Part 5
They arrived at Burt's project and hurried to get the equipment set up. Jasper fussed over each knob and dial, insisting that they be set just so, in sequence, according to the readouts on his handheld.
Burt didn't waste time with that. He studied the settings Jasper was making, looked at the readouts on his handheld, and quickly rigged the device to work.
Jasper was astonished.
"You'll find Burt's rather a quick study," Kylie informed him proudly.
"But, but..." Jasper puffed out his cheeks and nodded toward Burt. "You could easily get a job at MNI," he commented. "I could--"
"Spend my life as a government stooge?" Burt scoffed contemptuously. "I don't think so."
Kylie headed off the coming storm by pointing out one of the meter needles that was fluctuating wildly and the men turned to their work.
Kylie just shook her head and watched.
Finally, the men stood back, arms crossed, and waited.
Kylie looked from one to the other, waiting for one of them to show a reaction. Shout "Eureka!" or something.
They didn't move.
"Well?" she demanded at last. "I don't hear anything."
Burt turned to her. "You wouldn't be able to hear it. Out of the human range of hearing."
"So how do we know if the nano are still busily digging away?"
"We'll have to go check," Burt said, and shoved Jasper toward the truck again.
Back at the cave-in site, Jasper again busied himself with the big piece of equipment, his hands darting over the controls with confident ease.
Kylie looked left and right, and over to Burt for reassurance. He was studying Jasper and ignoring her. She started wondering if the ground was going to disappear beneath her. If the nano were causing these cave-ins, and this was where they found the biggest concentration of them, shouldn't they all be falling into big giant holes right now and getting grabbed by huge hairy monsters? She took a step closer to Burt and waited. Finally, though, she couldn't take it anymore. "So? Are they gone? Dead? Marching home like good little soldiers?"
"I don't know," Jasper said. "I'm not sure. I-- They could be-- If they-- Well, they might--"
"Don't know?" Kylie repeated. "Well get out your tricorder and find out!"
"Oh! Yes!" Jasper dug out his handheld. He scanned for a while and finally turned to Burt. "I think it's working! They're-- well, some of them are shut down. It could take a-- Of course, some will be more durable than others and... There's not as much activity, at least. I'm not sure if..." He noticed Burt wasn't paying attention to him anymore.
Burt had other things to worry about. "What the hell?" He went to the seismo monitor. Kylie followed and Jasper trailed along behind. "El Blanco is making a beeline for the south end of the valley," he said. Then an idea hit him. "Oh no! No!"
"What?" Kylie wanted to know. They didn't need any more bad news today.
"The signal!" Burt groaned. "It's driving El Blanco crazy!"
"So turn it off!" Kylie said.
"No, not this one, the original! The other machine. It's attracting him."
"Oh goddess..." Kylie whispered. "That one's..."
Burt nodded. "Right in the middle of town."
Kylie followed as Burt headed for the truck, turning back just long enough to grab Jasper by the arm and drag him along too. They headed back to town as fast as they could, trying to beat El Blanco to the signal.
"He'll have to go around the big granite extrusion," Burt explained. "Maybe we can get there first."
As they went screaming toward town, Kylie turned to Jasper, holding on to the rollbar for dear life. "Has the signal done it's job? Are they dead?"
Jasper reached for the handheld in his pocket, but the power wagon slammed over a bump in the road and the scientist grabbed for the rollbar with both hands again. He nodded, then shrugged. "I don't know!" he shouted back over the sound of the truck's powerful engine. "I think they were almost-- They should be all-- We'll just have to hope!"
The truck threw up a cloud of dirt and dust as they pulled into town and skidded up to the building behind Tyler's garage. Burt threw himself out of the truck and hurried toward the door, only pausing briefly to kick open the lock. He rushed in and pulled the plug on the machine. The lights and dials faded as it died with a high-pitched feedback whine.
Kylie covered her ears and turned away, scurrying back out of the shed and wishing she hadn't been so fast to follow Burt in here.
The sight that met her eyes made her turn back around and join Burt inside. He was just following her out and the two collided. Burt staggered backward, and Kylie just pushed him further. She got into the building then turned and slammed the door shut.
