A/N: Another request! And some clarification -- I have a skirt very similar to Herc's except it's not brown. It's the same length (judging by how Hercules wears it -- he does wear a very short skirt) and it's got the pleat thing going on, except it's denim with black lace. Now that you all officially don't care, I do have one more thing to say -- apparently, there's already an LoD parody of Kingdom Hearts. But it's only got one chapter. Pity, it was pretty good. Wait, I lie, I got one last thing to say: I'm still working on "Nightmare Before Christmas," and I'm probably also going to do "Sleeping Beauty," "Pocahontas," "Cinderella," "Winnie the Pooh," "The Jungle Book," "Robin Hood" (one of my personal favorites), other requests if ya got 'em, and I'll have to rewatch it, but maybe I could get in "Fantasia." But, we'll see how things work out.

Disclaimer: Not the owner of LoD or Disney. ::Sigh:: Yup.

Part Eleven: Tarzan

Cast: Tarzan = Lloyd; Jane = Shana; Jane's dad = Albert; Clayton = Doel; Kerchak = Kongol; Kala = Miranda; Terk = Meru; Tantor = Dart; Sabor = Lavitz; Special Appearence by Lenus, Boberto, Timoty, Nikole, Lorena, Ania

Lloyd Glompers: ::swoon, sigh, scream, cry, and other fan girl type motions at the idea of Lloyd in a loincloth::

Me: ::locks them back in their cage, with the Albert glompers:: Damn bitches. Anyway, it's the role Kongol was born to play!!!

Kongol: Tina mean

Rose and Zieg: Well, if you won't be needed us, we'll be having some alone time ::leaves::

Lavitz: ::grabs a video camera:: And I'll be watching ::follows::

All: Ewwwwwwww

Me: ACTION!!

(We're gunna skip over the part with Kerchak and Kala's baby being eaten by Sabor and Tarzan's parents also being eaten by Sabor. Damn that Sabor. Although the song that Phil Collins sings is pretty tight. In fact, I love this entire soundtrack. While the actors prepare for their parts, let's sit and listen to the opening song)

Readers: Alright

::Opening song plays::

(Isn't it nice that we can listen to a Disney song in its original form, and not effed up by an annoying Legend of Dragoon character?)

Meru, Lavitz, Miranda, Lloyd, Dart, Shana, Haschel (all who did their own sing and dance numbers): WE HATE YOU TOO!!

(Anyway, it's time for Lloyd to prove his worth)

Lloyd: ::standing in the middle of the set:: Before I do, I have a few bones to pick about this part.

Me: Oh god....

Lloyd: First of all, ::twirling his hair around his finger:: WHY do I have PLATINUM DREDLOCKS?! Couldn't you have just given me a wig?!

Me: Because I thought it would be funnier for you to grow out your natural hair [those of you who do fan art, I give full permission to draw and post any of these characters in their Disney costumes, but ESPECIALLY Lloyd in his Tarzan costume with platinum dredlocks]

Lloyd: Don't tell them that!!

Dart: Wait, if that's his natural hair, that means....he hasn't washed it!!

All: GROSS!!!

Me: Is that all the bones ya got?

Lloyd: No! Second, I don't fight with spears, I fight with swords ::throws the spear aside::

Albert and Lavitz: ::fight each other to get the spear::

Lloyd: Finally, WHY THE HELL am I wearing your skirt?!

[Yes, indeed, Lloyd is wearing my infamous skirt that Albert used in the "Hercules" chapter. Like I said, I totally encourage fan artists to draw Lloyd with platinum dredlocks, a spear, and my "Hercules" skirt.]

Me: We're on a very tight budget! I couldn't afford a loincloth for you, and I couldn't let you use Kongol's cuz his is too big for you, and he needs it!

Kongol ::grunt::

Lloyd: A loincloth is semi-manly...but a teenage girl's skirt?! I can't work like this!!

Me: You can and WILL! ::throws him the Dragon Buster:: Here's your friggin sword, now go prove your worth!!

