Sorry for the delay in updates, readers! I've been lazy... and busy... but
mainly lazy... but also busy. Ah, never mind! Now... for those of you who
read the original version of Warrior Island, this is like an extra (LONG)
chapter that never existed before! WHOO!!
Disclaimer: Take a wild guess. I don't own the Soul Calibur peoples nor anything else...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Warrior Island
*~* Chapter 'X' – Kilik's Peril *~*
"Ow... my head..." Kilik sat up and rubbed his head. He was previously unconscious. That's what happens when you plummet down a laundry chute... "What happened? Maxi?" suddenly he came to the realization that... "Where the hell am I!?!?" ...he didn't know where he was. "This isn't the room I was in!? This is some kind of torture chamber!!"
Looking around the 'torture chamber', it was nothing more than a small room... with nothing in it. Wow... what torture. (Insert sarcasm here)
"Hey, genius!" Namika's voice echoed through the room.
"What the- Where are you??" Kilik looked around, searching for the source of the voice.
"How DARE you touch my Subaru's Walking Adventures?! Now... you will face the consequences!"
A random mango flew out of a random place and hit Kilik in the back of the head. "OW!! I mean... wow! A mango!" a smile crossed his face as he bit into the fruity fruit of fruitilicious goodness.
"Feel the wrath of the mango!!" the voice continued, "Now you'll spend the rest of your LIFE in this dungeon!! Or... at least a couple of hours 'til we realize you're gone... whoever you are..." Kilik raised an eyebrow in confusion. "This... is a recording."
"Oh. I get it. It wasn't really her," he shrugged and took another bite of his consoling mango.
---With the Others---
"Where are you leading us?" Necrid asked as the warriors continued following Namika.
"Here!" she said, opening the door reading 'Namika's Sanctuary – Keep Out! – Contents may be Incriminating...' "Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me!!" she whined after noticing the apparent laundry chute on the ground, and that her 'Subaru's Walking Adventures' were missing.
Xianghua walked over to the laundry chute and knelt by it, "Kilik!! Are you down there!?" she called.
---With Kilik---
Kilik didn't take any notice to Xianghua's shouts, for he was dancing around and singing, "Mango, mango man!! I want to be... a mang- Hic!" O'boy... he was drunk on mango. Only Kilik could manage that.
---With the Others---
"Uh... did anyone else hear that?" Cervantes asked.
It was silent for a moment as everyone pondered how to answer that... "Nnno," they all decided.
Cervantes blinked, "You're all just saying that to avoid the conversation, aren't you?"
"...yes."
"Well..." Xianghua tapped her foot impatiently, "HOW do we get him out of there!?"
"He has to get himself out," Namika replied.
"Why!?" Xianghua screamed.
Maxi offered his advice, "Couldn't we just lower a rope int-"
"NO!" Namika cut him off, "He has to get out himSELF!"
"OK..." Maxi agreed, scratching his head in confusion, "...I still don't understand why we can't just help him."
Namika smirked, "Because it's more fun this way." The warriors all sighed with expressions of frustration on their faces. "Now... Kilik must go through several stages and-"
"Why the hell are you telling US this?" Yunsung broke in.
"Damnit! Don't question my authority!!" Namika shook an intimidating fist at Yunsung. "Ahem... as I was saying... he must go through several stages and eventually find his way and then answer a question of wits and a new doorway will open and he'll ride an escalator and then fall down a story or so into the living room. Got that?"
..... Dead silence ......
"Good!" Namika beamed, "Let the games begin!" she first pulled out a TV remote out of nowhere and turned on a TV... uh... that appeared out of nowhere... Kilik was seen on the TV. And then Namika pressed a random button that randomly appeared on the wall and Kilik's Peril began!
---Back with Kilik---
Kilik stared drunkenly at one wall of the chamber that was magically moving aside, revealing a new passageway. Suddenly Namika's voice recording played again... but this one was different, "All right, genius! (Insert sarcasm here) You made the mistake of touching my comics, and that will be forgiven IF and only IF you can get through... the trials of DEMISE!! Ha!! I bet that you thought I was going to say 'doom'! EH?? Anyway... carry on! This... was a recording."
