She's Back... - Chapter Four
Lady Nakosha
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Ah, as you can see this version of "She's Back" is going to be much shorter because I'm actually going to put substance in my story and finish them properly before uploading it to the site.
But nevertheless, enjoy and perhaps even review, okay? It's such a pleasure to read everyone's comments, both good and bad. :)
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ALL STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY
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Mina glanced at Ami who had turned around and stared at Mina with shock and disbelief.
Mina could read her expression easily. How could Mina—of all people—figure out Usagi's true identity and on top of that, actually keep it a secret?
Mina smiled self-righteously as she deliberately took her time to hold each of their eyes, making sure that they knew she was serious. She wasn't as dumb as everyone pinned her to be.
Rei shot her a confused look. "What the hell—who isn't—would someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?"
Mina shook her blond mass of hair. "I'm not telling you if you can't figure it out for yourself, Rei."
Ami gave her a look of relief and admiration, thank you, her eyes shone brightly. Mina nodded imperceptibly; they had more than enough to talk about.
Mamoru's forehead scrunched up in deep thought as his mind fought to put together Mina's strange underlying meanings...
"I think that I've overstayed my time, so we'll be on our way." Ami said curtly before grabbing Mina's hand and dragging her towards the nearest booth.
Ami grasped Mina's shoulders roughly; she was barely able to contain her excitement. "Spill. What do you know? How do you know this?"
Mina smiled graciously. "After that weird meeting with 'Serena' for my modeling career and you calling and inviting me to come here, I was feeling pretty shitty. I was really down about Usagi leaving... it was like it was slowly killing me by taking its toll on my mind. But as I was thinking about her, things just started to click together and before I knew it, I was on my way here, psyched to tell you guys!"
Ami nodded, alarmed. "Did you tell anyone because Usagi asked me—"
"No, Ami let me finish." Mina's expression softened. "I overheard you talking to Rei and Mamoru and before I talked to anyone else, I had to talk to you. Plus, I couldn't skip out on an opportunity to get a shot at those two." She gave Rei and Mamoru a dirty look that Ami was confident they deserved.
Ami squeezed her shoulders tightly and brought Mina closer and enveloped her in a hug. They both were grinning like fools, their hearts feeling much lighter and their moods happier than it had been in years.
"She's back." Mina whispered into Ami's ear excitedly.
Ami hugged her harder, her eyes filling with tears of joy. "She is."
Mina pulled back slightly and looked at Ami. "How long have you known for?"
Ami coughed as two spots appeared on her cheeks. "Before you had that meeting with her about your modeling career."
"And you didn't tell us?" she hissed incredulously.
Ami gulped, she had expected Mina to react like this. It was in her nature to be overly dramatic. "I was going to. God, I was so close, but Usagi had begged me not to tell anyone—not even you guys. I've never kept anything from you guys before and it was more than grating on my conscience and stress levels when I had to make that decision to lie and come up with that lame cover-up I used."
Ami looked at Mina, hopefully. "You're not angry, are you? You understand what I had to do, don't you? Surely you understand that my loyalties will always be with Usagi and I will support and respect her wishes no matter what?"
Mina sighed, but the accusing look in her eyes had disappeared. "Yeah, I understand completely and you know that."
"Thank you for not getting angry with me."
Mina looked at Ami sharply, her eyes flashing with determination and undaunted hope. "Ami, you have to tell me one thing, however."
"Yes?"
"Where is Usagi?"
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Usagi kicked at a pebble. What would have happened if Makoto had caught up with her? How long until Rei figured out who she was?
Tears began spilling onto her cheeks. She couldn't bear the raw pain and deny the unmistakable feeling of pleasure from seeing Mamoru's achingly beautiful face. When his fingers had brushed against hers, she couldn't have helped but to enjoy the way his fingertips swept over her hand and seemed to linger longer than necessary.
Usagi squeezed her eyes shut and forced the thoughts to leave her mind. Why couldn't Mamoru leave her alone with his goddamn hands and his way of being able to summon feelings that she learned over the years to pack away and eventually, hopefully forget?
Why did he have to invade her thoughts along with her entire life? Hadn't he done enough damage to her? Usagi moaned as she stepped into yet another puddle of stress. How could she even think of thinking about Mamoru when she still had Motoki tugging at strings of her heart?
Usagi shook her head. It was wrong juggling two men like this, like some sort of siren, which she so obviously was anything but, she shouldn't be toying with Motoki's feelings so carelessly because she had yet to figure out what her own feelings were—
In a mad frenzy, Usagi lashed out and struck the wall next to her with her foot, only succeeding in jamming her foot. In an addition to having a major case of heartache... she also has a throbbing foot.
She didn't have a problem with two men because Mamoru was indefinitely out of her life—she never wanted him back!—and how could she call quelling her non-existent desire for him "juggling two me" anyhow?
Poor Motoki, Usagi mused, he must be so confused and fed up with my flaky nature lately...
"Why is everything going so wrong in my life?" Usagi shrieked to the empty skies above. She didn't expect an answer, but who knew... everything else that she had least expected to ever happen happened, so apparently nothing was impossible these days.
Wasn't that what her mother told her wisely once? Never say never...
"Am I one of those things that has gone wrong?" A deep, male voice asked her, a tinge of amusement laced in his words.
Widening her eyes, Usagi spun around and breathed a sigh that was a combination of relief and horror. She was stupid, she had come here to speak to him... well to let him speak to her... obviously she would have to face him some time soon and let him on the big secret of what the hell was going on!
Motoki raised a brow in delight. "So? Am I? Or did I go so terribly wrong that you can't even tell me."
Usagi smiled. "No, I think you are one of the things that's actually gone right."
He waggled his brows. "Now don't even think of sparing my feelings because I've seen what not knowing can do to you. I've been experiencing it first hand." He added, this time more softly and seriously.
Usagi let out a sharp hiss of air. So he was going to get straight to his point like that, she should have known that Motoki, her Motoki, wouldn't circle around the issue. "I—I'm sorry, I—I don't mean to lead you on or anything like that, I'm just trying to figure out, like you, what the hell is going on..."
The instant Motoki touched her, a flare of heat shot up his arm, and he saw an echo of it flash in her eyes, a mixture of arousal and uncertainty. He leaned back quickly; neither of them was ready for this... for this passion, for this love...
Motoki became painfully conscious of how a permanent blush stained her cheeks and how her fingers nervously trembled when they touched his skin again. Just by the light whisper of her fingers grazing his skin, his stomach had clenched and his body had gone into a heated overdrive. "Usagi... are you...?" He growled, on the brink of losing the remainder of his self- control. There was only so long that he could contain himself, there was only so long before he would have to give in...
"Motoki," Usagi said huskily, "I'm sure."
Her shaky breath caressed his lips as she pulled him down; his mouth was soft on hers, a surprising gentle brush, Usagi felt herself melt into his arms shivers of pleasure bubbled inside of her.
He broke off from her mouth, burying his face into her hair as if he were battling himself for control. As she stared at him, Usagi was stunned by the stark, dark need on his face.
Motoki paused, soaking in her beauty. Her lips were swollen and red from his kiss, her breath was coming out in soft beats, her cheeks were flushed. He watched her lick her lips, parched and bruised from his kisses, her unrestrained passion had ignited something within him, something that he was fast losing to.
"I... Usagi, we can't..." He wanted to push her away, tell her this was wrong, they were moving too fast, he wanted her to tell him she didn't want him, yet at the same time, he was sure he would shrivel up and die if she did...
"Motoki, I..."
"No, Usagi, we can't..." He tried to protest her arousal; that she was trying to seduce him, he tried to protest that she was playing unfairly and she had an advantage over him.
Involuntarily she took a step closer to him and, in a blur of motion, he took her in his arms, his breath came out in quick bursts, caught between her will and his, his body began to quake in conflict. Her soft contours fit into his hard angles seamlessly and a wave of lust burned trough him. God, he wanted—he had to give in...
His lips came down on hers in a kiss that was hard and full of demand, he felt Usagi's hands fumbled with the strap as she pulled it down far enough that it rested on her waist, revealing her bare body, letting the moonlight bathe her with it's unearthly glow. Motoki sucked in through his teeth roughly, how he wanted to touch her so badly, but she was unattainable by the likes of him, however long it may have been, she still belonged to Mamoru, who claimed to give up claim on her heart years ago, but it was clear that he still held it in his tight fist...