Lloyd: Fine! Where is that damn Sabor anyways?

Lenus: ::in the Sabor costume:: MY LOVE!!

Lloyd: GAAH!! NOOOO!! ::flees for his life::

Me: What the hell?! Where's Lavitz, he's supposed to be Sabor! He requested that damn part too!

Dart: You actually fulfill casting requests? Then why didn't you let me be Gaston in the "Beauty and the Beast" chapter?!

Me: You never requested that part

Dart: Well, I never actually said that out LOUD but....

Me: I still dunno where Lavitz is!

Lloyd: ::still fleeing for his life::

Lenus: ::chasing after him:: Lloyd!! We were destined for each other!!

Rose: I found him

Me: Where is he?

Rose: In some broom closet on the fourth floor. I think the Wingly bitch did that to him.

Me: Did you let him out?

Rose: HAH! Are you kidding? He needs to be punished for taping that "footage" of me and Zieg ::holds a tape behind her back::

Lavitz: ::bound and gagged in a broom closet::

Me: Oh god....why did my security guards even let Lenus through?? Were they sleeping on the job or something??

Rose: You still got those two kids from your first fic working for you? Oh, I was wondering why there were three sets of legs in there....

Boberto and Timoty: ::bound and gagged in the same broom closet as Lavitz::

Haschel: ::sitting at the catering table, munching on some chips:: I am soooooo glad I'm not cast in this mess

Zieg: ::nods::

(This is ridiculous. Meru, Dart, trash the camp!!)

Meru and Dart: YAY!

::"Trashing the Camp" plays on my stereo::

(Once again, the Almighty Narrator saves the day)

Me: The fic's not done yet, don't start gloating

Meru: ::throwing dishes and instruments around:: Shoo-be-do-shoo-be-do-ba- da-da-dee-da-da!!

Dart: ::in his elephant costume:: Stomp, stomp, stomp

Albert: My research!!

Doel: ::fires off his shotgun:: DAMN! I love this role!!

(Hold it guys. We need to have Shana be chased by rogue baboons first)

Shana: Oh how cute, a little monkey ::draws the monkey::

Monkey: ::takes his picture::

Shana: Hey! ::takes it back::

Monkey: ::cries::

Shana: Oh, please don't cry

Rogue Baboons: ::begin to chase her::

Shana: Aaaaaaahhhh!!! ::flees for her life::

(And then Lloyd sweeps her up and leads the baboons on a chase through the vines, where he gets rope burn on his hands and feet [from the vine surfing]. The two get away, but the baboons take Shana's boot, umbrella, and picture.)

(Now it's the scene where Lloyd and Shana are alone in a tree, and Lloyd discovers that there is more people like him in the world. However, this scene would be more relevant if we had shown the scene with little Tarzan and Kala and the heart and eyes and hands thing, but alas, Miranda's voice is still lost and Lloyd was too busy complaining about his costume.)

Miranda: ::do I really need to say what she does? Yup, more profane gestures::

Lloyd: I'm the title character, shouldn't I get a bit more screen time and a better costume than this?

Me: Ya know, you're supposed to give straight narration, NOT biased commentary.

(That WAS straight narration. I was simply telling the readers how we cut one scene, so it is only logical to cut another similar to it)

Dart: I just think she likes to hear herself talk

Lavitz: Sounds like someone else we know ::sideways glance towards Albert::

Albert: What?

Me: ::rubs temples:: Whatever

(Shana returns to the camp)

Albert: Shana, what happened to you?

Shana: ::talking very fast:: Well, I was walking in the jungle and I came across this baby monkey. It was so cute, so I drew it, but it wanted its portrait and I wouldn't give it to him. He started to cry, and then a whole fleet of monkeys started chasing me!

Albert: Fleet of monkeys?

Shana: Yes! And Albert, they took my boot! ::points to her bare foot::

Albert: I got you those boots

Shana: But then, ::dreamily:: I was saved by a wild man in a loincloth!