"...wow," Kilik looked at the passageway, "There's a hole in that wall... I want to go in it!!" he stumbled over to the dungeon-ish tunnel and entered... the room was empty (Surprise, surprise). Kilik looked around, "Wait! I GET it!!" he paused, "... I THINK that I should have paid attention to that hellly(Opposite of heavenly) recording!!"
---For the sake of randomness, back to the others!---
Xianghua and Maxi were watching the TV nervously... and they were the only ones. Everyone else could care less since everything happening was being taped! Why watch it now when you can just watch it on a tape later? Answer THAT Mr. Einstein! Ahem... Namika was randomly jumping on a couch while singing, "We're spinning out of control! Out of control! Where should I go? What should I do? I don't understand what you want from me! 'Cause I don't know... if I can trust y- OW!! Who threw a plant at me!? Eh... wait a second... what kind of plant is this? POISON IVY!!!!" and then she ran out of the room.
((A/N: The song that I- er... Namika was singing is "Out of Control" by Hoobastank. I don't own it... obviously, you disclaiming fools!!))
Of course, the only person who even knew what was going on with her was the one who threw the poison ivy at her... Yunsung. The oblivious Ivy looked around blankly, "Did she say something about me? Was it an insult!?"
"Yes," Taki answered without paying attention.
"WHAT?! That little futuristic bitch!!" Ivy ran out of the room after Namika.
"Will you guys SHUT UP!?" Xianghua screamed, "Something's happening!!"
And the television spoke... in a deep, manly, announcer voice, "Obstacle number one... HALLWAY OF EVIIIIL!!!!" the words 'Hallway of Evil' appeared on the bottom of the TV screen in big, shiny letters!
"Hallway of Evil?" Maxi repeated, "...what kind of evil?"
---Good question, Maxi. Let's see...---
"Oh my gosh! Who's that, like, hunkalicious guy??" a teenage girl - wearing a cheap-ass school uniform - said in a preppy accent ((A/N: You heard me. They have their own accent.))
"Like, I don't know..." said another, "How can he be here? This is, like, an all-girl's school."
"Who cares!?" exclaimed a third, "He's hot! Let's, like, take advantage of this... um... like... time... thing..."
"Opportunity?"
"Like, that's it!" Number-3 ((A/N: Their names are numbers, OK??)) proclaimed triumphantly, "Now, like... let's hit it on him."
"OK!!" Number-1 and 2 agreed in union.
---Momentary Return to Others---
"He's going to be torn limb-from-limb by fangirls!!" Xianghua shrieked.
Maxi shrugged, "He's been through worse..."
*~* Random Flashback *~*
Kilik is standing in front of a cliff that leads down to a shark-infested body of water... He is surrounded by Nightmare, a rabid raccoon and a man- eating plant. "Listen, guys! I'm really sorry! I swear... I didn't know that you were planning on eating that bagel! I..." they all lunge at Kilik. "AAAAAAAH!!!!"
*~* End Random Flashback *~*
"...That never happened... did it, Maxi?"
"Nah, but it's fun to recount these things."
---Back to Kilik---
Well, picture that random flashback of Maxi's again... except replace those surrounding him with three crazy teenage highschool girls. Oh... and there's no cliff... but there's a biology lab! Ahem... "Hello, ladies," he took another bite of his mango, "How are y- HIC!!"
Number-2 tilted her head, "Like... have you been drinking, Cutie?"
"It's Kilik. Kiiiiiliiiiiiiik!!"
Number-1 giggled, "I'd loooove to 'get to know you better' KiLIK." The other girls broke into a fit of giggles as well.
"...I don't get it," Kilik's drunken tone clearly heard.
"So innocent..." Number-3 walked over to Kilik and ran a finger along his chest, "...I like that."
Kilik's eyes widened and he stepped back, dropping his mango, "Wait, WAIT!! You're coming onto me!!"
Number-3 smiled seductively, "Of course we are. We're nothing but a group of single girls isolated from the world of males... what else can you expect from us?"
"Not THIS!!" Kilik turned and ran for his dear, sweet life... but on the way he stepped on his mango, causing mango-juice to gush from it and land on Number-1's shoes!
