Chapter Seven
A Secret Kept No Longer
It was Bella's last night with the Malfoys. She couldn't sleep. She would be going to Hogwarts tomorrow, and it was with a mixture of regret and anticipation that she faced the prospect of spending the summer there taking placement tests. She tossed and turned, and kept kicking the covers off because she was too hot and then dragging them back on again when she got too cold.
At last, tired of staring at her eyelids, Bella sat up and swung her legs out of bed. All sorts of magical knowledge was bouncing around inside her skull and she couldn't think of a single thing to just knock her out and keep her that way for another few hours. And so, she made up her mind to go down and try and find one of the house-elves and ask for a glass of milk.
She still felt funny about just calling for them, and had never been entirely comfortable ordering them around. She had, after all, grown up in the Muggle world and was not used to being waited on hand and foot by weird little beings that seemed like there was nothing in the world they would rather be doing. Anyway, she didn't want to wake anyone up. Bella went walking.
When she first heard the noise she thought it was her imagination. She walked on, more quietly, and listening harder. Before too long, she heard it again. It was most definitely not her imagination. Someone was crying.
Following the sound she padded silently along, through the surreal patches of moonlight cast down by the moon outside. It seemed for a moment that she was dreaming, that she had had this dream before, but that feeling quickly dissolved when she realized that the sound was coming from inside the Malfoys' bedroom. Coming to the large door, she saw that it was open a crack. When she put her eye close to it, she was incredibly surprised to see the stately form of Narcissa Malfoy, her face in her hands, sobbing.
For a moment, Bella did nothing. She didn't know what to think. A multitude of reasons why she might be sitting up in the dead of night, crying and alone, flashed through her mind, and none of them seemed to fit, to be significant enough to explain the great hiccupping sobs that wracked her proud shoulders.
Bella could not have turned away then and in the end, she did what she knew she would have done all along. She knocked on the door. "Mrs. Malfoy?" she said softly, pushing the door open farther, "Are you okay?"
She saw her stiffen and look around. Then upon seeing her dishevelled visitor, she sighed. "Bella, come here." Her voice was thick with tears.
"What – what happened? What's wrong?" Bella was frightened to see her face pinched and working with emotion, with a sort of wild fear in her eyes.
She sighed, and when she spoke it was very slowly, like someone trying to figure out some kind of complicated puzzle. "Lucius is in prison."
"Prison!" exclaimed Bella, her eyes widening, "But how..."
"They were caught" she spat out, looking at the floor. "In the Ministry...and now they know..."
"Who? What do they know?"
Mrs. Malfoy's face twisted in a bitter grimace. "That the Dark Lord has returned."
Bella's stomach flip-flopped. What could this mean? She herself was not too keen to see Voldemort in power, but what would happen to the family if Mr. Malfoy were in Azkaban?
But now Mrs. Malfoy was speaking very quickly. "Of course, they won't be able to hold them. The dementors won't be around long. But still, he'll be a wanted man and –and –and" She choked back a sob and fell silent.
But Bella could tell what she feared now. "And you're afraid Draco will want to join him?"
Mrs. Malfoy looked at Bella in shock as if she had just spoken some great and ancient secret aloud. Bella had noticed long ago that Narcissa held a lot of affection for her only son. But after a moment, she nodded, and then said mournfully, "It's a war, Bella. Y-you can't understand it properly, you're too young. You don't know what it was like last time, after he lost his power. And now the war is starting again! They're all so sure we'll win this time, but they're all naive, so naïve!" She choked back a sob. "They're all so sure, but if we don't..." she moaned and put her face in her hands.
Bella put an arm around Mrs. Malfoy's shoulders. "Mrs Malfoy, there, please don't cry..." She was astounded to see her like this. And she didn't think she'd live to see another human being call a pack of Death Eaters naïve.
"And now you're in danger from it too...Bella, I'm so sorry, that it's happened this way."
"Please don't be sorry, it isn't your fault. Take a few breaths," said Bella, and was relieved when Mrs. Malfoy began to follow her advice. She squeezed her hand and felt an encouraging pressure in return.
They were both silent for many minutes. The big old house was silent around them. The only sound was a large clock ticking somewhere, several rooms away.
When Mrs Malfoy finally spoke, her voice did not sound like itself. "Bella?" she said quietly.
"Yeah?"
She paused, and then continued. "Would you like to know why the Ministry never knew about you? Why no one ever traced you after your mother died?" She took a deep breath. "It wasn't an accident."
For a moment Bella thought she hadn't heard correctly. "Y-yes, I would," she said, her voice sounding very small all of a sudden.
