A/N: Okay, maybe I lied about the a scene or two thing. This is a looong
one, don't really know why. My endings might a be little abrupt, but
summer's just began and it's already fried my brain. Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: Do I really have to repeat myself? Fine, I don't own LoD or Disney and I don't take French.
Me: ACTION!!
Part Three: Beauty and the Beast
Cast: Sorceress = Meru; Belle = Rose; Beast = Kongol; Gaston = Lloyd; The little dude that follows Gaston around (Lifu??) = Dart; Lumiere = Lavitz; Mrs Potts = Miranda; Clocksworth = Albert; Maurice (Belle's father) = Haschel; special guest apperances by Shana and Zieg
(Prologue to the movie: There once was a selfish and vain prince who lived in a castle far far away [apparently, France]. One stormy night, and old woman knocked on the castle doors, asking for food and shelter for the night)
Meru: *hunched over wearing a black robe* Please, help a poor old woman *knock knock* .....HEY! I SAID OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!!!
Prince (whose identity will be reveiled later): What the hell...?? Oh, it's just an old woman
Meru: Please won't you help me...
Prince: No, you're too ugly for me to help. Go away.
Meru: WHAT?! Did you just call me UGLY?!
(And the old woman transforms into her true, plantinum-haired, skanty-clad self)
Meru: AHA! Who's ugly now?! Unless you apologize and say that I'm too sexy to ignore, then I won't hex you terribly
Prince: But you're just a kid...
Meru: That's it!! *Transforms the prince into a beast and then hands him an enchanted rose* I now place a curse and you and your entire castle and you will remain like this forever unless you can get a woman to fall in love with you before all the petals fall!! MUWHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *Exits*
Kongol: ARGH!!!
(First scene: Rose is walking around her town, while the townspeople gossip about her)
Townspeople: *in a huge song-and-dance number* There she goes that girl is so peculiar! I wonder if she's feeling well! She's a funny girl that Belle!
Rose: WHAT?! YOU WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE?! *Draws sword*
Me: Okay, who gave Rose her sword?!
???: *runs and hides in the shadows* hehe
Me: Rose, gimme the sword
Rose: NO! *Stab*
Me: *standing with a sword thru the middle of my stomach* Okay, Rose you're going on The List now...do you know how hard it is to get blood stains out of clothes?!
Rose: Yeah, it really is a drag...
Dart: HAHA! Where's YOUR immunity, huh?!
Me: I'm trying to be a good sport here...and you notice that I'm not dead.
Dart: Oh.
Me: *writes on a sheet of paper* Well, at least I got Rose's sword now *pulls sword out of stomach*
Rose: Dammit.
Me: Now go back to the story! *Glares at Lloyd* That's your cue
Lloyd: Oh yeah.... Hey, shouldn't I have girls fawning over me?!
Me: Oh yeah.....ummm....SHANA!
Shana: What?
Me: Fawn over Lloyd
Shana: *pouts* Fine....oh, Lloyd, you are so sexy I don't know what to do with myself *swoons*
Lloyd: That was a lame swoon
Dart: That's because she's only supposed to fawn over ME!!
Me: Get over it. And, Lloyd, get back to wooing Rose
Lloyd: Fine then...*ahem* Hello, Rose. I am the sexy, arrogant Lloyd. Look at my big muscles *flexes muscles* Don't you wanna marry me now?
Rose: *raised eyebrow* What I wouldn't kill for my sword right now....
Lloyd: Dart, tell her more amazing things about me and why she should marry me
Dart: *growls* Tina, you are a dead woman....
Me: Say it Dart! Why should Rose marry Lloyd?
Dart: *monotone* Because he is the greatest hunter in the whole world.
Lloyd: Say it like you mean it
Dart: HE'S THE GREATEST *&^%ING HUNTER IN THE WHOLE *&^%ING WORLD!!
Miranda: HEY I'm the only one allowed to say the word *&^%ing all the $%$#ing time!!
