She's Back... - Chapter Two
Lady Nakosha
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Another addition within the same month... its an amazing feat, don't you agree?
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ALL STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY
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Motoki had gone over yesterday morning only about a hundred times or so in his mind, and each time, he convinced himself that he did the right thing, not kissing her. She was in obvious pain, and kissing her would only fuel that pain and be giving her the idea that he was taking advantage of her and the situation, and well, frankly, that was an idea he did not want to give her.
Motoki paced in his living room, he didn't want to call her and seem like a desperate fool that couldn't stay away. He had to wait for her to call, or else he'd be cornering her, clawing for her attention.
So he would wait.
"Are you going to do that all day?" His younger sister, Elizabeth asked as she stuffed a handful of popcorn into her mouth and began munching on it.
Motoki whirled around, irritably. "I'm thinking, can't you see that?"
"The only thing I can't see is the TV!" Elizabeth complained as she pointedly looked at the television set behind him.
"You'll have the television all to yourself when I leave in an hour for work." He argued, his patience for the fifteen-year-old wearing thin. "Plus, it's my apartment so I can pace wherever I want."
"Well, I'm staying here for a week which means I'm basically living here, more or less, so move!" She reasoned, with an illogical logic, Motoki noted. She attempted to push her older brother aside, but ended up spilling half the bowl of popcorn onto the floor.
"Great job spilling the popcorn!" He rolled his eyes, why did he bother to argue with the imp? "Why don't you try to get it through your head that I pay for the rent, so I own the place. You're a guest, so you're supposed to be thankful and gracious towards me for even considering taking your sorry butt in. Now I suggest that you go to the GUESTroom and watch Nickelodeon."
"I get your point already." She stood up and slammed the bowl down onto the glass, coffee table in exasperation. "I'm fifteen, Motoki. I don't watch Nickelodeon anymore."
"Could have fooled me." He pushed her towards the door and listened to her slam the door and the sounds of MTV wail from the other room after a second of silence.
Motoki once again contemplated calling Usagi, but something physically stopped him from dialing her number.
He hadn't done anything wrong or even right with her; why feel guilt toy with him?
Mamoru.
But that guilt wasn't rational! Mamoru had given up all claims to Usagi's heart the moment he intimately touched Rei, but despite, Motoki knew better. It was just like the time he broke up with Usagi because of the dreams he had, or the time when he had made fun of her when he really was in love with her and when...
Motoki pushed the thoughts of anything relating to Mamoru to the back of his mind. Mamoru wasn't apart of the equation anymore. He had forfeited his place and now Motoki's turn to try to fit in that empty slot in Usagi's heart.
Motoki just hoped that it was cut out big enough for him to fit in.
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Usagi stood in front of the two-story house and inhaled the familiar scent of blooming flowers. A rush of memories floated in Usagi's mind as she made her way up the steps and poised her hand to knock at the door.
She knocked three times with a considerable amount of pause between each one. She could hear a boyish voice yell as the sound of thunder pounded down the stairs and the door pulled wide open. Usagi stared at her brother in fascination, he had grown a few inches, his sandy brown-blondish hair had gotten darker and longer, his skin was a bit tanner, his eyes were deep brown, no longer the light-brown that she remembered... and was that an unshaven stubble?!
"Aren't you going to say hi?" She teased shyly.
Her mother came up beside him and searched his face. "Shingo, what is wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost--"
She didn't finish her sentence because she took one look at Usagi and took in a deep breath before her eyes rolled inside her head and she fainted right on the spot. Usagi's hand covered her mouth as she was at her mother's side blowing at her face and cradling her head gently. This definitely hadn't been one of her scenarios.
Before Usagi had time to blink, Shingo was hugging Usagi with every ounce in his being, it seemed. His figure was squeezing Usagi so tightly she was sure she would pass out from the lack of air.
"Shingo...(gasp)...you're choking me, let me go...(another gasp)...I'm just as excited as you, but...(deep breath)...I can't breathe..."
Shingo finally let her go and turned away from her so she wouldn't see that his eyes were wet with tears. Usagi's gaze softened, as she looked at her little brother... who wasn't so little anymore. "Guess I can't beat you up anymore, huh?"
He gave her a wolfish smile. "You never could beat me up in the first place, even if I was a shrimp and a foot smaller than you."
Usagi laughed. "You'd always tell on me so I couldn't beat you up without getting grounded."
"It worked, didn't it?"
Usagi groaned. "Yeah, it did. It was a very effective tactic."
They both became silent and just stared at each other, both unsure of what to say to someone they hadn't seen in nearly five years.
Shingo finally spoke. "Why'd you leave? For five years, Usagi. Five years of not knowing where you were or being able to see you once. You only gave us a letter and called us every some months, sometimes a postcard if we were lucky." He sighed. "It was just like we weren't good enough anymore, so you just picked up and left."
Usagi blinked back tears. She had expected this. These questions; the hurt. But she hadn't expected to see so much hurt in her beloved brother's eyes. But she had to make him understand! "Shingo, I—" she broke off, the way she started off her sentence... it didn't feel as though she would get her point across by begging him to understand and forgive her. "You guys meant everything to me, you still mean the world. But it had to happen; I had to leave. I'll tell you all at the right time, I promise, but right now I just can't. I just have to deal with some things then I can talk, Shingo, just give me time."
"We've given you five years." He pointed out softly.
Usagi's voice cracked at the broken-hearted sound in his voice. "I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused, but there was no other way around it, the only thing I can do is ask for forgiveness. I'm sorry that I hurt you... but I'm not sorry I left. Leaving was the best decision I made, leaving cleared my head helped me see things through a clearer perspective. I was blind and angry before, I'm still angry, but no longer blind."
Shingo nodded, although Usagi was sure he wouldn't quite grasp what she meant by her being 'blind and angry.' "How long are you staying for?"
Usagi had yet to figure that out for herself. Designers Inc said at least for six months, maybe even a year, but Usagi wasn't sure if she could handle staying that long in the one place that held both horrible and wonderful memories for her. "I'm not sure."
"I guess we'll talk about this later, right now we have help get Mom inside." Shingo looked at their awakening mother.
Usagi helped him gently lift their mother up and carried her over to the couch and laid her down carefully.
Usagi picked at the imaginary dust on her blue jeans. Her mother's eyes blinked slowly at first as she adjusted to the light and came into focus. She sat straight up, which only managed to make her headache worse. "Oooh, my head is killing me..." she moaned, but when she saw Usagi, her eyes immediately lit up, her headache forgotten. "Usagi!"
Usagi weakly smiled, overwhelmed by her mother's repeated hugs and kisses and bursts of glee and happiness. "You're back!"
She nodded, still caught in the whirlwind her mother fainting, then the heartfelt chat with Shngo... "Yes. Yes, I am."
Her mother's brightness left as quickly as it had come. Usagi had also expected this. Just not in such a warped speed. "Honey, what happened? Why did you... disappear?" Her mother looked pained by the word, as if those three syllables summed up her entire existence as a mother.
"I'm sorry, I should have put more consideration into everyone else, but everything happened so quickly that it didn't even cross my mind that I may have other people who love me care if I just fell off the face of the planet."
"Please don't leave again. At least not without telling us." She looked at Usagi adoringly. "After all, you are all grown up now, aren't you?"
Usagi shook her head. She felt so relaxed... so at home. There wasn't another feeling like it. "Yeah, I guess I am."
Her mother stood up. "Would you like some lemonade? Freshly squeezed? Would you mind... telling us what happened or at least giving us somewhere to contact you at? When you're ready, that is." Her mother added quickly, as if she was fearful that Usagi would run screaming in the opposite direction if she felt too closed in by her mother.