"ACK!! My shoes!! I, like, JUST had these shined and stuff. NOT cool!" she whined. The other two girls crowded around her.
Number-2 gasped, "Oh my gosh! They were, like, SO young!"
While the girls mourned the... erm... 'loss' of Number-1's shoes(SCHOOL shoes, I might add), Kilik managed to escape to the second trial...
---Everyone Else---
Xianghua's mouth was hanging open in shock, "Did that slut hit on Kilik!?!?"
"Yup," Maxi answered calmly.
"AUGH!! I can't believe this!!" Xianghua jumped to her feet and paced back- and-forth.
Maxi raised an eyebrow, "What does it matter? He rejected her and... I mean... so what? It's not as if you- Wait a minute! You want Kilik!!"
"WHAT?! I never said that!!" Xianghua stopped pacing and shot Maxi a warning glance, "You're making things up! Kilik's my friend and I worry about him, OK!? That's all that there is to it! Stop looking at me!! STOP IT!! There's nothing going on! STOP ACCUSING ME!!!!!!"
................... Every head in the room turned to Xianghua. Their curious eyes staring deeper into her soul... watching her face grow red from both embarrassment and... well... screaming her head off. Xianghua turned her head away, trying to avoid the piercing gazes... Suddenly, everyone came to a conclusion... a huge conclusion... they all gasped in unison and chorused, "You love Kilik!!!!"
"I... I never... you... I... Shut up!!"
"She didn't deny it!" observed Mitsurugi, "It's true! It's true!!"
Raphael rolled his eyes, "Well, obviously."
Mitsurugi growled, "You want to make something of it?"
"Yes," the arrogant Frenchman smirked. Mitsurugi then spontaneously tackled Raphael. "AAAH!! Get off of me, you-" Charade then decided jumped on top of the fallen warriors. "Fools!!"
"Hey, guys... that weird voice is saying something again!" Mina announced to the others. Everyone gathered around the television and listened to that manly, announcer voice...
"Trial one has been completed... impressive, indeed. Now, it is time to move on to... THE INFINITE DARKNESS!!"
---And what could this one be?---
"Oh my God!! This darkness is endless!!" Kilik hollered through *in deep voice* The Infinite Darkness... Mwahahahahaha!! Cough, cough! Only his own echo replied to his calls in this desolate zone of no return. "Is this my fate? To wander alone in this shroud of evil for all of eternity? To squabble with my own echo as I gradually lose all of the sanity left in me? To die slowly and painfully as my stomach results in devouring itself to keep from horrid starvation? IS THIS MY FATE-ATE-ate-te-e...!?"
A lonely sigh was heard from a far corner of the room, "Yes... your fate is the same as mine... loneliness... pain... and lastly... death."
Kilik looked around the room, "Uhm... you're dead?"
"Yes... I failed her test..."
"So you touched the comics too, eh?" Kilik figured.
"Biggest mistake I ever made."
---For the fun of it... the others---
Xianghua was about an inch from the television screen, desperately trying to find Kilik, "What the hell?! Why can't I see him!?"
"You're blinded by looooove," Cervantes teased. Xianghua snarled and punched Cervantes' arm... hard. "OW! IVY!! Xianghua hurt meeee!!" Silence. "Hey, where'd my daughter go?"
"She was chasing Namika," replied Cassandra.
Sophitia added, "Something about being insulted... I dunno."
"Poison ivy," Yunsung explained, "I threw poison ivy at Namika to shut her up... of course when Ivy heard her 'name', she assumed it was an insult and went to kick her ass."
Talim looked at Yunsung with her big, innocent eyes, "Doesn't that seem a little too harsh a punishment? I mean... Namika was only having fun."
"...no," Yunsung answered without being fazed.
"Grashvalaaa??" Voldo asked.
"That's a good question... are we missing a cat fight??" Yoshimitsu translated.
"Most likely."
Yoshmitsu suddenly leapt to his feet, "Then we must go!" he jumped onto Voldo's back, used his little semi-teleportation-dealy and vanished.
"Desperate bastards!!" Mina shouted after them.
