AN: For this chapter, we don't own Scooby-Doo or anything else we're making fun of.
Part Two:
The Rules
"Well," Tristan answered Inu-yasha, "There are a certain rules that govern the process of a scary movie. One, never leave the group. If you do, you're not coming back. Number two, if you do leave, don't say 'I'll be right back', because you won't."
"Wait a minute!" Mai said, "Just who's gonna make it, and who isn't?"
"Well, the little kids are safe," Tristan said. Both Mokuba and Shippo sighed with relief. "As for the rest of us, it's anyone who hasn't had sex, drunk alcohol, or smoked. If you've ever done any two of the thee, you're as good as dead."
There was another long silence after that. Finally, Joey broke the silence. "I'm dead."
"Me too," Mai said. Tea and Yugi just looked down at the floor. Miroku's face was ashen as he got down on his knees and prayed.
"How far do you have to go for it to count?" Kagome asked, looking at the floor. Inu-yasha, who had broken the rules on more than one occasion, looked at Kagome with a stricken face.
"But You- ! We never-! You wouldn't-!"The Inu-yasha looked at Joey, and snarled as the blond punk laughed nervously.
"You! And her?! OOH!!" Mai seethed as she slapped Joey.
"You couldn't wait, could you?" Ayumi said to Tristan with an accusing voice. "Now we're both dead because of your impatience."
"Thank you!" Songo cried as she hugged Bakura, "Thank you for being such a kind, and understanding boyfriend! Now we're both safe!"
"You're welcome, but please stop mentioning it in front of everyone."
Serenity looked up at Kiaba, who was using his palm-pilot. "What are you doing?" She asked him, putting her hands on her hips.
"I'm e-mailing my attorney's my last will and testament," Kaiba said rather calmly.
"What?" Serenity asked, shocked. "But I never- And we never- but you have! Haven't you?" She was about to cry.
"Oh, sis don't cry," Joey said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "At least you're gonna make it. You're safe."
"Yeah, but you guys are all gonna die," Serenity cried, "And all that'll left will be me, Songo, Bakura, Mokuba, and Shippo!"
"Excuse me," Myoga asked, "But what about fleas?"
"I don't know." Tristan said, "It's never come up."
"In that case," Myoga said, jumping from Inu-yasha's shoulder to Serenity's, "Best to stick with the least likely to get slaughtered."
"I can't live without my brother or Setto!" Serenity cried. She grabbed Kaiba's hand, and said, "Come on! We're going upstairs right now! I'm going to die with you!"
"Wait I-!" Kiaba started, but Joey came to the rescue, by jerking their hands apart, and pushing Kaiba away from Serenity.
"Oh no, you don't!" Joey said. "Sis, you're stayin down here, while the rest of us become buffet."
"Yeah, who knows Serenity," Kagome said, "Who's knows? We might survive. At least I might make it."
"Oh, you're definitely going to get eaten," Inu-yasha said, sulking.
"But it's my house!" Kagome shouted at the han-you. "That make's me the heroine! And the heroine never dies!"
"She's right," Tristan pointed out, "The heroine never gets killed, no matter how many times she breaks the rules."
Inu-yasha got a funny look in his eyes and said to Kagome, "In that case, you wanna go upstairs and break the rules right now?"
"Not with you, I don't," Kagome said. "Not after what you said about Kikyo!"
"You're holding something against me that happened 50 years ago?" Inu-yasha asked her.
" No, I'm holding something against you that you said ten minutes ago! You're worse than Miroku!"
"Uh, speaking of whom," Yugi pointed, "Where is Miroku?" They looked about, and saw his staff on the floor. Just then, the lights went out, and they heard another blood curdling scream! Then, as the lights came back on, Miroku was fondling Songo's buttocks.
"Don't scare us like that!" She said, smacking him on the head.
"It's too early for anyone else to disappear, anyway," Tristan said. "There's usually an order to these things."
"How?" Bakura asked.
"Well, it's usually the last two people who broke numbers three through five." Tristan said.
"That's be us," Joey said, raising his and Mai's hands. "We broke two of those rules on the drive over here."
"You're not supposed to kiss and tell!" Mai yelled as she kicked Joey in the shins.
"AW! Dang it!" Joey cried, jumping up and down on one foot, "I gotta run with that leg!"