As if that was the reason she had left in the first place. But of course I didn't leave because of them, Usagi silently reflected. Usagi hesitated at the offer and glanced at her watch, then to the hopeful faces of her mother and her brother. It was barely past three o'clock. She had more than three hours to kill before meeting with Mina. Maybe staying for another hour or so wouldn't hurt... after all; her family did deserve an explanation, the truth no less.
Maybe it was time to start to come clean with everyone...
She despised Mamoru and Rei for lying and betraying her, but was she really any better for keeping her family in the dark for so long and lying to her friends by not giving them any sign of her existence?
Of course I'm better than those two, Usagi scoffed. I can't believe I compared myself to them, of all people.
"Yeah, Mom." Usagi smiled genuinely. "Lemonade and some overdue heart-to- heart would be nice."
Usagi decided that to be on the safe side, to reassure herself that she was indeed nothing like them—which she wasn't—she'd tell her family everything that had happened in the past five years... even the events that had sparked her eventual decision to leave.
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Ami inhaled deeply as she watched the usual scene of laughter and chaos erupt around her. She was going to do it. There was not other way around telling them, Ami decided firmly. She knew she had promised on her life that she wouldn't tell, but she just had to, didn't Usagi understand that? She wasn't accustomed to keeping such huge, life-changing secrets from her friends! And not only that, more than anything, they deserved to know, they had suffered so much in the past five years that she didn't even want to try to keep this from them anymore and be apart of their prolonged suffering.
She refused to take part in this entire fiasco of secrecy! She absolutely hated it and wouldn't do it anymore!
"Guys, I have something really important to tell you." She announced, flinching at how serious her words sounded.
The other three turned towards her. Their conversations stopped immediately as they looked at Ami with confusion and curiosity. "Ami, you sound so serious." Makoto jested, trying to lighten the suddenly somber mood.
Ami opened her mouth to begin, but Mina yelped in surprise and jumped up. "Oh, shit, I've got a meeting with this Kingsley woman from Designers Inc in, like, five seconds and I've still got to get ready. She's supposedly amazing or something."
It didn't even register in Ami's mind that Mina was talking about Usagi; she was so focused on what she would say. "Ami! I've got to go now, so can you just tell us super fast?" she tapped her foot, not bothering to mask her impatience.
Ami gulped, hating the way her voice was raspy and hoarse. "Of course, yesterday I found out that..."
From the intent look on their faces and the bored expression on Mina's, Ami knew that this was neither the right time nor her place to tell them. It was Usagi's decision, as leaving had been, when to tell them and in whatever way that she would. Ami finding out had been unfortunate because now she would have to keep such brilliant news to herself.
Ami cleared her throat in an attempt to buy herself some time to think of a quick, on the spot cover-up that they would believe. "...That we should become more alert because unknown forces may be rising." She finished slowly, cringing at her fake excuse.
Mina threw her hands up in the air and to her delight, shushed her before she embarrassed herself any further. "Ami, pu-leese. Have you got amnesia? You told us that last week and we looked into it and found nothing. And I thought you were going to tell us something important." She interjected sarcastically. If only she knew, Ami thought gloomily. If only.
"Okay. I'm lame, I know. I guess I forgot. I've got a lot on my mind, after all." Ami weakly agreed. "Go already. It's obvious that you're halfway down the block as it is."
Mina shot her a thankful smile and gathered her things before hastily leaving Ami's house. Ami couldn't help but to feel guilt creep up and cast shadows of shame on her heart. She could already hear the nasty voices that proclaimed her guilty and she was doing nothing to defend herself, why plead innocence when the whispers spoke the truth?
But she realized her guilt wasn't based on keeping this secret from her friends. Ami knew that she was probably the only one who knew of Usagi's return and somehow she felt that that pulled her closer to Usagi, that Ami was sharing a secret with Usagi when no one else could.
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"OMG, aren't you Mina Charles?" An excited, high-pitched voice shrieked excitedly. "Can I please, please have your autograph?"
Mina put on a bright, broad smile and turned around. She blinked as several notepads were thrust into her face.
Mina obediently signed her name, each "i" dotted with a heart and each "a" finished with a flourish. After signing several notebooks, scraps of papers, receipts, shirts, and stomachs, Mina made her way through the crowd and breathed a sign of relief as the doors closed behind her and silence filled her ringing ears.
She took her time to relish the sudden quiet and calm atmosphere of the restaurant. "Last name... please?" A squeaky, nervous waiter asked. Mina faced him and gave him another dazzling smile, which seemed to make him lose his concentration and become even more nervous.
"Charles, Minerva Charles." She said confidently, craning her neck to see if she recognized anyone. "For two, that is."
The waiter nodded briskly before grabbing two menus and motioned for her to follow him. His cheeks were flaming and his hands were shaking as he pulled out the chair for her when the arrived at her table. "It seems that your... the person you're meeting isn't here yet. Your waiter will be here momentarily." He finished quickly, searching her face for some kind of praise or acknowledgement.
Mina nodded breezily before flipping through her menu and skimming the choices lazily. "Thank you." He stood there a moment longer than necessary before scurrying off back to the front to help other hungry customers.
Mina was beginning to regret that she had rushed here from Ami's house, worried about being late, when the woman, Serena Kingsley wasn't even here yet! Mina smiled and decided to take this opportunity to go to the bathroom and freshen up and maybe even flirt some with that semi-cute waiter who was so fidgety and anxious to please to her.
Grabbing her purse, Mina stood up and only was able to get ten steps from her table before she bumped into someone, causing them to stumble backwards in surprise. Mina glanced at the woman and was swept up in sudden nostalgia.
What the hell...? The woman looked at her quickly before she downcast her eyes and trained her gaze to the ground, causing a curtain of blond curls to tumble in her face. Mina expertly speed-walked to the bathroom, both unnerved and shaky.
Who was that woman and why was Mina acting so... so... ridiculous? She was acting like a star-struck fool that had yet to collect her wits.
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Usagi stared at Mina's quickly retreating back. If her mother hadn't held her up for those ten minutes that she had, then Usagi would have been facing an interrogation from Mina instead of sitting across from her in a heavy, tension filled silence as she waited for Mina to figure out who she really was.
She had seen the flicker of emotions fly across her eyes as she tried to place where she had seen Usagi. Like Ami, it was only a matter of time before Mina and everyone else figured out that she was back.
What was she so afraid of, anyway? Why was she so terrified to let them know of her return? Usagi's brows rose, even she knew the answer to that question. Once her friends found out, Usagi would give them a day or so before one of them accidentally let it slip around Rei or Mamoru that Usagi had come back.
And Usagi wasn't sure if she was ready or fully prepared to see either one of them yet. Suddenly five years didn't seem like such a long time to be away anymore. Maybe she had come back too soon... was even her job worth all of this drama and suspense?
Usagi shook her head in disbelief at what she was getting herself into as she approached the bathroom door. Mina was in there; she knew that. Usagi had the feeling that she was trying to actually sabotage herself and have one her friends figure it out.
Unbelievable.
Mina gave her lipstick a last touch up before she was fully satisfied with her reflection. Pulling her hair back into a low ponytail, she decided against it and her fingers worked with a mind of their own as Mina realized that she was putting her hair back into its traditional half ponytail, minus the bright red bow. God, she hadn't used this hairstyle since... Usagi had left.
Only because my photographer thought that I needed a change, Mina protested silently.
Pushing the heavy door open, she recognized the woman that she had knocked into as pushed her way past her. Mina felt a wave of déjà vu as she stared at the woman's back.