---OK... Kilik---
"Is there any way that you can help me find a way out of this room?" Kilik asked, "I just want to get back... this place is creepy. Highschool girls and the darkness... my biggest fears..."
Suddenly music randomly plays in the background, "I believe in a thing called love! Just listen to the rhythm of my heart..."
"What the hell?!" Kilik exclaimed.
"It's The Darkness, man. 'I Believe in a Thing Called Love', which The Zelda Master doesn't own. Get with the times," said the dead dude.
Kilik slowly nodded his head, "Uh huh... so can you help me out of here?"
"Probably."
"How?" Kilik then came to the realization that Dvapara-Yuga ((A/N: Er... or however you spell it...)) was glowing with a mystical aura... as though it was reacting to something in the room... it was! "Hey, what's that over there?" Kilik wandered towards the object that glowed with the same aura as Dvapara-Yuga. When he finally arrived, he saw... him! The dead spirit! "Gasp! It's YOU!! Wait... who are you?"
The spirit's face fell, "Just a random person, baka!"
"Wait... baka?" Kilik asked, dumbfounded.
The spirit rolled his eyes, "Chinese idiot..."
"HEY!!" Kilik began to object, before being cut off...
"Never mind. Hey, listen. There's a reason that I led you here," the spirit pointed beside him, "This... is a door. Use it."
"Wow! A door!!" Kilik said excitedly, running through it.
"Hey, WAIT!! I'm coming, too! I want to get out of here!!" spirit flew after him. ((A/N: Yes, flew.))
---With the others---
Xianghua and Maxi jumped up-and-down, "Yay, yay, yay!! He made it! He made it!!" they shouted gleefully.
"Hooray, hooray," the other warriors muttered without any emotion.
The door of 'Namika's sanctuary' flew open and Namika stumbled in and collapsed to the ground, "Ow..."
Ivy smirked in the doorway, "That'll teach you to insult me."
"For the last time – I DIDN'T INSULT YOU!!" Namika screamed on the top of her – collapsed – lungs.
Ivy brushed a strand of hair from in front of her face, "Yes, of course. 'Didn't'."
"Why I ought to..." Namika started to get up, but Talim stepped in front of her.
"Stop this! There is no need to fight!" she insisted, "Please... let's just calm down and-"
"Let them fight. It's funny!" Astaroth declared.
Talim sighed, "Astaroth, please..."
"Whatever," Namika murmured to herself, "How's Kilik doing?"
"Just entering trial number three," Taki replied.
"Cool," Namika sat down in front of the television, "This shall be fun..."
The manly, announcer voice spoke once again, "Final trial: PIG STY!!"
---Kilik-ness---
"So, you say your name is Saiki?" Kilik asked.
"Yes, damnit! For the seventh time!!" the spirit replied fiercely.
Kilik nodded in understanding, "I see... and you're from...?"
"Japan!!" Saiki gritted his spiritual teeth. ((A/N: o_0))
"And you're here because...?"
"I tripped on a rock, hit my head on a tree and woke up on this island!"
Kilik nodded again, "That's interesting..."
"Hey, Kilik..." Saiki started to say.
"Yeah?"
"Look down."
"Huh?" Kilik looked down and saw that he was knee-deep in a pit of mud, "AH!!" he made an effort to escape, but it was no use. He couldn't move. "Oh, crap!! Can't... move..." Kilik continued struggling for his freedom without any luck... "Saiki!! A little help here!!" he commanded, reaching for the phantom.
Saiki shook his head slowly, "I can't help you out, Kilik. You have to escape this room on your own."
"How can I escape it?! I'm completely immobilized and- OW!!" Kilik quickly looked down and saw a rabid hog snarling at him, "AND there are pigs headbutting me!! OW!! Stop that!" he swung at one of the pigs, who simply stepped back, "No fair!! How come THEY can move?!"
"They're pigs," Saiki replied, "The most magical creatures in the world. They can do ANYTHING!"
Kilik then added, "And they taste good! OW!!" another hog charged into him. "That's it!" Kilik reached for the pig and fell face-first into the mud, "Oh, man!" he looked up and saw - through the layer of mud on his face – four pigs sitting in front of him, laughing. "This is ridiculous! Pigs don't laugh!!"