"Motoki..." Usagi's voice broke from beneath his lips; her face was wet with tears. Her heart was so afraid of another to touch it... but this was Motoki, he wouldn't hurt her... and it wasn't even her heart, she was so unsure, especially after seeing Mamoru and feeling how her heart still managed to pick up it's pace and speed at the sight of him, sending sparks throughout her... it wasn't right, but then again, who was she to judge and say what was right and what wasn't?
Throwing caution into the wind, Motoki crushed his lips against hers, letting his inner animalistic side roar inside of him with triumph as he strived to satisfy the need for her that had lodged itself inside of him. His lips came down on hers hard and she met them with equal force as she grabbed onto his shoulders, pulling herself against him, while his arms came around her.
Her bare body was pressed against his hard one, the fabric between them served as a barrier that Motoki was more than willing to break down.
Ripping his shirt open, they stumbled over to the grove of comforting shadows and together in a tumult of passion, angst, and torment...
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Makoto stuffed a mass of the warm pretzel in her mouth to keep from screaming out in complete boredom and in annoyance towards Ami, who had persuaded her to come in the first place after much pleading and begging, and Mina because they were hugging each other and giving each other looks as if they had discovered the cure to cancer.
Why can't they come over here and celebrate whatever they're so excited about with me? Makoto wondered angrily. And along with that have some fun as well. What a friend!
And that's why they came here in the first place, wasn't it? For them to have so much fun and to eat so much food that they'd have a spontaneous combustion?
Makoto stared at them, puzzled. Why were they acting so happy anyway? What was there left to be so giddy about? Nothing, Makoto shook her head bitterly, there was nothing left.
Well, she wasn't about to stand around here, moping and waiting for Ami to remember she even existed. She had better things to do... like getting away from this idiot-magnet to go somewhere where people who weren't so damn happy hung out.
Makoto knew she was acting childish, but she pointedly swept past Ami and Minako and headed in the direction towards the parking lot, huffing the entire time about how flaky Ami seemed to becoming.
Festivals, Makoto bristled, who needs them?
Makoto shoved her hands into her pockets as she neared the area where she had parked her car. Her thoughts returned to her, however annoying they may be, they were the only companions she had at the moment. What was the point of Ami suddenly deciding, completely out of the blue, that tackling her was the best plan of action to solve whatever problem that she apparently had? And what was up with those pretzels they were selling there? They were like rubber and tasted like...
"Oh... Motoki... please..."
Makoto's heart nearly stopped for two reasons, first, where had she heard that voice from before and why had it struck such a nerve within her, and secondly, why was she groaning his name in out with that tone you only used when you were having—
Oh my God. Oh. My. God, Makoto thought suddenly. That girl and Motoki were having sex! At a festival... behind a church, no less...
She rolled her eyes as she reminded herself of Mina or even... Usagi.
Makoto stopped walking and stood in her place for a moment, the only sounds she heard were the pounding of her heart and the crickets singing their mournful songs.
Had she just imagined the whole thing? "Oh God! I—I..."
Makoto jerked around and narrowed her eyes to slits. Where was that voice coming from? Not that she wanted to walk on in... on anything—and see anything, but that voice... it sent ice through her veins, but at the same time warmed her all over.
It was throaty and loving at the same time. It soothed Makoto... just like Usagi's voice had so long ago...
Whoa. Where had that come from? She hadn't thought about Usagi's characteristics in such an open and unconscious way in such a long time. Usually when her mind fell on anything remotely relating to her long-lost friend, she pulled all her mental energy together towards hating on Rei and Mamoru, blaming them for every single burnt pie, late rent fee, and any other mishap that had happened to her in the last five years. It may have been illogical and unfair, but what was fair about them being selfish and stupid enough to drive away their leader, their friend?
Makoto ran her hand over her face a few times as she tried to regain control over her thoughts before they quickly became out of hand. "Motoki... I think that there's someone..." The girlish stammer trailed off, her breathlessness holding more invitation than rebuff.
Makoto nervously plucked at her silver necklace that had been given to her by Usagi only six years ago. She always touched it for comfort, but tonight it wasn't working... it felt cold and rough against her skin, not soft and reassuring as it usually was.
"Makoto?"
Makoto whirled around and felt her heart pounding in her ears. For the hundredth time, who was she? How did she know Makoto's name and who, exactly, did she think she was, appearing out of nowhere and then having sex with Motoki in the back of a place that regarded having premarital sex as evil and a sin?
Makoto's eyes traveled over the girl. Pale blond hair that seemed natural enough, but you usually never saw that shade on anyone older than the age of three, though, she wasn't short, but Motoki had a good few inches over her. Her eyes were a deep sapphire that held more wisdom of life than she had ever seen in anyone else before, her smile was innocent and sugary, yet somehow a mischievousness played at her face and balanced out the sweetness of it.
Makoto shook her head of the descriptions. She couldn't possibly be—it was impossible; she was a fool to even let the thought cross her mind. Usagi was gone. Makoto had taught herself that years ago. She had taught herself to not turn every time the door opened or to rush to the phone and hope to hear her voice. She had taught herself to not let her hopes ride then only to have them crash back down to the ground.
"I—I—" Makoto was at loss for words, what should she say? "How do you know my name? How did you and Motoki meet?" Makoto almost slapped herself upside-down on the head, maybe she could get the one answer that's been burning more than a hole through her head. "Who, by the way, the hell are you?"
Usagi tightened her hands at fists at her sides. Why had she given herself away like that? Usagi had spotted Makoto's familiar brunette hair and her name had just escaped from between Usagi's lips without her consent. So, really, it wasn't her fault. In a way.
Usagi was known to look on the bright side of things, however. Maybe Makoto wouldn't realize whom she was, Usagi thought hopefully. Ha. Yeah right.
Makoto blinked back her tears. "..." She couldn't understand her sudden urge to hug this girl and begin to sob uncontrollably. Her irrational thinking was beginning to grate on her and as a result she would have a fucking headache that she was sure would take days to get rid of.
Wait. Sobbing uncontrollably? What?
Usagi bit her lip. Makoto knew whom she was deep inside, but she was forcing herself to not believe it after years of wisely teaching herself to not believe things so easily. "Makoto, I know... it's only..."
Makoto hand reached out and gingerly touched Usagi's shoulder, her eyes never leaving Usagi's. No, it couldn't be, Makoto scolded herself, but the proof was right before her eyes. She had living proof that Makoto knew would send all her doubts and uncertainty to hell.
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Ami watched Rei and Mamoru nod at each other and follow in Makoto's wake. "Hey, did you see the way they shared some kind of conspiracy signal and went after Makoto?"
Mina shrugged. "They're probably leaving since they haven't any friends here anyway." She grinned then let out a soft, evil cackle. "Maybe they've finally realized that we don't like them."
Ami paled slightly as her mind rewound and replayed the past hour or so and who had gone in that direction. She was probably being silly, like Mina implied, right? "Yeah, but didn't Usagi, Motoki, and Makoto all go in that direction, though?"
Mina looked at her. "Yes, they did. But that's because that's the parking lot and they were all probably going to their cars."
Mina paled slightly as she saw Ami's angle. "If everyone is going that way, then something is bound to happen."
Ami grabbed Mina's hand and began dragging her towards the parking lot. "More like something will be revealed if we don't go over there and somehow, I don't know, stop it."
Mina snorted. "Like you did with your brilliant plan of tackling Makoto?"
Ami blushed, but didn't let her remark slow her. "No, Mina, I was only acting out of spur-of-the-moment and besides, at the time, tackling her had seemed to be the best option and only solution. It worked, didn't it? Makoto was diverted and Usagi got away."
"Yeah, she escaped one nightmare right into a bigger one." Mina sighed. "A full frontal confrontation."
"I hope not." Ami replied softly, "Because Usagi may not be able to handle it, so she may opt to leave again."
Mina didn't say anything, she sped ahead of Ami and broke into a sprint.
A few seconds later, Ami followed suit and soon both of them were flying towards the parking lot, their worry mounting with each step they took.
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Makoto needed to make sure that Usagi was real. Proof or not, Makoto has had a history that goes way back with something that seems so right always ending so wrongly.
"I-I-I'm probably crazy, but..." Makoto stammered as she blushed furiously. She knew she wasn't out of her mind because she knew what sex-moans sounded like, but she couldn't help but feeling some self-doubt at the moment, but could anyone blame her? "...were you having sex with Motoki?"
Usagi smiled faintly, amused at how casual and simple the question seemed. Although, she knew better than that, she knew that them making love was anything but simple or casual. "Yes."