Me: HEY!! Disney movies are rated G dammit! And plus, you're not in the movie yet. Go change into your costume
Miranda: *&^$#$%&*((&^%$##%^ *leaves*
Me: Where were we....oh, yeah, we're inflating Lloyd's ego.
Lloyd: Hell ya
Me: Watch your *&^%ing mouth
Rose: Okay, I'm over this now. And no, Lloyd I will not marry you *leaves*
Lloyd: Oh yes you will....
(Next scene: Rose goes to Kongol's castle to save Haschel, who has been taken prisoner by Kongol)
Rose: Hello? Haschel? Someone better be here to wait on me....
Lavitz: Why do I have to be cast as the horny candlestick? *Featherduster walks by* Ooh, la la...
Albert: I demand my dignity back! I mean, c'mon I'm a TALKING CLOCK!
Me: You could always say no
Albert: Then, I refuse to partake in this heinous butchering of Disney classics...and my own pride!
Me: Are you sure? *Prepares lightening bolts*
Albert: Um....I withdraw my statement
Me: Thats what I thought.
Lavitz: Okay, here comes Rose....bonjour madmoiselle! Welcome to the Beast's castle!
Albert: But, Lavitz! Kongol doesn't want any visitors....
Lavitz: Screw Kongol, he can find a date on his own...
Rose: Back away from my leg, you little piece of insignifcant wax or else I shall retrieve my sword...
Me: OH NO YOU WONT!
Lavitz: That hurts, Rose. Really, it does
Kongol: ARGH!!
Rose: Kongol, you don't scare me. You never have, and never will.
Lavitz: She scares me more than Kongol does
Kongol: Me the Beast, Rose the Beauty-
Rose: You got THAT right
Kongol: Rose must be afraid of Kongol!!! ARGH!!!
Rose: Okay, I'll pretend to be scared then you can let Haschel go, then show me around the castle and then forbid me to go into the west wing-
Albert: I love that show
Rose: *ignore* But I'll go in there anyway and I'll find the enchanted rose-
Lavitz: Whoa.....HER name is Rose and HE has an enchanted rose!! It was meant to be!
Rose: Don't make me get my sword
Me: Not if you can get passed me first!!
Albert: Plus you said something to the same effect in the last chapter
Rose: ANYWAY...you'll get all pissed off that I found the FLOWER and then you'll drive me away from the castle and you'll chase after me and then I'll come back and then we'll bond and fall in love. The end, I GO HOME!
Readers: Geez, just GIVE away the ending, will ya?!
Me: You can't get off THAT easily!
Haschel: I can still leave now, right?
Me: Yeah go ahead, but don't go off set!
Haschel: Dammit *leaves and converses with Dart at the catering table*
Lloyd: I'm confused, is that my cue?
Lavitz: What, no big song and dance numbers?
Me: I would think you wouldn't want the big song and dance number, since YOU headline them.
Lavitz: *singing and dancing* BE OUR GUEST, BE OUR GUEST, PUT US TO THE TEST!!!!!
Rose: I can't take this anymore *stabs Lavitz*
Lavitz: x_x
Me: Okay, I hereby order that whoever gives Rose back her sword must be shot IMMEDIATELY!
*Gun shot*
Dart: x_x
Me: Well, that solves the mystery
Albert: Rose, you'd better run I think the Lavitz glompers are about ready to kill -- and the Dart glompers too, for shooting him
Rose: I didn't shoot Dart! And does Dart even have glompers?
Lavitz and Dart Glompers: grrr.....
Albert: He does now
Me: NO! Please, I think I can only handle so many glompers per fic *revives Lavitz and Dart*
Lloyd: Now why did ya hafta revive HIM?
Dart: Watch it, Wingly
Rose: Have I mentioned that I WANNA GO HOME?! Let's get on with it already!
Me: Okay, okay, but I must have some sort of fun-BALLROOM SCENE!!
(Next scene: Kongol and Rose ballroom dance while Miranda sings)
Miranda: I see. When you say "fun" you mean "torture"
Me: yup yup
Rose: Omg...Miranda said a full sentence without the word *&^%
All: *gasp*
Miranda: )*%# you all
Me: See, Rose you jinxed it....go put on your dress before I use your sword against you
Rose: But I feel naked without my sword...
