A/N: I don't own the original HP characters. I do own Madame, Malia, Ellie, and Katelyn, as well as the plot.
Chapter 9: Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!
"I do what I love
I love what I do
I DANCE"
"Hmmm…." I groaned lightly as I woke from my slumber. I lay in my bed with my eyes closed, thinking about the day ahead. Let's see…I would finally get started on Madame's piece, then maybe I would take Dad out to go miniature golfing or something (easier on the heart than real golf). Maybe I could convince Mum to make some of her amazing chocolate double-dutch brownies for dessert after dinner…
I inhaled deeply through my nose as if I could smell the goodies baking. Instead, my nose detected a woodsy odor-almost like men's cologne. I wrinkled my brow in confusion. Wasn't I at home? What did I own that smelled like that? I opened my eyes and gasped.
I was lying in a big, comfortable, blue-sheeted bed in a blue bedroom, with a messy desk crowded in the corner. I placed my hand on my stomach and was shocked to feel that it was bare. Now I was lying naked in a big, comfortable, blue-sheeted bed.
I sat up and pulled the sheets around me, trying to hide myself. Something-no, someone snored next to me.
Ron!
What…no….did we…The memory flooded back, cold as ice. We did…
I mentally slapped myself across the face. How could I have been so stupid? I'd gotten so caught up in the moment, that I'd gone mad! Now, I'd lost my virginity with a boy I'd only been dating for a week and a half!
Well, technically, you've known him for ten years, so it's okay, that little voice (which had gotten me into so much trouble before) rationalized.
I groaned softly and put my face in my hands. What had I done? Ugh-I'm so stupid! I screamed in my head. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Ballerinas don't get pregnant. What would I do if I found out, three weeks later, that I was pregnant? What would Mum and Dad say? They'd kick me out of the house! I wouldn't be able to turn to them for help or support ever again! And Madame…Oh, Merlin…
I remembered a girl who used to dance with us-until she got pregnant. She told us girls first, who responded with the appropriate tears and pats on the back. Then she told Madame (stupidly, in front of the entire class). I still remember Madame's low whisper: "Get out. You do not belong here. You have no self control whatsoever." The girl walked out, sobbing.
And the girls….Malia-what would she say? She'd be out of a roommate, that's for sure, and I'd lose one of my best friends….Ellie would probably advise me to just get an abortion and be done with it. I shuddered. I could never do that.
What about Mr. and Mrs. Weasley? They thought so highly of their son-they would see me as a lowlife tramp. And Ginny…she didn't deserve me as a bridesmaid, especially if I was going to be as big as a whale….
STOP THAT! a tiny, calm piece in me screamed. You don't know if you're pregnant for sure. Just because you shagged the guy one time doesn't mean you're pregnant.
I began thinking again and remembered that I'd finished my period three days ago-there was no way. I breathed again.
Now that I'd dismissed the physical risk, I turned to deal with the emotional baggage. This was harder-you couldn't just explain your feelings away with numbers or facts (believe me, I've tried).
Did I love Ron? Yes, I did-no denying that. Did I love what I'd done with him? Well, at that moment in time, I had….but now I regretted it. It had forged an emotional connection that was just too painful.
I had to go back to New York. Everything I'd worked for was there, just like Ron had said. I couldn't just give up all the time and money I had invested. I had to finish what I'd started, and that was that. Now-I had to go now. Otherwise, Ron would wake up, and I'd be a goner.
I slid silently out of bed, found the gown, and put it on. I grabbed my purse from the desk and gazed down at Ron's sleeping body. Merlin, he was gorgeous. I bent slowly to kiss him on the forehead, then straightened as if I'd been burned. I couldn't; it would make leaving him that much harder.
I closed my eyes, hoping I was doing the right thing, and Apparated to my house. I packed my bags haphazardly, left a note with some excuse about Malia being in a car accident, then Apparated to my dorm in New York. I didn't care anymore about using magic to get there. I just had to get there as quickly as possible.