Makoto smiled, unsure how to respond to such a straightforward statement to such a complicated question. Was she used to having such casual sex or something? Was this an everyday thing; making love behind any old building as long as it served its purpose to shield them from the prying and nosy eyes of whatever neighborhood she happened to be residing in? "Oh."
"Yeah..."
Silence.
Usagi threw her hands up into the air, suddenly consumed by the idiocy of the entire situation. She wasn't acting like the mature adult she pegged to be, she was instead acting like a child too scared to face her mistakes and her decisions. God, she just wanted all of this—all of the sneaking around and secrets to end. And it would. Right here, right now. "Dammit, Lord only knows that I'm so sick of this drama-queen, hide-and-seek bullshit!"
Makoto's jaw dropped and hit the floor at the sudden burst from the younger and much smaller woman. "What is the point of hiding? Please, Makoto, if you would, help me understand my own moronic thought process. I mean, what was I thinking? Did I actually believe for a second that any of this would actually work? Of course not! Coming back to Tokyo—around my neighborhood, Tokyo—was the first and only sign I needed to tell me that this plan of mine was going to be a complete and utter failure."
Makoto opened and closed her mouth as the facts began to sink in. Usagi sighed miserably. "I say that I've grown and matured, that I've changed, which I have, for the better, but here I am, a pathetic mess five years later. Oh what lows I've succumbed to."
Makoto, for a moment, let herself bathe in the delicious knowledge of knowing that her Usagi, her long-lost friend that Makoto had grieved for and missed so much, had finally come back to them. Makoto should have known that Usagi wouldn't have stayed away forever, no matter the reasons to explain her return.
Makoto flung her arms around Usagi and began sobbing uncontrollably.
"Oh—a hug—I can handle that." Usagi said, as she hugged Makoto and ran her fingers over the brunette's messy tangle of a so-called ponytail.
How she had missed Makoto's subtle way of exploding into tears and turning into a blubbering emotional puddle. "I can't believe you're here! I can't believe it!" Makoto kept saying over and over, until she could barely speak between her sobs without hiccupping.
"I know... it's totally... I know..." Usagi couldn't even begin to think beyond those two words of, "I know."
"Usagi, please promise me you won't leave again without any of us knowing again." Makoto begged her. "If you do... go away again, leave us a note or some kind of sign that you'll contact us." Her face darkened. "If you leave again because they hurt you, then take us with you or at least tell us why so we can beat the shit out of them, okay?"
Usagi couldn't help but to laugh. Leave it to Makoto to somehow incorporate violence into a tearful reunion.
"What the—Makoto what is going on here?"
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Motoki laid in the grass, letting his mind wander back to the past hour. How differently it had ended from what he imagined.
He had dreamt of maybe a kiss, but instead he got laid...
Everything had gone by so quickly it seemed. Motoki could remember clearly how Usagi's head was thrown back in throes of passion, those buffed nails gripping and digging into his back as her body shuddered in release, her mouth letting out hoarse words of need.
There wasn't a single word in any language that could possibly give their experience together any justice. The only thing that he was sure of was that it had been amazing, but even that seemed to not do making love with Usagi any impartiality at all.
It just had been so much better than great. Motoki had honestly thought that by them having sex, his desire and sexual appetite for the blond beauty would have been fulfilled to some sort of extent, but he had been wrong. Oh, how wrong he had been because now, he only craved her more, which was completely absurd, as he couldn't see how his body could manage to want her even more than it already did.
But no matter. He couldn't... he wouldn't argue with the nature of the human being's hormones.
The only thing that he was sure of was that he wanted to do it again so badly that it was beginning to not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally hurt.
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Makoto spun around in alarm. "Rei... Mamoru... what a surprise." She remarked, trying to level her voice off.
"Well, we"—Rei looked at Usagi's appearance and hugged Mamoru's arm tighter— "were just leaving because the festival was becoming a total bore."
Usagi sniggered, Rei needn't be afraid that Usagi would steal her precious Mamo-chan from her. He wasn't hers to begin with, but Usagi had no interest in ever taking back such scum. "I have a feeling that it's about to get a bit more exciting. So what are you doing? With her?" She added, flicking her gaze towards Usagi.
"Nothing. I ran into her and I was wrapping my arms around her to—err—check her for any bodily damages." Makoto touched Usagi's back a few times. "Well. Everything looks okay here," Makoto smiled what she hoped to be something within the range of convincing.
Rei almost laughed at her friend's terrible lying capabilities. Her urge to laugh faded, however, when she realized that she wasn't one to talk... "Oh really. How convenient that you are specialized in spine alignment procedures, Makoto; and here I was, thinking that you went to culinary school. I guess your—friend—was very lucky to have you to bump into her."
"That shows just how much you know about anything relating to me." Makoto spat, causing Rei to flinch at her former friend's remark.
Just then Ami and Mina came running up towards them and nearly collided into Mamoru, who was oddly silent.
"Hey... Makoto... and Us..." Mina's eyes lit at the sight of her friend.
Ami sharply jabbed Mina in the ribs before she could finish her sentence.
Rei shot Ami and Mina a dark look before she gazed at the blond-headed girl suspiciously. What was with this girl?
Then the facts began piecing together. The messy appearance... the embarrassed looks... the horrible cover-ups... the way they knew each other... the dark, secluded spot...
Rei was certain she knew what was going on here! How could she had been so blind and not have seen it earlier? She knew that she and her friends had their differences and their relationship may have been on the rocks and really strenuous, but how could they have not at least told her?
"Makoto!" Rei yelled accusingly. "How long have you known about... this for? How long have you been keeping this little 'secret' for?"
Rei saw Ami physically stiffen from the corner of her eye. Interesting. Something fishy was definitely going on here. And it seemed that Rei's suspicions and theories were, as usual, right on target.
Makoto jutted her chin out defensively, refusing to sell out to Rei, of all people. "I don't have to explain myself to you or anyone else." She looked at Mamoru, who was busy stealing glances at Usagi.
Denial. The first step, she supposed. Of course she was defensive and angry, Rei had figured out her so-called "secret" that everyone was trying so hard to keep from Rei and Mamoru, who were apparently the only people left on the planet who didn't know.
"You thought I'd never find out? It was only a matter of time, Makoto!"
"Oh, like you know anything." Makoto said, rolling her eyes, trying to call Rei's bluff. Although, Makoto had the sinking feeling, along with everyone else, that Rei wasn't bluffing and she knew exactly what she was talking about.
"Who else knows? Am I the only person who doesn't know about this—this little finding?"
"No one else knows, just us." Usagi said, finally speaking up. "And I didn't want... I wasn't planning to announce it to the world, so thank you, Rei, for your help."
Rei rubbed her temples and pointed to Usagi, ignoring her last statement. Everything was going at such a warped speed... everything was coming apart right before her eyes! "And what about her... is she, you know, like you?"
Makoto blinked. "Like... huh?"
Rei blushed lightly. "You know..." Rei made a vague noise and movement towards Usagi as if that would explain what she meant.
"I have no idea what you are trying to say or what you mean." Makoto looked at Rei blankly. As did everyone else was, had Rei finally lost her mind?
Rei sighed, as if it pained her to say those words and to be the first one among their group to speak them aloud. "You know, is she a lesbian, like you?"
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"Excuse me?" Usagi squawked. "You think that we're"—she jabbed a finger at herself, then Makoto—"are homosexuals?"
Ami searched Rei's face for any signs of amusement or any indications that she was kidding around with them. She wasn't, of course. Rei hadn't failed to amaze Ami with her way to completely turn something around and upside- down.
"What else would you be? The facts are all there to see, you just have to piece them together."
Makoto couldn't help it; she burst out laughing.
Rei gave her a withering look. She didn't find the situation very humorous at all. "Come on, Makoto, this isn't very funny. I mean, if you really are a lesbian, then how come you never told anyone about it? And what about her? If she's straight, then why would she be here with you, like this?"
"Because I'm not a lesbian." Usagi said flatly. Could Rei get any dumber? "Rei, don't you know yet...?"
Ami began to reprimand Usagi, but she bit her tongue. If Usagi wanted to throw gasoline into the fire, then that was her business.
"Oh God, what more is there to know?"
"Who I am, of course."
Rei wasn't willing to play at Usagi's little identity game. "Does it honestly make a difference to me or anyone else here who you are?"
Usagi paused. "I'm..." She faltered, if Rei couldn't see the truth herself, then Usagi was definitely not going to participate in speeding the pace up. "Oh, never mind, just forget it." Usagi gave Rei a weak, lighthearted grin that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Usagi." He said the word so quietly, no louder than her breath. Usagi turned to look at him sharply, his eyes hovered over hers, piercing her with blue flames.
