Disclaimer - You know the drill. You don't seriously think I created Harry Potter, do you? Give me a break, I'm not that smart. No, these characters are the sole property of J. Rowling and a number of publishing companies.
A/N -
meheeners - Well you've given me an idea for a possible ending, anyway grin
Lillei - You're right. I kept that in mind writing the last section of this chapter. Let me know what you think.
Versipellis - 10% of zero is approximately equal to a mention in my spankin' new profile. Go check it out.
-Leaf
NEVER ONE TO LEAVE
Remus awoke and immediately wished he hadn't.
Pain hit him like a wall, and he gasped. WHAT!? His mind cried, demanding reason. Why does it hurt so bad? What happened?
The full moon, he remembered dimly. Vaguely, he registered the walls of the Shrieking Shack around him. I transformed…I must have… he remembered James being with him though, and now he was alone. Alone and terrified. What was going on? Where was everyone? And why…why was he so hurt?
Remus tried to sit up, fighting a wave of nausea, and managed to prop himself against a wall. Okay, he thought, forcing himself to focus. The full moon's passed, it must have, because the wolf's gone. Maybe…maybe James went for help or something…or maybe he went for Sirius…Sirius will come…Sirius will help… The thought of his friend was comforting. Sirius would be here soon, and then none of this would matter, he thought firmly. Sirius would make everything all right.
He turned his attention to his body, checking for injuries. It became immediately obvious that he was covered in slashes and bruises. Usually the wolf was fairly calm when James and Sirius were around, and even without them he had only ever chewed at his wrists and ankles in the past. Something must have gone wrong, he thought, suddenly overwhelmed with fear. The wolf went nuts…did it smell blood? Did I attack someone?
His blood ran cold. Where was James?
"Oh god," Remus felt sick. He retched, and the sudden motion pitched his weakened body forward. His face hit the floor and pain exploded through him. Remus screamed in fear and agony. Why wasn't anyone coming?
He reached a hand up to his face and touched it gingerly, and pain shot through him again. What had happened? He tried to move his mouth, but found he couldn't. He blinked. It hurt. He pulled his hand away and found it bloody.
Shaking now from terror and pain, he curled up, knees tucked under him so his face didn't touch the floor. Blood dripped from his nose and mouth and pooled under him, mixing with tears and sweat.
A small, panicked voice came wafting up from downstairs. "Remus!"
Peter! Remus tried to call out to his friend, but could only manage a wordless, choking yowl. A moment later he heard footsteps, running up the stairs, entering the room. "Remus? Hey, mate, it's okay. Everything's all right."
Remus lifted his head. Peter's face twisted in shock and horror, but he composed himself quickly. "Can you walk? Come on, we've got to get you to the hospital wing."
Another voice. "Rem!" It was James, and he wasted no time in pelting upstairs. "Peter, is he okay? Can he walk?" He turned to Remus. "Can you walk, Rem?"
Remus couldn't answer. He struggled to get to his feet, wobbled, and collapsed. Before he hit the floor, Peter and James caught him and hauled him back up. Remus whimpered in fear and pain, clutching James' shoulder, eyes pleading for explanation.
"It's okay," James was struggling to remain calm, Remus knew, but his voice quavered a bit. "Let's get to the hospital wing, okay Rem? And we can talk there."
Remus managed a nod. Peter and James helped him make his way slowly out of the Shack and through the tunnel. Each step was painful, and Remus had to put most of his weight on his friends. They hadn't even attempted any healing spells, which was odd. Sirius had been studying those especially for this purpose, and was always there to clean Remus up for the trip to the hospital wing. What's happening? He wondered fearfully as James and Peter led him up the stone staircase. What went wrong?
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Remus passed out before they reached the hospital wing. James and Peter took him the rest of the way, and were all for refusing to leave, but Madam Pomfrey insisted. "I have a lot of work to do before he can have visitors," she said. "He's in isolation until dusk at least, and then I'm only letting you in if he agrees."
James placed a hand on his friend's forehead and whispered, "Don't worry, Moony. Everything's going to be all right." Then he turned reluctantly and left.
Sirius was sitting just outside, his back to the wall, knees bent, face in his hands. When James emerged, he looked up and called desperately, "How is he, James?"
James wanted to spit in his friend's face. He settled for an angry glare. "Get away from here, Black." Sirius flinched, but did not turn away. "I don't want to see you anywhere near him again, do you understand me?"
"Don't worry," Sirius said, a bitterly ironic smile twisting his face. "You won't."
What the hell did that mean? "Well…good," James said, unsure, and turned away."
"James?"
"What, Black?"
"How is he?"
James stared. Sirius looked pale and frightened, his eyes red, his hair disheveled. "Why are you pretending to care?"
"Please, James," Sirius begged. "I know you hate me, I don't blame you, but I don't care about that right now. I need to know if Remus is going to be all right."
"Yeah, well." James glared, rage building in him. "You might have thought of that before you sent Snape down there. The wolf almost killed him, Sirius, and when it didn't get to him it spent all night tearing itself to bits and charging headfirst into the walls. Remus' face is a mess. He's lost a lot of blood, he's going to have dozens of really nasty scars, he's in a lot of pain, and he's feeling scared, confused, and betrayed. So if that sounds all right to you, then yeah, he's all right."