Me: Too bad. Kongol! Rose! Your cue!
(Enter Kongol in a tux and Rose in a dress)
All offstage: *hardly breathing because they are laughing so hard*
Rose: Shut. Up. Now.
Kongol: Kongol feel strange...
Me: *in between laughs* Just...start....dancing....and Miranda....start...singing....
Miranda: *curses under her breath* TALE AS OLD AS TIIIIIMMMME!!!!
*Glass shatters and dogs howl*
All: *cover their ears in pain* STOP!! FOR THE LOVE OF SOA STOP!!!!!!
Me: Alright that was a disaster...let's move on...
(Next scene: Haschel returns to his "hometown" [no, not Rouge] to tell the townspeople about the beast known as Kongol)
Haschel: He's really big and he wears lion skin and he wields an axe
Townspeople: Ya he's crazy
Haschel: *to Lloyd, Dart, and Shana* Don't act like you don't know who I'm talking about!
Lloyd: That's just it -- we have to act like we don't know who you're talking about.
Haschel: Well, I'm telling you the truth and he's got my "daughter" -- *sniff sniff* CLAIRE!!!!! *Crys*
All: *blink blink*
(And Haschel has another flashback of Claire in Rouge!!)
Lloyd: Ok, that confirms it -- lock him in the loony bin
Haschel: *gets locked in the loony bin* You will pay for this....Claire, why do you hate me?! *crys*
(Kongol lets Rose leave the castle and she finds out that Haschel has been locked in the loony bin)
Rose: oh, no what shall I do?
Me: Stop being sarcastic.
Rose: Haschel's telling the truth, look! *Shows the people a magic mirror with Kongol in the reflection*
Dart: Whooaa...where'd ya get that?
Lloyd: Stop being stupid Dart-
Dart: It's not me it's the translation
Lloyd: This means we hafta go kill the beast!!
Rose: Crap, that's not supposed to happen
Lloyd: Lock her in the loony bin too
Rose: *is locked in the loony bin* Someone PLEASE get me my sword!
Dart: Hell no, I'm not getting shot again!
Albert: Tina, there are more sophisticated ways of portraying a psychatric ward than "loony bin"
Me: Maybe I LIKE the phrase "loony bin"
*Lloyd and the townspeople leave*
Rose: You got any ideas Haschel?
Haschel: gwaaaaah....DOUBLE PUNCH!!!
*Door is knocked down*
Rose: That was ... too easy...
Me: What did you expect? This is a parody of Disney, remember?
Rose: Right. Now, let's go save *twitch* Kongol...
(Next scene: Lloyd and the townspeople storm Kongol's castle)
Lavitz: OMG!! Okay, Albert you hold them off and I'll go warn the others...
Albert: Wait a minute...I'M the king and YOU'RE the knight. I'M the one who should be giving orders and YOU should be the one holding them off!
Lavitz: Yes, but I'm a candlestick and you're a clock and candlesticks are MUCH cooler than clocks
Albert: Why you little --
Miranda: Will you two stop &^%$ing around and $#@!ing do something!!!
Me: What have I told you about the MPAA rating?
Miranda: How it's &^%$ing stupid?!
Me: Well, yes, but...
Lavitz: Guys, they're getting closer....maybe we should give Rose her sword back
Rose: Hells yes
Me: NO!! I think you'd rather have the angry mob storm your castle rather than face HER wrath
Rose: Damn skippy
Miranda: Ok, Kongol it's time for you to get off your *&^%ing ass and ^$(*ing do something!!!
Lavitz: Don't you have anything nice to say?!
Miranda: &^%$ no
Kongol: ARGH!! Kongol ready to fight!!
Lloyd: THAT'S my cue, right?
Me: Right
Kongol: Me kill you once, me do it again
Lloyd: Bring it on, bitch
Me: I give up. I officially make this PG-13!
