think that, If I started another relationship, I would know what I was doing this time.
Wait, what? Another relationship? And with whom, may I ask me?
(We know.)
Oh, no. Not him. I've been over this. He's not the one for me.
He's too old. (Only a couple years)
He doesn't like ME. (Then why does he stare at you like he does)
I couldn't tell him. (What happened to all this newfound courage?)
It wouldn't work. (Would it hurt to give it a shot?)
YES! Because I love him too much.
....................
You did NOT just think that.
(Oh HO, I think you did.)
Since when did I have split personalities?
(Ever since you tried to deny what you really felt about him.)
Well, how do I make you go away then? Its very disquieting to talk to yourself.
(I realize that.)
So how do I GET RID OF YOU?
(But that's the thing... I AM you. You can't get rid of me. But if you accepted me, we may be able to stop this strange case of doublethink.)
What do you mean, accept you?
(Accept that you love him. Accept that he loves you back. Go talk to him. Find out for yourself. You won't be sorry you did. He won't be sorry either...)
But what about college? I have to go to Raft, and he'll be staying here. A million miles away, practically.
(You know he has nothing tying him down. The only member of his family that he cares about is moving to Boston too. You might just be enough of a pull to get him down there too...)
You're saying he might move all the way to Boston... to be with me?
(And Jane, but yes, we are. So tell him.)
And how, pray tell, do you propose to go about that?
(Be honest.)
Be honest?
(Tell him you love him, flat out. He knows us, girl, more than you think. He's waiting for you to say it to him. He's been waiting. And denying it... Denying it will keep him waiting. He's a very patient man, you know. A very patient man.)
You think that'll work.
(Yes, we think that'll work. We know that'll work.)
Alright... but if you're wrong, you pay.
(We pay.)
She picked up the phone and dialed automatically. The number was practically programmed into her finger.
"Hey Jane?" she said to the groggy voice that answered. "Can I talk to Trent?"
I'm starting to wonder what my life will be like in college. But that's not most important.
I've finally realized that Tom really wasn't gonna work out for me. I mean, what can you really expect from your first try? All you can get is lessons.
I think I've learned all he had to teach me. But it doesn't feel like enough.
I bet you're happy though, Jane. You didn't want to see us apart, and me upset. But you didn't want to see us together, and me happy, either. Well, that's okay, because I don't think I was ever really happy.
I think that, If I started another relationship, I would know what I was doing this time.
Wait, what? Another relationship? And with whom, may I ask me?
(We know.)
Oh, no. Not him. I've been over this. He's not the one for me.
He's too old. (Only a couple years)
He doesn't like ME. (Then why does he stare at you like he does)
I couldn't tell him. (What happened to all this newfound courage?)
It wouldn't work. (Would it hurt to give it a shot?)
YES! Because I love him too much.
....................
You did NOT just think that.
(Oh HO, I think you did.)
Since when did I have split personalities?
(Ever since you tried to deny what you really felt about him.)
Well, how do I make you go away then? Its very disquieting to talk to yourself.
(I realize that.)
So how do I GET RID OF YOU?
(But that's the thing... I AM you. You can't get rid of me. But if you accepted me, we may be able to stop this strange case of doublethink.)
What do you mean, accept you?
(Accept that you love him. Accept that he loves you back. Go talk to him. Find out for yourself. You won't be sorry you did. He won't be sorry either...)
But what about college? I have to go to Raft, and he'll be staying here. A million miles away, practically.
(You know he has nothing tying him down. The only member of his family that he cares about is moving to Boston too. You might just be enough of a pull to get him down there too...)
You're saying he might move all the way to Boston... to be with me?
(And Jane, but yes, we are. So tell him.)
And how, pray tell, do you propose to go about that?
(Be honest.)
Be honest?
(Tell him you love him, flat out. He knows us, girl, more than you think. He's waiting for you to say it to him. He's been waiting. And denying it... Denying it will keep him waiting. He's a very patient man, you know. A very patient man.)
You think that'll work.
(Yes, we think that'll work. We know that'll work.)
Alright... but if you're wrong, you pay.
(We pay.)
She picked up the phone and dialed automatically. The number was practically programmed into her finger.
"Hey Jane?" she said to the groggy voice that answered. "Can I talk to Trent?"