-'Sad But True.'-
Pairings: a little angst for right now, something more substantial later.
A/N: This is the follow up to Enter Sandman. After Xander remembers more of the Sandman's dream he changes more and more, and the people around him begin to change. He has to accept what is happening, no matter the cost in life or love.
A/N 2: God knows you can't write more unless you get reviews.
Disclaimers: I don't own anything relating to Buffy, Angel, or Metallica.
Timeframe: S2 AU "Phases."
Dedicated to the ones you can't save, and to the ones you can.
///////////////////////////////////////////////
Xander leaned against the wall. There was another meeting after school, and everyone except for Oz filtered in.
Buffy started the meeting. "I can't believe I let that thing get away. Cain was right. I should have killed it when I had the chance."
Xander walked up to the table and sat next to Willow. "So what are we looking for?"
Giles walked out of the office with a large book in his hands. "The lycanthrope..." Xander raised his hand. Giles sighed, "...werewolf, is supposedly created when one lyc... werewolf mixes his blood with that of a normal human being, it is the same idea as vampirism, but they keep their souls and are killed and handled differently."
Willow deciphered for the rest of the group. "Okay so it's someone who was either scratched or attacked by a large dog."
Giles nodded. "Yes, also they are supposed to be more aggressive: sexually, physically and emotionally. And generally are mean to those perceived as weaker."
Buffy stood up. "Oh my god, Larry!"
Giles stammered, "W-who?"
Buffy explained. "He is a total idiot sexist mean jock head, and he was awfully gleeful about tormenting Theresa. They found her body in the woods."
"Still, that doesn't necessarily mean that..."
Xander got up to leave. "I'm gonna go talk to him. Gonna force a confession out of him."
Buffy stood up to counter him. "Nuh uh, I'm the slayer. _I_ go talk."
Xander smirked at her. "He's in the locker room, Football practice gets out about now."
Buffy's cheeks reddened as she sat back down. "That's a good idea, go talk to him Xander."
Giles looked up from his book. "Good. Go. Uh, in the meantime, we need to cover our bases. Willow, um, check the student files. See if anybody else fits the profile."
Xander walked up to the doors and saw Oz walk in. He couldn't help but feel himself snarl when Oz walked in. Oz looked at him peculiarly. "Sorry," Xander said, "got a frog in my throat."
Oz nodded and walked into the library. "What the hell was that all about?"
///////////////////////////
Xander ran down the hall to the boys' locker room. "What the hell was that all about?"
//////////////////////////
Xander stood waiting in the boys' locker room, waiting for football practice to end. He saw Larry come in and walked up behind him.
"Hey Larry."
Larry spun around and grabbed his chest. "Harris. Sheesh. Doesn't your keeper have you on a leash or something?"
Xander tried to keep a strait face. "Why so jumpy, Larry?"
Larry gave him a death glare while he opened his locker. "You'd be jumpy too if geeks and nerds were stalking you."
Xander raised an eyebrow. "Is that really it Larry, or is there something you're hiding?"
Larry leaned on his locker door. "I could hide my fist in your face, or better yet, my foot up your ass."
Xander stood up and looked Larry in the face. "I know your secret, big guy. I know what you've been doing at night."
Larry poked Xander in the chest. "You know, Harris, that tone of voice is going to get you beaten within an inch of your life one of these days..." He grabbed him by the collar, "like today for example. Today is a good day to die."
Xander grabbed his thumb with his left hand and twisted Larry's hand. "God Larry, be a drama queen why don't ya? Hurting me isn't gonna make this go away. People are still gonna find out. People can get hurt. Its all about how we handle this."
Larry let go and held his wrist. "Alright. What do you want? Hush money? Want me to make it easier for you with the 'in' crowd? Is that what you're after?"
Xander tried to reassure him. "I don't _want_ anything! I just want to help!"
Larry put his forehead on the locker. "What, you think you have a cure?"
Xander put his hand on his shoulder. "No, it's just... I know what you're going through because I've been there. It's hard and tough. You don't ever forget what you did. You don't forget what youre capable of, no matter how much or how hard you might want to. You have to be able to accept it as a part of yourself. That's why I know you should talk about it."