"What did you call me?" Usagi whispered hoarsely, she was biting the inside of her cheek so hard she felt the metallic taste of blood seep into her mouth.
"Usagi!" His voice grew louder with each syllable. "You're Usagi!"
Usagi wanted to charge off that second, but her feet seemed to be rooted to the ground and her eyes seemed to be frozen on Mamoru's darker ones that were filled with sudden recognition.
Rei gaped at the both of them; her eyes were wide and glassy, disbelief, relief, and anxiousness pooled in her violet depths. "Usagi?" She uttered; Rei stepped closer to hug her—she hoped—friend, but Usagi coldly stepped out of her friend's reach. "Don't think I haven't forgotten what you've done to me, Rei."
"I haven't." Rei mumbled, her cheeks wet with tears. She couldn't believe that Usagi, her clumsy, cheerful, bubbly Usagi, had come back after all these years. She had begun to lose sight of the hope of seeing her again. "I couldn't."
But even her confession was only partially true, though, even the revulsion and guilt that had bubbled in her throat like bile after seeing Usagi's pain had begun to waste away after enough time had passed.
After Mamoru had proposed to her... Rei had let the guilt and sadness that had been building up inside of her... go, for Mamoru's and her own sake. She had piled all her feelings about Usagi's mysterious disappearance into a corner of her mind and left it there while she moved on with her life.
Isn't that what a person was suppose to do? Wasn't a person, after facing a heart-wrenching situation, supposed to try to get on with life, since it does tend to not stop at her every problematic issue in her life, and put them in the past where they belong?
But Usagi coming back had only broken her vow to herself and reopened the box that she had carefully sealed all her feelings away into and let everything ooze out into the open and do exactly what she's hoped they would do if they ever were released from that small pocket in her heart: consume Rei in every conceivable way. But maybe she deserved it, maybe she deserved having her life, the life she had created based off of Usagi's misery and heartbreak, devoured by her need for Usagi's forgiveness and how it would release her from the prison of her feelings that she's been decaying in for the past five years.
Rei almost smiled at the irony, however. At this point, Rei was sure that Usagi would like nothing more than to see Rei rot away in her own prison that Rei had undoubtedly formed for herself.
Usagi watched as emotions flickered through Rei's eyes, she could easily read Rei's thoughts, she felt as if she was surfing through the channels in Rei's mind and every single bad show that you hate to watch was on. Rei wanted Usagi's forgiveness; she had picked that much up after seeing Rei for about five seconds. Rei thought that by Usagi forgiving her, she would be free of guilt and any hard feelings and they could somehow go back to being buddy-buddy, BFF.
Although, she could feel herself almost gravitate towards Rei as her inner voice urged her to soothe Rei, telling her that Rei had suffered enough, that they were friends and friends were supposed to work through problems together. But this was Rei, dammit! She had slept with Usagi's soul mate behind her back and now, had the gall to even marry him when it should have been Usagi being the bride-to-be! Usagi could feel no sympathy for her; Rei had brought it onto herself. If she had just kept her dirty hands off of Usagi's former man, then no one would have suffered and Usagi wouldn't have had to miss five years worth of events with her friends.
She could never forgive Rei for betraying her so cruelly and so selfishly. Why had Rei done it? The question still haunted Usagi; Usagi still asked herself that question whenever her thoughts wandered and landed on her past with Mamoru and Rei.
Not that pulled the blame entirely off of Mamoru, however. He had been so careless with her feelings; he seemed to shrug off her love like a disposable rain-poncho and crushed them single-handedly without so much of a second thought. Had he tired of her and the way she had clung to him? Or had he forgotten the tiny detail that maybe having sex—there was no possible way that they had made anything remotely near to love—would hurt Usagi and ultimately drive her away and to such extreme measures such as running away or committing suicide since they were, after all, destined to be together...
Wouldn't seeing their future, what they could have shared have stopped Mamoru from putting his slimy hands all over Rei? Wouldn't the thought of completely destroying Usagi put a stop to the secret affair that they were having? Wouldn't ruining Crystal Tokyo's future have some sort of affect on them?
Usagi broke away from Mamoru's intense gaze and focused on the patches of grass flattened beneath her foot. That's how she felt, Usagi thought. Trampled all over and crushed beneath Mamoru and Rei's unforgiving feet. What would become of Crystal Tokyo now? What had become of the city, it's inhabitants, and most of all, Chibi-Usa?
The thought of even ruling a planet, much less with Mamoru was not only unthinkable; it was downright absurd and impossible. How could they if Mamoru was going to have side-relationships along the way, how could they if Usagi outright refused to? Starting up a relationship, platonic or not, was anything short of a miracle. How could they rule a planet, not to mention the universe together if he was going to be unfaithful and cheat on Usagi with every opportunity that presented itself? If Mamoru could stray from their relationship once, then he was bound to do it again, it was pure logic, simple and straight.
How could she ever trust him again? How could she even befriend him with all these feelings floating around within her? A hot, searing anger inflated within her as she thought of Rei's past endeavors to apologize to Usagi only an hour after she had found their charade they had been playing out. "Good." Usagi said as her cheeks darkened with her underlying resentment.
"Usagi," Rei began softly, "I never got the chance, but I just wanted to apologize for—"
"You didn't seem very sorry five years ago." Usagi cut in icily as her cheeks flushed to a deep red. "You didn't seem very sorry a few days ago when you announced to the whole world about your wedding to Mamoru."
Ami and Minako watched silently as their leader struggled to be strong and not cry. They should intervene and put a stop to this open show of pain, but something was telling them that Usagi had to do this and they shouldn't interfere...
"I've been miserable this whole time! I haven't let myself truly indulge in happiness since you left!"
Usagi snorted. "And I'm supposed to feel bad about that? Especially after you seemed perfectly happy with holding Mamoru's hand only a few minutes ago."
"I—I—wasn't..."
"Don't you dare lie to me." Usagi growled. Makoto began inching closer to Usagi, prepared to grab her if Usagi made an attack towards the couple. It wouldn't be totally out of character for her to do it. "Don't you dare lie to me again! I didn't come back here for your B-rated lies. I could have stayed in America for that." Usagi sputtered angrily.
Rei's lower chin began trembling slightly. "But—I... I—you don't—"
Usagi pressed her forefingers to her eyelids and released them with a flourish. "I'm done, Rei, don't you get that? I'm sick of this crap. I never want to see you or Mamoru again because at the very sight of you guys I start to feel sick to my stomach." Usagi contemplated becoming the drama- queen of the century, but decided she'd had enough for one night. "I want to be able to come back to Tokyo and visit my friends properly, not through secret rendezvous. I shouldn't have to hide like a freaking vigilante who's afraid to be spotted by... you two."
Rei watched, tearfully, as Usagi spun around and stalked off with Makoto and Ami hot on her heels.
Mina lingered behind. "Rei, I want to sympathize with you, but then why this is happening just comes back and all thoughts of helping you feel better disappears." Mina shook her head disappointedly. "This is you and Mamoru's fault, you know. You guys brought this onto yourself, unfortunately."
Rei opened her mouth to speak, but she snapped it closed. Rei knew nothing coherent or anything that would make anything better would come out of it.
Mamoru still hadn't said a word since his last outburst. Rei looked at him pleadingly, but she knew her looks wouldn't coax Mamoru out of his shell anytime soon. The only person Rei knew who could persuade Mamoru to do nearly anything was...
...Usagi.
Why did everything have to revolve around her? "Doesn't anyone think how we're feeling about this?" Rei yelled.
Mina's vision blurred with red. "Excuse me, but Mamoru was the one who cheated on Usagi!" She narrowed her eyes at Rei. "You have no right to even ask for thoughtfulness on your side! I can't believe you would even think about yourself in a time like this when Usagi—"
Makoto appeared from behind Mina and gently griped her by the arms before she could lunge at Rei and wrap her slender fingers around Rei's graceful neck.
Mina began crying as Makoto led her away from the lonesome couple. "Don't you care about anyone else but yourself? How could you two have sex without feeling guilty and Usagi's face flashing through your minds every time Rei groans or Mamoru murmurs, 'I love you?' How... could you..." Mina's voice eventually grew softer as she and Makoto put as much distance between them as they possibly could.
Rei broke down in Mamoru's limp arms, sobbing, as she let herself pretend that her wedding would be wonderful despite her friend's cold attitude towards her and that Mamoru was actually comforting her with his half- hearted consolances.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Lady Nakosha
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Ah, as you can see this version of "She's Back" is going to be much shorter because I'm actually going to put substance in my story and finish them properly before uploading it to the site.
