Chapter Three: Pinprick To My Heart

Who's the beta of the fic that's written all by me?

M-E-R-I-T-H M-O-U-S-E!

(Okay, she's not a mouse, but otherwise it doesn't scan.)

Also lots of love to Niamh, who is going through withdrawal in Tampa. Play more Halo, honey.

Inuyasha! Does not belong to me! But you knew that!

Chapter title and epigraph come from "Ghost," by the Indigo Girls, which I used already. Oh well.

***

When I wake the things I dreamt about you
last night make me blush

***

Kagome opened her eyes slowly, blinking up at the brilliant blue sky. How funny. I don't remember falling asleep outside. She stretched her arms over her head, feeling her muscles protest at sleeping slumped against a tree. I don't know how Inuyasha manages to sleep sitting up all the time.... A red-and-silver flicker caught her eye. "Inuyasha?" He was sitting next to her, frowning at thin air. A memory teased at the back of Kagome's mind, but vanished when she tried to focus on it. She shrugged it off and crawled over, peering at him. "What's wrong?"

He said nothing, turning away from her slightly.

"Come on, talk to me." When his ears only flattened, she poked him in the side. "You know I won't go away until you talk to me."

Inuyasha shifted and sighed. "You ran away from me."

Kagome blinked. "I did?"

"The other night," he said. "I was holding you, and then... you vanished."

Kagome stared at him. Her spine prickled. "That was a dream, and I didn't tell you about it."

"Was it?" he said softly.

All of her blood tingled until she could feel it dancing in her veins. "I thought it was."

Inuyasha turned, his eyes glowing like honey in sunlight. He took her hand, absently tracing little circles on the inside of her wrist with his thumb claw. Kagome swallowed hard. "How can our being together be a dream?"

Her eyes fluttered half-shut. "You don't want me that way."

"How do you know?" he said, even more quietly. He trapped her other wrist and began drawing her closer.

"You don't...."

"It's real here, Kagome. I'll never leave you. We can finally be happy."

Tears welled in Kagome's eyes. "I can't live in a lie, and I can't pretend you feel something you don't. It's wrong."

All the warmth in his eyes crystallized in a moment. "You don't want to be with me?"

"No!" She turned her hands in his, weaving their fingers together. "You have no idea."

Inuyasha leaned in close. Kagome felt the sun soak into her hair, and wanted to blame it for her light-headedness rather than how close his beseeching golden eyes were. "Maybe me not loving you is the lie. Maybe the world where we aren't together isn't real. Maybe this is how it all gets made right. No shards, no Naraku, no Kikyo, no pain. Just us."

The tremor around Kagome's heart grew until it shook her body. I want this. I want this. It's all I've ever wanted.

I can't do it. She opened her mouth to tell him so, but somewhere between the thought and the words, it twisted and came out, "How?"

Inuyasha let go of one of her hands and reached up, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. "Just say you'll stay with me." He leaned in closer, and she could feel his warm breath brush her mouth, almost taste him on her tongue. "Tell me you want to stay with me, then seal it with a kiss."

Kagome clenched her free hand until she felt her nails break the skin. "I can't. You know I can't. I have responsibilities. I can't leave them."

Inuyasha's eyes clouded and he leapt to his feet. "You'd rather go back there? To where we're lonely? To where I never touch you? You can't convince me you want that, Kagome. I know you too well."

"Stop it," Kagome said miserably, huddling in on herself. "Don't make this harder."

He dropped to his knees in front of her, a nakedly pleading expression on his face. "One kiss," he whispered. "You don't even have to say the words. Just kiss me."

Kagome held her hands out, warding him off. "Please...." With a mixture of near-painful relief and unbearable regret, she felt the dream begin to break up around her. Inuyasha faded slowly, his eyes burning into hers. "You can't fight me forever," he said softly. It was the last thing she heard as her eyes fluttered open.

***

Kagome rolled onto her side, curling into a ball. Rain drummed on the roof of the hut, playing counterpoint to her thundering heart. It was just a dream. It wasn't real. Lightning flashed, bathing the hut in brilliant illumination for a second, before plunging it back into muted shades of gray. For a moment, Kagome felt disoriented, remembering the warm sensation of sun in her hair. Her palm stung. She opened her hand to see dark pink crescents carved into her skin. I did that in my sleep. No big deal.

Kiss me.

She closed her fist instinctively.

"Hey, Sleepin' Fuckin' Beauty! You awake yet?"

Kagome lay still for a moment, listening to the rain, staring at the new moons in her palm. "Yeah. I'm coming."

***

Of all my demon spirits I need you the most
I'm in love with your ghost