(And they have their epic battle -- man vs. beast -- on the top most balcony in the middle of a thunder storm.)
Girls: Psh. Men.
Rose: *bursting through the double doors* Oh no! Lloyd, don't kill Kongol!
Me: That almost sounded sincere
Lloyd: DON'T kill him? Alright then
Me: You're the bad guy!! You don't have to listen to her!!
Lloyd: Oh, well in that case -- *stabs Kongol*
Kongol: ARGH!!!
Miranda: Is that all you can *&^%ing say?!
Me: Quiet!
Kongol: *pushes Lloyd off the balcony*
Lloyd: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh *fades away*
Me: Where's my mattress?! DOEL!! GUARAHA!!!
Doel and Guaraha: *drinking coffee* What?
Me: Do what I pay you to do!!
Doel and Guaraha: Right *positions the mattress, slightly to the left of where Lloyd actually lands*
Lloyd: @_@ *stagers up* I'm good...really I am...ooh, pretty birdies...
Guaraha: Nice touch
Me: Thanks -- but to the movie!!
Kongol: Me...dying....Rose....
Rose: No Kongol, you can't die...I *twitch* love *twitch* you...
(Final petal from the rose falls...is this the end of Kongol?!?!)
Meru: ^_^ The prince found true love!! Okay, you can be human now!!
(Lavitz is no longer a candlestick, Albert is no longer a clock, and Miranda is no longer a tea pot. And Kongol is now -- Zieg?!)
Zieg: Whoa, that was a new experience
Rose: O_O Zieg?! OH THANK GOD!! *Topples him in the heat of the moment*
All: WHOA!!! SAVE IT FOR THE BEDROOM!!!
~ ~ ~
Me: That actually teaches you a very important lesson....
Dart: and what's that?
Me: That personality should always be choosen over looks when choosing a mate...erm, maybe I should take my own advice
Wesley: Aw, but I thought we had something special
Me: Lose the smirk -- besides, you're not even in the right fic!! Go back to Legend of Us!
Wesley: Grr...*leaves and goes back to my other fic*
Haschel: That was odd...
Me: Oh like you aren't
~ ~THE END~ ~
Disclaimer: Do I really have to repeat myself? Fine, I don't own LoD or Disney and I don't take French.
Me: ACTION!!
Part Three: Beauty and the Beast
Cast: Sorceress = Meru; Belle = Rose; Beast = Kongol; Gaston = Lloyd; The little dude that follows Gaston around (Lifu??) = Dart; Lumiere = Lavitz; Mrs Potts = Miranda; Clocksworth = Albert; Maurice (Belle's father) = Haschel; special guest apperances by Shana and Zieg
(Prologue to the movie: There once was a selfish and vain prince who lived in a castle far far away [apparently, France]. One stormy night, and old woman knocked on the castle doors, asking for food and shelter for the night)
Meru: *hunched over wearing a black robe* Please, help a poor old woman *knock knock* .....HEY! I SAID OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!!!
Prince (whose identity will be reveiled later): What the hell...?? Oh, it's just an old woman
Meru: Please won't you help me...
Prince: No, you're too ugly for me to help. Go away.
Meru: WHAT?! Did you just call me UGLY?!
(And the old woman transforms into her true, plantinum-haired, skanty-clad self)
Meru: AHA! Who's ugly now?! Unless you apologize and say that I'm too sexy to ignore, then I won't hex you terribly
Prince: But you're just a kid...
Meru: That's it!! *Transforms the prince into a beast and then hands him an enchanted rose* I now place a curse and you and your entire castle and you will remain like this forever unless you can get a woman to fall in love with you before all the petals fall!! MUWHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *Exits*
Kongol: ARGH!!!
(First scene: Rose is walking around her town, while the townspeople gossip about her)
Townspeople: *in a huge song-and-dance number* There she goes that girl is so peculiar! I wonder if she's feeling well! She's a funny girl that Belle!
Rose: WHAT?! YOU WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE?! *Draws sword*
Me: Okay, who gave Rose her sword?!