"Here, I'll try this one," she said, kicking him ion the other leg. Joey crumpled to the ground, holding both legs and crying like a baby. "I can't believe I broke number three with you," Mai said, disgusted.
"Don't worry," Tristan said. "You're in the clear. Duke was obviously the last one to break the rules. And he's about the least important member of the group."
"Yeah, but which rules did he break?" Yugi asked. "He doesn't seem to have a steady girlfriend, and I've never known him to drink or smoke."
"Check his jacket," Kaiba said, tossing it to Yugi. Yugi opened a pocket, and found a pack of cigarettes and a can of Sake.
"Well, that's one mystery solved," Tristan said.
"Well, Mr. Expert," Inu-yasha said, "Who's next?"
"Let me think…" Tristan said, sitting down. " After the most rule breaker, it's usually the snobby rich kid."
Kaiba rolled his eyes and asked, "Is that supposed to be funny?"
"Not really, man. I'm kinda sorry for ya." Tristan said.
"Couldn't have happened to a nicer fella," joey said, shaking Kaiba's hand. "I'm not gonna miss ya."
"Get off me," Kiaba said, wrenching his hand away. "It's bad enough having your sister crawl all over me. I don't need you, too."
"My sister's an angel!" Joey retorted. "You're lucky not to have had her!"
"Wait a minute," Tea interjected, " DOn't people usually get out through the windows in these movies?"
"That's right," Yugi said. "But we have to look for one's that'll open."
"Wasn't the bathroom window open?" Miroku asked.
"That's it!" Joey said, "We'll get out through the bathroom window!" All of them but Tristan leaped for the stairs, and made for the bathroom.
The door was locked, and wouldn't open.
As they trudged back to the living, Tristan lounged confidently on the sofa.
"Hey, how come you're didn't come with us?" Yugi asked Tristan.
"Because I knew it wouldn't work," Tristan answered.
"Then how did you know that you wouldn't be killed while we were gone?" Kaiba asked.
"Because the usually doesn't get killed off until the sequels. We've got a large group of people here, so we're looking at multiple sequels."
"WHAT!?!!" They all shouted again.
"Yup, I can see it now," Tristan said. "Years from now, when Mokuba's grown up and dating Serenity, and Kagome- being the heroine- is about to get married to that guy Hojo, this demon thing will come back and start killing all the survivors. Kagome will make it to the third movie, where there's a huge secret revealed as she makes the final standoff against the monster. Something ranging from an acient vendetta to the monster being Kagome's real father."
"WHAT?" Kagome shouted getting pale.
"This is ridiculous!" Inu-yasha yelled. He drew the Tetsusaiga, and said, "This is just your everyday, flesh eating demon! I've killed things like this thousands of times! Now, if you're all done being scared, I'm going to avenge Duke's death. If any of you have enough backbone to join me, then suck it up, and follow me." He turned on them, and started sniffing around the house.
"Okay," Tristan said, as he and everyone else formed a line of two by two, and followed him up the stairs, "But you've just sealed your horror movie fate. The hero guy is always after the rich kid. And From the way things look now, I'd say Kaiba's number is up in three, two, one…" As if on cue, the lights went out. The girls screamed, and there was a muffled cry for help.
When the lights went back on, Serenity jumped for joy, "Setto! You're still here! You're alive!"
"Of course I am," he said annoyed.
"Oh no!" Shippo cried, "Mokuba's gone!"
"What?! Mokuba!!?" They all cried.
"There are his shoes!" Shippo said, pointing to the empty sneakers on the floor. Setto Kaiba fell to his knees, and Tristan clamored about.
"This isn't right!" Tristan said, panicking, "Mokuba was safe! Kaiba was supposed to go! This isn't right!"
"The rules have been abandoned!" Myoga cried, "It's every flea for himself!" The flee jumped from Serenity's shoulder, and zipped off to hide.
Meanwhile, Kaiba reached to take the small sneakers, but inu-yasha yelled, "Don't ouch them!" The han-you ran over, and sniffed the shoes, saying, "I need to get the scent while it's fresh." He got up, and started running down the stairs, and into the Shrine's Shop. The others followed quickly. Inu-yasha smelled around the shop, but he found nothing.
"D#&% it!" Inu-yasha snarled, "The scent led me nowhere. There's nothing in here." The rest of the crew filed in behind him. Inu-yasha turned to Tristan, and barked, "If the hero's not killed, then who's next?"