Larry held back a sob. "Yeah, that's easy for _you_ to say. I mean, you're practically nobody. I've got a reputation here."
Xander rubbed his shoulder. "Larry, please, before someone else gets hurt. I mean, last year, when it happened to me, the only reason I got through it was my friends. They understood. They helped me."
Larry turned and pointed at Xander's chest. "Look, if this gets out, it's over for me. I mean, forget about playing football. The looks I'll get. They'll run me outta this town. I mean, come on! How are people going to look at me..."
Xander put his hand back on Larry's shoulder. "Its okay Larry, just say it."
"...after they find out I'm gay."
Xander picked his hand up and looked at him in shock. Larry smiled. "Oh, wow. I said it. And it felt... okay. I'm gay." He approached Xander. "I am gay."
Xander took a step back. "Way to go, I heard you the first time."
Larry looks at the ceiling. "I can't believe it. It was almost easy. It feels like a heavy burden has just been lifted. God, I never felt I could tell anyone." He gestured to Xander. "And then you, you of all people, you bring it outta me."
Xander held up his hands. "Hey now, don't go involving me. It probably would have come out sooner or later."
Larry leaned on his locker door. "No, no, because knowing you went through the same thing, made it easier for me to admit it. Its easier if you know that someone else can handle it."
Xander's eyes widened. "The same thing..."
Larry put his arm around Xander. "It's ironic. I mean, all those times I beat the crap out of you, it musta been because I recognized something in you that I didn't want to believe about myself. I knew I hated myself for it, but you actually made me realize that I shouldn't hate it, I should accept it, just like you have."
Xander laughed nervously. "Hey now, Larry, listen, no, _noooo_, I am not..."
Larry nodded his head and patted Xander on the back. "Of course, of course not. Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me."
Larry whispered to himself. "I'm gay. Wow."
He smiled and gave Xander a hug and left.
Xander stood there looking at the locker door for a minute. "Well...shit."
//////////////////////////////////////////
Buffy saw Xander in the hallway looking pensive. "So how'd it go with Larry?"
Xander stood up and took a step back. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Buffy raised an eyebrow. "I think it's supposed to mean, how'd it go with Larry'?"
She stopped at her locker and reached for the combination lock.
Xander shook his head. "He's not the werewolf. Can't we just leave it at that? Can't you ever let anything be? Must you always just _push_ and _push_?"
Buffy opened her locker. "I'm sorry. I was just wondering."
Xander leaned against the next locker. "Well, he's not."
"Okay."
"Okay."
Buffy rolled her eyes. Xander leaned against the wall as she took off her backpack and put it in her locker. "But there goes our lead suspect, which then puts us right back at square boned."
Xander smiled and shook his head. "You're not boned, you're Buffy. Baker of brownies. Killer of bad things. Defender of, um... things that need defending."
Buffy looked at her shoes. "Tell that to Theresa. She could have used my defending before she was ripped apart by that werewolf."
They both stopped for a second and looked at each other.
Buffy spoke first. "Nowhere in any of the reports did it say anything about her being mauled. I mean, they were linked to the animal attacks from the other night, so we just assumed werewolf."
Xander nodded. "And we all know there is no end of things that just love to maul people in Sunnydale."
///////////////////////////////////////////////
Xander followed Buffy into the funeral home. They looked through the ceremonies and saw Theresa in her coffin with a scarf around her neck. Buffy pulled it back to see two puncture marks on the left side of her neck.
Xander cursed. "Dammit."
Buffy nodded. "Vampire."
Buffy walked over to the guest register and signed her name. "Instead of not protecting Theresa from the werewolf, I was able to not protect her from something just as bad."
Xander saw Buffy looking crestfallen "Buffy, you can't blame yourself for every death that happens in Sunnydale. You cant be everywhere all the time. If it weren't for you, people would be lined up five deep waiting to get killed. God, how many people have you saved since you got here? Even us, Willow would be a Robot's love slave, I would be killed about five times by my count, Giles would still be overly British," he turned and looked at the coffin, "and Theresa's a vampire."