But nevertheless, enjoy and perhaps even review, okay? It's such a pleasure to read everyone's comments, both good and bad. :)
--- --- --- --- --- ---
ALL STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Mina glanced at Ami who had turned around and stared at Mina with shock and disbelief.
Mina could read her expression easily. How could Mina—of all people—figure out Usagi's true identity and on top of that, actually keep it a secret?
Mina smiled self-righteously as she deliberately took her time to hold each of their eyes, making sure that they knew she was serious. She wasn't as dumb as everyone pinned her to be.
Rei shot her a confused look. "What the hell—who isn't—would someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?"
Mina shook her blond mass of hair. "I'm not telling you if you can't figure it out for yourself, Rei."
Ami gave her a look of relief and admiration, thank you, her eyes shone brightly. Mina nodded imperceptibly; they had more than enough to talk about.
Mamoru's forehead scrunched up in deep thought as his mind fought to put together Mina's strange underlying meanings...
"I think that I've overstayed my time, so we'll be on our way." Ami said curtly before grabbing Mina's hand and dragging her towards the nearest booth.
Ami grasped Mina's shoulders roughly; she was barely able to contain her excitement. "Spill. What do you know? How do you know this?"
Mina smiled graciously. "After that weird meeting with 'Serena' for my modeling career and you calling and inviting me to come here, I was feeling pretty shitty. I was really down about Usagi leaving... it was like it was slowly killing me by taking its toll on my mind. But as I was thinking about her, things just started to click together and before I knew it, I was on my way here, psyched to tell you guys!"
Ami nodded, alarmed. "Did you tell anyone because Usagi asked me—"
"No, Ami let me finish." Mina's expression softened. "I overheard you talking to Rei and Mamoru and before I talked to anyone else, I had to talk to you. Plus, I couldn't skip out on an opportunity to get a shot at those two." She gave Rei and Mamoru a dirty look that Ami was confident they deserved.
Ami squeezed her shoulders tightly and brought Mina closer and enveloped her in a hug. They both were grinning like fools, their hearts feeling much lighter and their moods happier than it had been in years.
"She's back." Mina whispered into Ami's ear excitedly.
Ami hugged her harder, her eyes filling with tears of joy. "She is."
Mina pulled back slightly and looked at Ami. "How long have you known for?"
Ami coughed as two spots appeared on her cheeks. "Before you had that meeting with her about your modeling career."
"And you didn't tell us?" she hissed incredulously.
Ami gulped, she had expected Mina to react like this. It was in her nature to be overly dramatic. "I was going to. God, I was so close, but Usagi had begged me not to tell anyone—not even you guys. I've never kept anything from you guys before and it was more than grating on my conscience and stress levels when I had to make that decision to lie and come up with that lame cover-up I used."
Ami looked at Mina, hopefully. "You're not angry, are you? You understand what I had to do, don't you? Surely you understand that my loyalties will always be with Usagi and I will support and respect her wishes no matter what?"
Mina sighed, but the accusing look in her eyes had disappeared. "Yeah, I understand completely and you know that."
"Thank you for not getting angry with me."
Mina looked at Ami sharply, her eyes flashing with determination and undaunted hope. "Ami, you have to tell me one thing, however."
"Yes?"
"Where is Usagi?"
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Usagi kicked at a pebble. What would have happened if Makoto had caught up with her? How long until Rei figured out who she was?
Tears began spilling onto her cheeks. She couldn't bear the raw pain and deny the unmistakable feeling of pleasure from seeing Mamoru's achingly beautiful face. When his fingers had brushed against hers, she couldn't have helped but to enjoy the way his fingertips swept over her hand and seemed to linger longer than necessary.
Usagi squeezed her eyes shut and forced the thoughts to leave her mind. Why couldn't Mamoru leave her alone with his goddamn hands and his way of being able to summon feelings that she learned over the years to pack away and eventually, hopefully forget?
Why did he have to invade her thoughts along with her entire life? Hadn't he done enough damage to her? Usagi moaned as she stepped into yet another puddle of stress. How could she even think of thinking about Mamoru when she still had Motoki tugging at strings of her heart?
Usagi shook her head. It was wrong juggling two men like this, like some sort of siren, which she so obviously was anything but, she shouldn't be toying with Motoki's feelings so carelessly because she had yet to figure out what her own feelings were—
In a mad frenzy, Usagi lashed out and struck the wall next to her with her foot, only succeeding in jamming her foot. In an addition to having a major case of heartache... she also has a throbbing foot.
She didn't have a problem with two men because Mamoru was indefinitely out of her life—she never wanted him back!—and how could she call quelling her non-existent desire for him "juggling two me" anyhow?
Poor Motoki, Usagi mused, he must be so confused and fed up with my flaky nature lately...
"Why is everything going so wrong in my life?" Usagi shrieked to the empty skies above. She didn't expect an answer, but who knew... everything else that she had least expected to ever happen happened, so apparently nothing was impossible these days.
Wasn't that what her mother told her wisely once? Never say never...
"Am I one of those things that has gone wrong?" A deep, male voice asked her, a tinge of amusement laced in his words.
Widening her eyes, Usagi spun around and breathed a sigh that was a combination of relief and horror. She was stupid, she had come here to speak to him... well to let him speak to her... obviously she would have to face him some time soon and let him on the big secret of what the hell was going on!
Motoki raised a brow in delight. "So? Am I? Or did I go so terribly wrong that you can't even tell me."
Usagi smiled. "No, I think you are one of the things that's actually gone right."
He waggled his brows. "Now don't even think of sparing my feelings because I've seen what not knowing can do to you. I've been experiencing it first hand." He added, this time more softly and seriously.
Usagi let out a sharp hiss of air. So he was going to get straight to his point like that, she should have known that Motoki, her Motoki, wouldn't circle around the issue. "I—I'm sorry, I—I don't mean to lead you on or anything like that, I'm just trying to figure out, like you, what the hell is going on..."
The instant Motoki touched her, a flare of heat shot up his arm, and he saw an echo of it flash in her eyes, a mixture of arousal and uncertainty. He leaned back quickly; neither of them was ready for this... for this passion, for this love...
Motoki became painfully conscious of how a permanent blush stained her cheeks and how her fingers nervously trembled when they touched his skin again. Just by the light whisper of her fingers grazing his skin, his stomach had clenched and his body had gone into a heated overdrive. "Usagi... are you...?" He growled, on the brink of losing the remainder of his self- control. There was only so long that he could contain himself, there was only so long before he would have to give in...
"Motoki," Usagi said huskily, "I'm sure."
Her shaky breath caressed his lips as she pulled him down; his mouth was soft on hers, a surprising gentle brush, Usagi felt herself melt into his arms shivers of pleasure bubbled inside of her.
He broke off from her mouth, burying his face into her hair as if he were battling himself for control. As she stared at him, Usagi was stunned by the stark, dark need on his face.
Motoki paused, soaking in her beauty. Her lips were swollen and red from his kiss, her breath was coming out in soft beats, her cheeks were flushed. He watched her lick her lips, parched and bruised from his kisses, her unrestrained passion had ignited something within him, something that he was fast losing to.
"I... Usagi, we can't..." He wanted to push her away, tell her this was wrong, they were moving too fast, he wanted her to tell him she didn't want him, yet at the same time, he was sure he would shrivel up and die if she did...
"Motoki, I..."
"No, Usagi, we can't..." He tried to protest her arousal; that she was trying to seduce him, he tried to protest that she was playing unfairly and she had an advantage over him.
Involuntarily she took a step closer to him and, in a blur of motion, he took her in his arms, his breath came out in quick bursts, caught between her will and his, his body began to quake in conflict. Her soft contours fit into his hard angles seamlessly and a wave of lust burned trough him. God, he wanted—he had to give in...
His lips came down on hers in a kiss that was hard and full of demand, he felt Usagi's hands fumbled with the strap as she pulled it down far enough that it rested on her waist, revealing her bare body, letting the moonlight bathe her with it's unearthly glow. Motoki sucked in through his teeth roughly, how he wanted to touch her so badly, but she was unattainable by the likes of him, however long it may have been, she still belonged to Mamoru, who claimed to give up claim on her heart years ago, but it was clear that he still held it in his tight fist...