"I… Uh.. It's usually the shy quiet kid who no one ever suspects of breaking the rules!" Tristan spit out. That meant Bakura! They all turned around, and found their friend unconscious, thrown over the shoulders of a hideous, warty, horned troll!
They all stared at it, and it stared at them. Before it grumbled, "What? What are you all looking at? Do I have something in my teeth?"
"GET HIM!" Inu-yasha shouted, hefting his sword. They all charged, and the troll ran off with it's prey over it's shoulder. They chased him back through the kitchen, into the living room, up the stairs, and into the upstairs hallway.
They followed the troll into one room, and the door closed behind them. Then, the door across the hall opened, and Joey, Kagome, and Yugi ran down and across the hall to the bathroom door. Miroku, chased by Mai and Kaiba ran across and up the hall to a closet. The troll came out of a bedroom, with Bakura on his shoulder, and Inu-yasha in hot pursuit. Then, Songo, Serenity, and Shippo were chasing the troll out of another bedroom, and into a third bedroom. Then, the troll ran out into the hallway, on the ceiling, followed by Shippo and Inu-yasha, also on the ceiling. Below them, Kagome, Serenity, Ayumi and Tristan ran from the bathroom, while Joey, Kaiba and Yugi came from one bed room, and and Miroku and Songo from another. Those on the ground looked up, and those on the ceiling looked down. Then, Bakura came to, and started screaming in the troll's ear. The troll quickly ran into a bedroom, followed by everyone.
The door opened, and everyone- except Tristan and Ayumi, who were conspicuously absent- with Bakura in the lead- came running from the room, chased by the troll. The troll stopped, mid chase, and opened a closet door. There inside were Tristan and Ayumi, making out one again. The two lovers screamed, and closed the door quickly. The others ran back past then, scattering into the other rooms, with the troll going only into one. Then, two doors opened. Out of the bathroom stormed everyone, and out of the bedroom stormed the troll.
As the teens ran for the stairs, Shippo tripped, and fell down, causing a chain reaction. Subsequently, everyone started tripping over everyone else, tumbling down the stairs in a big heap, with the troll landing on top. Suddenly, the lights went out yet again!
Part Two:
The Rules
"Well," Tristan answered Inu-yasha, "There are a certain rules that govern the process of a scary movie. One, never leave the group. If you do, you're not coming back. Number two, if you do leave, don't say 'I'll be right back', because you won't."
"Wait a minute!" Mai said, "Just who's gonna make it, and who isn't?"
"Well, the little kids are safe," Tristan said. Both Mokuba and Shippo sighed with relief. "As for the rest of us, it's anyone who hasn't had sex, drunk alcohol, or smoked. If you've ever done any two of the thee, you're as good as dead."
There was another long silence after that. Finally, Joey broke the silence. "I'm dead."
"Me too," Mai said. Tea and Yugi just looked down at the floor. Miroku's face was ashen as he got down on his knees and prayed.
"How far do you have to go for it to count?" Kagome asked, looking at the floor. Inu-yasha, who had broken the rules on more than one occasion, looked at Kagome with a stricken face.
"But You- ! We never-! You wouldn't-!"The Inu-yasha looked at Joey, and snarled as the blond punk laughed nervously.
"You! And her?! OOH!!" Mai seethed as she slapped Joey.
"You couldn't wait, could you?" Ayumi said to Tristan with an accusing voice. "Now we're both dead because of your impatience."
"Thank you!" Songo cried as she hugged Bakura, "Thank you for being such a kind, and understanding boyfriend! Now we're both safe!"
"You're welcome, but please stop mentioning it in front of everyone."
Serenity looked up at Kiaba, who was using his palm-pilot. "What are you doing?" She asked him, putting her hands on her hips.
"I'm e-mailing my attorney's my last will and testament," Kaiba said rather calmly.
"What?" Serenity asked, shocked. "But I never- And we never- but you have! Haven't you?" She was about to cry.
"Oh, sis don't cry," Joey said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "At least you're gonna make it. You're safe."
"Yeah, but you guys are all gonna die," Serenity cried, "And all that'll left will be me, Songo, Bakura, Mokuba, and Shippo!"
"Excuse me," Myoga asked, "But what about fleas?"
"I don't know." Tristan said, "It's never come up."
