Sorry for the long delay, folks. Well now, this is the next chappie! Polls are closed! This is mine and Larien's work mixed together. Enjoy it, or else...

Chapter 6: Goodbye to Lothlorien

The fellowship is just about to leave Lorien when Galadriel appears.

Galadriel: Wait! I can't let you live-uh, leave without your gifts!

Ron (to Boromir): Did she just say she was gonna kill us if we didn't take her presents?

Boromir: It sounds that way.

Galadriel: Well, I've been playing with your little wand things and I want to try something out. I'm going to MAGIC your gifts to you!

Hermione hands Galadriel her wand. Galadriel waves it a couple times and gifts appear in everyone's hands. The fellowship's gifts are completely mixed up.

Draco: Cool!

Aragorn glares at Galadriel.

Harry stares at Draco's sword.

Aragorn: I don't think he'll be keeping that long.

Harry: (grinning evilly) I think you're right.

Hermione: WHY do I have HAIR?

Gimli: Uh, soil... thanks...

Everyone jumps as Draco screams and throws the sword. It sinks into a tree centimeters away from Boromir's head.

Boromir: AH! That kid has it in for me! (starts muttering under his breath) When I get the ring, I'll kill him...

Frodo: What did you say, Boromir?

Boromir: Oh, nothing...

Draco is screaming and looking at his hands like they've been burned.

Draco: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! IT'S A GRYFFINDOR SWORD!

Harry smirks.

Merry: Cool! I got a whoopee cushion!!!!!!!

Pippin: No, that was probably meant for me!!!

Pippin and Merry start wrestling for the whoopee cushion.

Boromir: For some odd reason, I got a hair net. Who in their right mind would wear one of those?

Legolas: (red in the face) I don't know but it wouldn't be me!

Aragorn: You are the worst liar I have ever met. Extra strength hair gel? I'm sorry, but he's the one with hair that serves as armor!

Sam: Yeah, why did I get a One Ring Official Carrying Case? I mean, it is kinda cool and I could probably sell it on Ebay for a good amount of...

Frodo: That's mine and don't you dare sell it! The ring is SO heavy! I got some horn cleaning oil, do you think that might be yours Boromir, I mean you are the only one with a horn here.

Boromir: Yeah, I bet it is. My horn has been quite dirty...

Malfoy: You're carrying around a horn. A stupid little horn. Why couldn't you carry around something cool and lethal like a sword? You're just nuts!

Boromir: We need to have something to drown you out.

Malfoy: You arrogant little-!

Boromir: And for your information, I DO have a sword. And I'm very good with it too.

Malfoy: That's bull--

Aragorn: If you like your face the way it is, I think you'll shut up!

Galadriel: I think I did something wrong...

Galadriel waves the wand again. The gifts are set straight. Draco is still screaming, and finally faints.

Everyone: Sigh...

Gimli: Who wants to carry him?

Hobbits and Kids: I'm too small.

Legolas: I'm too perfect.

Aragorn: Boromir, carry him.

Boromir glares at Aragorn.

Boromir: No! I hate that kid! And he hates me more. If he wakes up while I'm carrying him, he'll probably stab me in the back!

Aragorn gives Boromir an I'm-your-future-king-and-I'm-ordering-you-to-carry- him look.

Boromir: What was that look for?

Aragorn: That was an I'm-your-future-king-and-I'm-ordering-you-to-carry-him look.

Boromir:(sarcastically) Well, in that case... Boromir picks up Draco, making sure to knock him around as roughly as possible.

Galadriel: Here, take these complementary elf-cloaks. Bye! Watch out for orcs!

The fellowship has finally actually started to leave Lothlorien.

Sam: What's that thing following us?

Frodo: Looks like a log with eyes.

Hermione: It's a bowtruckle.

All: Huh?

Hermione: Honestly, don't you read?

Legolas: I find it useless to read about stuff that doesn't exist here.

Sam: What is that?

Merry: I think it's a 600 year old hobbit in a loincloth!

Pippin: Don't be ridiculous Merry, Bilbo wouldn't ever follow us!

Frodo: (slaps Pippin hard) Hey, isn't that Gollum?

