Random Stupidity
by Ethra Esme
A/N: Well, it's been a while since I updated, huh? My codes didn't work on 19 for some reason, but I think I'll just leave them that way. BECAUSE I AM LAZY.
Chapter Twenty
It Gets Silly
"I wanna fuck Lucius."
Addie slapped Ethra. "Snap out of it."
"Ow. Whore." She slapped Addie back. "I...he's so....PRETTY...."
"It's his perfume."
"Yeah. A beautiful scent, isn't it..."
"No, I mean, he wears a strong pheremone perfume so that everyone will be attracted to him. Men, women, ghosts..."
"Ghosts?"
"Yes."
"Oh, Gods, I want that man to do me.."
"ETHRA!"
"Sorry." Ethra stared off into space, until she heard a noise....it was like...a horse galloping.
She stood up and perked her ears, listening. It had to be...a horse...
Finally, she caught sight of something, across the grounds...it was getting...closer...
Addie stood up. "Who is that??"
"I...don't know..."
It was a large bay horse with a flowing black mane and tail. As it got ever closer, Ethra saw it was not simply a horse, but-
"A bicorn!" She pointed. Addie looked. Indeed, perched atop its red-brown head was a set of ram-like, black horns.
The animal was indeed coming toward them, and the rider pulled up the reins a few yards from them. The bicorn whinnied dramatically and stopped, prancing in place for a moment and then quieting. The rider urged the bicorn to walk on, and walked toward the two girls, circling them and eyeing them. He had on breeches and a riding coat, and an adorable floppy black hat.
"OH MY GOD! IT'S COLONEL BRANDON! OMFG!!!!!" Ethra screamed
The horse spooked and reared, hitting Ethra in the forehead with a hoof. She was flown quite a few feet from the animal and landed, dead.
"I think she's coming to..."
"Severus, stop slapping her!"
"Why? It helps!"
"Look at that bruise!"
"Look at that blood!"
"Oh, my darling, darling Ethra..."
"Harry, shut the fuck up."
"Bite me, Ron. OW! Not really!"
Ethra's eyes fluttered open gently.
"Holy shit."
"She's alive!" Harry flung himself down upon Ethra's still bleeding body, showering her face with kisses.
"Wh-muh...hey!" Ethra tried to pry him off, but Snape just grabbed him by the hair and flung him away.
"Damnit, Potter, you horny little bastard."
Ethra looked from Severus to McGonagall, to...
"It's Brandon! Colonel Brandon!"
The man raised an eyebrow, and Snape looked up at him.
"Um, she keeps calling me that." The man said, shifting uncomfortably.
McGonagall bent down, looking at Ethra. "This is Mark St.Marksman. Our temporary beastmaster and Care of Magical Creatures teacher whilst Hagrid is..er...indisposed."
"Oh, tell her the truth, Minerva!" Snape rolled his eyes, and scowled. "He's off and joined a MagiBroadway production of 'Jack and the Beanstalk'."
Ethra looked at Minerva, who nodded.
"Oh....kay."
"STUPIFY!" Someone from the crowd yelled, and everything again went blank for Ethra.
by Ethra Esme
A/N: Well, it's been a while since I updated, huh? My codes didn't work on 19 for some reason, but I think I'll just leave them that way. BECAUSE I AM LAZY.
Chapter Twenty
It Gets Silly
"I wanna fuck Lucius."
Addie slapped Ethra. "Snap out of it."
"Ow. Whore." She slapped Addie back. "I...he's so....PRETTY...."
"It's his perfume."
"Yeah. A beautiful scent, isn't it..."
"No, I mean, he wears a strong pheremone perfume so that everyone will be attracted to him. Men, women, ghosts..."
"Ghosts?"
"Yes."
"Oh, Gods, I want that man to do me.."
"ETHRA!"
"Sorry." Ethra stared off into space, until she heard a noise....it was like...a horse galloping.
She stood up and perked her ears, listening. It had to be...a horse...
Finally, she caught sight of something, across the grounds...it was getting...closer...
Addie stood up. "Who is that??"
"I...don't know..."
It was a large bay horse with a flowing black mane and tail. As it got ever closer, Ethra saw it was not simply a horse, but-
"A bicorn!" She pointed. Addie looked. Indeed, perched atop its red-brown head was a set of ram-like, black horns.
The animal was indeed coming toward them, and the rider pulled up the reins a few yards from them. The bicorn whinnied dramatically and stopped, prancing in place for a moment and then quieting. The rider urged the bicorn to walk on, and walked toward the two girls, circling them and eyeing them. He had on breeches and a riding coat, and an adorable floppy black hat.
"OH MY GOD! IT'S COLONEL BRANDON! OMFG!!!!!" Ethra screamed
The horse spooked and reared, hitting Ethra in the forehead with a hoof. She was flown quite a few feet from the animal and landed, dead.
"I think she's coming to..."
"Severus, stop slapping her!"
"Why? It helps!"
"Look at that bruise!"
"Look at that blood!"
"Oh, my darling, darling Ethra..."
"Harry, shut the fuck up."
"Bite me, Ron. OW! Not really!"
Ethra's eyes fluttered open gently.
"Holy shit."
"She's alive!" Harry flung himself down upon Ethra's still bleeding body, showering her face with kisses.
"Wh-muh...hey!" Ethra tried to pry him off, but Snape just grabbed him by the hair and flung him away.
"Damnit, Potter, you horny little bastard."
Ethra looked from Severus to McGonagall, to...
"It's Brandon! Colonel Brandon!"
The man raised an eyebrow, and Snape looked up at him.
"Um, she keeps calling me that." The man said, shifting uncomfortably.
McGonagall bent down, looking at Ethra. "This is Mark St.Marksman. Our temporary beastmaster and Care of Magical Creatures teacher whilst Hagrid is..er...indisposed."
"Oh, tell her the truth, Minerva!" Snape rolled his eyes, and scowled. "He's off and joined a MagiBroadway production of 'Jack and the Beanstalk'."
Ethra looked at Minerva, who nodded.
"Oh....kay."
"STUPIFY!" Someone from the crowd yelled, and everything again went blank for Ethra.