Tried to slam it shut. The door hung from one hinge and didn't quite fit what was left of the frame. The shed wasn't in the best of condition to start with, and Burt's hurried assault on the door hadn't done it much good. Kylie did the best she could and threw herself in front of the door.
"They're coming!"
Through the grimy windows, Burt could see what she was talking about. A writhing sea of women wearing "Burt Gummer Fan Club" t-shirts swarmed toward the tiny building. To make matters worse, their seismos went off.
Burt didn't waste time, but shoved Kylie aside and flung open the door to warn the women. "Stand still! You must remain quiet!"
His loudly whispered orders fell on deaf ears. The women kept coming.
El Blanco burst out of the ground between the women and their quarry, knocking the first wave to the ground. His tentacles grabbed two of the women, prompting the rest to scatter for their lives. The two trapped women screamed and pawed at the ground in futile attempts to escape the maw of the worm.
Burt came to the rescue with a well-placed concussion grenade.
El Blanco, followed by his writhing tentacles, slipped back underground and roared away.
"That won't hold him long with these women ringing the dinner bell!" He shouted to Kylie over the hubbub the women were making.
"You've stirred 'em up," Kylie said. She could make out the occasional individual comment - "What a hero!" and "So brave!" - and knew the women were just gathering themselves for another frontal Burt Assault. She didn't think her Kimber would have much effect this time, unless she was willing to fire a couple warning shots into the women in the first rank.
"Come on!" She grabbed Burt and dragged him toward the power wagon as the women surged forward.
"It's too late to escape!" Burt shouted as they began to converge on them. "And El Blanco will be back in a minute."
"I know!" Kylie said. "You'll have to make the ultimate sacrifice."
She shoved him into the truck and kept on shoving until Burt was standing up in the back of the truck. Kylie stood beside him, encouraging the crowd to cheer for their hero. Once she had their attention, she started making motions for them to be quiet, indicating that Burt wanted to say a few words.
"I'm not going to make a speech!" Burt protested behind her, even pulling his hat down around his eyes. "Now isn't the time--"
"If we can get them to shut the hell up for a minute," Kylie said, forcing a smile for the crowd to her face, "you can tell them to get lost because El Blanco's coming back." Burt's face said he still didn't like the idea. "They won't listen to me, you know, and the only other option is to start shooting. You want me to get the rifles?"
Burt grimaced and eyed the finally quieting crowd resentfully, but nodded at last.
As the crowd fell silent, Kylie said, "Mr. Gummer would like to make an announcement, Ladies, so if you'll just give him a minute of your time..." That just stirred them up again, but they quieted quickly enough when Kylie stepped back behind Burt and their attention focused on him.
He stood, hands clasped behind his back in his traditional parade rest stance. Moments ticked by as Burt stared over the sea of faces and tried to think of what to say.
Kylie stifled a grin and shifted so she was hidden behind Burt. "Pretend they're a survival school class, Burt," she suggested in a whisper.
He threw her a sour glance, but began speaking, staring out over the women's heads. "In approximately four-and-a-half minutes, Perfection's Great White Graboid, El Blanco, will return. If you're still here when he does..."
With occasional prompting from Kylie, Burt outlined the possible fate of each and every one of the women should they be in Perfection when the graboid returned. Their fate seemed a bit more gruesome than it would have been if Burt alone was coming up with what to say, but he wasn't a woman and followed Kylie's advice on what to say to these who were.
Whether it was the threat of certain grisly death or the satisfaction of finally getting to see and hear the Great Man speak to them in person at last, the women quickly got in their cars and vans, boarded their buses, and at last, cleared out of Perfection. El Blanco, as far as Burt was able to ascertain, gave them an escort to the far south of the Valley, then turned back and wandered west, avoiding Perfection entirely.
When the monitors showed El Blanco turning away from the road, Burt heaved a sign of relief.
"Well, at least they're gone, Burt," Kylie said, standing next to him beside the truck.
"Until next year," Burt sighed sadly.
"They do this every year?"
Burt considered a moment, then nodded. "Every year about this time."
Kylie giggled, earning a frown from Burt. "I'm looking forward to next year's gathering."
He just grumbled something to himself, his expression sour.
"Don't worry big guy." Kylie slipped an arm around his waist and leaned against him. "I'll protect ya."
And for just a moment, Burt allowed it.