Welcome Back! Here's chapter three of the MADNESS! And feel free to e-mail me for info about The Fluff Club if you wanna join. My muse has finally returned! And there was much rejoicing! If you're good, I might just update M&R, but it might take a while as I've only got like two sentences of the thing written... who knows. Anyways, Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Jimmy the Rabid Squirrel is not mine. He belongs to Monigue, my friend. I use him with permission
Psycho-Depressed Marian awoke with the sun in her eyes. She began to cry. She didn't like the sun. It was too bright and cheerful.
"Caaaaarmen! Oh, Caaaaarmen!" came a high pitched noise from outside. Psycho-Depressed cried harder. The shouting was too noisy, and she was afraid of wombats. They were too fluffy and the rabies made her itch.
The sobbing aroused a very annoyed Mar-An. She had had trouble sleeping that night, due to Psycho Depressed Marian sobbing because she was afraid of the dark, and Marian-Sue complaining about how the stone floor was too hard for her to ever have her beauty sleep. Mar-An had about three hours of sleep, tops. Her fingers itched to hurt those other Marians. To take her katana and stab it into their namby-pamby flesh. To shoot them full of arrows and throw their deranged corpses in the river. To hang them until they were half dead and cut them up into little pieces while they were still breathing. Mar-An cursed that Outlaw Eric... or whatever her kidnapper's name had been. She had confiscated all her weapons and used her Official Fluff Club Authoress Powers to dull down her superhuman strength so that Mar-An was normal. She curled into a corner of the stone prison, her calloused hands over her hypersensitive ears to dull out the light snoring of Marian-Sue and Psycho-Depressed's pointless moans.
Marian-Sue opened her baby-blue eyes, and all the violinists in the area flocked over to the prison to play waking up music. Marian-Sue had that effect on people. It was amazing how good she still looked after being stuck into a sack and dumped in a prison for five days. Mar-An's black locks were greasy and tangled, but Marian-Sue still managed to look stunning. Well... despite the zit on the corner of her forehead that hadn't gone away. Marian-Sue was now busying herself trying to pop it while gazing at her reflection on one of the violinists' violins. Mar-An rolled her eyes and attacked the wimpy band with her bare hands. As they were all music nerds, the violinists had no chance, even when she was in her weakened state.
After Mar-An had successfully destroyed the violinists and their instrements, she gazed at her counterparts. "Look, what are we going to do about this?" she asked, "I don't like either of you..."
"You don't liiiiiike me?!" sobbed Psycho-Depressed.
"... and neither of you like me." She continued, ignoring her miserable counterpart. "But we're all Marians, and we should stick together until we find a way outta here."
The plotting of the generic Marians who inhabited the Robin Hood fandom was interrupted by the door to their prison opening. In the doorway stood a very anime-ish looking girl, dressed in a white gown with a long sword flashing at her belt.
"Hello, prisoners." She said, her evil smile revealing small fangs. "Welcome to Sherwood."
"Wh—who are you?" asked Marian-Sue, looking fearfully up at the teenager.
"You may call me Sugarsprite."
The Marians recoiled in terror. "You!" exclaimed Mar-An. "It's you who set this whole thing up!"
Sugarsprite nodded, her waist length strawberry blonde hair falling into her face. "But it's all for the good of the world. And it's good for you too."
At this statement Mar-An lost all control. "For our own good?! You think that being locked up with these two nutcases is GOOD for me?!!!!!!"
"Well..." Sugarsprite fidgeted awkwardly, "That was more for fun... but what we're going to do next will..."
"AHA!" came a high pitched squeal from somewhere near the floor "We've found them!!! We've found them!!!"
Carmen Sandiago, three other wombats and a squirrel were doing a victory dance on the floor of the dungeon. They all seemed to be singing a song of triumph in the wombat language and dancing a complicated tribal dance that involved biting the ankles of Marian-Sue, who was standing on a stool and throwing bricks at them.
"NO! BAD WOMBATS! BAD JIMMY!!!" Sugarsprite screamed, "Carmen, I'm ashamed of you! And you, Marian-Sue, stop throwing bricks at my wombats." She knelt until she was at eye level with the dancing marsupials. "MyrMyr, Monigue, and Ria, I see. You have all been very bad. I'll deal with you later." She glanced at Jimmy the rabid squirrel, who was still attacking Marian-Sue. "SQUIRREL MAIDEN OF THE GRRREEEEN!!!!" she cried, blowing The Official Fluff Club Whistle. A scantily clad, wild looking girl on a Tarzan rope swung into the dungeon, carrying a large scythe.
"'Ello, Jimmy!" she shrieked. "Come to mama!"
Jimmy cowered in the darkest corner of the dungeon. Squirrel Maiden of the Green smiled wickedly, grabbed Jimmy, and swung out of the dungeon as abruptly as she had come.
"How did she get in here, anyways?" asked Mar-An, scratching her head.
"Who knows," said Sugarsprite, "Who knows."
The dictator of the Fluff Club tied the wrists of the three Marians together and led them through the halls of the large building. After a long while, they reached a doorway. Sugarsprite took a deep breath, and then opened the door. Her sword immediately turned into a voice amplifier, and a white beret appeared atop her head. "Alright, people." She said into the amplifier, "We've gotta lot of work to do to make this show happen. Enchantressofthestars, Amadea, and Outlaw Eris, You're in charge of makeup and costumes. Get these Marians suitable for a dating show!" The three Members ran to the dumbstruck Marians.
"Hello again." Outlaw Eris said rather sadistically to Mar-An.
"YOU!" The fighter-chick struggled with her bonds.
"AH-ah-ah..." Outlaw Eris said with a warning smile, "I'm in charge of your makeup, you know. So you'd better watch out."
Mar-An was completely submissive.
"Now!" Sugarsprite continued, "Are the sets finished, Dragonfirechick?"
"Almost!" said the girl, her face multicolored from all the paints. "They'll be finished in less than fifteen minutes."
"Good, good." Sugarsprite murmured into the megaphone, "Now how about the cameras, are they ready?"
"Yep!" said The Midnight's Magic from atop the first one.
"Yep!" cried Mianne, still a little hyper from her costumed appearance.
"Alright... And now for the secret weapon." She said quietly, "Llyra, Black Pixie, are they ready?"
"They're almost ready." Said Black Pixie, "But are you sure you want to do this?"
"What do you mean?" asked the president of the Fluff Club, "why do you ask me that?"
"Well," said Llyra, twisting her crimson hair, "It's just that, if you go through with this, we'll never see the generic Marians again. Are you sure you want the Robin Hood Fandom to loose its most annoying counterparts?"
Sugarsprite thought for a moment. "Well, I don't know, Do you?"
"Yes," they both said in harmony, "We just wanted to give you a climactic question that will make the plot better!"
"That's good. Because I never wanna see those pathetic excuses for Marian- Sues again." She smile, then bellowed into her megaphone, "ALRIGHT PEOPLE, MOVE IT ALONG! I WANT TO HAVE THE CAMERAS ROLLING IN THIRTY MINUTES!"