???: *runs and hides in the shadows* hehe
Me: Rose, gimme the sword
Rose: NO! *Stab*
Me: *standing with a sword thru the middle of my stomach* Okay, Rose you're going on The List now...do you know how hard it is to get blood stains out of clothes?!
Rose: Yeah, it really is a drag...
Dart: HAHA! Where's YOUR immunity, huh?!
Me: I'm trying to be a good sport here...and you notice that I'm not dead.
Dart: Oh.
Me: *writes on a sheet of paper* Well, at least I got Rose's sword now *pulls sword out of stomach*
Rose: Dammit.
Me: Now go back to the story! *Glares at Lloyd* That's your cue
Lloyd: Oh yeah.... Hey, shouldn't I have girls fawning over me?!
Me: Oh yeah.....ummm....SHANA!
Shana: What?
Me: Fawn over Lloyd
Shana: *pouts* Fine....oh, Lloyd, you are so sexy I don't know what to do with myself *swoons*
Lloyd: That was a lame swoon
Dart: That's because she's only supposed to fawn over ME!!
Me: Get over it. And, Lloyd, get back to wooing Rose
Lloyd: Fine then...*ahem* Hello, Rose. I am the sexy, arrogant Lloyd. Look at my big muscles *flexes muscles* Don't you wanna marry me now?
Rose: *raised eyebrow* What I wouldn't kill for my sword right now....
Lloyd: Dart, tell her more amazing things about me and why she should marry me
Dart: *growls* Tina, you are a dead woman....
Me: Say it Dart! Why should Rose marry Lloyd?
Dart: *monotone* Because he is the greatest hunter in the whole world.
Lloyd: Say it like you mean it
Dart: HE'S THE GREATEST *&^%ING HUNTER IN THE WHOLE *&^%ING WORLD!!
Miranda: HEY I'm the only one allowed to say the word *&^%ing all the $%$#ing time!!
Me: HEY!! Disney movies are rated G dammit! And plus, you're not in the movie yet. Go change into your costume
Miranda: *&^$#$%&*((&^%$##%^ *leaves*
Me: Where were we....oh, yeah, we're inflating Lloyd's ego.
Lloyd: Hell ya
Me: Watch your *&^%ing mouth
Rose: Okay, I'm over this now. And no, Lloyd I will not marry you *leaves*
Lloyd: Oh yes you will....
(Next scene: Rose goes to Kongol's castle to save Haschel, who has been taken prisoner by Kongol)
Rose: Hello? Haschel? Someone better be here to wait on me....
Lavitz: Why do I have to be cast as the horny candlestick? *Featherduster walks by* Ooh, la la...
Albert: I demand my dignity back! I mean, c'mon I'm a TALKING CLOCK!
Me: You could always say no
Albert: Then, I refuse to partake in this heinous butchering of Disney classics...and my own pride!
Me: Are you sure? *Prepares lightening bolts*
Albert: Um....I withdraw my statement
Me: Thats what I thought.
Lavitz: Okay, here comes Rose....bonjour madmoiselle! Welcome to the Beast's castle!
Albert: But, Lavitz! Kongol doesn't want any visitors....
Lavitz: Screw Kongol, he can find a date on his own...
Rose: Back away from my leg, you little piece of insignifcant wax or else I shall retrieve my sword...
Me: OH NO YOU WONT!
Lavitz: That hurts, Rose. Really, it does
Kongol: ARGH!!
Rose: Kongol, you don't scare me. You never have, and never will.
Lavitz: She scares me more than Kongol does
Kongol: Me the Beast, Rose the Beauty-
Rose: You got THAT right
Kongol: Rose must be afraid of Kongol!!! ARGH!!!
Rose: Okay, I'll pretend to be scared then you can let Haschel go, then show me around the castle and then forbid me to go into the west wing-
Albert: I love that show
Rose: *ignore* But I'll go in there anyway and I'll find the enchanted rose-
Lavitz: Whoa.....HER name is Rose and HE has an enchanted rose!! It was meant to be!
Rose: Don't make me get my sword
Me: Not if you can get passed me first!!
