Random Stupidity

by Ethra Esme

A/N: You may notice some timeline rifts in the next few chappies, this being seventh year and after the 4th and 5th books. This is so it will be spoiler-free. How considerate of me. Or just lazy.

Chapter Fifteen

All My Hot Sons

She pretty much fell out of the fireplace once she arrived at Grimmauld Place.

And hit her head on the stone floor.

And got knocked unconscious.

Again.

She woke up some hours later in a large bed in a large room. Sunlight was falling into the room through an open window.

Ethra sat up and looked around the room. No one.

She got up and ran out of the room and down a hall, glimpsing some stairs and running for them.

Suddenly, a figure carrying a tray turned a corner whilst coming up the stairs. She didn't have any time to stop, however, and bowled into it.

Him.

Remus Lupin and Ethra came to a tumbling halt at the bottom of the stairs, the tray, teapot, etcetera still bouncing down the stairs.

'Man, if I don't stop falling on men, people are going to start thinking I'm doing it on purpose.' Ethra though, sitting up and rubbing her sore head.

"Um...map?" Is all she could ask.

"Yes, yes, I got it." The mustachioed (yes, like the movie version) man nodded. "Had to hide it from Severus, he came after you."

"He came after me and then left?" She asked, a little hurt. Lupin got to his feet and helped her up, then waved his wand and made the large food mess disappear.

Ethra noticed she was dressed in a pair of black pajama pants and a comfy blue tee shirt.

"Oh, good. Clothes." She smiled. "Oh, yeah, Harry?"

Lupin raised a disgruntled eyebrow at her. "Yes, had to hide him, too."

"Got him back to school?"

"Yes."

"How nice for the author to do all her footwork for her like that."

"Yes, yes, quite."

Ethra looked around, uncomfortable. "...um...So?"

Lupin cleared his throat. "Well, Dumbledore feels that under your particular...circumstances...you should leave school. And since it wouldn't be much of a story if you just went back home, you get to live here." Lupin sighed, longsufferingly. "With us."

Ethra's eyes got wider and wider until finally-

"OMG I GET TO LIVE WITH U GUYZ HERE IN THE MOROWDER ORDER HOUSE THINGY OMG OMG !!!!111one!!" She screamed, ungodly loud.

The portrait of Sirius' mother in the hall started screaming obsceneties.

"Wow...Rowling really cleaned that up for the book, didn't she?"

"Yeah, dirty mouth, eh?" Remus went to take care of the painting, and Ethra took the oppurtunity to look around a little.

She wandered down a long, dusty hallway, and into a dingy library.

"Hello?" A female voice said quietly.

"Oh my fucking hell shit damnit!" Ethra yelled and jumped about a foot in the air. She spun around whilst jumping and fell on her ass. Above her stood a sturdy red headed woman with a scowl on her face.

"That is the most unladylike string of obsceneties I have ever heard uttered in one sentence." She growled disaprovingly.

Ethra smiled. "Oh, I could totally trump that."

Mrs. Weasley's gaze just darkened.

"...Sorry." Ethra mumbled, climbing to her feet.

"So you're our new 'houseguest', right?"

"Yeah. I think Dumbledore's keeping me here because, well...."

"You're clumsy and not too bright and know WAY to much to fall into enemy hands?"

"Er....that and the author ran out of ideas." Ethra thought for a moment. "Hey, do you know where Addie is? Addie McDuff?"

"Oh, yes. She'll be coming with Professor Bowie when he comes tonight for the Order meeting."

"Oh, oh! Do I get to be in th-"

"NO!" Mrs. Weasley shouted.

"But...but...are the twins in the Order?"

"No. But they're coming tonight, because the author thinks they're hot and wants to write about them."

"Yay! What about-"

"Yes, all my hot sons are coming." Mrs. Weasley shook her head and turned around, muttering unpleasant things about the bitchatrix author.