A/N: The premise of this movie is just too good to pass up. But yeah, I
think this might be the last one for now....unless I get more inspiration
or reviews. If you want more, review saying I WANT MORE! And give me a new
movie to make fun of. If you don't want more, ::politely:: say PLEASE NO
MORE and I will respect your wishes. Just be nice about it..
Disclaimer: I don't own LoD or Disney, and I don't know the story of Alice in Wonderland very well and I'M NOT ON DRUGS
Part Four: Alice in Wonderland
Cast: Alice = Shana; Mad Hatter = Meru; Unbirthday Guests = Guaraha, Wink; White Rabbit = Miranda; Tweedle Dee = Lloyd; Tweedle Dum = Dart; Queen of Hearts = Rose; King of Hearts = Zieg; Cheshire Cat = Haschel; Cards = Lavitz, Kongol, Albert, Doel
Wohoo, I think I used everybody!
Cast: YES! WE CAN LEGALLY SMOKE DRUGS NOW!!
Me: Just because the rating is G, doesn't mean that the people at Disney don't sneak in adult themes to emotionally scar me for life
Dart: You still aren't over that Bambi incident yet?!
Me: NO! *Sniffle* Why did he have to shoot his mother?! WHY GOD WHY?! *Runs and crys*
Rose: Sweet, I get to be the director now!
Dart: No you don't, I'm the hero of the video game! I get to be the director!!
Rose: But you play Tweedle Dum....I play the Queen of Hearts so I'M the director!
Dart: I'm not dumb, it's all the translation!
All: You keep telling yourself that....
Me: NO ONE'S GUNNA BE THE DIRECTOR CEPT ME! I'm over it, go take your places!
(First scene: Shana/Alice falls asleep and meets the White Rabbit)
Miranda: Shana....choose the blue pill, or the red pill....
Me: This is a parody of Alice and Wonderland -- not the Matrix. And will you PLEASE put on the rabbit suit?!
Miranda: ^$#% no.
Me: Do it or...*cocks shotgun*
Miranda: *grumble* Fine.
Me: Okay, now ACTION!
Miranda: *&^% I'M &^%$ING LATE!!!!
Shana: How curious, a white rabbit with a foul mouth....wait a minute, Rabbit where are you going?!
Miranda: None of your #@!%ing business *jumps down the rabbit hole*
Shana: How rude! I'm following you anyways....*jumps down the rabbit hole*
(And Shana ends up in Wonderland. And now she's lost)
Shana: I think I need a new PR campaign...I hate getting stuck with airhead roles
Me: Okay, Shana....you'll be cast as the strong, intelligent female warrior as soon as Claire says she loves Haschel
Haschel: CLAIRE!!! *Crys*
(And you guessed it, he has another flashback)
Shana: Thats just plain mean.
Me: Thats just how I am
Shana: Oh well....oh look, a mushroom! And it says "eat me" Hm....okay *eats the shroom*
All: SHANA NO!
Shana: Ooohh....preeeeetty colors.....I -- I feel funny I -- *grows twenty feet taller* WHOA!
Kongol: Small one bigger than me
Shana: *scans her surroundings* Oh, look! I think I see Meru! Maybe she can help me find the White Rabbit...oh, but first I think I need to get smaller....
Me: Eat the shroom again
Shana: Gladly! *Takes a big bite*
Me: Oh god, what have I done?
Shana: *shrinks to about 2 inches* That wasnt supposed to happen, correct?
Me: Well, when you abuse the shrooms....ugh, here *uses all-powerful fanfiction magic to restore her to her normal height*
Shana: Thanks. Now I have to remember how to get over to Meru....
(Next scene: Shana finds Meru wearing a ridiculous hat, as well as Guaraha and Wink drinking "tea")
Meru: *singing* Aaaaaah......VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!
Guaraha: Must I say it again?
Meru: YES!
Wink: Can I go home now? All I wanted was a cup of sugar.
Meru: NO!! Now SING!!
Guaraha and Wink: ....to me?
Meru: TO YOU!! A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO ME!
Shana: Excuse me, have any of you seen a White Rabbit?