Theresa sat up and growled. Buffy turned around in time to see Theresa hop out of the coffin. She grabbed the newly risen vamp and tried to wrestle her to the floor, but Theresa threw her down and lunged for her neck. Buffy rolled her over and kicked her away. She was about to strike again when Theresa spoke. "Angel sends his love."
Buffy froze. Theresa kicked Buffy's arm and sends the stick flying away. She grabbed Buffy by the shoulders, and wrestled her onto her back to pin her.
Xander ran over to a wooden easel holding a flower wreath and broke off a leg. He charged the vampire and knocked her over. She got back up in time for Xander to thrust the leg into her chest.
Xander dusted himself off and looked at Buffy. "You okay Buff?"
Buffy sat and looked at the floor. "Angel."
Xander tosses the easel aside and looks down at her. "Hey Buff, its okay. She's gone."
Buffy stared up at Xander. He tried to give her a reassuring smile, but Buffy just looked aside sadly and then rolled over.
Xander leaned down to her and extended his hand. "Hey, are you okay?
Buffy took his hand and started to get up. "This isn't happening." She pulled Xander into a soft hug and cried into his shoulder. "He's gonna keep coming after me."
Xander hugged her back gently. "Don't let him get to you. He's not the same guy you knew. I mean, hell, I didn't like the guy, but he wanted to protect you, I could respect that even if I didn't respect him."
She pulled back a bit and looks up at him. Xander looked into her light blue eyes and saw the sadness and hurt in the petite blonde's soul. He smiled a little and tightened the hug. "Its okay Buff, I wont let him hurt you."
She smiled back. "Come on Xan," she broke the hug to pick up her backpack, "we gotta run." She ran out the building hiding unshed tears.
Xander stood for a second, staring after her retreating figure. He sighed and mentally kicked himself. "No, my life's not too complicated. _Nooooo_, I just like to keep on falling for the same woman over and over again."
He walked out the door and jogged to catch up to her. "Stupid damn vampires. If its not taking over the world, it's fucking with my love life."
Pairings: a little angst for right now, something more substantial later.
A/N: This is the follow up to Enter Sandman. After Xander remembers more of the Sandman's dream he changes more and more, and the people around him begin to change. He has to accept what is happening, no matter the cost in life or love.
A/N 2: God knows you can't write more unless you get reviews.
Disclaimers: I don't own anything relating to Buffy, Angel, or Metallica.
Timeframe: S2 AU "Phases."
Dedicated to the ones you can't save, and to the ones you can.
///////////////////////////////////////////////
Xander leaned against the wall. There was another meeting after school, and everyone except for Oz filtered in.
Buffy started the meeting. "I can't believe I let that thing get away. Cain was right. I should have killed it when I had the chance."
Xander walked up to the table and sat next to Willow. "So what are we looking for?"
Giles walked out of the office with a large book in his hands. "The lycanthrope..." Xander raised his hand. Giles sighed, "...werewolf, is supposedly created when one lyc... werewolf mixes his blood with that of a normal human being, it is the same idea as vampirism, but they keep their souls and are killed and handled differently."
Willow deciphered for the rest of the group. "Okay so it's someone who was either scratched or attacked by a large dog."
Giles nodded. "Yes, also they are supposed to be more aggressive: sexually, physically and emotionally. And generally are mean to those perceived as weaker."
Buffy stood up. "Oh my god, Larry!"
Giles stammered, "W-who?"
Buffy explained. "He is a total idiot sexist mean jock head, and he was awfully gleeful about tormenting Theresa. They found her body in the woods."
"Still, that doesn't necessarily mean that..."
Xander got up to leave. "I'm gonna go talk to him. Gonna force a confession out of him."
Buffy stood up to counter him. "Nuh uh, I'm the slayer. _I_ go talk."
Xander smirked at her. "He's in the locker room, Football practice gets out about now."
Buffy's cheeks reddened as she sat back down. "That's a good idea, go talk to him Xander."
Giles looked up from his book. "Good. Go. Uh, in the meantime, we need to cover our bases. Willow, um, check the student files. See if anybody else fits the profile."