The same thought lingered on her mind. Who was she?
Rubbing her eyes, she shook her head and went back to her table. She couldn't possibly be whom she was thinking. It was a one in a million chance.
But she couldn't help but to let a bubble of hope swell inside of her.
Mina stopped herself from knocking on the bathroom door and continued back to the table. She refused to set herself up for yet another letdown. She refused to break her heart all over again. Once bitten, twice shy, Mina supposed.
Mina mentally used a pin to that darned bubble that had puffed up within her.
The bubble of hope burst.
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Usagi zipped her skirt up and flushed the toilet using her high-heeled shoe. Rinsing her hands, she thought about how she was going to react when Mina figured out it was she. It was bound to happen sometime, right? Usagi just hoped that it would be later, rather than sooner.
Looking at the mirror, she pretended to look shocked. "Oh, wow! You've sure changed and everything!" She said to the mirror before covering her mouth with her wet hand. Usagi groaned. She was a clothing designer and Mina was a model for God's sake. It wasn't as if Usagi had actually dropped off the face of the Earth; Usagi read the tabloids, she was updated daily by Belle on the condition of all her potential clients that would model her line.
She tried again. "Usagi? I don't know of any Usagi..." Ugh.
"Excuse me, but this is a business meeting and I don't think that this relates..." Like that would fly with Mina. Try again.
"Um, Mina, can we just keep this a secret between you and me...?" Usagi shook her head; she knew that Mina couldn't keep a secret if her life depended on it.
Sighing, Usagi dried her hands and sauntered out of the bathroom with a defeated heart, but nevertheless, a brave smile, as if she was ready to take on the world.
Which she, ironically, was anything but.
When Usagi spotted Mina at the table, waiting impatiently for her arrival, Usagi was struck with an urge to run over and hug her long-time friend. Why should she be? She hadn't seen Mina in so long, yet she was forcing herself to hide from her.
It's not the right time, remember? Her mind reminded her plaintively.
Mustering together whatever was left of her nerves; Usagi marched over to the table and hoped for the best.
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"Minako Charles?" Surprised, Mina turned around; only to be met by somewhat familiar, startling deep blue eyes. Mina's eyes traveled the rest of her face and realized that it was that same woman... again!
Why did they keep meeting? "Yes?" She rasped, her hands fiddling with her purse's strap. "Please, call me Mina."
"Serena Kingsley, expert fashion line designer at Designers INC. Serena reached out and shook her hand before seating herself across from Mina.
That's where I've seen her from, Mina reasoned. I've read about her... she's the new "it" girl in the world of fashion and designing. That's all. "Oh. That's right."
Usagi shot her a suspicious look when Mina bent over to pick up the napkin that she had dropped on the carpeted floor. She hadn't been sure if she would have been able to shake Mina's hand without her noticing the slight nervous tremble in her hands. Usagi cleared her throat. "So, we're both here to meet you to discuss your affiliation with us at Designers INC, am I correct?"
"Yep." Mina responded, breaking from her formal, business-like tone. Before she could say anymore, their waiter approached them and politely introduced himself before requesting what they wanted for drinks.
"Water is fine for me." They both said in unison. Usagi bit her lip, she knew it wasn't unusual for them to both share a preference towards water, but Usagi felt that anything... even the simplest thing would set off the bomb they were sitting on...
The waiter nodded, not fazed in the least, and hurried off to get their drinks. "Do you know what you're getting?" Mina asked, trying to make conversation. She glanced at Usagi curiously. She wasn't an expert at these meetings by no means, but shouldn't they be going over paperwork or smoothing out any questions in the contract—something to rid them of the heavy silence that hung over their heads?
"Um, not yet." Usagi answered simply, not willing to indulge in a wordy- more-than-necessary conversation. "How about you?" She added, Mina knew only for her sake.
Mina's brows rose. "Yeah, same here." She giggled half-heartedly. Usagi looked at her, inquisitive. "Guess we share a tendency to be indecisive too, huh?"
Usagi cracked a smile. "Yeah, I guess we do." But the smile disappeared off her face as quickly as it had come, as if she was doing something wrong. Mina shook her head. Usagi wasn't the only one acting odd; the entire situation felt... different. As if they had done this thousands of times before.
Maybe in a past life, Mina thought, smiling slightly at her inward joke. She snuck a peek at Usagi again, she seemed to be captivated by the selections in the menu, Mina could have sworn that with the intensity that Usagi was reading it with, she would soon start to burn holes through it.
Usagi and Mina didn't say anything for a few minutes; both of them were uncomfortable and lost in their own thoughts; trying to figure out if this entire evening was going to be bust or if one of them could rescue it before the entire evening wasted away in silence. Usagi didn't know what the problem was; she had done business arrangements over lunch a hundred times, Mina wasn't any different. Just another prospective client.
Usagi sighed. What her brain tried to convince her of sometimes still- astounded Usagi. She knew this would never work... there was too much personal involvement and plus Usagi couldn't get a word out without hesitation or worry that maybe something she would say would trigger recognition.
She knew she should have, once again, gone with her gut instinct instead of listening to her heart's pleads and her mind's supposed intellectual argument that Mina would never figure it out, she had changed too much, or she'd never figure out who Usagi was, she was, after all a bit thickheaded at times.
To both women's relief, the same waiter approached them with their waters and flipped to a new page, poised to take their orders.
Usagi glanced at the door; it's openness and freedom, away from here called to her, its wide open door appealed to Usagi's every sense... she could feel every voice inside of her, heart, mind, gut instinct combine together and chant the same mantra until she could hear nothing else:
Go, go, go...
Usagi bit her lip and inhaled deeply as she furrowed her brows together and looked at Mina, who was most probably already piecing together the pieces in her mind and on the verge of breaking the lock to her secret.
"...and can my salad have light Italian dressing on it, too? Sorry about the trouble and misunderstanding about the salad." She handed him her menu.
The waiter, who Usagi admitted was pretty good-looking, with his short, blond curly tuffs of hair, rich brown eyes, winked at Minako flirtatiously. "Ah, for someone as beautiful as you, I..."
Usagi tuned the two of them out and smiled, the waiter's looks and obvious mellow and playful nature reminded her so much of Motoki.
Motoki. Usagi chewed on her inside cheek as the image of Motoki popped into her mind. God, she could use a friendly face... someone who wouldn't grill her with questions or judge her by her past decisions. "And you? Miss?" Usagi snapped out of her reverie when she realized that the waiter and Mina were both staring at her.
Usagi closed the menu and set it softly on the table. She really wanted to see Motoki, but she couldn't possibly be in two places at once... so there was only one solution to this entire debacle. In a way, Usagi rationed, I'm saving both of us the misery of having to sit through an entire awkward dinner...
She glanced between the two of them, questioning looks hovering in their eyes. "Actually," she began, with a sheepish laugh, "I have to be on my out." She nodded her head in the direction of the door.
Mina's mouth opened, but quickly closed when Usagi stood up. "It was lovely meeting you, Minako, I hope you decide to stay with our company, and I'm sorry I can't stay any longer to discuss the terms or whatever, but I've really got to go. I've just remembered that I forgot all about this important thing back... at the—office that requires my immediate attention." She made a vague wave, as if she was helpless to the ways of life.
"Um, okay, well, I guess I'll call your assistant or something to schedule another meeting." Mina stammered, caught off guard by Usagi's sudden departure.
The waiter stood back some, as if gauging to see if it was safe yet to speak. "Shall I...?"