Guaraha: No, but if you find my fiance's dignity, I would much appreciate it if you give it back to her
Shana: What do you mean? Meru has never had any shame....
Guaraha: I was afraid of that
Meru: HI SHANA!! Guess what?
Shana: What?
Meru: IT'S MY UNBIRTHDAY!!!!!!
Shana: What's that?
Meru: Well, if you have a birthday once a year then your unbirthday is the other 364 days of the year!
Shana: Really? Then it's MY unbirthday too!
Meru: *gasp* You know what this means.....
Guaraha: Please, no more singing...
Meru: A VERRY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!
Wink: Shana, don't do it --
Shana: To me?
Wink: I warned you
Meru: TO YOU!!!!!! *Brings out a huge cake*
Guaraha: I'll just go back to my...*cough* tea....
Wink: Don't say I didn't warn you....
Meru: Make a wish Shana! Makeonemakeonemakeone!!!!
Shana: mmm....okay, I got it! *Closes eyes and blows out candles*
Guaraha and Wink: She's gunna blow!! *ducks*
Cake: *KABOOM*
(Now Meru and Shana are covered in cake...Shana looked P.Oed but Meru looks ecstatic. Guaraha and Wink just look annoyed)
Meru: That was fuuuuuunnn!!!!! Let's do it again!
Guaraha, Wink, and Shana: NO!
Guaraha: Here, Shana....we like to celebrate unbirthdays with "special" brownies...
Shana: What's so special about them?
Wink: The special ingredient is....uh, "love"
Guaraha: A whole big bag of love....hehe....[That 70s Show is one of the tightest shows ever]
(Next scene: Shana leaves the unbirthday party with Guaraha's "special" brownies sitting uneasily in her stomach)
Shana: *groan* Whoa there....oy my head...
(Stumbling along the path, she runs into Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum)
Dart: I'm. Not. Dumb.
Lloyd: *twirls little flyer thing that's on top of his beanie* Weeeee!! I can fly!!!
Shana: You had the shrooms, didn't you?
Lloyd: Maybe, just one cap...hehehe
Me: I knew this was a bad idea...
Shana: Oh, yeah could you two help me with....uh....
Me: *pst* Finding the White Rabbit
Shana: Oh yaaaa.....the White Rabbit
Lloyd: oooo..shroom...
Dart: Stop that! *Smack*
Lloyd: Ow!
Dart: Who's dumb NOW?!
Shana: Hello? White Rabbit?
Dart and Lloyd: She went that way *points in opposite directions*
Shana: You two are a big help...
Dart: Thanks, baby :-D
(Without any help from Dumb and Dumber -- )
Dart: IT'S THE TRANSLATION!!
Me: It's okay, Dart. Really, it is.
Dart: Hmph. At least Striker believes me.
Lloyd: Am I dumb, or am I dumber?
Me: If you really hafta ask....
(Shana continued on her quest to find the White Rabbit, and more drugs. Instead, she finds Haschel in a pink cat costume. But he doesn't seem to be too bothered with that)
Shana: Haschel....?
Haschel: You know, if I cross my eyes, I can see the tip of my nose?!
Shana: I would kinda expect that from Meru, but from you....
Haschel: *gasp* OMG if I bend my index finger like this, then it makes a Y!!!
Shana: You had Guaraha's "special" brownies, didn't you?
Haschel: Shhh....no one's supposed to know that....
Shana: Well, could you help me find the White Rabbit? Or has the weed killed every single one of your brain cells?
Haschel: Did you know that I have a birthmark on my thigh that kinda looks like a Minito's face?
Shana: I think it's more the second one....but that's just GROSS!!
Haschel: Guess who I am?? *Ahem* I'm not dumb, it's the translation!! Hehehe...
Dart: Grrr....
Shana: Okay, I'll be on my way now...
Haschel: Wait a minute I -- WHOA!! *Trips and falls on his face*
Dart: hehehehe
(Haschel's moment of *cough* grace, actually helped out Shana -- he tripped over a trick wire which revealed a secret path to the Queen's garden)
Shana: Oh, thanks for helping me out Haschel
Haschel: *face still flat into the ground)
(Next scene: Shana navigates through a shubbery maze -- )
Tree: NI!!