Tears were running down Sirius' face.
"Just tell me the truth, Sirius," James said, the accusing tone leaving him. He was tired, drained, wanting an end to this nightmare. "Why'd you do it? Why'd you do this to Remus?"
Sirius shook his head.
"I want to understand," James pleaded. "I know you, Padfoot, you're not that kind of person. Please tell me there was a reason. If you tell me, I'll believe you. I trust you. You're my best friend." He knelt, laying a hand on Sirius' shoulder, and struggled to keep from crying. "I don't want to believe you're capable of doing something like this…for no reason at all…"
"I didn't want to…" Sirius whispered. "I knew…I knew it'd hurt him…no other way…"
"You're not making sense!" James shouted in frustration. "WHY? Why, Sirius?"
"I can't!" Sirius screamed, launching himself to his feet so suddenly that James fell backward in alarm. "I can't do this! I can't stand here and make excuses to you!"
James, infuriated, got to his feet as well and grabbed the collar of Sirius' shirt, shoving him up to the wall. "You have no excuses! You're pathetic! You cowardly…
"SHUT UP!" Sirius bellowed. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING, YOU THINK IT'S ALL SO SIMPLE! THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME, IT ISN'T ABOUT YOU, ITS ABOUT REMUS!"
James, shocked into silence, released him. Sirius slid back down to sit, and James knelt beside him.
"Remus," Sirius repeated, choking on the name. "And he's in there, he's hurting, and there's nothing we can do. It's all my fault, and there's nothing I can do." He sighed, looked at James. "It was a prank, James. Just a stupid joke. I never thought it'd go that far."
"A…a prank?"
"Snape was hanging around outside," Sirius said. "The tree was still frozen, and he found the passage. He was bothering me about what was in there, and I wasn't telling, and finally I told him he might as well go look for himself. I didn't think he'd do it."
"Why didn't you stop him?" James struggled to absorb this.
"I dunno," Sirius shrugged uncomfortably. "I was mad."
James glanced at him. "Sirius, is that really what happened?"
"Yeah," Sirius didn't meet his gaze.
"What the hell were you thinking?" James demanded, but the cold fury was gone from his voice. Sirius shrugged. "Well, you'll have to tell Remus tonight. He's going to want to know what happened."
"I know," Sirius said softly.
"He's not going to be happy."
"I know."
"Do you think he'll forgive you?"
Sirius was silent for a long time. Finally he spoke, so softly James could hardly hear: "I hope not."
A/N -
meheeners - Well you've given me an idea for a possible ending, anyway grin
Lillei - You're right. I kept that in mind writing the last section of this chapter. Let me know what you think.
Versipellis - 10% of zero is approximately equal to a mention in my spankin' new profile. Go check it out.
-Leaf
NEVER ONE TO LEAVE
Remus awoke and immediately wished he hadn't.
Pain hit him like a wall, and he gasped. WHAT!? His mind cried, demanding reason. Why does it hurt so bad? What happened?
The full moon, he remembered dimly. Vaguely, he registered the walls of the Shrieking Shack around him. I transformed…I must have… he remembered James being with him though, and now he was alone. Alone and terrified. What was going on? Where was everyone? And why…why was he so hurt?
Remus tried to sit up, fighting a wave of nausea, and managed to prop himself against a wall. Okay, he thought, forcing himself to focus. The full moon's passed, it must have, because the wolf's gone. Maybe…maybe James went for help or something…or maybe he went for Sirius…Sirius will come…Sirius will help… The thought of his friend was comforting. Sirius would be here soon, and then none of this would matter, he thought firmly. Sirius would make everything all right.
He turned his attention to his body, checking for injuries. It became immediately obvious that he was covered in slashes and bruises. Usually the wolf was fairly calm when James and Sirius were around, and even without them he had only ever chewed at his wrists and ankles in the past. Something must have gone wrong, he thought, suddenly overwhelmed with fear. The wolf went nuts…did it smell blood? Did I attack someone?
His blood ran cold. Where was James?
"Oh god," Remus felt sick. He retched, and the sudden motion pitched his weakened body forward. His face hit the floor and pain exploded through him. Remus screamed in fear and agony. Why wasn't anyone coming?
He reached a hand up to his face and touched it gingerly, and pain shot through him again. What had happened? He tried to move his mouth, but found he couldn't. He blinked. It hurt. He pulled his hand away and found it bloody.
Shaking now from terror and pain, he curled up, knees tucked under him so his face didn't touch the floor. Blood dripped from his nose and mouth and pooled under him, mixing with tears and sweat.
A small, panicked voice came wafting up from downstairs. "Remus!"
Peter! Remus tried to call out to his friend, but could only manage a wordless, choking yowl. A moment later he heard footsteps, running up the stairs, entering the room. "Remus? Hey, mate, it's okay. Everything's all right."
Remus lifted his head. Peter's face twisted in shock and horror, but he composed himself quickly. "Can you walk? Come on, we've got to get you to the hospital wing."