"Motoki..." Usagi's voice broke from beneath his lips; her face was wet with tears. Her heart was so afraid of another to touch it... but this was Motoki, he wouldn't hurt her... and it wasn't even her heart, she was so unsure, especially after seeing Mamoru and feeling how her heart still managed to pick up it's pace and speed at the sight of him, sending sparks throughout her... it wasn't right, but then again, who was she to judge and say what was right and what wasn't?
Throwing caution into the wind, Motoki crushed his lips against hers, letting his inner animalistic side roar inside of him with triumph as he strived to satisfy the need for her that had lodged itself inside of him. His lips came down on hers hard and she met them with equal force as she grabbed onto his shoulders, pulling herself against him, while his arms came around her.
Her bare body was pressed against his hard one, the fabric between them served as a barrier that Motoki was more than willing to break down.
Ripping his shirt open, they stumbled over to the grove of comforting shadows and together in a tumult of passion, angst, and torment...
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Makoto stuffed a mass of the warm pretzel in her mouth to keep from screaming out in complete boredom and in annoyance towards Ami, who had persuaded her to come in the first place after much pleading and begging, and Mina because they were hugging each other and giving each other looks as if they had discovered the cure to cancer.
Why can't they come over here and celebrate whatever they're so excited about with me? Makoto wondered angrily. And along with that have some fun as well. What a friend!
And that's why they came here in the first place, wasn't it? For them to have so much fun and to eat so much food that they'd have a spontaneous combustion?
Makoto stared at them, puzzled. Why were they acting so happy anyway? What was there left to be so giddy about? Nothing, Makoto shook her head bitterly, there was nothing left.
Well, she wasn't about to stand around here, moping and waiting for Ami to remember she even existed. She had better things to do... like getting away from this idiot-magnet to go somewhere where people who weren't so damn happy hung out.
Makoto knew she was acting childish, but she pointedly swept past Ami and Minako and headed in the direction towards the parking lot, huffing the entire time about how flaky Ami seemed to becoming.
Festivals, Makoto bristled, who needs them?
Makoto shoved her hands into her pockets as she neared the area where she had parked her car. Her thoughts returned to her, however annoying they may be, they were the only companions she had at the moment. What was the point of Ami suddenly deciding, completely out of the blue, that tackling her was the best plan of action to solve whatever problem that she apparently had? And what was up with those pretzels they were selling there? They were like rubber and tasted like...
"Oh... Motoki... please..."
Makoto's heart nearly stopped for two reasons, first, where had she heard that voice from before and why had it struck such a nerve within her, and secondly, why was she groaning his name in out with that tone you only used when you were having—
Oh my God. Oh. My. God, Makoto thought suddenly. That girl and Motoki were having sex! At a festival... behind a church, no less...
She rolled her eyes as she reminded herself of Mina or even... Usagi.
Makoto stopped walking and stood in her place for a moment, the only sounds she heard were the pounding of her heart and the crickets singing their mournful songs.
Had she just imagined the whole thing? "Oh God! I—I..."
Makoto jerked around and narrowed her eyes to slits. Where was that voice coming from? Not that she wanted to walk on in... on anything—and see anything, but that voice... it sent ice through her veins, but at the same time warmed her all over.
It was throaty and loving at the same time. It soothed Makoto... just like Usagi's voice had so long ago...
Whoa. Where had that come from? She hadn't thought about Usagi's characteristics in such an open and unconscious way in such a long time. Usually when her mind fell on anything remotely relating to her long-lost friend, she pulled all her mental energy together towards hating on Rei and Mamoru, blaming them for every single burnt pie, late rent fee, and any other mishap that had happened to her in the last five years. It may have been illogical and unfair, but what was fair about them being selfish and stupid enough to drive away their leader, their friend?
Makoto ran her hand over her face a few times as she tried to regain control over her thoughts before they quickly became out of hand. "Motoki... I think that there's someone..." The girlish stammer trailed off, her breathlessness holding more invitation than rebuff.
Makoto nervously plucked at her silver necklace that had been given to her by Usagi only six years ago. She always touched it for comfort, but tonight it wasn't working... it felt cold and rough against her skin, not soft and reassuring as it usually was.
"Makoto?"
Makoto whirled around and felt her heart pounding in her ears. For the hundredth time, who was she? How did she know Makoto's name and who, exactly, did she think she was, appearing out of nowhere and then having sex with Motoki in the back of a place that regarded having premarital sex as evil and a sin?
Makoto's eyes traveled over the girl. Pale blond hair that seemed natural enough, but you usually never saw that shade on anyone older than the age of three, though, she wasn't short, but Motoki had a good few inches over her. Her eyes were a deep sapphire that held more wisdom of life than she had ever seen in anyone else before, her smile was innocent and sugary, yet somehow a mischievousness played at her face and balanced out the sweetness of it.
Makoto shook her head of the descriptions. She couldn't possibly be—it was impossible; she was a fool to even let the thought cross her mind. Usagi was gone. Makoto had taught herself that years ago. She had taught herself to not turn every time the door opened or to rush to the phone and hope to hear her voice. She had taught herself to not let her hopes ride then only to have them crash back down to the ground.
"I—I—" Makoto was at loss for words, what should she say? "How do you know my name? How did you and Motoki meet?" Makoto almost slapped herself upside-down on the head, maybe she could get the one answer that's been burning more than a hole through her head. "Who, by the way, the hell are you?"
Usagi tightened her hands at fists at her sides. Why had she given herself away like that? Usagi had spotted Makoto's familiar brunette hair and her name had just escaped from between Usagi's lips without her consent. So, really, it wasn't her fault. In a way.
Usagi was known to look on the bright side of things, however. Maybe Makoto wouldn't realize whom she was, Usagi thought hopefully. Ha. Yeah right.
Makoto blinked back her tears. "..." She couldn't understand her sudden urge to hug this girl and begin to sob uncontrollably. Her irrational thinking was beginning to grate on her and as a result she would have a fucking headache that she was sure would take days to get rid of.
Wait. Sobbing uncontrollably? What?
Usagi bit her lip. Makoto knew whom she was deep inside, but she was forcing herself to not believe it after years of wisely teaching herself to not believe things so easily. "Makoto, I know... it's only..."
Makoto hand reached out and gingerly touched Usagi's shoulder, her eyes never leaving Usagi's. No, it couldn't be, Makoto scolded herself, but the proof was right before her eyes. She had living proof that Makoto knew would send all her doubts and uncertainty to hell.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Ami watched Rei and Mamoru nod at each other and follow in Makoto's wake. "Hey, did you see the way they shared some kind of conspiracy signal and went after Makoto?"
Mina shrugged. "They're probably leaving since they haven't any friends here anyway." She grinned then let out a soft, evil cackle. "Maybe they've finally realized that we don't like them."
Ami paled slightly as her mind rewound and replayed the past hour or so and who had gone in that direction. She was probably being silly, like Mina implied, right? "Yeah, but didn't Usagi, Motoki, and Makoto all go in that direction, though?"
Mina looked at her. "Yes, they did. But that's because that's the parking lot and they were all probably going to their cars."
Mina paled slightly as she saw Ami's angle. "If everyone is going that way, then something is bound to happen."
Ami grabbed Mina's hand and began dragging her towards the parking lot. "More like something will be revealed if we don't go over there and somehow, I don't know, stop it."
Mina snorted. "Like you did with your brilliant plan of tackling Makoto?"
Ami blushed, but didn't let her remark slow her. "No, Mina, I was only acting out of spur-of-the-moment and besides, at the time, tackling her had seemed to be the best option and only solution. It worked, didn't it? Makoto was diverted and Usagi got away."
"Yeah, she escaped one nightmare right into a bigger one." Mina sighed. "A full frontal confrontation."
"I hope not." Ami replied softly, "Because Usagi may not be able to handle it, so she may opt to leave again."
Mina didn't say anything, she sped ahead of Ami and broke into a sprint.
A few seconds later, Ami followed suit and soon both of them were flying towards the parking lot, their worry mounting with each step they took.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Makoto needed to make sure that Usagi was real. Proof or not, Makoto has had a history that goes way back with something that seems so right always ending so wrongly.
"I-I-I'm probably crazy, but..." Makoto stammered as she blushed furiously. She knew she wasn't out of her mind because she knew what sex-moans sounded like, but she couldn't help but feeling some self-doubt at the moment, but could anyone blame her? "...were you having sex with Motoki?"
Usagi smiled faintly, amused at how casual and simple the question seemed. Although, she knew better than that, she knew that them making love was anything but simple or casual. "Yes."
Makoto smiled, unsure how to respond to such a straightforward statement to such a complicated question. Was she used to having such casual sex or something? Was this an everyday thing; making love behind any old building as long as it served its purpose to shield them from the prying and nosy eyes of whatever neighborhood she happened to be residing in? "Oh."