"Oh, don't worry about dinner, Mina, just put it on my tab." She started to shrug her blazer on. "Consider it my apology for leaving on such short notice."
With those last words, Usagi swept up and left the restaurant, leaving a confused and slightly flustered Minako behind.
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The moment Usagi walked through the automatic glass doors, she was greeted by the familiar sight of Motoki wiping down the counters, utterly focused on his job at hand.
It reminded her too much of when she had been fourteen and crushing on Motoki. She let a ghost of a smile play at her lips. Ha. Not much had changed since then; the only thing being that she wasn't wrapped up in Mamoru or being badgered twenty-four-seven by her mother about her failing grades.
"Motoki." She breathed as she approached him, a faint blush staining her cheeks.
To Usagi's much surprise, he looked up. "Usagi!" he beamed, dropped the rag on the counter. He pressed the inside of his palms against the counter that he had probably tenaciously been wiping at for the past hour or so and gave her a bright smile, his eyes crinkled and sparkled when he spoke. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"Yeah, I didn't expect to be here, either." Usagi sat herself on the stool that she had sat on so many times before, idly sipping her milkshake, daydreaming about everything to nothing. "I was at a meeting with... Mina and I completely freaked." Usagi left out the fact that coming here, to see him, had been apart of the force that had propelled her to leave.
That would be admitting... that would hold meanings that she had yet to reveal...
"Oh? Are you okay?" He stroked her arm in concern, but even Usagi could see how his eyes darkened with emotions. He quickly retracted his hand, he was unsure of whether he should touch her or not. "Did Mina... know anything?"
Usagi shrugged tiredly. "I don't know if she knew anything, but I wasn't willing to stay around to find out."
"You've been through a lot during these past few days. Are you sure you can handle all of this stress on top of work?" He asked her, worriedly. "You've got that line to still do, right?"
Usagi groaned as she slammed her head against the countertop. "I don't know anymore, Motoki. It seems that matters concerning my heart are going to have to take a backseat as my job seems to becoming more and more stressful these days."
Motoki nodded, but his eyes were clouded with an emotion that Usagi couldn't quite read. "Motoki, what's wrong?"
Motoki looked at her with the look of a five-year-old caught sneaking a cookie. "Usagi, you need to know something."
Usagi's breath quickened as she searched her mind for what he possibly needed to tell her. There was only one thing that she could think of that was plausible enough...
"Mamoru and Rei..." he paused, making sure that Usagi understood the depth of what he was going to tell her, "are getting married. Next month."
Usagi felt the blood rush her held all at once. This was definitely not one of her scenarios. "Oh my God, I think that I've just had a stroke... or I'm going to faint..."
Motoki gently led her to the backroom where there was a ratty looking couch with its upholstery ripped up and the seams coming undone on the sides and sat her down on it. Usagi barely registered that she was in a different room, much less that Motoki had handed her a steamy cup of hot chocolate.
"Compliments of the chef." He weakly joked, trying to help the color return to her waxen cheeks.
Usagi stared into the cup, fascinated by its liquid contents as she avoided eye contact with him. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
Motoki scratched the back of his head vigorously. "Well, you had so much on your mind and I don't know... I just couldn't hurt you like that." He stared at her with such intensity that Usagi had to look away. "I knew that it would hurt your heart would break if I told you because I know that despite everything that's happened you do still care."
Usagi softened at his words. How was it that he could read her so well and say the exact right thing? "Yeah, I guess." Usagi mumbled.
Motoki gave her a lopsided smile that melted Usagi's insides. "So you're not mad?"
Being angry with Motoki was one thing; staying mad was another. Usagi sighed in defeat. She was fighting a lost battle. "No, I guess not." She narrowed her eyes and stuck her hand out towards him. His eyes glanced from her hand to her face in confusion. "Promise me that whenever you find out something important, you'll tell me."
Motoki wavered. "But..."
"No buts in this Motoki. I need to know everything that happens. I don't want you to spare my feelings, however horrible it may be." She looked away. "It's really my only connection with them."
Motoki reached for her, but hesitated and pulled back. He wanted to just hold her, just the chance to touch her, but she wasn't his to touch... she wasn't ready for love yet...
But what if she is? His mind whispered, conjuring images and fantasies that sent surges of arousal throughout him. What if she wants you and is waiting to make sure you love her the same? She must be cautious after what happened with Mamoru...
Motoki tried shaking himself of the thoughts that haunted him with fantasies that weren't possible... there was just too much pain, even five years later. It was too complicated. He would wait, he promised himself. He would wait.
Usagi touched Motoki's knee tenderly, sending a jolt of shock through him. "Motoki, I'm not going to break, you needn't be afraid to touch me."
Motoki's eyes darkened with desire. "You want...?"
Usagi's spontaneous show of emotion was just as much of a surprise to her as it was to Motoki. After a moment, Usagi moved her hand from his knee to beside her thigh to finally rest atop of Motoki's larger hand. "Thank you for what you've done for me."
With his free hand, Motoki cradled the side of her face as he started into her eyes gently, her smoky blue crashed with his Mediterranean blue-green depths.
Usagi felt her lips pucker in anticipation, waiting; she let herself slowly sink into the warmth of his eyes, "Motoki—I..."
The sound of her voice, throaty and husky with emotion loosened the inward leash that Motoki was fighting to hold. "Usagi, just..." He couldn't finish, he leaned in towards her as his fingers curled into the soft flesh of her neck, dipping his head, Motoki softly caught Usagi's lips between his teeth, sucking slowly, he felt her breathe a small sigh of content as she reveled in the moment of touching.
Desire flared in the pit of Usagi's stomach as their kisses turned from slow and became more demanding, more heated, as if neither of them could get enough of the other, drunk by the taste of each other.
Pulling away, Usagi stared at him, flushed and dazed, her lips swollen from his kisses. She felt his hand tighten on hers, as she stood up in a stupor. "I've really got to go..."
"Usagi," Motoki called softly, his voice rough with emotion. "Please just stay and listen to..."
Usagi couldn't, she couldn't stay; she couldn't listen. Usagi was struggling to stay afloat on a fast sinking boat. Instead of responding, and risking him persuading her to stay, she left him, blunting ignoring his pleads for her to come back.
She had to ignore him or she'd never find the strength within her to leave.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Mamoru slammed his hand on the coffee table as familiar sensations overcame him once more. It was so strange; he hadn't felt so strongly about something, at least not since...
...She had left.
Mamoru shuddered. Sometimes his ability to feel someone's aura and their feelings seemed to be more of a burden rather than a gift. If they were near, perhaps within the same city or a little further, that was close enough for Mamoru. Even then their mental waves felt like blows to his head if they were a few blocks away.
He felt as if he could simply reach out and touch her radiating essence... but how? Could it be...?
Mamoru paced back and forth, his frustration mounting with each step he took. No, it couldn't be. She'd been gone for five years already. Why return now? Mamoru suddenly stood still, his mind closing fast on a thought. But if she was back, however unlikely that it may be, then...
Mamoru rubbed his face in exhaustion before grabbing his keys and jacket. His endless stream of thoughts and assumptions were tiring him out, especially since he had no one to confide in. Telling Rei was completely out of the question; he knew that she would absolutely freak out if he gave her the slightest reason of his worry and it wasn't like he could talk to Motoki...
Lately, Motoki had been colder and more closed off towards him. There were many reasons that explained it, Mamoru was sure, but only one of those reasons intrigued him enough that Mamoru figured that paying his long-time friend, Motoki, a visit was worth a try and better than him pacing a hole in his apartment floor while trying to come up with a plausible cause for why he couldn't get the feelings of Usagi's distinct pain to leave him.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Lady Nakosha
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Another addition within the same month... its an amazing feat, don't you agree?
