I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any of its characters. If I did, do you really think I'd waste my time talking to you about them instead of talking to them?
READ THE AN in chapter 3. Then come back and read this. :)
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Incidental Pyrotechnics
Incident Five: Burnt
Heads poked out of classroom doors all along the 500 hallway of Domino High, intrigued by the Doppler-effect scream they'd just heard. Those who looked out of their classroom doors quickly enough spotted a tall, well- built, sandy-blonde quickly disappearing down the hall; those who looked really quickly were nearly knocked over by the reed-thin, emerald-eyed, raven-haired boy chasing him. All, regardless of whether they'd seen the mobile, flaming source of the screams, heard what he said.
"Fire?" they whispered to each other. "But the smoke alarms aren't going off."
"Yeah, and the sprinklers aren't on either!"
"Baka, there's no smoke in this room! Of course the sprinklers aren't on in here!"
"Sorry."
"It's probably just a prank."
Then the gaggle of Joey and Duke's classmates followed the pair of banshee- wannabes down the hall, panicked, yammering to each other as they went, and the classrooms emptied as the students gave credence to Joey's wails.
In the 300 hall, a comparable spectacle was simultaneously occurring, but to much less skepticism. First, because the burning individual-Tristan-was only smoking, and was running much less quickly. Second, because Téa and Mai, howling their heads off at him as they ran towards the front door of the school, were spouting much more intelligible and intelligent phrases than Duke's dog commands. Third, because Mai, Téa, and Tristan were bringing up the rear of the parade, following their frenzied salon teacher and classmates out of the building.
Students began to filter out of their classrooms in the wake of the coiffure class, and milled about in the hallway aimlessly for a bit before being directed to "vacate the building in an orderly fashion." Translation: the students formed a mob as they flowed down the hall en masse, yelling back and forth to each other across the queue, joking, and in general, babbling at such a volume the teachers' directives were soon drowned out.
Meanwhile, Marik, Bakura, and Ryou kept busy exchanging blows and insults as they were pressed through the halls towards the exits, pressed in the middle of the tight-knit herd of chemistry students.
"Baka-ra! Ethanol is FLAMMABLE! What're you trying to DO, burn the school down?"
Bakura chuckled at his hikari's unintentional pun. "No, but if I'm lucky, at least the lab will be totaled!"
Ryou responded to that with a slap, though since he couldn't get any force behind it both because of the press of students around him and his existing weakness, it did little but to get Marik involved in the argument.
"Hey, don't hit him!"
"Hey, don't set things on fire, and I wouldn't have to!"
Ryou's taller twin, his hair mussed and his eyes mischievous, impudently shot back, "What's wrong with setting things on fire? That was the point of the lab, wasn't it, Ryou?"
Ryou just shook his head and let the flow of the crowd carry him away from his yami, wishing his hair weren't already white, so he'd have some sort of proof that those two were sending him to an early death.
Kaiba sauntered out of the school building at a slow pace, determined not to let more damage be done to his cool demeanor than the twin flame-haired midgets had caused already. A strange tableau of performances greeted his eyes, and he walked down the steps of the building to weave between the actors. Intermingled among the many identical faces of anonymous students of the school were those he grudgingly recognized. First passing a howling mad Marik and a laughing Bakura, Kaiba continued on his imperturbable way through the crowd, hoping that the madmen wouldn't take issue with his presence, as they were prone to do. He noticed Téa and Mai abusing Tristan off on the edges of the queue of students-Mai was sitting atop Tristan's shoulders, facing his legs, and batting fiercely at them with a towel, despite the fact that they had long since ceased to burn. Opportunist that he was, Tristan still found no enjoyment in this arrangement, as Téa was in the middle of a tirade against his intelligence for setting himself on fire with hair gel, which was periodically punctuated by Mai's beating-Kaiba moved on, chuckling to himself that he'd known that ridiculous hairdo would cause Tristan pain eventually. Ryou and Yugi were right in front of him, Ryou sitting on the lawn, and Yugi standing barely taller than him, pulling his hand in an attempt to get him to follow the smaller boy; he heard "Joey" as part of the plea. Kaiba had almost walked into them, not that it would've mattered. Even with that bright hair, Yugi was small enough to qualify as a toy dog sometimes.
And speaking of dogs.
Joey Wheeler was still running. His apron was burnt away by now, only a bit of the bib remaining, and his shirt and pants were now in jeopardy. Duke was still yelling commands at him, but had ceased to chase him, only turning in circles to face Joey as the blonde ran in an increasingly contracting circle around his friend. Kaiba stood to watch Joey's antics, ready to laugh out loud at his distress, when suddenly Joey was floored. Right as he was passing in front of Kaiba, he dropped below Kaiba's line of vision, and it took the brunette a moment to realize that the reason Joey was now sprawled headlong on the ground was because Yami Yugi, who, unnoticed to Kaiba or Duke, had finally caught up with them, had intentionally tripped him. Aforementioned game king had already pounced on Joey, briefly helping him to roll backwards and forwards on the lawn, until the last vestiges of flame were put out.
Breathing heavily, Joey lay on the lawn spread-eagled on his back with his eyes shut. Duke sat by Joey's left arm, folded up like a tense pocketknife, and obviously ready to ream Joey out for his stupidity, as soon as he could be assured his friend was not hurt. Yami stood and looked down on Joey with relief in his crimson gaze. Kaiba chuckled, making his presence known to the blonde, and Joey let out a long hiss of air from between his teeth before speaking, keeping his eyes closed.