Me: No. Wrong parody.
Tree: Darn
( -- and at the end of the maze, she spots Lavitz, Kongol, Albert, and Doel dressed as cards and wielding paint cans and brushes, instead of their usual weapons.)
Lavitz: *prancing and singing* PAINTING THE ROSES RED!!! PAINTING THE ROSES RED!!!
Me: LAVITZ!! What have I told you about inhaling the paint fumes?!
Lavitz: *ignore* PAINTING THE ROSES RED!!!!
Kongol: *standing, very into his work* Paint rose red
Albert: You paint the roses red
Doel: No, YOU paint the roses red
Albert: I'm a king, you have to listen to me
Doel: But I'm your uncle, so that gives me superiority!
Albert: But I killed you!!
Me: That's not gunna work, Al, half of my cast is dead
Albert: Actually, approximately 36% of your cast is dead
Me: WHATEVER!!
Doel: YOU'RE the one who's all into this flowery, fruity shit *pause*
Me: I don't you already. I am no longer fighting the PG-13 rating
Albert: I AM NOT FRUITY!! I married a woman!!
Doel: That's what they all say...
Shana: What are you four doing?
Kongol: Paint rose red
Shana: But why? What's wrong with white roses?
Lavitz: Oh, Rose doesn't like white roses -- only red....HEY!! Did you guys notice that we're painting roses, the flowers, for Rose, the person?! That's just like -- whoa....
Albert and Doel: It's not that great
*Trumpets sound*
Lavitz, Albert, Doel, and Kongol: OH NO!! Rose is coming!!! *They hand Shana a bucket and brush* Help us paint!!!
(They feverishly paint while Rose and her midget husband, Zieg approach)
Zieg: Was that REALLY necessary to make me a midget?
Me: Yes.
Rose: Off with their head!! Off with their head!! Muwhahahahaha I love this part...
(The cards and Shana quickly hide the evidence and get down on their knees hehehe)
Rose: Yes, yes, very good boys -- wait, what is this?! *Notices paint dripping off a flower* PAINT?! You PAINTED my precious flowers?!?! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!
All: Dammit
Doel: You give me one friggin part in this entire fic, and I get knocked off within five minutes?!
Me: Just like in the game, huh?
Doel: Grr....
Rose: Wait! Leave the girl here
Lavitz, Albert, Kongol, Doel: Dammit *dragged away by security cards*
Rose: Shana, Shana, Shana...
Shana: Rose, Rose, Rose...
Rose: That's YOUR MAJESTY Rose to you....so what brings you to my kingdom?
Shana: I'm looking for the White Rabbit
Rose: Oh, you mean Miranda in that ridiculous rabbit suit?
Shana: Yeah, I guess -- eh, Your Majesty
Rose: Well, she's right here
Miranda: &^%#$@!@##$%&*())*(&^$#$^%&&*
Me: You know, maybe I should just make Miranda a mute
(And Miranda is now a mute)
Miranda: *kicks and punches the air for a while, then flips me the bird*
Me: You're still a mute, no obscene gesture will get your voice back
Miranda: *sticks her tongue out at me*
Rose: So why were you looking for Miranda anyway, Shana?
Shana: *blink blink* I honestly don't know.
Rose: You mean to tell me that you've been searching for seven pages and over 1000 words for a PMSing Sacred Sister in a costume FOR NO PERTICULAR REASON?!
Shana: Um...basically
Rose: That's it. I can't work like this. Oh, yeah and off with her head *leaves*
Zieg: Wait! Rose, honey, aren't you being a little irrational?! Damn these midget legs!! *Runs after her*
Shana: She's not serious, right? Tina, I can keep my head, right?!
Me: *exasperated* Yes
Lavitz, Albert, Kongol, Doel: Us too?!
Me: *still exasperated* Yes
All: WOHOO!!
Me: God, next time I do this, I'm sticking with my friends...they're easier to manipulate
My friends: Watch it...