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ALL STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY
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Motoki had gone over yesterday morning only about a hundred times or so in his mind, and each time, he convinced himself that he did the right thing, not kissing her. She was in obvious pain, and kissing her would only fuel that pain and be giving her the idea that he was taking advantage of her and the situation, and well, frankly, that was an idea he did not want to give her.
Motoki paced in his living room, he didn't want to call her and seem like a desperate fool that couldn't stay away. He had to wait for her to call, or else he'd be cornering her, clawing for her attention.
So he would wait.
"Are you going to do that all day?" His younger sister, Elizabeth asked as she stuffed a handful of popcorn into her mouth and began munching on it.
Motoki whirled around, irritably. "I'm thinking, can't you see that?"
"The only thing I can't see is the TV!" Elizabeth complained as she pointedly looked at the television set behind him.
"You'll have the television all to yourself when I leave in an hour for work." He argued, his patience for the fifteen-year-old wearing thin. "Plus, it's my apartment so I can pace wherever I want."
"Well, I'm staying here for a week which means I'm basically living here, more or less, so move!" She reasoned, with an illogical logic, Motoki noted. She attempted to push her older brother aside, but ended up spilling half the bowl of popcorn onto the floor.
"Great job spilling the popcorn!" He rolled his eyes, why did he bother to argue with the imp? "Why don't you try to get it through your head that I pay for the rent, so I own the place. You're a guest, so you're supposed to be thankful and gracious towards me for even considering taking your sorry butt in. Now I suggest that you go to the GUESTroom and watch Nickelodeon."
"I get your point already." She stood up and slammed the bowl down onto the glass, coffee table in exasperation. "I'm fifteen, Motoki. I don't watch Nickelodeon anymore."
"Could have fooled me." He pushed her towards the door and listened to her slam the door and the sounds of MTV wail from the other room after a second of silence.
Motoki once again contemplated calling Usagi, but something physically stopped him from dialing her number.
He hadn't done anything wrong or even right with her; why feel guilt toy with him?
Mamoru.
But that guilt wasn't rational! Mamoru had given up all claims to Usagi's heart the moment he intimately touched Rei, but despite, Motoki knew better. It was just like the time he broke up with Usagi because of the dreams he had, or the time when he had made fun of her when he really was in love with her and when...
Motoki pushed the thoughts of anything relating to Mamoru to the back of his mind. Mamoru wasn't apart of the equation anymore. He had forfeited his place and now Motoki's turn to try to fit in that empty slot in Usagi's heart.
Motoki just hoped that it was cut out big enough for him to fit in.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Usagi stood in front of the two-story house and inhaled the familiar scent of blooming flowers. A rush of memories floated in Usagi's mind as she made her way up the steps and poised her hand to knock at the door.
She knocked three times with a considerable amount of pause between each one. She could hear a boyish voice yell as the sound of thunder pounded down the stairs and the door pulled wide open. Usagi stared at her brother in fascination, he had grown a few inches, his sandy brown-blondish hair had gotten darker and longer, his skin was a bit tanner, his eyes were deep brown, no longer the light-brown that she remembered... and was that an unshaven stubble?!
"Aren't you going to say hi?" She teased shyly.
Her mother came up beside him and searched his face. "Shingo, what is wrong with you? You look like you've seen a ghost--"
She didn't finish her sentence because she took one look at Usagi and took in a deep breath before her eyes rolled inside her head and she fainted right on the spot. Usagi's hand covered her mouth as she was at her mother's side blowing at her face and cradling her head gently. This definitely hadn't been one of her scenarios.
Before Usagi had time to blink, Shingo was hugging Usagi with every ounce in his being, it seemed. His figure was squeezing Usagi so tightly she was sure she would pass out from the lack of air.
"Shingo...(gasp)...you're choking me, let me go...(another gasp)...I'm just as excited as you, but...(deep breath)...I can't breathe..."
Shingo finally let her go and turned away from her so she wouldn't see that his eyes were wet with tears. Usagi's gaze softened, as she looked at her little brother... who wasn't so little anymore. "Guess I can't beat you up anymore, huh?"
He gave her a wolfish smile. "You never could beat me up in the first place, even if I was a shrimp and a foot smaller than you."
Usagi laughed. "You'd always tell on me so I couldn't beat you up without getting grounded."
"It worked, didn't it?"
Usagi groaned. "Yeah, it did. It was a very effective tactic."
They both became silent and just stared at each other, both unsure of what to say to someone they hadn't seen in nearly five years.
Shingo finally spoke. "Why'd you leave? For five years, Usagi. Five years of not knowing where you were or being able to see you once. You only gave us a letter and called us every some months, sometimes a postcard if we were lucky." He sighed. "It was just like we weren't good enough anymore, so you just picked up and left."
Usagi blinked back tears. She had expected this. These questions; the hurt. But she hadn't expected to see so much hurt in her beloved brother's eyes. But she had to make him understand! "Shingo, I—" she broke off, the way she started off her sentence... it didn't feel as though she would get her point across by begging him to understand and forgive her. "You guys meant everything to me, you still mean the world. But it had to happen; I had to leave. I'll tell you all at the right time, I promise, but right now I just can't. I just have to deal with some things then I can talk, Shingo, just give me time."
"We've given you five years." He pointed out softly.
Usagi's voice cracked at the broken-hearted sound in his voice. "I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused, but there was no other way around it, the only thing I can do is ask for forgiveness. I'm sorry that I hurt you... but I'm not sorry I left. Leaving was the best decision I made, leaving cleared my head helped me see things through a clearer perspective. I was blind and angry before, I'm still angry, but no longer blind."
Shingo nodded, although Usagi was sure he wouldn't quite grasp what she meant by her being 'blind and angry.' "How long are you staying for?"
Usagi had yet to figure that out for herself. Designers Inc said at least for six months, maybe even a year, but Usagi wasn't sure if she could handle staying that long in the one place that held both horrible and wonderful memories for her. "I'm not sure."
"I guess we'll talk about this later, right now we have help get Mom inside." Shingo looked at their awakening mother.
Usagi helped him gently lift their mother up and carried her over to the couch and laid her down carefully.
Usagi picked at the imaginary dust on her blue jeans. Her mother's eyes blinked slowly at first as she adjusted to the light and came into focus. She sat straight up, which only managed to make her headache worse. "Oooh, my head is killing me..." she moaned, but when she saw Usagi, her eyes immediately lit up, her headache forgotten. "Usagi!"
Usagi weakly smiled, overwhelmed by her mother's repeated hugs and kisses and bursts of glee and happiness. "You're back!"
She nodded, still caught in the whirlwind her mother fainting, then the heartfelt chat with Shngo... "Yes. Yes, I am."
Her mother's brightness left as quickly as it had come. Usagi had also expected this. Just not in such a warped speed. "Honey, what happened? Why did you... disappear?" Her mother looked pained by the word, as if those three syllables summed up her entire existence as a mother.
"I'm sorry, I should have put more consideration into everyone else, but everything happened so quickly that it didn't even cross my mind that I may have other people who love me care if I just fell off the face of the planet."
"Please don't leave again. At least not without telling us." She looked at Usagi adoringly. "After all, you are all grown up now, aren't you?"
Usagi shook her head. She felt so relaxed... so at home. There wasn't another feeling like it. "Yeah, I guess I am."
Her mother stood up. "Would you like some lemonade? Freshly squeezed? Would you mind... telling us what happened or at least giving us somewhere to contact you at? When you're ready, that is." Her mother added quickly, as if she was fearful that Usagi would run screaming in the opposite direction if she felt too closed in by her mother.