"In that case," Myoga said, jumping from Inu-yasha's shoulder to Serenity's, "Best to stick with the least likely to get slaughtered."
"I can't live without my brother or Setto!" Serenity cried. She grabbed Kaiba's hand, and said, "Come on! We're going upstairs right now! I'm going to die with you!"
"Wait I-!" Kiaba started, but Joey came to the rescue, by jerking their hands apart, and pushing Kaiba away from Serenity.
"Oh no, you don't!" Joey said. "Sis, you're stayin down here, while the rest of us become buffet."
"Yeah, who knows Serenity," Kagome said, "Who's knows? We might survive. At least I might make it."
"Oh, you're definitely going to get eaten," Inu-yasha said, sulking.
"But it's my house!" Kagome shouted at the han-you. "That make's me the heroine! And the heroine never dies!"
"She's right," Tristan pointed out, "The heroine never gets killed, no matter how many times she breaks the rules."
Inu-yasha got a funny look in his eyes and said to Kagome, "In that case, you wanna go upstairs and break the rules right now?"
"Not with you, I don't," Kagome said. "Not after what you said about Kikyo!"
"You're holding something against me that happened 50 years ago?" Inu-yasha asked her.
" No, I'm holding something against you that you said ten minutes ago! You're worse than Miroku!"
"Uh, speaking of whom," Yugi pointed, "Where is Miroku?" They looked about, and saw his staff on the floor. Just then, the lights went out, and they heard another blood curdling scream! Then, as the lights came back on, Miroku was fondling Songo's buttocks.
"Don't scare us like that!" She said, smacking him on the head.
"It's too early for anyone else to disappear, anyway," Tristan said. "There's usually an order to these things."
"How?" Bakura asked.
"Well, it's usually the last two people who broke numbers three through five." Tristan said.
"That's be us," Joey said, raising his and Mai's hands. "We broke two of those rules on the drive over here."
"You're not supposed to kiss and tell!" Mai yelled as she kicked Joey in the shins.
"AW! Dang it!" Joey cried, jumping up and down on one foot, "I gotta run with that leg!"
"Here, I'll try this one," she said, kicking him ion the other leg. Joey crumpled to the ground, holding both legs and crying like a baby. "I can't believe I broke number three with you," Mai said, disgusted.
"Don't worry," Tristan said. "You're in the clear. Duke was obviously the last one to break the rules. And he's about the least important member of the group."
"Yeah, but which rules did he break?" Yugi asked. "He doesn't seem to have a steady girlfriend, and I've never known him to drink or smoke."
"Check his jacket," Kaiba said, tossing it to Yugi. Yugi opened a pocket, and found a pack of cigarettes and a can of Sake.
"Well, that's one mystery solved," Tristan said.
"Well, Mr. Expert," Inu-yasha said, "Who's next?"
"Let me think…" Tristan said, sitting down. " After the most rule breaker, it's usually the snobby rich kid."
Kaiba rolled his eyes and asked, "Is that supposed to be funny?"
"Not really, man. I'm kinda sorry for ya." Tristan said.
"Couldn't have happened to a nicer fella," joey said, shaking Kaiba's hand. "I'm not gonna miss ya."
"Get off me," Kiaba said, wrenching his hand away. "It's bad enough having your sister crawl all over me. I don't need you, too."
"My sister's an angel!" Joey retorted. "You're lucky not to have had her!"
"Wait a minute," Tea interjected, " DOn't people usually get out through the windows in these movies?"
"That's right," Yugi said. "But we have to look for one's that'll open."
"Wasn't the bathroom window open?" Miroku asked.
"That's it!" Joey said, "We'll get out through the bathroom window!" All of them but Tristan leaped for the stairs, and made for the bathroom.
The door was locked, and wouldn't open.
As they trudged back to the living, Tristan lounged confidently on the sofa.
"Hey, how come you're didn't come with us?" Yugi asked Tristan.
"Because I knew it wouldn't work," Tristan answered.
"Then how did you know that you wouldn't be killed while we were gone?" Kaiba asked.
"Because the usually doesn't get killed off until the sequels. We've got a large group of people here, so we're looking at multiple sequels."
"WHAT!?!!" They all shouted again.