"Concentrate, Kilik!" Saiki directed, "Think... how can you manage to move through the mud like the pigs?"
"Wait... I think I've got it!!"
---HA! The others...---
"Who wants bacon??" Assassin offered as he walked into the room with a large plate of bacon, "Link helped me make it! He's quite handy in the kitchen!"
Link nodded proudly, "Hya."
Namika ran and tackled Assassin, "BACON!!!!!"
"I should've seen this coming..." Assassin mumbled in a half-conscious tone.
"Yum. Bacon," Cassandra walked over to the plate of bacon – which all of the pieces of bacon magically stayed on despite the entire tackle thing – and picked up a slice of the delectable meat, "I've always liked this stuff..." she popped the slice in her mouth.
Yunsung also ate one of the bacon pieces, "Nice cooking, Greeny," he gave Link a thumbs-up.
"Ya, hya!" Link returned the sign of approval.
"How can you guys eat BACON when Kilik's being beaten on by the exact creatures that that food is made from!?" Xianghua shouted.
Maxi looked at his friend, "... do you ever talk in a normal tone anymore?"
"...NO!!"
"Come on, Xianghua. Lighten up. Eat some pig," Sophitia handed her a piece.
Xianghua glared at the bacon, "You bastard pig..."
Necrid finally spoke up, "It should make you feel better to eat the animal that is hurting your friend."
"True enough," and Xianghua placed the sweet, sweet bacon into her mouth, "Man... this stuff is gooooood..."
Maxi blinked a few times and then said, "Somehow, I have a feeling that this isn't going to end well..."
---Back to the live-pig action!---
Kilik stretched, reaching for the pig... and as soon as he saw he chance, he grabbed onto the pig's tail! ((A/N: Poor piggy...)) The pig's eyes widened and it squealed in pain, "SQUEEEAL!! (In pain)" and then he ran... ran as quickly as his little pig legs could take him – which was pretty darn fast, just so you know. Kilik held onto the magical hog until on dry, un-muddy land.
"I'm free!!" Kilik danced around after releasing the pig!! Thank you, little pig!!" he picked up enraged boar and held it in front of him... bad choice. Before Kilik could move on, the pig let him know what he thought by biting Kilik on the nose. "OW!! Son of a bitch!"
"Kilik, you need to study. A female pig isn't a bitch... a female DOG is a bitch," Saiki corrected.
"That's great, Saiki... Now let's get out of this place!!" Kilik quickly recovered from the pig-bite and ran into the next, and final, room.
---One last time, the others---
"He made it!!" Xianghua squealed happily, giving Maxi a big hug, "He's ALIVE!!"
Maxi returned the hug, "Yeah!! Way to go, Kilik!!"
"In your face, pigs!!" after releasing Maxi, she grab a piece of bacon and threw at the TV.
"Hey, HEY!!" Namika shouted, "Let's not waste food here!"
---Enough of that. Kilik still has his Question of Wits---
Kilik and Saiki entered an empty room painted completely red. "Holy crap, this is blinding!!" Saiki shielded his phantom eyes, "I've been un-living in a pitch black room for who-knows how long... jeez! Bring to a red room gradually, man!"
"Hey, it's MY castle, MY room, MY choice!"
Saiki looked around with a frightened expression on his face, "N-Namika?"
"Yes, it's me, you idiot!" the voice of Namika answered, "You're really lucky that Kilik was nice enough to let you follow him out... if it were me, I would have left your soul to rot for touching my comics!" Saiki gulped and smiled innocently. "Imbecile... well, anyway... neither of you are free yet until you can answer my question."
"Question?" Kilik and Saiki asked simultaneously.
"Oh, did I say question?" Namika asked sarcastically, "I meant I give you an answer and YOU make up the question." The boys' faces grew hopeful. "Don't kid yourself. I'm asking you a question." They both hung their heads in shame.
Kilik looked up, "All right! I'm ready! Ask away!"
"...What is the Japanese word 'baka' in English?" Namika questioned.
Saiki looked over to Kilik, "Come on, man! BAKA!!"