(And after that little adventure, I immediately force every one of them into drug rehab)
~ ~ ~
Rose: So what was this chapter's theme?
Me: that DRUGS ARE BAD.
All: Phooey.
~ ~THE END~ ~
Disclaimer: I don't own LoD or Disney, and I don't know the story of Alice in Wonderland very well and I'M NOT ON DRUGS
Part Four: Alice in Wonderland
Cast: Alice = Shana; Mad Hatter = Meru; Unbirthday Guests = Guaraha, Wink; White Rabbit = Miranda; Tweedle Dee = Lloyd; Tweedle Dum = Dart; Queen of Hearts = Rose; King of Hearts = Zieg; Cheshire Cat = Haschel; Cards = Lavitz, Kongol, Albert, Doel
Wohoo, I think I used everybody!
Cast: YES! WE CAN LEGALLY SMOKE DRUGS NOW!!
Me: Just because the rating is G, doesn't mean that the people at Disney don't sneak in adult themes to emotionally scar me for life
Dart: You still aren't over that Bambi incident yet?!
Me: NO! *Sniffle* Why did he have to shoot his mother?! WHY GOD WHY?! *Runs and crys*
Rose: Sweet, I get to be the director now!
Dart: No you don't, I'm the hero of the video game! I get to be the director!!
Rose: But you play Tweedle Dum....I play the Queen of Hearts so I'M the director!
Dart: I'm not dumb, it's all the translation!
All: You keep telling yourself that....
Me: NO ONE'S GUNNA BE THE DIRECTOR CEPT ME! I'm over it, go take your places!
(First scene: Shana/Alice falls asleep and meets the White Rabbit)
Miranda: Shana....choose the blue pill, or the red pill....
Me: This is a parody of Alice and Wonderland -- not the Matrix. And will you PLEASE put on the rabbit suit?!
Miranda: ^$#% no.
Me: Do it or...*cocks shotgun*
Miranda: *grumble* Fine.
Me: Okay, now ACTION!
Miranda: *&^% I'M &^%$ING LATE!!!!
Shana: How curious, a white rabbit with a foul mouth....wait a minute, Rabbit where are you going?!
Miranda: None of your #@!%ing business *jumps down the rabbit hole*
Shana: How rude! I'm following you anyways....*jumps down the rabbit hole*
(And Shana ends up in Wonderland. And now she's lost)
Shana: I think I need a new PR campaign...I hate getting stuck with airhead roles
Me: Okay, Shana....you'll be cast as the strong, intelligent female warrior as soon as Claire says she loves Haschel
Haschel: CLAIRE!!! *Crys*
(And you guessed it, he has another flashback)
Shana: Thats just plain mean.
Me: Thats just how I am
Shana: Oh well....oh look, a mushroom! And it says "eat me" Hm....okay *eats the shroom*
All: SHANA NO!
Shana: Ooohh....preeeeetty colors.....I -- I feel funny I -- *grows twenty feet taller* WHOA!
Kongol: Small one bigger than me
Shana: *scans her surroundings* Oh, look! I think I see Meru! Maybe she can help me find the White Rabbit...oh, but first I think I need to get smaller....
Me: Eat the shroom again
Shana: Gladly! *Takes a big bite*
Me: Oh god, what have I done?
Shana: *shrinks to about 2 inches* That wasnt supposed to happen, correct?
Me: Well, when you abuse the shrooms....ugh, here *uses all-powerful fanfiction magic to restore her to her normal height*
Shana: Thanks. Now I have to remember how to get over to Meru....
(Next scene: Shana finds Meru wearing a ridiculous hat, as well as Guaraha and Wink drinking "tea")
Meru: *singing* Aaaaaah......VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!
Guaraha: Must I say it again?
Meru: YES!
Wink: Can I go home now? All I wanted was a cup of sugar.
Meru: NO!! Now SING!!
Guaraha and Wink: ....to me?
Meru: TO YOU!! A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO ME!
Shana: Excuse me, have any of you seen a White Rabbit?
Guaraha: No, but if you find my fiance's dignity, I would much appreciate it if you give it back to her
Shana: What do you mean? Meru has never had any shame....