"Yeah..."
Silence.
Usagi threw her hands up into the air, suddenly consumed by the idiocy of the entire situation. She wasn't acting like the mature adult she pegged to be, she was instead acting like a child too scared to face her mistakes and her decisions. God, she just wanted all of this—all of the sneaking around and secrets to end. And it would. Right here, right now. "Dammit, Lord only knows that I'm so sick of this drama-queen, hide-and-seek bullshit!"
Makoto's jaw dropped and hit the floor at the sudden burst from the younger and much smaller woman. "What is the point of hiding? Please, Makoto, if you would, help me understand my own moronic thought process. I mean, what was I thinking? Did I actually believe for a second that any of this would actually work? Of course not! Coming back to Tokyo—around my neighborhood, Tokyo—was the first and only sign I needed to tell me that this plan of mine was going to be a complete and utter failure."
Makoto opened and closed her mouth as the facts began to sink in. Usagi sighed miserably. "I say that I've grown and matured, that I've changed, which I have, for the better, but here I am, a pathetic mess five years later. Oh what lows I've succumbed to."
Makoto, for a moment, let herself bathe in the delicious knowledge of knowing that her Usagi, her long-lost friend that Makoto had grieved for and missed so much, had finally come back to them. Makoto should have known that Usagi wouldn't have stayed away forever, no matter the reasons to explain her return.
Makoto flung her arms around Usagi and began sobbing uncontrollably.
"Oh—a hug—I can handle that." Usagi said, as she hugged Makoto and ran her fingers over the brunette's messy tangle of a so-called ponytail.
How she had missed Makoto's subtle way of exploding into tears and turning into a blubbering emotional puddle. "I can't believe you're here! I can't believe it!" Makoto kept saying over and over, until she could barely speak between her sobs without hiccupping.
"I know... it's totally... I know..." Usagi couldn't even begin to think beyond those two words of, "I know."
"Usagi, please promise me you won't leave again without any of us knowing again." Makoto begged her. "If you do... go away again, leave us a note or some kind of sign that you'll contact us." Her face darkened. "If you leave again because they hurt you, then take us with you or at least tell us why so we can beat the shit out of them, okay?"
Usagi couldn't help but to laugh. Leave it to Makoto to somehow incorporate violence into a tearful reunion.
"What the—Makoto what is going on here?"
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Motoki laid in the grass, letting his mind wander back to the past hour. How differently it had ended from what he imagined.
He had dreamt of maybe a kiss, but instead he got laid...
Everything had gone by so quickly it seemed. Motoki could remember clearly how Usagi's head was thrown back in throes of passion, those buffed nails gripping and digging into his back as her body shuddered in release, her mouth letting out hoarse words of need.
There wasn't a single word in any language that could possibly give their experience together any justice. The only thing that he was sure of was that it had been amazing, but even that seemed to not do making love with Usagi any impartiality at all.
It just had been so much better than great. Motoki had honestly thought that by them having sex, his desire and sexual appetite for the blond beauty would have been fulfilled to some sort of extent, but he had been wrong. Oh, how wrong he had been because now, he only craved her more, which was completely absurd, as he couldn't see how his body could manage to want her even more than it already did.
But no matter. He couldn't... he wouldn't argue with the nature of the human being's hormones.
The only thing that he was sure of was that he wanted to do it again so badly that it was beginning to not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally hurt.
--- --- --- --- --- ---
Makoto spun around in alarm. "Rei... Mamoru... what a surprise." She remarked, trying to level her voice off.
"Well, we"—Rei looked at Usagi's appearance and hugged Mamoru's arm tighter— "were just leaving because the festival was becoming a total bore."
Usagi sniggered, Rei needn't be afraid that Usagi would steal her precious Mamo-chan from her. He wasn't hers to begin with, but Usagi had no interest in ever taking back such scum. "I have a feeling that it's about to get a bit more exciting. So what are you doing? With her?" She added, flicking her gaze towards Usagi.
"Nothing. I ran into her and I was wrapping my arms around her to—err—check her for any bodily damages." Makoto touched Usagi's back a few times. "Well. Everything looks okay here," Makoto smiled what she hoped to be something within the range of convincing.
Rei almost laughed at her friend's terrible lying capabilities. Her urge to laugh faded, however, when she realized that she wasn't one to talk... "Oh really. How convenient that you are specialized in spine alignment procedures, Makoto; and here I was, thinking that you went to culinary school. I guess your—friend—was very lucky to have you to bump into her."
"That shows just how much you know about anything relating to me." Makoto spat, causing Rei to flinch at her former friend's remark.
Just then Ami and Mina came running up towards them and nearly collided into Mamoru, who was oddly silent.
"Hey... Makoto... and Us..." Mina's eyes lit at the sight of her friend.
Ami sharply jabbed Mina in the ribs before she could finish her sentence.
Rei shot Ami and Mina a dark look before she gazed at the blond-headed girl suspiciously. What was with this girl?
Then the facts began piecing together. The messy appearance... the embarrassed looks... the horrible cover-ups... the way they knew each other... the dark, secluded spot...
Rei was certain she knew what was going on here! How could she had been so blind and not have seen it earlier? She knew that she and her friends had their differences and their relationship may have been on the rocks and really strenuous, but how could they have not at least told her?
"Makoto!" Rei yelled accusingly. "How long have you known about... this for? How long have you been keeping this little 'secret' for?"
Rei saw Ami physically stiffen from the corner of her eye. Interesting. Something fishy was definitely going on here. And it seemed that Rei's suspicions and theories were, as usual, right on target.
Makoto jutted her chin out defensively, refusing to sell out to Rei, of all people. "I don't have to explain myself to you or anyone else." She looked at Mamoru, who was busy stealing glances at Usagi.
Denial. The first step, she supposed. Of course she was defensive and angry, Rei had figured out her so-called "secret" that everyone was trying so hard to keep from Rei and Mamoru, who were apparently the only people left on the planet who didn't know.
"You thought I'd never find out? It was only a matter of time, Makoto!"
"Oh, like you know anything." Makoto said, rolling her eyes, trying to call Rei's bluff. Although, Makoto had the sinking feeling, along with everyone else, that Rei wasn't bluffing and she knew exactly what she was talking about.
"Who else knows? Am I the only person who doesn't know about this—this little finding?"
"No one else knows, just us." Usagi said, finally speaking up. "And I didn't want... I wasn't planning to announce it to the world, so thank you, Rei, for your help."
Rei rubbed her temples and pointed to Usagi, ignoring her last statement. Everything was going at such a warped speed... everything was coming apart right before her eyes! "And what about her... is she, you know, like you?"
Makoto blinked. "Like... huh?"
Rei blushed lightly. "You know..." Rei made a vague noise and movement towards Usagi as if that would explain what she meant.
"I have no idea what you are trying to say or what you mean." Makoto looked at Rei blankly. As did everyone else was, had Rei finally lost her mind?
Rei sighed, as if it pained her to say those words and to be the first one among their group to speak them aloud. "You know, is she a lesbian, like you?"
--- --- --- --- --- ---
"Excuse me?" Usagi squawked. "You think that we're"—she jabbed a finger at herself, then Makoto—"are homosexuals?"
Ami searched Rei's face for any signs of amusement or any indications that she was kidding around with them. She wasn't, of course. Rei hadn't failed to amaze Ami with her way to completely turn something around and upside- down.
"What else would you be? The facts are all there to see, you just have to piece them together."
Makoto couldn't help it; she burst out laughing.
Rei gave her a withering look. She didn't find the situation very humorous at all. "Come on, Makoto, this isn't very funny. I mean, if you really are a lesbian, then how come you never told anyone about it? And what about her? If she's straight, then why would she be here with you, like this?"
"Because I'm not a lesbian." Usagi said flatly. Could Rei get any dumber? "Rei, don't you know yet...?"
Ami began to reprimand Usagi, but she bit her tongue. If Usagi wanted to throw gasoline into the fire, then that was her business.
"Oh God, what more is there to know?"
"Who I am, of course."
Rei wasn't willing to play at Usagi's little identity game. "Does it honestly make a difference to me or anyone else here who you are?"
Usagi paused. "I'm..." She faltered, if Rei couldn't see the truth herself, then Usagi was definitely not going to participate in speeding the pace up. "Oh, never mind, just forget it." Usagi gave Rei a weak, lighthearted grin that didn't quite reach her eyes.