"Kaiba, not a word, got it? Y'can't even call me a mutt this time, 'cuz I didn' listen to Devlin's half-brain doggie commands here. And Duke, I don' wanna hear it. I know you're pissed, you don' hafta tell me so."
"Wheeler, y'dunce!"
"I said, shove it, Devlin!" Joey's eyes snapped open and he rolled his head to the side to glare at Duke.
"Joey!" cried Yugi, as he came running up to the quartet, dragging Ryou and Tea by the hands, Mai and Tristan following behind.
Kaiba sighed inwardly. The whole gaggle of imbeciles, in one place. This was going to get annoying.
"Are you okay, buddy? I got set on fire, too, but we got it out a lot sooner than you did. Y'okay, there, Joe?" Tristan helped Joey sit up, and Mai crouched down to face him. Her purple eyes glittered in the afternoon light, and she had a smirk on her lips, despite being sincerely concerned for the blonde's health.
"Joseph, are you okay? I should've expected you to pull something like this, but."
"Gods, gerroff me!" Joey exclaimed, drawing himself up to his full height with help from Duke and Tristan. "I'm not dead, youse guys! Stop actin' like I gotta be taken care of 'r somethin!"
Seto laughed, a gleeful and somehow simultaneously mirthless sound. "Actually, Wheeler, I think you might need a little assistance where garments are concerned." Joey looked down, and his chocolate-brown eyes widened as he noticed that his orange plaid boxers were clearly visible through the hole in his pants. Téa and Mai, who, along with the rest of the group, had looked where Kaiba had gestured, squeaked and turned away, and Joey went red. Kaiba turned, satisfied, and sauntered away as Tristan pulled off his school jacket to cover Joey's waist.
"That rat." Téa growled, back still turned discreetly away.
Duke looked at Joey and smirked. "Well, I think he did you a favor, Wheeler. Think what would've happened if a certain someone had seen? Oh, wait, she di-"
Joey flushed a deeper shade of ruby, if that was possible, and hit Duke hard on the back of his head as Tristan giggled. Meanwhile, Marik and Bakura had sauntered up to the group, both looking pleased with themselves, but Bakura especially haughtily so.
Ryou turned to his yami. "What's up, aibou?"
"The school's up in flames, if that counts."
Marik added, in a wavering, thready voice which signaled extreme instability to the rest, added, "My mood's up, because the school's up!"
Eyes in every color of the spectrum swung around to stare at their school, and indeed, flames licked from the building into the blue sky; the steadily growing cloud of smoke it produced was turning the clear air foggy and dull.
"But why? Surely the fire department-"
Marik grew serious for a moment, his eyes narrowing to veritable slits. "Shut up, woman." Ryou flinched at this designation; the Egyptian continued, his eyes rounded and soft again. "Nope, nope, no firemen, no school, no school!" Marik sang the last four words, his unusual tone again causing the entire group to wince.
"Why not? Why wouldn't they come?" Tristan looked askance at Joey, and both stared back at Bakura, befuddled.
Seto had paused to listen, still turned away from the group, but with his ear tuned to their conversation.
"Did any of you hear the alarms go off? Anybody get caught under the sprinkler system?" Bakura's perfunctory tone laid plain that he knew the responses would be negative, and that the question was merely designed to make the rest of the group aware of the conclusion he'd already drawn.
"What are you getting at, Bakura?" Seto hissed, confident he'd drawn the same conclusion as the Ring spirit.
"The computer system crashed, disabling the digital sprinkler and alarm systems. It got short-circuited."
Kaiba turned around despite himself and caught Yami's bloodstained gaze with his own.
"Pharaoh, I think that gets you off the hook for crashing my program. You and your luck," Seto growled.
Yugi blinked widely at the tall brunette. "You're not more mad at us?"
As the rest of the group tried to figure out what exactly the three could be talking about, Seto allowed a faint wry smile to dance over his lips.
"You've just indirectly eliminated the biggest bane of my existence, save your own miserable selves. I was willing to do you a huge favor and call it even. Don't tempt me by asking for punishment again."
Yami laughed with his eyes, his most sincere smile. "Seto."
"Shut up, Pharaoh." Kaiba stalked away, clearly in a poor mood despite the school's demise.
Joey made faces at him as he walked away, and Téa just shook her head in confusion at the exchange. Yugi and Yami were busy talking through their mind-link, their faces glazed with the by-now well-known "listening" look, and so Duke and Mai, unable to sate their curiosity over what Kaiba and Yami had been referring to by asking the source, instead conferred guardedly with Bakura. Ryou and Marik watched the school burn, and Téa pensively moved next to Ryou to watch, too. Not obtaining the simple pleasure of watching the flames that both her companions gained, Téa stood and fretted.
"Now where do we go?"
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AN: As I said in the chapter AN, this is where it ends. I stopped here about a year ago and never got back to it. I look at it now and cringe at the style. Go read my newest effort, Teasing, if you really want to see more of Nightengale's scratches. And whether or not you liked this, hit that little button right below these words and tell me, please. I'm going to print out all my pages of reviews and take them to the Chuck E Cheese's. They take good report cards, right? But college students don't get report cards, so reviews are the next best thing. Finance my Chuck E Cheese's trip!! Review!!