Kilik thought to himself, 'Oh, man... how the hell should I- WAIT!!' his face perked up, "Idiot!!"
"YES!!" Saiki exclaimed.
"...what Saiki said," Namika made the results official, "Now go... ride the escalator, my friend and Saiki!"
Saiki frowned, "Thanks, Namika..."
"Any time! Now... I'm gone!" and thus, she was gone.
"We're free, Saiki! Come on!" Kilik dashed towards the escalator with Saiki following close behind...
---Fine... ONE more of the Others...---
"Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!!"
"Xianghua's going insane."
"Yup."
*~* End of Chapter X... *~*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
@_@ That was longer than I expected... my fingers... they're happy! *readers look at Namika funny* Yeah, OK, anyway... please review and tell me what you thought! ^^ It shouldn't take me as long to post the next chapter since I don't have to actually write anything new... just fix the next chapter! Anyhoo... here is what I say to YOU!
To Sea Wolf – He had mangoes! ^^ Of course... he dropped his mango around the fangirls. *sniffle* How tragic...
To Spider-bear – Shocking indeed, eh? Raphael has many unknown secrets... Mwahahahahahaha!!
To Xingy – I was TEMPTED to put Yunsung in a room with me- er... Namika... but no. ^^;
To Sokol/Gos-Hawk – Glad you're enjoying it! ^^ Kilik made it out of the laundry chute alive! Huzzah!
To Damsel in Distress – Slight pairings... but romance isn't a huge thing. You can see a little Kilik/Xianghua going on.
To Lady-Drakin – I wonder how long it'll take you to review THIS chapter...
To Lady Mason – Your Sexy Belly-ed Kali-Yuga bearer is safe, my friend! A little traumatized... but safe!
To RubyEye – Well, my favourite SC2 character is rather obviously Yunsung. XD So hot... anyway. I'll be sure to read your fic! ^^ When I have the time, that is.
Until next time... sayonara, bye bye!
Disclaimer: Take a wild guess. I don't own the Soul Calibur peoples nor anything else...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Warrior Island
*~* Chapter 'X' – Kilik's Peril *~*
"Ow... my head..." Kilik sat up and rubbed his head. He was previously unconscious. That's what happens when you plummet down a laundry chute... "What happened? Maxi?" suddenly he came to the realization that... "Where the hell am I!?!?" ...he didn't know where he was. "This isn't the room I was in!? This is some kind of torture chamber!!"
Looking around the 'torture chamber', it was nothing more than a small room... with nothing in it. Wow... what torture. (Insert sarcasm here)
"Hey, genius!" Namika's voice echoed through the room.
"What the- Where are you??" Kilik looked around, searching for the source of the voice.
"How DARE you touch my Subaru's Walking Adventures?! Now... you will face the consequences!"
A random mango flew out of a random place and hit Kilik in the back of the head. "OW!! I mean... wow! A mango!" a smile crossed his face as he bit into the fruity fruit of fruitilicious goodness.
"Feel the wrath of the mango!!" the voice continued, "Now you'll spend the rest of your LIFE in this dungeon!! Or... at least a couple of hours 'til we realize you're gone... whoever you are..." Kilik raised an eyebrow in confusion. "This... is a recording."
"Oh. I get it. It wasn't really her," he shrugged and took another bite of his consoling mango.
---With the Others---
"Where are you leading us?" Necrid asked as the warriors continued following Namika.
"Here!" she said, opening the door reading 'Namika's Sanctuary – Keep Out! – Contents may be Incriminating...' "Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me!!" she whined after noticing the apparent laundry chute on the ground, and that her 'Subaru's Walking Adventures' were missing.
Xianghua walked over to the laundry chute and knelt by it, "Kilik!! Are you down there!?" she called.
---With Kilik---
Kilik didn't take any notice to Xianghua's shouts, for he was dancing around and singing, "Mango, mango man!! I want to be... a mang- Hic!" O'boy... he was drunk on mango. Only Kilik could manage that.
---With the Others---
"Uh... did anyone else hear that?" Cervantes asked.
It was silent for a moment as everyone pondered how to answer that... "Nnno," they all decided.
Cervantes blinked, "You're all just saying that to avoid the conversation, aren't you?"