Albert: ::scandalized:: Loincloth?!

Shana: Well, it looked more like a teenage girl's shirt, but whatever. It says "loincloth" in the script.

Albert: That's even worse

Doel: ::shoots off his shotgun::

Albert: Can we replace that gun with, like, a pop gun? Or squirt gun?

Me: Why, ya scared that Doel might actually succeed in killing you?

Doel: ::cocks his shotgun:: Heh heh heh....

Albert: Yeah, pretty much.

Me: ::takes Doel's gun:: I'll unload it, how does that work for you?

Doel: Awwww

Albert: Ummm....I still don't want to walk in front of him.

Me: Fine. Continue with the story, please.

Albert: We will as soon as a certain wildman makes his entrance

Lloyd: ::hanging above the other three:: Once all the blood rushes to my head, then I'll be down.

Doel: ::shoots Lloyd down:: NEVER hang upside down in a skirt AGAIN!!

Lloyd: ::falls:: OW!!

Doel: Shut up, it's not loaded.

Shana: Um, I present, the wildman.

Lloyd: ::very Steve Martin-like:: I am a wild and crazy guy!!

Meru: ::monkeys-around with Lloyd:: Oooh ooh, aah aah!

Lloyd: How random, but whatever

Albert: Research!! ::grabs a pencil and paper and takes notes::

Doel: You know where the gorillas are? Take us to the gorillas!!

Lloyd: Okay

(In the gorilla's nest)

Kongol: ME HATE HUMANS!! KONGOL SMASH!! ::runs toward Doel::

Doel: ::shoots Kongol::

Kongol: ::falls to the floor, apparently dead::

Albert: You bastard, you loaded it!!

Doel: You're next

Lloyd: Nooooo!

Me: WAIT! Kongol's not supposed to happen till the end! We're only at the half-way point!!

THE END

Me: No it's not!!

Dart: ::back in his LoD garb:: It's not? Oh, well, we already changed out of our costumes. Especially Lloyd.

Lloyd: ::in his LoD garb as well, getting his hair cut by Miranda::

Dart: You're gunna trust her with scissors near your head?

Miranda: ::threatens Dart with the scissors::

Me: Has anyone seen Rose and Zieg?

Shana: Umm, I think they went looking for Lavitz and your security friends

Me: Seriously, where are they?

Doel: Probably making out in the closet next to them...damn, I wish I had a love interest.

Albert: Aww, Uncle's just an old softy

Doel: No, I'm just a man who needs to get laid

All: ....

Lenus: ::isn't it annoying how she keeps popping up?:: SWEETHEART!! DARLING LLOYD!!

Lloyd: AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!! ::flees for his life with only half his hair cut::

Dart: ::takes Miranda's scissors:: Gimme those!

Miranda: ::pouts::

Me: Oh well, I might as well end it now, my title character is once again on the run. Guaraha, go wash my skirt!!

Guaraha: Yes, Mistress

THE REAL END

Nikole: ::opens a door, looks around:: Hellooooo?? Anyone here?? I think we're lost

Lorena: I f-cking TOLD you that this is not our f-cking fic!

Ania: ::examines a paper sign:: Hmm, "Dragoons Do Disney Movies." Well, we're in the right subcategory, but not the right fic. Although I wish Tina would update our fic. I'm getting tired of waiting around for you guys to rescue me, and Mateo's starting to get on my nerves.

Nikole: ::opening doors:: Helloooooo?? Helloooooooo?? ::opens another door:: Hello -- oh! Hey!

Lavitz, Boberto, Timoty: ::still bound and gagged in the broom closet::

Ania: Is that Boberto and Timoty?

Lavitz, Boberto, Timoty: ::muffled cries::

Lorena: ::shuts the door:: Let's go, some guy in a skirt told me the way outta here.

Girls: ::leave the building::

Lavitz, Boberto, Timoty: ::muffled sobs::

SERIOUSLY, THE CHAPTER IS OVER NOW