Albert: Plus you said something to the same effect in the last chapter
Rose: ANYWAY...you'll get all pissed off that I found the FLOWER and then you'll drive me away from the castle and you'll chase after me and then I'll come back and then we'll bond and fall in love. The end, I GO HOME!
Readers: Geez, just GIVE away the ending, will ya?!
Me: You can't get off THAT easily!
Haschel: I can still leave now, right?
Me: Yeah go ahead, but don't go off set!
Haschel: Dammit *leaves and converses with Dart at the catering table*
Lloyd: I'm confused, is that my cue?
Lavitz: What, no big song and dance numbers?
Me: I would think you wouldn't want the big song and dance number, since YOU headline them.
Lavitz: *singing and dancing* BE OUR GUEST, BE OUR GUEST, PUT US TO THE TEST!!!!!
Rose: I can't take this anymore *stabs Lavitz*
Lavitz: x_x
Me: Okay, I hereby order that whoever gives Rose back her sword must be shot IMMEDIATELY!
*Gun shot*
Dart: x_x
Me: Well, that solves the mystery
Albert: Rose, you'd better run I think the Lavitz glompers are about ready to kill -- and the Dart glompers too, for shooting him
Rose: I didn't shoot Dart! And does Dart even have glompers?
Lavitz and Dart Glompers: grrr.....
Albert: He does now
Me: NO! Please, I think I can only handle so many glompers per fic *revives Lavitz and Dart*
Lloyd: Now why did ya hafta revive HIM?
Dart: Watch it, Wingly
Rose: Have I mentioned that I WANNA GO HOME?! Let's get on with it already!
Me: Okay, okay, but I must have some sort of fun-BALLROOM SCENE!!
(Next scene: Kongol and Rose ballroom dance while Miranda sings)
Miranda: I see. When you say "fun" you mean "torture"
Me: yup yup
Rose: Omg...Miranda said a full sentence without the word *&^%
All: *gasp*
Miranda: )*%# you all
Me: See, Rose you jinxed it....go put on your dress before I use your sword against you
Rose: But I feel naked without my sword...
Me: Too bad. Kongol! Rose! Your cue!
(Enter Kongol in a tux and Rose in a dress)
All offstage: *hardly breathing because they are laughing so hard*
Rose: Shut. Up. Now.
Kongol: Kongol feel strange...
Me: *in between laughs* Just...start....dancing....and Miranda....start...singing....
Miranda: *curses under her breath* TALE AS OLD AS TIIIIIMMMME!!!!
*Glass shatters and dogs howl*
All: *cover their ears in pain* STOP!! FOR THE LOVE OF SOA STOP!!!!!!
Me: Alright that was a disaster...let's move on...
(Next scene: Haschel returns to his "hometown" [no, not Rouge] to tell the townspeople about the beast known as Kongol)
Haschel: He's really big and he wears lion skin and he wields an axe
Townspeople: Ya he's crazy
Haschel: *to Lloyd, Dart, and Shana* Don't act like you don't know who I'm talking about!
Lloyd: That's just it -- we have to act like we don't know who you're talking about.
Haschel: Well, I'm telling you the truth and he's got my "daughter" -- *sniff sniff* CLAIRE!!!!! *Crys*
All: *blink blink*
(And Haschel has another flashback of Claire in Rouge!!)
Lloyd: Ok, that confirms it -- lock him in the loony bin
Haschel: *gets locked in the loony bin* You will pay for this....Claire, why do you hate me?! *crys*
(Kongol lets Rose leave the castle and she finds out that Haschel has been locked in the loony bin)
Rose: oh, no what shall I do?
Me: Stop being sarcastic.
Rose: Haschel's telling the truth, look! *Shows the people a magic mirror with Kongol in the reflection*
Dart: Whooaa...where'd ya get that?
Lloyd: Stop being stupid Dart-
Dart: It's not me it's the translation
Lloyd: This means we hafta go kill the beast!!
Rose: Crap, that's not supposed to happen
Lloyd: Lock her in the loony bin too
Rose: *is locked in the loony bin* Someone PLEASE get me my sword!