As if that was the reason she had left in the first place. But of course I didn't leave because of them, Usagi silently reflected. Usagi hesitated at the offer and glanced at her watch, then to the hopeful faces of her mother and her brother. It was barely past three o'clock. She had more than three hours to kill before meeting with Mina. Maybe staying for another hour or so wouldn't hurt... after all; her family did deserve an explanation, the truth no less.
Maybe it was time to start to come clean with everyone...
She despised Mamoru and Rei for lying and betraying her, but was she really any better for keeping her family in the dark for so long and lying to her friends by not giving them any sign of her existence?
Of course I'm better than those two, Usagi scoffed. I can't believe I compared myself to them, of all people.
"Yeah, Mom." Usagi smiled genuinely. "Lemonade and some overdue heart-to- heart would be nice."
Usagi decided that to be on the safe side, to reassure herself that she was indeed nothing like them—which she wasn't—she'd tell her family everything that had happened in the past five years... even the events that had sparked her eventual decision to leave.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Ami inhaled deeply as she watched the usual scene of laughter and chaos erupt around her. She was going to do it. There was not other way around telling them, Ami decided firmly. She knew she had promised on her life that she wouldn't tell, but she just had to, didn't Usagi understand that? She wasn't accustomed to keeping such huge, life-changing secrets from her friends! And not only that, more than anything, they deserved to know, they had suffered so much in the past five years that she didn't even want to try to keep this from them anymore and be apart of their prolonged suffering.
She refused to take part in this entire fiasco of secrecy! She absolutely hated it and wouldn't do it anymore!
"Guys, I have something really important to tell you." She announced, flinching at how serious her words sounded.
The other three turned towards her. Their conversations stopped immediately as they looked at Ami with confusion and curiosity. "Ami, you sound so serious." Makoto jested, trying to lighten the suddenly somber mood.
Ami opened her mouth to begin, but Mina yelped in surprise and jumped up. "Oh, shit, I've got a meeting with this Kingsley woman from Designers Inc in, like, five seconds and I've still got to get ready. She's supposedly amazing or something."
It didn't even register in Ami's mind that Mina was talking about Usagi; she was so focused on what she would say. "Ami! I've got to go now, so can you just tell us super fast?" she tapped her foot, not bothering to mask her impatience.
Ami gulped, hating the way her voice was raspy and hoarse. "Of course, yesterday I found out that..."
From the intent look on their faces and the bored expression on Mina's, Ami knew that this was neither the right time nor her place to tell them. It was Usagi's decision, as leaving had been, when to tell them and in whatever way that she would. Ami finding out had been unfortunate because now she would have to keep such brilliant news to herself.
Ami cleared her throat in an attempt to buy herself some time to think of a quick, on the spot cover-up that they would believe. "...That we should become more alert because unknown forces may be rising." She finished slowly, cringing at her fake excuse.
Mina threw her hands up in the air and to her delight, shushed her before she embarrassed herself any further. "Ami, pu-leese. Have you got amnesia? You told us that last week and we looked into it and found nothing. And I thought you were going to tell us something important." She interjected sarcastically. If only she knew, Ami thought gloomily. If only.
"Okay. I'm lame, I know. I guess I forgot. I've got a lot on my mind, after all." Ami weakly agreed. "Go already. It's obvious that you're halfway down the block as it is."
Mina shot her a thankful smile and gathered her things before hastily leaving Ami's house. Ami couldn't help but to feel guilt creep up and cast shadows of shame on her heart. She could already hear the nasty voices that proclaimed her guilty and she was doing nothing to defend herself, why plead innocence when the whispers spoke the truth?
But she realized her guilt wasn't based on keeping this secret from her friends. Ami knew that she was probably the only one who knew of Usagi's return and somehow she felt that that pulled her closer to Usagi, that Ami was sharing a secret with Usagi when no one else could.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
"OMG, aren't you Mina Charles?" An excited, high-pitched voice shrieked excitedly. "Can I please, please have your autograph?"
Mina put on a bright, broad smile and turned around. She blinked as several notepads were thrust into her face.
Mina obediently signed her name, each "i" dotted with a heart and each "a" finished with a flourish. After signing several notebooks, scraps of papers, receipts, shirts, and stomachs, Mina made her way through the crowd and breathed a sign of relief as the doors closed behind her and silence filled her ringing ears.
She took her time to relish the sudden quiet and calm atmosphere of the restaurant. "Last name... please?" A squeaky, nervous waiter asked. Mina faced him and gave him another dazzling smile, which seemed to make him lose his concentration and become even more nervous.
"Charles, Minerva Charles." She said confidently, craning her neck to see if she recognized anyone. "For two, that is."
The waiter nodded briskly before grabbing two menus and motioned for her to follow him. His cheeks were flaming and his hands were shaking as he pulled out the chair for her when the arrived at her table. "It seems that your... the person you're meeting isn't here yet. Your waiter will be here momentarily." He finished quickly, searching her face for some kind of praise or acknowledgement.
Mina nodded breezily before flipping through her menu and skimming the choices lazily. "Thank you." He stood there a moment longer than necessary before scurrying off back to the front to help other hungry customers.
Mina was beginning to regret that she had rushed here from Ami's house, worried about being late, when the woman, Serena Kingsley wasn't even here yet! Mina smiled and decided to take this opportunity to go to the bathroom and freshen up and maybe even flirt some with that semi-cute waiter who was so fidgety and anxious to please to her.
Grabbing her purse, Mina stood up and only was able to get ten steps from her table before she bumped into someone, causing them to stumble backwards in surprise. Mina glanced at the woman and was swept up in sudden nostalgia.
What the hell...? The woman looked at her quickly before she downcast her eyes and trained her gaze to the ground, causing a curtain of blond curls to tumble in her face. Mina expertly speed-walked to the bathroom, both unnerved and shaky.
Who was that woman and why was Mina acting so... so... ridiculous? She was acting like a star-struck fool that had yet to collect her wits.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Usagi stared at Mina's quickly retreating back. If her mother hadn't held her up for those ten minutes that she had, then Usagi would have been facing an interrogation from Mina instead of sitting across from her in a heavy, tension filled silence as she waited for Mina to figure out who she really was.
She had seen the flicker of emotions fly across her eyes as she tried to place where she had seen Usagi. Like Ami, it was only a matter of time before Mina and everyone else figured out that she was back.
What was she so afraid of, anyway? Why was she so terrified to let them know of her return? Usagi's brows rose, even she knew the answer to that question. Once her friends found out, Usagi would give them a day or so before one of them accidentally let it slip around Rei or Mamoru that Usagi had come back.
And Usagi wasn't sure if she was ready or fully prepared to see either one of them yet. Suddenly five years didn't seem like such a long time to be away anymore. Maybe she had come back too soon... was even her job worth all of this drama and suspense?
Usagi shook her head in disbelief at what she was getting herself into as she approached the bathroom door. Mina was in there; she knew that. Usagi had the feeling that she was trying to actually sabotage herself and have one her friends figure it out.
Unbelievable.
Mina gave her lipstick a last touch up before she was fully satisfied with her reflection. Pulling her hair back into a low ponytail, she decided against it and her fingers worked with a mind of their own as Mina realized that she was putting her hair back into its traditional half ponytail, minus the bright red bow. God, she hadn't used this hairstyle since... Usagi had left.
Only because my photographer thought that I needed a change, Mina protested silently.
Pushing the heavy door open, she recognized the woman that she had knocked into as pushed her way past her. Mina felt a wave of déjà vu as she stared at the woman's back.