I landed in the bathroom with a CRACK! Hoping Malia hadn't heard, I placed my bags quietly in my closet and climbed into bed, still wearing Ginny's gown and still remembering her brother's touch. Sleep claimed me almost instantly.
"Good morning, sleepyhead-or should I say, good afternoon."
I opened my eyes to see Malia perched at the foot of my bed, looking happy, yet worried at the same time.
"Do you want to go say hi to the other girls? They're so happy that you're back."
I shook my head slowly. "N-no."
"Okay…." She searched me with concerned eyes and closed the door. She sat down on my bed again, this time closer to me. "Is there anything you want to tell me? I'm sensing that something bad happened, considering you're back three days early and you didn't tell us ahead of time."
I stared at her. I couldn't form words. My brain had been scrubbed with steel wool.
"Is it your dad?"
I shook my head.
"Is it Ron?"
The floodgates burst open, all of a sudden.
"Oh, Hermione." She rubbed my back as I sobbed into her shoulder for ten straight minutes.
"I slept with him and then-then I just left him there!" I blubbered, wiping my nose on my bed sheet. I didn't care how sloppy I looked anymore.
Malia's eyebrows shot up. "You-you what?! Why?"
"I dunno….I love him, I guess." I blew my nose with the tissue she handed to me.
"I figured that would be the reason you slept with him….why did you leave him, though? That's pretty cold, especially from a guy's perspective. He'll think he did something wrong…"
This caused me to break into a fresh wave of tears. Malia sat patiently, waiting.
"I-I just got r-r-really scared. I thought ab-bout what could happen if I got p-p-pregnant, and what if I c-c-couldn't dance anymore? I mean, this is m-my dream! I have t-to make it come t-t-true. I can't let some guy stand in my way. I just have to get over him, that's all." I said the last two sentences with as much courage as I could muster.
Malia wrinkled her brow. She seemed to be considering something important.
"First of all, judging from what you've told me before, Ron isn't just "some guy"," she began slowly. "I think you should chat with someone who's been where you are now, though."
"I'm not talking to Madame about this."
"Please." She rolled her eyes. "Speaking of Madame, she wants you back in class tomorrow-sorry, but Katelyn spilled to her that you were back. I tried to stop her…"
"It's okay." I got out of bed, trying to show that it really was okay. Malia gawked at me.
"What are you wearing?"
I looked down. Ginny's dress. Oh, crap. Now, in addition to her thinking I was a heartbreaker, she'd think I was a thief.
Her whole family was going to hate me.
As would Madame….That ballet piece was going to be totally ad-lib…
Malia left me in the room. I threw my dance gear into a bag, determined to find an empty barre room and practice.
This is what you came to do, I lectured myself sternly. Now, go do it.
A/N: AHHHH! How can she be so silly?!! Oh well….she'll come around…I'm a sucker for happy endings…
Now you know why I added the two chapters at the same time. They should really be one chapter, but for the length, I split them up.
Shoutouts to my Chapter 7 reviewers:
KateM: Ron as a player? Oh, come on…his mama raised him well! Haha…I just don't see him that way. But Hermione is (or was) quite innocent. I hope I got the show right in the last chapter, I've never seen it (just heard the music). Glad you like it….
UnderAppreciated: I don't know….dating dumb people is just how you have to learn what you really want in life. I'm glad you like it-maybe I'll do something about the summary! Oh, for the record, he is a virgin-bratty Parvati's just jealous and doesn't think Hermione deserves a hottie such as Ron.
SwtChry2005: Glad you love it!
Figgiesblazin: I'm glad you like my speediness on updating; it just works for me.
Miss Hogwarts: Glad you like it…you got your snogging, but then Hermione left….I hope you don't hate me for that!
Everyone else: REVIEW!! It makes my day. Oh, and please don't freak out about Hermione, PLEASE!!! It's not over yet….