Guaraha: I was afraid of that
Meru: HI SHANA!! Guess what?
Shana: What?
Meru: IT'S MY UNBIRTHDAY!!!!!!
Shana: What's that?
Meru: Well, if you have a birthday once a year then your unbirthday is the other 364 days of the year!
Shana: Really? Then it's MY unbirthday too!
Meru: *gasp* You know what this means.....
Guaraha: Please, no more singing...
Meru: A VERRY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!
Wink: Shana, don't do it --
Shana: To me?
Wink: I warned you
Meru: TO YOU!!!!!! *Brings out a huge cake*
Guaraha: I'll just go back to my...*cough* tea....
Wink: Don't say I didn't warn you....
Meru: Make a wish Shana! Makeonemakeonemakeone!!!!
Shana: mmm....okay, I got it! *Closes eyes and blows out candles*
Guaraha and Wink: She's gunna blow!! *ducks*
Cake: *KABOOM*
(Now Meru and Shana are covered in cake...Shana looked P.Oed but Meru looks ecstatic. Guaraha and Wink just look annoyed)
Meru: That was fuuuuuunnn!!!!! Let's do it again!
Guaraha, Wink, and Shana: NO!
Guaraha: Here, Shana....we like to celebrate unbirthdays with "special" brownies...
Shana: What's so special about them?
Wink: The special ingredient is....uh, "love"
Guaraha: A whole big bag of love....hehe....[That 70s Show is one of the tightest shows ever]
(Next scene: Shana leaves the unbirthday party with Guaraha's "special" brownies sitting uneasily in her stomach)
Shana: *groan* Whoa there....oy my head...
(Stumbling along the path, she runs into Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum)
Dart: I'm. Not. Dumb.
Lloyd: *twirls little flyer thing that's on top of his beanie* Weeeee!! I can fly!!!
Shana: You had the shrooms, didn't you?
Lloyd: Maybe, just one cap...hehehe
Me: I knew this was a bad idea...
Shana: Oh, yeah could you two help me with....uh....
Me: *pst* Finding the White Rabbit
Shana: Oh yaaaa.....the White Rabbit
Lloyd: oooo..shroom...
Dart: Stop that! *Smack*
Lloyd: Ow!
Dart: Who's dumb NOW?!
Shana: Hello? White Rabbit?
Dart and Lloyd: She went that way *points in opposite directions*
Shana: You two are a big help...
Dart: Thanks, baby :-D
(Without any help from Dumb and Dumber -- )
Dart: IT'S THE TRANSLATION!!
Me: It's okay, Dart. Really, it is.
Dart: Hmph. At least Striker believes me.
Lloyd: Am I dumb, or am I dumber?
Me: If you really hafta ask....
(Shana continued on her quest to find the White Rabbit, and more drugs. Instead, she finds Haschel in a pink cat costume. But he doesn't seem to be too bothered with that)
Shana: Haschel....?
Haschel: You know, if I cross my eyes, I can see the tip of my nose?!
Shana: I would kinda expect that from Meru, but from you....
Haschel: *gasp* OMG if I bend my index finger like this, then it makes a Y!!!
Shana: You had Guaraha's "special" brownies, didn't you?
Haschel: Shhh....no one's supposed to know that....
Shana: Well, could you help me find the White Rabbit? Or has the weed killed every single one of your brain cells?
Haschel: Did you know that I have a birthmark on my thigh that kinda looks like a Minito's face?
Shana: I think it's more the second one....but that's just GROSS!!
Haschel: Guess who I am?? *Ahem* I'm not dumb, it's the translation!! Hehehe...
Dart: Grrr....
Shana: Okay, I'll be on my way now...
Haschel: Wait a minute I -- WHOA!! *Trips and falls on his face*
Dart: hehehehe
(Haschel's moment of *cough* grace, actually helped out Shana -- he tripped over a trick wire which revealed a secret path to the Queen's garden)
Shana: Oh, thanks for helping me out Haschel
Haschel: *face still flat into the ground)
(Next scene: Shana navigates through a shubbery maze -- )
Tree: NI!!
Me: No. Wrong parody.