Another voice. "Rem!" It was James, and he wasted no time in pelting upstairs. "Peter, is he okay? Can he walk?" He turned to Remus. "Can you walk, Rem?"
Remus couldn't answer. He struggled to get to his feet, wobbled, and collapsed. Before he hit the floor, Peter and James caught him and hauled him back up. Remus whimpered in fear and pain, clutching James' shoulder, eyes pleading for explanation.
"It's okay," James was struggling to remain calm, Remus knew, but his voice quavered a bit. "Let's get to the hospital wing, okay Rem? And we can talk there."
Remus managed a nod. Peter and James helped him make his way slowly out of the Shack and through the tunnel. Each step was painful, and Remus had to put most of his weight on his friends. They hadn't even attempted any healing spells, which was odd. Sirius had been studying those especially for this purpose, and was always there to clean Remus up for the trip to the hospital wing. What's happening? He wondered fearfully as James and Peter led him up the stone staircase. What went wrong?
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Remus passed out before they reached the hospital wing. James and Peter took him the rest of the way, and were all for refusing to leave, but Madam Pomfrey insisted. "I have a lot of work to do before he can have visitors," she said. "He's in isolation until dusk at least, and then I'm only letting you in if he agrees."
James placed a hand on his friend's forehead and whispered, "Don't worry, Moony. Everything's going to be all right." Then he turned reluctantly and left.
Sirius was sitting just outside, his back to the wall, knees bent, face in his hands. When James emerged, he looked up and called desperately, "How is he, James?"
James wanted to spit in his friend's face. He settled for an angry glare. "Get away from here, Black." Sirius flinched, but did not turn away. "I don't want to see you anywhere near him again, do you understand me?"
"Don't worry," Sirius said, a bitterly ironic smile twisting his face. "You won't."
What the hell did that mean? "Well…good," James said, unsure, and turned away."
"James?"
"What, Black?"
"How is he?"
James stared. Sirius looked pale and frightened, his eyes red, his hair disheveled. "Why are you pretending to care?"
"Please, James," Sirius begged. "I know you hate me, I don't blame you, but I don't care about that right now. I need to know if Remus is going to be all right."
"Yeah, well." James glared, rage building in him. "You might have thought of that before you sent Snape down there. The wolf almost killed him, Sirius, and when it didn't get to him it spent all night tearing itself to bits and charging headfirst into the walls. Remus' face is a mess. He's lost a lot of blood, he's going to have dozens of really nasty scars, he's in a lot of pain, and he's feeling scared, confused, and betrayed. So if that sounds all right to you, then yeah, he's all right."
Tears were running down Sirius' face.
"Just tell me the truth, Sirius," James said, the accusing tone leaving him. He was tired, drained, wanting an end to this nightmare. "Why'd you do it? Why'd you do this to Remus?"
Sirius shook his head.
"I want to understand," James pleaded. "I know you, Padfoot, you're not that kind of person. Please tell me there was a reason. If you tell me, I'll believe you. I trust you. You're my best friend." He knelt, laying a hand on Sirius' shoulder, and struggled to keep from crying. "I don't want to believe you're capable of doing something like this…for no reason at all…"
"I didn't want to…" Sirius whispered. "I knew…I knew it'd hurt him…no other way…"
"You're not making sense!" James shouted in frustration. "WHY? Why, Sirius?"
"I can't!" Sirius screamed, launching himself to his feet so suddenly that James fell backward in alarm. "I can't do this! I can't stand here and make excuses to you!"
James, infuriated, got to his feet as well and grabbed the collar of Sirius' shirt, shoving him up to the wall. "You have no excuses! You're pathetic! You cowardly…
"SHUT UP!" Sirius bellowed. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING, YOU THINK IT'S ALL SO SIMPLE! THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME, IT ISN'T ABOUT YOU, ITS ABOUT REMUS!"
James, shocked into silence, released him. Sirius slid back down to sit, and James knelt beside him.
"Remus," Sirius repeated, choking on the name. "And he's in there, he's hurting, and there's nothing we can do. It's all my fault, and there's nothing I can do." He sighed, looked at James. "It was a prank, James. Just a stupid joke. I never thought it'd go that far."
"A…a prank?"
"Snape was hanging around outside," Sirius said. "The tree was still frozen, and he found the passage. He was bothering me about what was in there, and I wasn't telling, and finally I told him he might as well go look for himself. I didn't think he'd do it."
"Why didn't you stop him?" James struggled to absorb this.
"I dunno," Sirius shrugged uncomfortably. "I was mad."
James glanced at him. "Sirius, is that really what happened?"
"Yeah," Sirius didn't meet his gaze.
"What the hell were you thinking?" James demanded, but the cold fury was gone from his voice. Sirius shrugged. "Well, you'll have to tell Remus tonight. He's going to want to know what happened."
"I know," Sirius said softly.
"He's not going to be happy."
"I know."
"Do you think he'll forgive you?"
Sirius was silent for a long time. Finally he spoke, so softly James could hardly hear: "I hope not."