"Yup, I can see it now," Tristan said. "Years from now, when Mokuba's grown up and dating Serenity, and Kagome- being the heroine- is about to get married to that guy Hojo, this demon thing will come back and start killing all the survivors. Kagome will make it to the third movie, where there's a huge secret revealed as she makes the final standoff against the monster. Something ranging from an acient vendetta to the monster being Kagome's real father."
"WHAT?" Kagome shouted getting pale.
"This is ridiculous!" Inu-yasha yelled. He drew the Tetsusaiga, and said, "This is just your everyday, flesh eating demon! I've killed things like this thousands of times! Now, if you're all done being scared, I'm going to avenge Duke's death. If any of you have enough backbone to join me, then suck it up, and follow me." He turned on them, and started sniffing around the house.
"Okay," Tristan said, as he and everyone else formed a line of two by two, and followed him up the stairs, "But you've just sealed your horror movie fate. The hero guy is always after the rich kid. And From the way things look now, I'd say Kaiba's number is up in three, two, one…" As if on cue, the lights went out. The girls screamed, and there was a muffled cry for help.
When the lights went back on, Serenity jumped for joy, "Setto! You're still here! You're alive!"
"Of course I am," he said annoyed.
"Oh no!" Shippo cried, "Mokuba's gone!"
"What?! Mokuba!!?" They all cried.
"There are his shoes!" Shippo said, pointing to the empty sneakers on the floor. Setto Kaiba fell to his knees, and Tristan clamored about.
"This isn't right!" Tristan said, panicking, "Mokuba was safe! Kaiba was supposed to go! This isn't right!"
"The rules have been abandoned!" Myoga cried, "It's every flea for himself!" The flee jumped from Serenity's shoulder, and zipped off to hide.
Meanwhile, Kaiba reached to take the small sneakers, but inu-yasha yelled, "Don't ouch them!" The han-you ran over, and sniffed the shoes, saying, "I need to get the scent while it's fresh." He got up, and started running down the stairs, and into the Shrine's Shop. The others followed quickly. Inu-yasha smelled around the shop, but he found nothing.
"D#&% it!" Inu-yasha snarled, "The scent led me nowhere. There's nothing in here." The rest of the crew filed in behind him. Inu-yasha turned to Tristan, and barked, "If the hero's not killed, then who's next?"
"I… Uh.. It's usually the shy quiet kid who no one ever suspects of breaking the rules!" Tristan spit out. That meant Bakura! They all turned around, and found their friend unconscious, thrown over the shoulders of a hideous, warty, horned troll!
They all stared at it, and it stared at them. Before it grumbled, "What? What are you all looking at? Do I have something in my teeth?"
"GET HIM!" Inu-yasha shouted, hefting his sword. They all charged, and the troll ran off with it's prey over it's shoulder. They chased him back through the kitchen, into the living room, up the stairs, and into the upstairs hallway.
They followed the troll into one room, and the door closed behind them. Then, the door across the hall opened, and Joey, Kagome, and Yugi ran down and across the hall to the bathroom door. Miroku, chased by Mai and Kaiba ran across and up the hall to a closet. The troll came out of a bedroom, with Bakura on his shoulder, and Inu-yasha in hot pursuit. Then, Songo, Serenity, and Shippo were chasing the troll out of another bedroom, and into a third bedroom. Then, the troll ran out into the hallway, on the ceiling, followed by Shippo and Inu-yasha, also on the ceiling. Below them, Kagome, Serenity, Ayumi and Tristan ran from the bathroom, while Joey, Kaiba and Yugi came from one bed room, and and Miroku and Songo from another. Those on the ground looked up, and those on the ceiling looked down. Then, Bakura came to, and started screaming in the troll's ear. The troll quickly ran into a bedroom, followed by everyone.
The door opened, and everyone- except Tristan and Ayumi, who were conspicuously absent- with Bakura in the lead- came running from the room, chased by the troll. The troll stopped, mid chase, and opened a closet door. There inside were Tristan and Ayumi, making out one again. The two lovers screamed, and closed the door quickly. The others ran back past then, scattering into the other rooms, with the troll going only into one. Then, two doors opened. Out of the bathroom stormed everyone, and out of the bedroom stormed the troll.
As the teens ran for the stairs, Shippo tripped, and fell down, causing a chain reaction. Subsequently, everyone started tripping over everyone else, tumbling down the stairs in a big heap, with the troll landing on top. Suddenly, the lights went out yet again!