Xander walked up to the doors and saw Oz walk in. He couldn't help but feel himself snarl when Oz walked in. Oz looked at him peculiarly. "Sorry," Xander said, "got a frog in my throat."
Oz nodded and walked into the library. "What the hell was that all about?"
///////////////////////////
Xander ran down the hall to the boys' locker room. "What the hell was that all about?"
//////////////////////////
Xander stood waiting in the boys' locker room, waiting for football practice to end. He saw Larry come in and walked up behind him.
"Hey Larry."
Larry spun around and grabbed his chest. "Harris. Sheesh. Doesn't your keeper have you on a leash or something?"
Xander tried to keep a strait face. "Why so jumpy, Larry?"
Larry gave him a death glare while he opened his locker. "You'd be jumpy too if geeks and nerds were stalking you."
Xander raised an eyebrow. "Is that really it Larry, or is there something you're hiding?"
Larry leaned on his locker door. "I could hide my fist in your face, or better yet, my foot up your ass."
Xander stood up and looked Larry in the face. "I know your secret, big guy. I know what you've been doing at night."
Larry poked Xander in the chest. "You know, Harris, that tone of voice is going to get you beaten within an inch of your life one of these days..." He grabbed him by the collar, "like today for example. Today is a good day to die."
Xander grabbed his thumb with his left hand and twisted Larry's hand. "God Larry, be a drama queen why don't ya? Hurting me isn't gonna make this go away. People are still gonna find out. People can get hurt. Its all about how we handle this."
Larry let go and held his wrist. "Alright. What do you want? Hush money? Want me to make it easier for you with the 'in' crowd? Is that what you're after?"
Xander tried to reassure him. "I don't _want_ anything! I just want to help!"
Larry put his forehead on the locker. "What, you think you have a cure?"
Xander put his hand on his shoulder. "No, it's just... I know what you're going through because I've been there. It's hard and tough. You don't ever forget what you did. You don't forget what youre capable of, no matter how much or how hard you might want to. You have to be able to accept it as a part of yourself. That's why I know you should talk about it."
Larry held back a sob. "Yeah, that's easy for _you_ to say. I mean, you're practically nobody. I've got a reputation here."
Xander rubbed his shoulder. "Larry, please, before someone else gets hurt. I mean, last year, when it happened to me, the only reason I got through it was my friends. They understood. They helped me."
Larry turned and pointed at Xander's chest. "Look, if this gets out, it's over for me. I mean, forget about playing football. The looks I'll get. They'll run me outta this town. I mean, come on! How are people going to look at me..."
Xander put his hand back on Larry's shoulder. "Its okay Larry, just say it."
"...after they find out I'm gay."
Xander picked his hand up and looked at him in shock. Larry smiled. "Oh, wow. I said it. And it felt... okay. I'm gay." He approached Xander. "I am gay."
Xander took a step back. "Way to go, I heard you the first time."
Larry looks at the ceiling. "I can't believe it. It was almost easy. It feels like a heavy burden has just been lifted. God, I never felt I could tell anyone." He gestured to Xander. "And then you, you of all people, you bring it outta me."
Xander held up his hands. "Hey now, don't go involving me. It probably would have come out sooner or later."
Larry leaned on his locker door. "No, no, because knowing you went through the same thing, made it easier for me to admit it. Its easier if you know that someone else can handle it."
Xander's eyes widened. "The same thing..."
Larry put his arm around Xander. "It's ironic. I mean, all those times I beat the crap out of you, it musta been because I recognized something in you that I didn't want to believe about myself. I knew I hated myself for it, but you actually made me realize that I shouldn't hate it, I should accept it, just like you have."
Xander laughed nervously. "Hey now, Larry, listen, no, _noooo_, I am not..."
Larry nodded his head and patted Xander on the back. "Of course, of course not. Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me."
Larry whispered to himself. "I'm gay. Wow."
He smiled and gave Xander a hug and left.
Xander stood there looking at the locker door for a minute. "Well...shit."
