Alex met Snape in the entrance hall of Hogwarts. "Professor Snape," she called his name as she descended the stairs, grinning as he stopped his pacing and glowered up at her. He still looked pale, but better than he had that morning. Took a Pepper-up Potion, maybe ? Alex thought to herself.
They walked silently across the grounds, not touching, until they reached the gates. Alex searched for the portkey to Chelmsford and held the battered teakettle out to him. He frowned. "It's impossible to talk privately in the Three Broomsticks," she told him, "and it's too risky to go back to Diagon Alley, right ?" Or Knockturn Alley, she thought. It seemed like years since they'd been together in the suite of rooms there. Don't go there, Alex told herself. Risky is not the word. She still couldn't work out her conflicting feelings about the potions master. To her relief, he took hold of the portkey.
From the outskirts of the little village, they walked to the Black Horse, still not speaking. When they entered the inn, Madame Smee was nowhere in sight. Severus started forward when a young waiter in a white apron approached, but Alex brushed past him, taking matters into her own hands. "Professor Snape and I require a private dining room," she said.
"We don't have any... Um, well, we've got rooms upstairs," the boy stammered. "There's little tables, I reckon I could bring a tray up ?"
"That will do," Alex told him imperiously. She could feel a blush rising across her cheeks. "Don't give me that look," she snapped as they followed the boy up the narrow stairs. "You wanted privacy." Severus smirked at her. Ordering dinner proved to be an awkward situation. The room did include a table and two armchairs, but also a large four-poster bed that seemed to take up a great deal of room. Alex resolutely ignored it, glaring at Snape when he smirked again.
Once dinner had been brought, he prowled around the room, casting wards and spells against eavesdropping. "Enough already," Alex complained teasingly. Her mood had improved once the stammering, blushing waiter had finally left. "Sit down. Your food's getting cold, and I'm not going to wait for you. You have a lot of explaining to do," she added, only half-joking. "What's the deal with Lucius Malfoy ?"
Snape looked at her innocently. "You had no problem brewing a hangover remedy for Hagrid. I just want you to do the same for Lucius. There's nothing illegal or immoral involved."
Alex snorted. "Sure, there's nothing immoral about sneaking around with Malfoy behind Dumbledore's back," she said sarcastically. "Besides, I don't want to do any favors for Malfoy. He's a sociopath."
"You'd be no different from anyone else. Everyone does favors for the Malfoys," Severus protested. "And accepts favors from them. Between the two of them, Narcissa and Lucius are on the boards of just about every charitable organization in Great Britain."
Alex changed tactics. "What on earth would Lucius need with a hangover remedy, then," she retorted, "paragon of virtue that he is ?"
"Lucius is the Dark Lord's right-hand man," Snape reminded her. "You've seen how taxing meetings with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named can be."
Alex shivered. Dear gods, I never want to endure another run-in with those damn red eyes. Ugh. Even if I was just an observer.
He watched her shrewdly. "Lucius has many responsibilities in addition to his illicit ones as the Dark Lord's servant," he lectured. "Part of the Malfoy mystique is that illusion of perfection they present to the world. The physical beauty, the impeccable good taste... it may seem a minor detail, but one never sees Lucius Malfoy tired or disheveled. Your little restorative would please him, I should think."
"I always thought he was vain," Alex said cattily.
"He uses every possible advantage," Snape corrected her. "Don't pretend it's a concept you're unfamiliar with."
Alex took a sip from her water glass, avoiding his eyes. She'd worn the low-cut red gown he'd admired the last time they had dined at the Black Horse, but had conjured it green, the color he'd grudgingly admitted was his favorite. She'd even managed some cleavage. Alex glanced up and felt a fresh blush flood her cheeks as she saw Severus' eyes lingering on her body. "Um, what about Albus Dumbledore ?" she asked, to change the subject. "I noticed he was absent today, figured it must be Order business."
"Albus and Minerva will be devoting themselves to making sure the Dark Lord's latest scheme never comes to fruition. The headmaster will have to be absent from Hogwarts a great deal in the coming weeks, I'm afraid."
"It's going to be hectic," Alex agreed. She sighed. "Some of those fifth-years are going to have nervous breakdowns before we even get to O.W.L.s week." Severus shrugged. "And the attempt to catch the Death Eaters by surprise as they left the meeting last night ?" she prompted him.
"A success. It certainly took me by surprise." He gave her his patented sidelong grin. "Four Death Eaters were captured," Snape went on, "one a recent recruit. He's being extremely cooperative, by the way." He chuckled sardonically. "Last night was his first meeting. Seeing how the Dark Lord treats even his high-ranking followers gave him certain qualms."
"What will happen to him ?" Alex asked.
Severus shrugged. "He'll probably go into hiding. He may serve time in Azkaban, but it's unlikely. He didn't have time to commit any crimes in the Dark Lord's service."
"It's frustrating," Alex said. "I don't understand why the entire Ministry of Magic couldn't have gone in with wands blazing. Take out You-Know-Who and all his followers in one swoop." Snape raised an eyebrow at her. Sheesh. That didn't come out right. "Um, I didn't mean you. You could hide, like you did last night," she suggested, blushing yet again. "Or reveal yourself and join the fight on the Order's side."
"Such a scenario is tempting," Severus admitted. "But for now, we're limited to a harassment campaign. Striking against the Dark Lord's followers, foiling his plans wherever possible. It is frustrating," he agreed.
"Can't Dumbledore defeat You-Know-Who ?" She couldn't bring herself to say 'Voldemort' to Snape. He always calls him the Dark Lord, she mused. I wonder if he'd even be able to say his name.