The same thought lingered on her mind. Who was she?
Rubbing her eyes, she shook her head and went back to her table. She couldn't possibly be whom she was thinking. It was a one in a million chance.
But she couldn't help but to let a bubble of hope swell inside of her.
Mina stopped herself from knocking on the bathroom door and continued back to the table. She refused to set herself up for yet another letdown. She refused to break her heart all over again. Once bitten, twice shy, Mina supposed.
Mina mentally used a pin to that darned bubble that had puffed up within her.
The bubble of hope burst.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Usagi zipped her skirt up and flushed the toilet using her high-heeled shoe. Rinsing her hands, she thought about how she was going to react when Mina figured out it was she. It was bound to happen sometime, right? Usagi just hoped that it would be later, rather than sooner.
Looking at the mirror, she pretended to look shocked. "Oh, wow! You've sure changed and everything!" She said to the mirror before covering her mouth with her wet hand. Usagi groaned. She was a clothing designer and Mina was a model for God's sake. It wasn't as if Usagi had actually dropped off the face of the Earth; Usagi read the tabloids, she was updated daily by Belle on the condition of all her potential clients that would model her line.
She tried again. "Usagi? I don't know of any Usagi..." Ugh.
"Excuse me, but this is a business meeting and I don't think that this relates..." Like that would fly with Mina. Try again.
"Um, Mina, can we just keep this a secret between you and me...?" Usagi shook her head; she knew that Mina couldn't keep a secret if her life depended on it.
Sighing, Usagi dried her hands and sauntered out of the bathroom with a defeated heart, but nevertheless, a brave smile, as if she was ready to take on the world.
Which she, ironically, was anything but.
When Usagi spotted Mina at the table, waiting impatiently for her arrival, Usagi was struck with an urge to run over and hug her long-time friend. Why should she be? She hadn't seen Mina in so long, yet she was forcing herself to hide from her.
It's not the right time, remember? Her mind reminded her plaintively.
Mustering together whatever was left of her nerves; Usagi marched over to the table and hoped for the best.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
"Minako Charles?" Surprised, Mina turned around; only to be met by somewhat familiar, startling deep blue eyes. Mina's eyes traveled the rest of her face and realized that it was that same woman... again!
Why did they keep meeting? "Yes?" She rasped, her hands fiddling with her purse's strap. "Please, call me Mina."
"Serena Kingsley, expert fashion line designer at Designers INC. Serena reached out and shook her hand before seating herself across from Mina.
That's where I've seen her from, Mina reasoned. I've read about her... she's the new "it" girl in the world of fashion and designing. That's all. "Oh. That's right."
Usagi shot her a suspicious look when Mina bent over to pick up the napkin that she had dropped on the carpeted floor. She hadn't been sure if she would have been able to shake Mina's hand without her noticing the slight nervous tremble in her hands. Usagi cleared her throat. "So, we're both here to meet you to discuss your affiliation with us at Designers INC, am I correct?"
"Yep." Mina responded, breaking from her formal, business-like tone. Before she could say anymore, their waiter approached them and politely introduced himself before requesting what they wanted for drinks.
"Water is fine for me." They both said in unison. Usagi bit her lip, she knew it wasn't unusual for them to both share a preference towards water, but Usagi felt that anything... even the simplest thing would set off the bomb they were sitting on...
The waiter nodded, not fazed in the least, and hurried off to get their drinks. "Do you know what you're getting?" Mina asked, trying to make conversation. She glanced at Usagi curiously. She wasn't an expert at these meetings by no means, but shouldn't they be going over paperwork or smoothing out any questions in the contract—something to rid them of the heavy silence that hung over their heads?
"Um, not yet." Usagi answered simply, not willing to indulge in a wordy- more-than-necessary conversation. "How about you?" She added, Mina knew only for her sake.
Mina's brows rose. "Yeah, same here." She giggled half-heartedly. Usagi looked at her, inquisitive. "Guess we share a tendency to be indecisive too, huh?"
Usagi cracked a smile. "Yeah, I guess we do." But the smile disappeared off her face as quickly as it had come, as if she was doing something wrong. Mina shook her head. Usagi wasn't the only one acting odd; the entire situation felt... different. As if they had done this thousands of times before.
Maybe in a past life, Mina thought, smiling slightly at her inward joke. She snuck a peek at Usagi again, she seemed to be captivated by the selections in the menu, Mina could have sworn that with the intensity that Usagi was reading it with, she would soon start to burn holes through it.
Usagi and Mina didn't say anything for a few minutes; both of them were uncomfortable and lost in their own thoughts; trying to figure out if this entire evening was going to be bust or if one of them could rescue it before the entire evening wasted away in silence. Usagi didn't know what the problem was; she had done business arrangements over lunch a hundred times, Mina wasn't any different. Just another prospective client.
Usagi sighed. What her brain tried to convince her of sometimes still- astounded Usagi. She knew this would never work... there was too much personal involvement and plus Usagi couldn't get a word out without hesitation or worry that maybe something she would say would trigger recognition.
She knew she should have, once again, gone with her gut instinct instead of listening to her heart's pleads and her mind's supposed intellectual argument that Mina would never figure it out, she had changed too much, or she'd never figure out who Usagi was, she was, after all a bit thickheaded at times.
To both women's relief, the same waiter approached them with their waters and flipped to a new page, poised to take their orders.
Usagi glanced at the door; it's openness and freedom, away from here called to her, its wide open door appealed to Usagi's every sense... she could feel every voice inside of her, heart, mind, gut instinct combine together and chant the same mantra until she could hear nothing else:
Go, go, go...
Usagi bit her lip and inhaled deeply as she furrowed her brows together and looked at Mina, who was most probably already piecing together the pieces in her mind and on the verge of breaking the lock to her secret.
"...and can my salad have light Italian dressing on it, too? Sorry about the trouble and misunderstanding about the salad." She handed him her menu.
The waiter, who Usagi admitted was pretty good-looking, with his short, blond curly tuffs of hair, rich brown eyes, winked at Minako flirtatiously. "Ah, for someone as beautiful as you, I..."
Usagi tuned the two of them out and smiled, the waiter's looks and obvious mellow and playful nature reminded her so much of Motoki.
Motoki. Usagi chewed on her inside cheek as the image of Motoki popped into her mind. God, she could use a friendly face... someone who wouldn't grill her with questions or judge her by her past decisions. "And you? Miss?" Usagi snapped out of her reverie when she realized that the waiter and Mina were both staring at her.
Usagi closed the menu and set it softly on the table. She really wanted to see Motoki, but she couldn't possibly be in two places at once... so there was only one solution to this entire debacle. In a way, Usagi rationed, I'm saving both of us the misery of having to sit through an entire awkward dinner...
She glanced between the two of them, questioning looks hovering in their eyes. "Actually," she began, with a sheepish laugh, "I have to be on my out." She nodded her head in the direction of the door.
Mina's mouth opened, but quickly closed when Usagi stood up. "It was lovely meeting you, Minako, I hope you decide to stay with our company, and I'm sorry I can't stay any longer to discuss the terms or whatever, but I've really got to go. I've just remembered that I forgot all about this important thing back... at the—office that requires my immediate attention." She made a vague wave, as if she was helpless to the ways of life.
"Um, okay, well, I guess I'll call your assistant or something to schedule another meeting." Mina stammered, caught off guard by Usagi's sudden departure.
The waiter stood back some, as if gauging to see if it was safe yet to speak. "Shall I...?"
"Oh, don't worry about dinner, Mina, just put it on my tab." She started to shrug her blazer on. "Consider it my apology for leaving on such short notice."