"Usagi." He said the word so quietly, no louder than her breath. Usagi turned to look at him sharply, his eyes hovered over hers, piercing her with blue flames.
"What did you call me?" Usagi whispered hoarsely, she was biting the inside of her cheek so hard she felt the metallic taste of blood seep into her mouth.
"Usagi!" His voice grew louder with each syllable. "You're Usagi!"
Usagi wanted to charge off that second, but her feet seemed to be rooted to the ground and her eyes seemed to be frozen on Mamoru's darker ones that were filled with sudden recognition.
Rei gaped at the both of them; her eyes were wide and glassy, disbelief, relief, and anxiousness pooled in her violet depths. "Usagi?" She uttered; Rei stepped closer to hug her—she hoped—friend, but Usagi coldly stepped out of her friend's reach. "Don't think I haven't forgotten what you've done to me, Rei."
"I haven't." Rei mumbled, her cheeks wet with tears. She couldn't believe that Usagi, her clumsy, cheerful, bubbly Usagi, had come back after all these years. She had begun to lose sight of the hope of seeing her again. "I couldn't."
But even her confession was only partially true, though, even the revulsion and guilt that had bubbled in her throat like bile after seeing Usagi's pain had begun to waste away after enough time had passed.
After Mamoru had proposed to her... Rei had let the guilt and sadness that had been building up inside of her... go, for Mamoru's and her own sake. She had piled all her feelings about Usagi's mysterious disappearance into a corner of her mind and left it there while she moved on with her life.
Isn't that what a person was suppose to do? Wasn't a person, after facing a heart-wrenching situation, supposed to try to get on with life, since it does tend to not stop at her every problematic issue in her life, and put them in the past where they belong?
But Usagi coming back had only broken her vow to herself and reopened the box that she had carefully sealed all her feelings away into and let everything ooze out into the open and do exactly what she's hoped they would do if they ever were released from that small pocket in her heart: consume Rei in every conceivable way. But maybe she deserved it, maybe she deserved having her life, the life she had created based off of Usagi's misery and heartbreak, devoured by her need for Usagi's forgiveness and how it would release her from the prison of her feelings that she's been decaying in for the past five years.
Rei almost smiled at the irony, however. At this point, Rei was sure that Usagi would like nothing more than to see Rei rot away in her own prison that Rei had undoubtedly formed for herself.
Usagi watched as emotions flickered through Rei's eyes, she could easily read Rei's thoughts, she felt as if she was surfing through the channels in Rei's mind and every single bad show that you hate to watch was on. Rei wanted Usagi's forgiveness; she had picked that much up after seeing Rei for about five seconds. Rei thought that by Usagi forgiving her, she would be free of guilt and any hard feelings and they could somehow go back to being buddy-buddy, BFF.
Although, she could feel herself almost gravitate towards Rei as her inner voice urged her to soothe Rei, telling her that Rei had suffered enough, that they were friends and friends were supposed to work through problems together. But this was Rei, dammit! She had slept with Usagi's soul mate behind her back and now, had the gall to even marry him when it should have been Usagi being the bride-to-be! Usagi could feel no sympathy for her; Rei had brought it onto herself. If she had just kept her dirty hands off of Usagi's former man, then no one would have suffered and Usagi wouldn't have had to miss five years worth of events with her friends.
She could never forgive Rei for betraying her so cruelly and so selfishly. Why had Rei done it? The question still haunted Usagi; Usagi still asked herself that question whenever her thoughts wandered and landed on her past with Mamoru and Rei.
Not that pulled the blame entirely off of Mamoru, however. He had been so careless with her feelings; he seemed to shrug off her love like a disposable rain-poncho and crushed them single-handedly without so much of a second thought. Had he tired of her and the way she had clung to him? Or had he forgotten the tiny detail that maybe having sex—there was no possible way that they had made anything remotely near to love—would hurt Usagi and ultimately drive her away and to such extreme measures such as running away or committing suicide since they were, after all, destined to be together...
Wouldn't seeing their future, what they could have shared have stopped Mamoru from putting his slimy hands all over Rei? Wouldn't the thought of completely destroying Usagi put a stop to the secret affair that they were having? Wouldn't ruining Crystal Tokyo's future have some sort of affect on them?
Usagi broke away from Mamoru's intense gaze and focused on the patches of grass flattened beneath her foot. That's how she felt, Usagi thought. Trampled all over and crushed beneath Mamoru and Rei's unforgiving feet. What would become of Crystal Tokyo now? What had become of the city, it's inhabitants, and most of all, Chibi-Usa?
The thought of even ruling a planet, much less with Mamoru was not only unthinkable; it was downright absurd and impossible. How could they if Mamoru was going to have side-relationships along the way, how could they if Usagi outright refused to? Starting up a relationship, platonic or not, was anything short of a miracle. How could they rule a planet, not to mention the universe together if he was going to be unfaithful and cheat on Usagi with every opportunity that presented itself? If Mamoru could stray from their relationship once, then he was bound to do it again, it was pure logic, simple and straight.
How could she ever trust him again? How could she even befriend him with all these feelings floating around within her? A hot, searing anger inflated within her as she thought of Rei's past endeavors to apologize to Usagi only an hour after she had found their charade they had been playing out. "Good." Usagi said as her cheeks darkened with her underlying resentment.
"Usagi," Rei began softly, "I never got the chance, but I just wanted to apologize for—"
"You didn't seem very sorry five years ago." Usagi cut in icily as her cheeks flushed to a deep red. "You didn't seem very sorry a few days ago when you announced to the whole world about your wedding to Mamoru."
Ami and Minako watched silently as their leader struggled to be strong and not cry. They should intervene and put a stop to this open show of pain, but something was telling them that Usagi had to do this and they shouldn't interfere...
"I've been miserable this whole time! I haven't let myself truly indulge in happiness since you left!"
Usagi snorted. "And I'm supposed to feel bad about that? Especially after you seemed perfectly happy with holding Mamoru's hand only a few minutes ago."
"I—I—wasn't..."
"Don't you dare lie to me." Usagi growled. Makoto began inching closer to Usagi, prepared to grab her if Usagi made an attack towards the couple. It wouldn't be totally out of character for her to do it. "Don't you dare lie to me again! I didn't come back here for your B-rated lies. I could have stayed in America for that." Usagi sputtered angrily.
Rei's lower chin began trembling slightly. "But—I... I—you don't—"
Usagi pressed her forefingers to her eyelids and released them with a flourish. "I'm done, Rei, don't you get that? I'm sick of this crap. I never want to see you or Mamoru again because at the very sight of you guys I start to feel sick to my stomach." Usagi contemplated becoming the drama- queen of the century, but decided she'd had enough for one night. "I want to be able to come back to Tokyo and visit my friends properly, not through secret rendezvous. I shouldn't have to hide like a freaking vigilante who's afraid to be spotted by... you two."
Rei watched, tearfully, as Usagi spun around and stalked off with Makoto and Ami hot on her heels.
Mina lingered behind. "Rei, I want to sympathize with you, but then why this is happening just comes back and all thoughts of helping you feel better disappears." Mina shook her head disappointedly. "This is you and Mamoru's fault, you know. You guys brought this onto yourself, unfortunately."
Rei opened her mouth to speak, but she snapped it closed. Rei knew nothing coherent or anything that would make anything better would come out of it.
Mamoru still hadn't said a word since his last outburst. Rei looked at him pleadingly, but she knew her looks wouldn't coax Mamoru out of his shell anytime soon. The only person Rei knew who could persuade Mamoru to do nearly anything was...
...Usagi.
Why did everything have to revolve around her? "Doesn't anyone think how we're feeling about this?" Rei yelled.
Mina's vision blurred with red. "Excuse me, but Mamoru was the one who cheated on Usagi!" She narrowed her eyes at Rei. "You have no right to even ask for thoughtfulness on your side! I can't believe you would even think about yourself in a time like this when Usagi—"
Makoto appeared from behind Mina and gently griped her by the arms before she could lunge at Rei and wrap her slender fingers around Rei's graceful neck.
Mina began crying as Makoto led her away from the lonesome couple. "Don't you care about anyone else but yourself? How could you two have sex without feeling guilty and Usagi's face flashing through your minds every time Rei groans or Mamoru murmurs, 'I love you?' How... could you..." Mina's voice eventually grew softer as she and Makoto put as much distance between them as they possibly could.
Rei broke down in Mamoru's limp arms, sobbing, as she let herself pretend that her wedding would be wonderful despite her friend's cold attitude towards her and that Mamoru was actually comforting her with his half- hearted consolances.
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