"It was your mother's idea," said Mrs Malfoy. She was silent for a long moment, so long that Bella thought she might not speak again, but at last she went on. "After your father was killed, your mother disappeared for a while. I don't know how long, it was more than a year. I never knew where she'd been, but one day, out of the clear blue sky, she contacted me. She wanted to meet me in secret. When I went to see her, she had you." She smiled at Bella then. "You were a lovely child, Bella. But Ursula...she was at her wits end. She was on the run by then. The Ministry knew who she was and the Aurors were tracking her down. All she wanted by then was to keep you safe. She wanted you to be raised safely and in secret. I remember she said she didn't want you raised to hate your parents names, and your own." She paused again, looking into Bella's widening eyes.
"I was her secret keeper."
"Oh!" Bella couldn't speak for a moment. "How in the world...? So that was how she...how you did it?" Bella felt what might have been a lump in her throat.
Mrs Malfoy nodded. "And I kept you secret all this time. I thought she had some idea of where to put you, that she knew a family that could raise you. I don't know. I thought...that she'd arranged it with the wizard who helped us. I never knew him...It wasn't long after that that I heard she'd died fighting the Aurors when they tried to overtake her." She swallowed hard. "I didn't know what had become of you, and I always thought she'd found a place for you. No one except the two of us ever knew you existed. Can you imagine what it was like when Lucius told me you were here, under this roof? That you had practically wandered up to the door?"
Bella was silent for a long time. This was a lot to take in. Her mind had been whirring with activity a moment ago, but now there were tears in her eyes. So this was the secret. This was how the Ministry had looked right over her head. She could have passed for any wizard baby, or any Muggle child with a strange bracelet. When she spoke there was a tremor in her voice. "Mrs Malfoy?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you," she said. Mrs Malfoy pressed her hand, and Bella went on, "No, for everything, everything you've done for me...I don't know what would have happened, but I owe you so much..."
"Bella, there's only one thing you owe me, and that's a promise. Will you make me a promise?"
Bella nodded, looking up at her. "Yes," she said firmly.
Mrs Malfoy looked on the verge of tears again. Her voice broke when she spoke. "Promise me that you'll use your life well. That you won't let anyone lie to you, the way they lie to everyone. That you won't join a doomed army and die before you've gotten a chance to live." Fixing Bella full in the gaze of her piercing blue eyes, she went on, biting back sobs as she said, "Nothing you could ever believe in is worth your life, and anyone who will tell you otherwise is either lying or a fool."
For a long time Bella looked at her. And then, with all her conviction behind her, she answered, "I promise."
Mrs Malfoy hugged her close and dropped a kiss on the top of Bella's head. The two of them sat there, sunk in the edge of the large soft bed. It was a long time before either of them moved again.
A Secret Kept No Longer
It was Bella's last night with the Malfoys. She couldn't sleep. She would be going to Hogwarts tomorrow, and it was with a mixture of regret and anticipation that she faced the prospect of spending the summer there taking placement tests. She tossed and turned, and kept kicking the covers off because she was too hot and then dragging them back on again when she got too cold.
At last, tired of staring at her eyelids, Bella sat up and swung her legs out of bed. All sorts of magical knowledge was bouncing around inside her skull and she couldn't think of a single thing to just knock her out and keep her that way for another few hours. And so, she made up her mind to go down and try and find one of the house-elves and ask for a glass of milk.
She still felt funny about just calling for them, and had never been entirely comfortable ordering them around. She had, after all, grown up in the Muggle world and was not used to being waited on hand and foot by weird little beings that seemed like there was nothing in the world they would rather be doing. Anyway, she didn't want to wake anyone up. Bella went walking.
When she first heard the noise she thought it was her imagination. She walked on, more quietly, and listening harder. Before too long, she heard it again. It was most definitely not her imagination. Someone was crying.
Following the sound she padded silently along, through the surreal patches of moonlight cast down by the moon outside. It seemed for a moment that she was dreaming, that she had had this dream before, but that feeling quickly dissolved when she realized that the sound was coming from inside the Malfoys' bedroom. Coming to the large door, she saw that it was open a crack. When she put her eye close to it, she was incredibly surprised to see the stately form of Narcissa Malfoy, her face in her hands, sobbing.
For a moment, Bella did nothing. She didn't know what to think. A multitude of reasons why she might be sitting up in the dead of night, crying and alone, flashed through her mind, and none of them seemed to fit, to be significant enough to explain the great hiccupping sobs that wracked her proud shoulders.
Bella could not have turned away then and in the end, she did what she knew she would have done all along. She knocked on the door. "Mrs. Malfoy?" she said softly, pushing the door open farther, "Are you okay?"
She saw her stiffen and look around. Then upon seeing her dishevelled visitor, she sighed. "Bella, come here." Her voice was thick with tears.
"What – what happened? What's wrong?" Bella was frightened to see her face pinched and working with emotion, with a sort of wild fear in her eyes.
She sighed, and when she spoke it was very slowly, like someone trying to figure out some kind of complicated puzzle. "Lucius is in prison."
"Prison!" exclaimed Bella, her eyes widening, "But how..."