With those last words, Usagi swept up and left the restaurant, leaving a confused and slightly flustered Minako behind.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
The moment Usagi walked through the automatic glass doors, she was greeted by the familiar sight of Motoki wiping down the counters, utterly focused on his job at hand.
It reminded her too much of when she had been fourteen and crushing on Motoki. She let a ghost of a smile play at her lips. Ha. Not much had changed since then; the only thing being that she wasn't wrapped up in Mamoru or being badgered twenty-four-seven by her mother about her failing grades.
"Motoki." She breathed as she approached him, a faint blush staining her cheeks.
To Usagi's much surprise, he looked up. "Usagi!" he beamed, dropped the rag on the counter. He pressed the inside of his palms against the counter that he had probably tenaciously been wiping at for the past hour or so and gave her a bright smile, his eyes crinkled and sparkled when he spoke. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"Yeah, I didn't expect to be here, either." Usagi sat herself on the stool that she had sat on so many times before, idly sipping her milkshake, daydreaming about everything to nothing. "I was at a meeting with... Mina and I completely freaked." Usagi left out the fact that coming here, to see him, had been apart of the force that had propelled her to leave.
That would be admitting... that would hold meanings that she had yet to reveal...
"Oh? Are you okay?" He stroked her arm in concern, but even Usagi could see how his eyes darkened with emotions. He quickly retracted his hand, he was unsure of whether he should touch her or not. "Did Mina... know anything?"
Usagi shrugged tiredly. "I don't know if she knew anything, but I wasn't willing to stay around to find out."
"You've been through a lot during these past few days. Are you sure you can handle all of this stress on top of work?" He asked her, worriedly. "You've got that line to still do, right?"
Usagi groaned as she slammed her head against the countertop. "I don't know anymore, Motoki. It seems that matters concerning my heart are going to have to take a backseat as my job seems to becoming more and more stressful these days."
Motoki nodded, but his eyes were clouded with an emotion that Usagi couldn't quite read. "Motoki, what's wrong?"
Motoki looked at her with the look of a five-year-old caught sneaking a cookie. "Usagi, you need to know something."
Usagi's breath quickened as she searched her mind for what he possibly needed to tell her. There was only one thing that she could think of that was plausible enough...
"Mamoru and Rei..." he paused, making sure that Usagi understood the depth of what he was going to tell her, "are getting married. Next month."
Usagi felt the blood rush her held all at once. This was definitely not one of her scenarios. "Oh my God, I think that I've just had a stroke... or I'm going to faint..."
Motoki gently led her to the backroom where there was a ratty looking couch with its upholstery ripped up and the seams coming undone on the sides and sat her down on it. Usagi barely registered that she was in a different room, much less that Motoki had handed her a steamy cup of hot chocolate.
"Compliments of the chef." He weakly joked, trying to help the color return to her waxen cheeks.
Usagi stared into the cup, fascinated by its liquid contents as she avoided eye contact with him. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
Motoki scratched the back of his head vigorously. "Well, you had so much on your mind and I don't know... I just couldn't hurt you like that." He stared at her with such intensity that Usagi had to look away. "I knew that it would hurt your heart would break if I told you because I know that despite everything that's happened you do still care."
Usagi softened at his words. How was it that he could read her so well and say the exact right thing? "Yeah, I guess." Usagi mumbled.
Motoki gave her a lopsided smile that melted Usagi's insides. "So you're not mad?"
Being angry with Motoki was one thing; staying mad was another. Usagi sighed in defeat. She was fighting a lost battle. "No, I guess not." She narrowed her eyes and stuck her hand out towards him. His eyes glanced from her hand to her face in confusion. "Promise me that whenever you find out something important, you'll tell me."
Motoki wavered. "But..."
"No buts in this Motoki. I need to know everything that happens. I don't want you to spare my feelings, however horrible it may be." She looked away. "It's really my only connection with them."
Motoki reached for her, but hesitated and pulled back. He wanted to just hold her, just the chance to touch her, but she wasn't his to touch... she wasn't ready for love yet...
But what if she is? His mind whispered, conjuring images and fantasies that sent surges of arousal throughout him. What if she wants you and is waiting to make sure you love her the same? She must be cautious after what happened with Mamoru...
Motoki tried shaking himself of the thoughts that haunted him with fantasies that weren't possible... there was just too much pain, even five years later. It was too complicated. He would wait, he promised himself. He would wait.
Usagi touched Motoki's knee tenderly, sending a jolt of shock through him. "Motoki, I'm not going to break, you needn't be afraid to touch me."
Motoki's eyes darkened with desire. "You want...?"
Usagi's spontaneous show of emotion was just as much of a surprise to her as it was to Motoki. After a moment, Usagi moved her hand from his knee to beside her thigh to finally rest atop of Motoki's larger hand. "Thank you for what you've done for me."
With his free hand, Motoki cradled the side of her face as he started into her eyes gently, her smoky blue crashed with his Mediterranean blue-green depths.
Usagi felt her lips pucker in anticipation, waiting; she let herself slowly sink into the warmth of his eyes, "Motoki—I..."
The sound of her voice, throaty and husky with emotion loosened the inward leash that Motoki was fighting to hold. "Usagi, just..." He couldn't finish, he leaned in towards her as his fingers curled into the soft flesh of her neck, dipping his head, Motoki softly caught Usagi's lips between his teeth, sucking slowly, he felt her breathe a small sigh of content as she reveled in the moment of touching.
Desire flared in the pit of Usagi's stomach as their kisses turned from slow and became more demanding, more heated, as if neither of them could get enough of the other, drunk by the taste of each other.
Pulling away, Usagi stared at him, flushed and dazed, her lips swollen from his kisses. She felt his hand tighten on hers, as she stood up in a stupor. "I've really got to go..."
"Usagi," Motoki called softly, his voice rough with emotion. "Please just stay and listen to..."
Usagi couldn't, she couldn't stay; she couldn't listen. Usagi was struggling to stay afloat on a fast sinking boat. Instead of responding, and risking him persuading her to stay, she left him, blunting ignoring his pleads for her to come back.
She had to ignore him or she'd never find the strength within her to leave.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Mamoru slammed his hand on the coffee table as familiar sensations overcame him once more. It was so strange; he hadn't felt so strongly about something, at least not since...
...She had left.
Mamoru shuddered. Sometimes his ability to feel someone's aura and their feelings seemed to be more of a burden rather than a gift. If they were near, perhaps within the same city or a little further, that was close enough for Mamoru. Even then their mental waves felt like blows to his head if they were a few blocks away.
He felt as if he could simply reach out and touch her radiating essence... but how? Could it be...?
Mamoru paced back and forth, his frustration mounting with each step he took. No, it couldn't be. She'd been gone for five years already. Why return now? Mamoru suddenly stood still, his mind closing fast on a thought. But if she was back, however unlikely that it may be, then...
Mamoru rubbed his face in exhaustion before grabbing his keys and jacket. His endless stream of thoughts and assumptions were tiring him out, especially since he had no one to confide in. Telling Rei was completely out of the question; he knew that she would absolutely freak out if he gave her the slightest reason of his worry and it wasn't like he could talk to Motoki...
Lately, Motoki had been colder and more closed off towards him. There were many reasons that explained it, Mamoru was sure, but only one of those reasons intrigued him enough that Mamoru figured that paying his long-time friend, Motoki, a visit was worth a try and better than him pacing a hole in his apartment floor while trying to come up with a plausible cause for why he couldn't get the feelings of Usagi's distinct pain to leave him.
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