"Hello, Weasley. Slow day in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts department ?"
"Good morning, Snape. Headmistress. Ah, and this must be Veronica." Arthur Weasley strode to meet the girl, shaking her hand enthusiastically. "Welcome back !" Snape and McGonagall watched, bemused, as Arthur Weasley chatted amiably with the result of Snape's foray into Dark magic. Not surprising that the man liked children, Snape supposed. It would explain his having spawned seven of his own. Weasley's smile disappeared as he turned back to the two professors. "This is a very serious matter, Professor Snape." The next hour dragged tediously as the potions master repeated his story to Weasley, who took copious notes on a magical clipboard. "There will have to be an official hearing, of course. Professor McGonagall, we'll consider Professor Snape remanded to your custody until then ? Good. I'm afraid you'll be facing a hefty fine at the least, Snape."
He was barely listening as the bureaucrat droned on. What exactly would a pauper like Weasley consider a hefty fine, he wondered. "... legal guardian, you'll need to make an appointment with the department of Child Welfare, fill out the paperwork. And a Social-Wizard will be assigned to check up on the child periodically, of course..."
Snape's attention snapped back abruptly. Surely not ! "What did you say ?"
"You are the child's legal guardian," Weasley explained.
"Nonsense ! I can't possibly-"
Arthur Weasley's bland expression became stern, suddenly intimidating. "A real man doesn't bring a child into the world unless he's prepared to care for her, Snape," he said quietly.
Snape bridled. "I've never shirked my responsibilities," he hissed. "I have every intention of making sure the girl receives a good education." He glared at the Ministry official. "But paperwork ? Visits from Social-Wizards ? You can't-"
"Oh, I can, Professor Snape. I can." Weasley turned to the hearth and picked up the container of floo powder. "I suggest you cooperate fully with the Child Welfare department. It might influence the Wizangamot to be lenient with you. Even so, you may well wind up serving time in Azkaban." He stepped across the grate. "Good luck with your O.W.L.s, Veronica," he called. "Good day, Minerva."
Severus Snape slouched in his chair and pretended interest while McGonagall and the girl conferred over her schedule for the term. Weasley's comment about prison didn't particularly concern him. If the Ministry of Magic really thought he belonged in Azkaban, they would have sent a team of Aurors to take him there straightaway, he reasoned. He glowered at his creation, cursing the headache that still pounded relentlessly. Once McGonagall was finished with the child, he'd re-introduce her to her classmates in Slytherin House, hand her over to one of the prefects for assignment to a dormitory, and then get on with his life.
Finally, McGonagall rose to her feet. "That should do it, Miss Stuart." She saw her to the staircase, then handed Snape a piece of parchment. He held it at arm's length but still had to squint to read the writing. Some sort of list, he decided. "I don't envy you, becoming father to a teenager at your age," McGonagall said softly as Veronica descended out of sight. He thought he detected a twinkle in the headmistress' eye. It reminded Snape uncomfortably of her predecessor.
"Legal guardian," he corrected her. "Temporary legal guardian. She'll be of age in two years."
McGonagall tapped the list in his hand. There was definitely a twinkle in her eye. He didn't like it at all. "Meanwhile, Severus, you have school shopping to take care of," she retorted.