Tree: Darn
( -- and at the end of the maze, she spots Lavitz, Kongol, Albert, and Doel dressed as cards and wielding paint cans and brushes, instead of their usual weapons.)
Lavitz: *prancing and singing* PAINTING THE ROSES RED!!! PAINTING THE ROSES RED!!!
Me: LAVITZ!! What have I told you about inhaling the paint fumes?!
Lavitz: *ignore* PAINTING THE ROSES RED!!!!
Kongol: *standing, very into his work* Paint rose red
Albert: You paint the roses red
Doel: No, YOU paint the roses red
Albert: I'm a king, you have to listen to me
Doel: But I'm your uncle, so that gives me superiority!
Albert: But I killed you!!
Me: That's not gunna work, Al, half of my cast is dead
Albert: Actually, approximately 36% of your cast is dead
Me: WHATEVER!!
Doel: YOU'RE the one who's all into this flowery, fruity shit *pause*
Me: I don't you already. I am no longer fighting the PG-13 rating
Albert: I AM NOT FRUITY!! I married a woman!!
Doel: That's what they all say...
Shana: What are you four doing?
Kongol: Paint rose red
Shana: But why? What's wrong with white roses?
Lavitz: Oh, Rose doesn't like white roses -- only red....HEY!! Did you guys notice that we're painting roses, the flowers, for Rose, the person?! That's just like -- whoa....
Albert and Doel: It's not that great
*Trumpets sound*
Lavitz, Albert, Doel, and Kongol: OH NO!! Rose is coming!!! *They hand Shana a bucket and brush* Help us paint!!!
(They feverishly paint while Rose and her midget husband, Zieg approach)
Zieg: Was that REALLY necessary to make me a midget?
Me: Yes.
Rose: Off with their head!! Off with their head!! Muwhahahahaha I love this part...
(The cards and Shana quickly hide the evidence and get down on their knees hehehe)
Rose: Yes, yes, very good boys -- wait, what is this?! *Notices paint dripping off a flower* PAINT?! You PAINTED my precious flowers?!?! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!
All: Dammit
Doel: You give me one friggin part in this entire fic, and I get knocked off within five minutes?!
Me: Just like in the game, huh?
Doel: Grr....
Rose: Wait! Leave the girl here
Lavitz, Albert, Kongol, Doel: Dammit *dragged away by security cards*
Rose: Shana, Shana, Shana...
Shana: Rose, Rose, Rose...
Rose: That's YOUR MAJESTY Rose to you....so what brings you to my kingdom?
Shana: I'm looking for the White Rabbit
Rose: Oh, you mean Miranda in that ridiculous rabbit suit?
Shana: Yeah, I guess -- eh, Your Majesty
Rose: Well, she's right here
Miranda: &^%#$@!@##$%&*())*(&^$#$^%&&*
Me: You know, maybe I should just make Miranda a mute
(And Miranda is now a mute)
Miranda: *kicks and punches the air for a while, then flips me the bird*
Me: You're still a mute, no obscene gesture will get your voice back
Miranda: *sticks her tongue out at me*
Rose: So why were you looking for Miranda anyway, Shana?
Shana: *blink blink* I honestly don't know.
Rose: You mean to tell me that you've been searching for seven pages and over 1000 words for a PMSing Sacred Sister in a costume FOR NO PERTICULAR REASON?!
Shana: Um...basically
Rose: That's it. I can't work like this. Oh, yeah and off with her head *leaves*
Zieg: Wait! Rose, honey, aren't you being a little irrational?! Damn these midget legs!! *Runs after her*
Shana: She's not serious, right? Tina, I can keep my head, right?!
Me: *exasperated* Yes
Lavitz, Albert, Kongol, Doel: Us too?!
Me: *still exasperated* Yes
All: WOHOO!!
Me: God, next time I do this, I'm sticking with my friends...they're easier to manipulate
My friends: Watch it...
(And after that little adventure, I immediately force every one of them into drug rehab)
~ ~ ~
Rose: So what was this chapter's theme?
Me: that DRUGS ARE BAD.
All: Phooey.
~ ~THE END~ ~