//////////////////////////////////////////
Buffy saw Xander in the hallway looking pensive. "So how'd it go with Larry?"
Xander stood up and took a step back. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Buffy raised an eyebrow. "I think it's supposed to mean, how'd it go with Larry'?"
She stopped at her locker and reached for the combination lock.
Xander shook his head. "He's not the werewolf. Can't we just leave it at that? Can't you ever let anything be? Must you always just _push_ and _push_?"
Buffy opened her locker. "I'm sorry. I was just wondering."
Xander leaned against the next locker. "Well, he's not."
"Okay."
"Okay."
Buffy rolled her eyes. Xander leaned against the wall as she took off her backpack and put it in her locker. "But there goes our lead suspect, which then puts us right back at square boned."
Xander smiled and shook his head. "You're not boned, you're Buffy. Baker of brownies. Killer of bad things. Defender of, um... things that need defending."
Buffy looked at her shoes. "Tell that to Theresa. She could have used my defending before she was ripped apart by that werewolf."
They both stopped for a second and looked at each other.
Buffy spoke first. "Nowhere in any of the reports did it say anything about her being mauled. I mean, they were linked to the animal attacks from the other night, so we just assumed werewolf."
Xander nodded. "And we all know there is no end of things that just love to maul people in Sunnydale."
///////////////////////////////////////////////
Xander followed Buffy into the funeral home. They looked through the ceremonies and saw Theresa in her coffin with a scarf around her neck. Buffy pulled it back to see two puncture marks on the left side of her neck.
Xander cursed. "Dammit."
Buffy nodded. "Vampire."
Buffy walked over to the guest register and signed her name. "Instead of not protecting Theresa from the werewolf, I was able to not protect her from something just as bad."
Xander saw Buffy looking crestfallen "Buffy, you can't blame yourself for every death that happens in Sunnydale. You cant be everywhere all the time. If it weren't for you, people would be lined up five deep waiting to get killed. God, how many people have you saved since you got here? Even us, Willow would be a Robot's love slave, I would be killed about five times by my count, Giles would still be overly British," he turned and looked at the coffin, "and Theresa's a vampire."
Theresa sat up and growled. Buffy turned around in time to see Theresa hop out of the coffin. She grabbed the newly risen vamp and tried to wrestle her to the floor, but Theresa threw her down and lunged for her neck. Buffy rolled her over and kicked her away. She was about to strike again when Theresa spoke. "Angel sends his love."
Buffy froze. Theresa kicked Buffy's arm and sends the stick flying away. She grabbed Buffy by the shoulders, and wrestled her onto her back to pin her.
Xander ran over to a wooden easel holding a flower wreath and broke off a leg. He charged the vampire and knocked her over. She got back up in time for Xander to thrust the leg into her chest.
Xander dusted himself off and looked at Buffy. "You okay Buff?"
Buffy sat and looked at the floor. "Angel."
Xander tosses the easel aside and looks down at her. "Hey Buff, its okay. She's gone."
Buffy stared up at Xander. He tried to give her a reassuring smile, but Buffy just looked aside sadly and then rolled over.
Xander leaned down to her and extended his hand. "Hey, are you okay?
Buffy took his hand and started to get up. "This isn't happening." She pulled Xander into a soft hug and cried into his shoulder. "He's gonna keep coming after me."
Xander hugged her back gently. "Don't let him get to you. He's not the same guy you knew. I mean, hell, I didn't like the guy, but he wanted to protect you, I could respect that even if I didn't respect him."
She pulled back a bit and looks up at him. Xander looked into her light blue eyes and saw the sadness and hurt in the petite blonde's soul. He smiled a little and tightened the hug. "Its okay Buff, I wont let him hurt you."
She smiled back. "Come on Xan," she broke the hug to pick up her backpack, "we gotta run." She ran out the building hiding unshed tears.
Xander stood for a second, staring after her retreating figure. He sighed and mentally kicked himself. "No, my life's not too complicated. _Nooooo_, I just like to keep on falling for the same woman over and over again."
He walked out the door and jogged to catch up to her. "Stupid damn vampires. If its not taking over the world, it's fucking with my love life."