"They were caught" she spat out, looking at the floor. "In the Ministry...and now they know..."
"Who? What do they know?"
Mrs. Malfoy's face twisted in a bitter grimace. "That the Dark Lord has returned."
Bella's stomach flip-flopped. What could this mean? She herself was not too keen to see Voldemort in power, but what would happen to the family if Mr. Malfoy were in Azkaban?
But now Mrs. Malfoy was speaking very quickly. "Of course, they won't be able to hold them. The dementors won't be around long. But still, he'll be a wanted man and –and –and" She choked back a sob and fell silent.
But Bella could tell what she feared now. "And you're afraid Draco will want to join him?"
Mrs. Malfoy looked at Bella in shock as if she had just spoken some great and ancient secret aloud. Bella had noticed long ago that Narcissa held a lot of affection for her only son. But after a moment, she nodded, and then said mournfully, "It's a war, Bella. Y-you can't understand it properly, you're too young. You don't know what it was like last time, after he lost his power. And now the war is starting again! They're all so sure we'll win this time, but they're all naive, so naïve!" She choked back a sob. "They're all so sure, but if we don't..." she moaned and put her face in her hands.
Bella put an arm around Mrs. Malfoy's shoulders. "Mrs Malfoy, there, please don't cry..." She was astounded to see her like this. And she didn't think she'd live to see another human being call a pack of Death Eaters naïve.
"And now you're in danger from it too...Bella, I'm so sorry, that it's happened this way."
"Please don't be sorry, it isn't your fault. Take a few breaths," said Bella, and was relieved when Mrs. Malfoy began to follow her advice. She squeezed her hand and felt an encouraging pressure in return.
They were both silent for many minutes. The big old house was silent around them. The only sound was a large clock ticking somewhere, several rooms away.
When Mrs Malfoy finally spoke, her voice did not sound like itself. "Bella?" she said quietly.
"Yeah?"
She paused, and then continued. "Would you like to know why the Ministry never knew about you? Why no one ever traced you after your mother died?" She took a deep breath. "It wasn't an accident."
For a moment Bella thought she hadn't heard correctly. "Y-yes, I would," she said, her voice sounding very small all of a sudden.
"It was your mother's idea," said Mrs Malfoy. She was silent for a long moment, so long that Bella thought she might not speak again, but at last she went on. "After your father was killed, your mother disappeared for a while. I don't know how long, it was more than a year. I never knew where she'd been, but one day, out of the clear blue sky, she contacted me. She wanted to meet me in secret. When I went to see her, she had you." She smiled at Bella then. "You were a lovely child, Bella. But Ursula...she was at her wits end. She was on the run by then. The Ministry knew who she was and the Aurors were tracking her down. All she wanted by then was to keep you safe. She wanted you to be raised safely and in secret. I remember she said she didn't want you raised to hate your parents names, and your own." She paused again, looking into Bella's widening eyes.
"I was her secret keeper."
"Oh!" Bella couldn't speak for a moment. "How in the world...? So that was how she...how you did it?" Bella felt what might have been a lump in her throat.
Mrs Malfoy nodded. "And I kept you secret all this time. I thought she had some idea of where to put you, that she knew a family that could raise you. I don't know. I thought...that she'd arranged it with the wizard who helped us. I never knew him...It wasn't long after that that I heard she'd died fighting the Aurors when they tried to overtake her." She swallowed hard. "I didn't know what had become of you, and I always thought she'd found a place for you. No one except the two of us ever knew you existed. Can you imagine what it was like when Lucius told me you were here, under this roof? That you had practically wandered up to the door?"
Bella was silent for a long time. This was a lot to take in. Her mind had been whirring with activity a moment ago, but now there were tears in her eyes. So this was the secret. This was how the Ministry had looked right over her head. She could have passed for any wizard baby, or any Muggle child with a strange bracelet. When she spoke there was a tremor in her voice. "Mrs Malfoy?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you," she said. Mrs Malfoy pressed her hand, and Bella went on, "No, for everything, everything you've done for me...I don't know what would have happened, but I owe you so much..."
"Bella, there's only one thing you owe me, and that's a promise. Will you make me a promise?"
Bella nodded, looking up at her. "Yes," she said firmly.
Mrs Malfoy looked on the verge of tears again. Her voice broke when she spoke. "Promise me that you'll use your life well. That you won't let anyone lie to you, the way they lie to everyone. That you won't join a doomed army and die before you've gotten a chance to live." Fixing Bella full in the gaze of her piercing blue eyes, she went on, biting back sobs as she said, "Nothing you could ever believe in is worth your life, and anyone who will tell you otherwise is either lying or a fool."
For a long time Bella looked at her. And then, with all her conviction behind her, she answered, "I promise."
Mrs Malfoy hugged her close and dropped a kiss on the top of Bella's head. The two of them sat there, sunk in the edge of the large soft bed. It was a long time before either of them moved again.