Dart: Hell no, I'm not getting shot again!
Albert: Tina, there are more sophisticated ways of portraying a psychatric ward than "loony bin"
Me: Maybe I LIKE the phrase "loony bin"
*Lloyd and the townspeople leave*
Rose: You got any ideas Haschel?
Haschel: gwaaaaah....DOUBLE PUNCH!!!
*Door is knocked down*
Rose: That was ... too easy...
Me: What did you expect? This is a parody of Disney, remember?
Rose: Right. Now, let's go save *twitch* Kongol...
(Next scene: Lloyd and the townspeople storm Kongol's castle)
Lavitz: OMG!! Okay, Albert you hold them off and I'll go warn the others...
Albert: Wait a minute...I'M the king and YOU'RE the knight. I'M the one who should be giving orders and YOU should be the one holding them off!
Lavitz: Yes, but I'm a candlestick and you're a clock and candlesticks are MUCH cooler than clocks
Albert: Why you little --
Miranda: Will you two stop &^%$ing around and $#@!ing do something!!!
Me: What have I told you about the MPAA rating?
Miranda: How it's &^%$ing stupid?!
Me: Well, yes, but...
Lavitz: Guys, they're getting closer....maybe we should give Rose her sword back
Rose: Hells yes
Me: NO!! I think you'd rather have the angry mob storm your castle rather than face HER wrath
Rose: Damn skippy
Miranda: Ok, Kongol it's time for you to get off your *&^%ing ass and ^$(*ing do something!!!
Lavitz: Don't you have anything nice to say?!
Miranda: &^%$ no
Kongol: ARGH!! Kongol ready to fight!!
Lloyd: THAT'S my cue, right?
Me: Right
Kongol: Me kill you once, me do it again
Lloyd: Bring it on, bitch
Me: I give up. I officially make this PG-13!
(And they have their epic battle -- man vs. beast -- on the top most balcony in the middle of a thunder storm.)
Girls: Psh. Men.
Rose: *bursting through the double doors* Oh no! Lloyd, don't kill Kongol!
Me: That almost sounded sincere
Lloyd: DON'T kill him? Alright then
Me: You're the bad guy!! You don't have to listen to her!!
Lloyd: Oh, well in that case -- *stabs Kongol*
Kongol: ARGH!!!
Miranda: Is that all you can *&^%ing say?!
Me: Quiet!
Kongol: *pushes Lloyd off the balcony*
Lloyd: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh *fades away*
Me: Where's my mattress?! DOEL!! GUARAHA!!!
Doel and Guaraha: *drinking coffee* What?
Me: Do what I pay you to do!!
Doel and Guaraha: Right *positions the mattress, slightly to the left of where Lloyd actually lands*
Lloyd: @_@ *stagers up* I'm good...really I am...ooh, pretty birdies...
Guaraha: Nice touch
Me: Thanks -- but to the movie!!
Kongol: Me...dying....Rose....
Rose: No Kongol, you can't die...I *twitch* love *twitch* you...
(Final petal from the rose falls...is this the end of Kongol?!?!)
Meru: ^_^ The prince found true love!! Okay, you can be human now!!
(Lavitz is no longer a candlestick, Albert is no longer a clock, and Miranda is no longer a tea pot. And Kongol is now -- Zieg?!)
Zieg: Whoa, that was a new experience
Rose: O_O Zieg?! OH THANK GOD!! *Topples him in the heat of the moment*
All: WHOA!!! SAVE IT FOR THE BEDROOM!!!
~ ~ ~
Me: That actually teaches you a very important lesson....
Dart: and what's that?
Me: That personality should always be choosen over looks when choosing a mate...erm, maybe I should take my own advice
Wesley: Aw, but I thought we had something special
Me: Lose the smirk -- besides, you're not even in the right fic!! Go back to Legend of Us!
Wesley: Grr...*leaves and goes back to my other fic*
Haschel: That was odd...
Me: Oh like you aren't
~ ~THE END~ ~