Chapter 14

Before they knew it Christmas was upon them and they were faced with a new dilemma. Neither one could figure out what kind of gift to give. How do you find the perfect gift for someone?

Remus was still keeping his feelings under lock and key. Every time a woman finds out you love them, they start shitting all over you, he kept telling himself. What they had was too perfect and he didn't want to ruin it.

Since Lika had admitted she loved Remus the first time, she hadn't shared it again. He knew how she felt and she decided the next move was his. She wasn't going to force him into a relationship he wasn't ready to commit to. That's why she didn't know what to get him for Christmas. What do you get someone in a relationship like this, she asked herself.

As the bell rang in the final class before break she felt a tension in her stomach. She didn't know why her nerves were raised, she supposed it was because she had never spent holidays with a man before and it just seemed like a whole new level of intimacy. They spent so much time together already, she was having problems grasping why exactly this was a problem.

Remus came to fetch her as usual and saw the far away look in her eyes again. More often than not in last couple of weeks she had that look. He didn't know what to do about it. When he asked what was wrong she just said nothing and distracted him in some way, usually with a kiss. He stood in the doorway and watched her until she noticed him. He could see her eyes glimmering with repressed tears and felt something clutch at his chest. He wanted to comfort her but stood his ground.

Lika's neck prickled with awareness and her eyes darted around for the cause. She focused on Remus and blinked the tears out her eyes but she knew she'd been busted. He had asked her several times over the past couple of weeks what her problem was but she couldn't very well tell him when she wasn't even sure herself.

"Hi." She said.

"Hello." He replied as he sized her up. "Crying again?"

"No. I just have a piece of dust in my eyes." She said unconvincingly.

"In both of them?" He said doubtfully. "Come on."

She gazed into his soft gray eyes and felt her love for him coursing through her veins and knew in that instant what was wrong with her. She wanted her love returned. Not shown, like he always did with her, but spoken. She hadn't realized until just now how desperately she wanted to hear him say it but she wouldn't force him. He was just going to have to say them in his own due time because she refused to be resented later in life for pressuring him into it.

"Remus. Please, just forget it. I'm fine really. Just a little emotional today." She said as she stood on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips.

He pulled her into his embrace and rested his chin on the top of her head as he stroked her hair. "I just wish you would trust me enough to help you."

"Please believe me. It has nothing to do with trust. I trust you with every fiber of my being." She said as she pulled back to meet his gaze and grab his palm.

"Then why don't you tell me what's bothering you?" He implored, though he was very pleased with her compliment.

"Because I don't know what's bothering me." She lied. "My Inner Eye has been feeling a little clouded the past couple of weeks. So I just feel off-kilter."

"There. Was that so hard?" He said.

Lika gave a weak smile and felt bad for fibbing to him. She turned around and grabbed her bag from the desk before facing Remus. "Ready?"

"Yes. Let's go." He answered as he grabbed her elbow and guided her to the stairs.

Now that Lika knew what was bothering her she could start to control her moods a bit better. Over the next couple of days everything was returning to normal and Remus had quit asking her what was bothering her. Which she was very grateful for.

They had decorated their homes together, each helping the other get ready for Christmas and couldn't help but be impressed with their handy work.

"Looks damn good." Remus said.

"It does, doesn't it." Lika answered as she stood back to admire the sparkling tree.

With a couple of waves of his wand Remus had dimmed the lights and conjured a roaring fire. He sat down on the floor and leaned against the couch before drawing her down to sit in front of him. She leaned back against him and snuggled into him with her head under his neck so he could rest his chin on her crown.

"Comfortable?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around her more securely.

"Mmmhmm." She answered sleepily.

They sat there in silence for a couple of minutes, reveling in the warmth of the fire and each other. Lika started humming a beautiful tune and he began feeling tired himself as she relaxed him with the soothing vibrations of her vocal chords. He grasped around for something to talk about.

"Tell me something true." He said abruptly.

"Something true? About life?" She asked.

"No. Something about you. Tell me something I don't know about you." He said.

"I hate vegetables." She stated.

"No. Not something like that. Although that's good to know. Give me some insight into you. What makes you tick. What's your greatest fear?" He inquired.

Lika sat pensively for a moment deciding what her worst fear was. She didn't like bugs, spiders especially but there must be something worse than that.

"I'm afraid of being alone forever and never knowing love." She said.

Remus heard the pain in her voice, even though it was slight, and felt his chest constrict. If ever there was an opportunity to confess his feelings, this was it, but still he hesitated.

Lika had given him a wide opening for him to tell her he loved her but to no avail. She felt the tears begin and cried silently and imperceptibly. She was starting to feel like she was wasting her time. They were wonderful together but stuck in the same place, unmoving. Remus obviously had some kind of hurdle he couldn't seem to get over in regards to the love department.

She moved to get up when she heard a loud thud on the window. Remus tugged her back down, shoving her to the side while he protectively shifted in front of her.

"What was that?" She asked nervously.

His sharpened eyes searched the darkness for the cause. He saw a bird laying unconscious on the window sill.

"A bird. Must have flew into the window. It's laying on the sill. Looks knocked out." He answered.

"Oh Remus, we have to help it." Lika said.

"Of course." He answered.

Remus rose to his feet and turned to pull Lika up also. They walked over to the window and he pulled it open. He gently brought the bird inside and placed it on the coffee table, both looking at it.

"There's a bird just like this one that lives above my tower." Lika said.

"It's a hawk. How bizarre. They're not very common around here. Now there's two of them? Strange. Listen, can you go grab some ace bandages from the medicine chest in the bathroom?" He asked.

"Sure." She said as she hurried away.

Remus was pressing his fingers on the birds wings, checking for injuries, when suddenly the bird got bigger. He kept growing and growing to an absolutely human size, until Remus realized it was not a bird anymore but a man. He found himself staring into a pair of cold blue eyes and panic filled his chest as he noticed the wand pointed directly at his heart.

"Malfoy." Remus said in a voice full of cold fury.

Damn cliff hangers......