Hermione, Malfoy, Harry, and Ron: What?

Hermione: Isn't that the sound a cat makes when it coughs up a hairball?

Ron and Harry stare at her for a minute, but then it dawns on them.

Ron and Harry: oh.............

Malfoy: What do you know that I don't know?

Ron: Should we tell him?

Harry: Yeah, he won't be able to prove it against us.

Ron: Okay, remember second year, when Goyle and Crabbe didn't seem themselves?

Malfoy: What did you do?

Harry: Well, we knocked Crabbe and Goyle out, took their robes, drank a polyjuice potion, and took their appearance. Hermione was supposed to look like a Slytherin girl, but she accidentally grabbed cat hair and turned into a cat.

Malfoy: You're lying.

Ron: Want proof? The password was 'pureblood'.

In the distance, they hear shrill screaming.

Gollum: Nasty PRECIOUS! evil PRECIOUS! stupid PRECIOUS! fat PRECIOUS! hobbitses PRECIOUS!

Legolas: It's that thing that we captured in Mirkwood forest!

Legolas: (imitating Gollum) We PRECIOUS! are PRECIOUS! the PRECIOUS! stupidest PRECIOUS! ugliest PRECIOUS! freakiest PRECIOUS! thing PRECIOUS! on PRECIOUS! the PRECIOUS! earth PRECIOUS!

Gollum: Thinks its funny, they do PRECIOUS! They are the PRECIOUS! stupidest PRECIOUS! fattest PRECIOUS! things PRECIOUS! on PRECIOUS! earth PRECIOUS!

They ignore him and go on. Malfoy gets bored.

Malfoy pretends to be corrupted by the ring and faints.

Malfoy: You are a wuss Frodo.

A Nazgul flies overhead, and Malfoy really faints.

Frodo: Who are you calling a wuss? You're the one who fainted!

Ron: I don't think he can hear you.

Gimli: Wow, he's really out cold.

Harry points to a puddle on the ground, trying very hard not to laugh.

Harry: Look, it scared the pee out of him!

Hermione starts to pull out her wand, but the others stop her.

Harry: I think it's better if we leave him unconscious.

Boromir: I'll carry him.

Legolas: (in a sing-song voice) No more listening to Malfoy! No more listening to Malfoy!

Pippin pokes him and Malfoy wakes up.

All: GROAN!!!!!!!!

Malfoy: What did I miss?

Legolas punches Malfoy in the face. Malfoy becomes unconscious again.

Legolas: Now he'll be out for a good bit. We can go now.

All: YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sam pokes him with a dagger, accidentally drawing blood.

Sam: Oops.

A little while later at the falls...

Aragorn: Ok, tomorrow we move on, but should we go to Mount Doom or Gondor?

Boromir: GONDOR!

Everyone looks at him like he's crazy.

Aragorn: The ringbearer chooses, Boromir.

Frodo: I don't know... hmm... Maybe... Gondor?

Boromir: (jumping up) YES!

Everyone stares at him again.

Aragorn: Is that your final answer?

Frodo: Well, on second thought... no... but... I don't know...

Boromir: (whispering) Goooonnnnnddddooorrr.... Goooonnnnnddddooorrr....

Hermione: Is just me or is Gollum back?

Boromir: I heard that. You just don't want to Gondor! You just-

Legolas and Gimli hit him on the head and he faints.

Frodo: I'll go off into the woods all by myself and decide.

Boromir wakes up. Frodo walks off into woods. Boromir follows him when no one is looking. Harry puts on his invisibility cloak when no one is looking and follows Boromir.

Boromir: Now is the time. I strike now. They can't stop me! He can't escape! I will make Gondor awesome! I will finally kill that little weasel Malfoy!!! Mwahahaha!!!!

Harry: Ok, I'm fine with the Malfoy part, but other than that, I think somebody's been watching too much T.V. Enough to fry his brain!

Legolas: (sniffing air) I smell... (pauses for dramatic effect)

Malfoy: Yes, we know, trust us.

Hermione and Ron hit him very hard on the head and he faints.

Legolas: AS I was saying-- I smell... (pauses for dramatic effect) Orcs!

(Psycho theme plays)