He leaned closer to her, his voice a whisper, paranoia evident despite the wards he'd cast. "No. There is only one who can truly defeat the Dark Lord. That is why we must hold off the final confrontation."
Alex's eyes widened. "You don't mean-" Severus reached across the space between them and touched her lips with one finger, compelling silence. She felt a shiver run through her at his touch and knew he felt it too. Harry Potter, Alex thought. Severus nodded, as though reading her mind. The 'boy who lived'. But he's just a kid... "This isn't going to end any time soon, is it ?" she asked, fighting a sudden urge to cry.
Snape closed his eyes briefly, a pained expression crossing his face. "I'm sorry you were dragged into it," he said.
"I don't mind that," Alex replied fiercely. "You-Know-Who has to be stopped. I just hate the deception." She searched his eyes for some show of remorse. "Severus...I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you."
"I am not going to apologize for Dolohov's murder. I told you, I didn't kill him." He scowled. "I wouldn't apologize if I had."
Alex glared right back at him. "I'm not going to be involved with a man who lies to me."
He looked at her angrily for a long moment. Then his features hardened into their practiced sneer. "If you've no further questions, I'll bid you goodnight," Snape said coldly, pushing back his chair.
"Oh, hell, Severus, don't pretend you don't even give a damn." Alex jumped up from her seat and grabbed his arm. "Give in just a little, would you ? Stubborn bastard ! Just promise you'll tell me the truth from now on."
He stopped and looked down at her. "I could promise that." He brushed a lock of hair back from her face. "I want to promise you that. But it might turn out to be another lie. If I have to, I'll lie - to protect you."
"You're so convincing, I almost believe you," Alex said bitterly. "Hell, I think you believe it yourself. Forget it. You deceive me- and Dumbledore - because it's more convenient for you, that's all." Angrily, she blinked back tears.
"This isn't helping. I think it best if I leave now." Severus brushed the stubborn lock of hair back again. He loomed over her, wiping her tears away ineffectually. Despite his words, he didn't leave. A long moment passed. "Bloody hell." He took her in his arms, holding her tightly. Alex melted into his embrace.
"I missed you so much," she murmured.
He shook his head. "Don't. You know this will never work out." He still made no move to go.
Alex looked up at him, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "We're going to have to make it work out. You can't keep walking out on me."
"I beg your pardon ? You walked out on me."
"Okay, I did," she admitted. She laughed, near tears again. "Damn it, Severus, I didn't want to. I wanted you to stop me, you know." He frowned, baffled. "I missed you so much," she repeated. "When we're apart, I miss your voice. I miss the way you stir potions." She giggled, reaching up to tuck his hair behind his ear. "I miss the way your hair flops in your face, I miss the way you look at me when we... when we make love," she blurted. "Hell, I even miss arguing with you."
"You do not," Severus protested. He looked flustered at her recitation.
"I do," she argued. "Just not right now." Alex smiled up at him. "Actually, right now I'm in the mood for something else..." She took his hand and pulled him toward the bed.
"And what might that be ?" Severus asked with a grin, letting her push him down onto the mattress.
"I'll show you," she said huskily. With a flick of her wand, Alex banished his black robes with their overabundance of buttons. Another gesture removed her gown. What remained of her clothing was lacy and skimpy and caused his eyes to widen and his jaw to drop. Heh. They don't call it a wonderbra for nothin', she thought. Alex brushed her lips against his, suddenly breathless with all the pent-up desire she'd felt during her self-imposed separation from him. She straddled him, pushing him back onto the bed as he tried to embrace her. Severus lay back with a lazy smile and let her take the role of aggressor, his dark eyes watching her hungrily.
Alex bent down to kiss him, her hair falling in curtains on either side of his face, shutting out the world. She unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off him, taking her time. His breathing grew ragged as she leaned over him, kissing him passionately. His hips bucked, thrusting against her. Alex moaned, lifting her weight off of him so he could tug his pants off and kick them aside. Her heart was racing.
Severus grabbed her roughly, pressing his lips against her throat, the pulse fluttering under his mouth. He dipped his head lower, flicking his tongue between her breasts, making her sob with pleasure. Alex fumbled with the clasp of her bra, shrugging it off impatiently. She rocked her hips against his insistently. With a growl, Severus lifted her, rolling with her across the bed. She cried out, running her fingers through his hair. He plunged into her, moaning as her nails raked across his back. Alex called his name wildly as she climaxed, clinging to him as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through her body.
He raised up, supporting his weight on his arms, watching her as she came. Her eyelids fluttered open. Alex looked up at him, her gaze unfocused. "I love you." He clamped his mouth over hers, thrusting into her fiercely again and again until he reached his own climax. Still trembling, he collapsed into her arms.
They lay together, catching their breath. Severus stroked her hair. "I take it this means you forgive me ?" he asked softly.
She sighed. "Yeah. I guess so." She chuckled, then sat up, suddenly serious. "But I promise you, Severus Snape, if you ever lie to me again, I'll curse you so bad... Well, let's just say that puking giant slugs will be the least of your problems. Got it ?"
He nodded solemnly. "Understood."
Alex relaxed into his embrace, resting her head on his chest. She was nearly asleep when she heard him chuckle. She felt a flash of annoyance. "What's so funny ? You'd better not think I wasn't serious."
"No," he reassured her. "It's just... the threats. After sex ? Really, Alex," he chided, laughing openly now. "Couldn't you just smoke a cigarette ?"