"...yes."
"Well..." Xianghua tapped her foot impatiently, "HOW do we get him out of there!?"
"He has to get himself out," Namika replied.
"Why!?" Xianghua screamed.
Maxi offered his advice, "Couldn't we just lower a rope int-"
"NO!" Namika cut him off, "He has to get out himSELF!"
"OK..." Maxi agreed, scratching his head in confusion, "...I still don't understand why we can't just help him."
Namika smirked, "Because it's more fun this way." The warriors all sighed with expressions of frustration on their faces. "Now... Kilik must go through several stages and-"
"Why the hell are you telling US this?" Yunsung broke in.
"Damnit! Don't question my authority!!" Namika shook an intimidating fist at Yunsung. "Ahem... as I was saying... he must go through several stages and eventually find his way and then answer a question of wits and a new doorway will open and he'll ride an escalator and then fall down a story or so into the living room. Got that?"
..... Dead silence ......
"Good!" Namika beamed, "Let the games begin!" she first pulled out a TV remote out of nowhere and turned on a TV... uh... that appeared out of nowhere... Kilik was seen on the TV. And then Namika pressed a random button that randomly appeared on the wall and Kilik's Peril began!
---Back with Kilik---
Kilik stared drunkenly at one wall of the chamber that was magically moving aside, revealing a new passageway. Suddenly Namika's voice recording played again... but this one was different, "All right, genius! (Insert sarcasm here) You made the mistake of touching my comics, and that will be forgiven IF and only IF you can get through... the trials of DEMISE!! Ha!! I bet that you thought I was going to say 'doom'! EH?? Anyway... carry on! This... was a recording."
"...wow," Kilik looked at the passageway, "There's a hole in that wall... I want to go in it!!" he stumbled over to the dungeon-ish tunnel and entered... the room was empty (Surprise, surprise). Kilik looked around, "Wait! I GET it!!" he paused, "... I THINK that I should have paid attention to that hellly(Opposite of heavenly) recording!!"
---For the sake of randomness, back to the others!---
Xianghua and Maxi were watching the TV nervously... and they were the only ones. Everyone else could care less since everything happening was being taped! Why watch it now when you can just watch it on a tape later? Answer THAT Mr. Einstein! Ahem... Namika was randomly jumping on a couch while singing, "We're spinning out of control! Out of control! Where should I go? What should I do? I don't understand what you want from me! 'Cause I don't know... if I can trust y- OW!! Who threw a plant at me!? Eh... wait a second... what kind of plant is this? POISON IVY!!!!" and then she ran out of the room.
((A/N: The song that I- er... Namika was singing is "Out of Control" by Hoobastank. I don't own it... obviously, you disclaiming fools!!))
Of course, the only person who even knew what was going on with her was the one who threw the poison ivy at her... Yunsung. The oblivious Ivy looked around blankly, "Did she say something about me? Was it an insult!?"
"Yes," Taki answered without paying attention.
"WHAT?! That little futuristic bitch!!" Ivy ran out of the room after Namika.
"Will you guys SHUT UP!?" Xianghua screamed, "Something's happening!!"
And the television spoke... in a deep, manly, announcer voice, "Obstacle number one... HALLWAY OF EVIIIIL!!!!" the words 'Hallway of Evil' appeared on the bottom of the TV screen in big, shiny letters!
"Hallway of Evil?" Maxi repeated, "...what kind of evil?"
---Good question, Maxi. Let's see...---
"Oh my gosh! Who's that, like, hunkalicious guy??" a teenage girl - wearing a cheap-ass school uniform - said in a preppy accent ((A/N: You heard me. They have their own accent.))
"Like, I don't know..." said another, "How can he be here? This is, like, an all-girl's school."
"Who cares!?" exclaimed a third, "He's hot! Let's, like, take advantage of this... um... like... time... thing..."
"Opportunity?"
"Like, that's it!" Number-3 ((A/N: Their names are numbers, OK??)) proclaimed triumphantly, "Now, like... let's hit it on him."
"OK!!" Number-1 and 2 agreed in union.
---Momentary Return to Others---
"He's going to be torn limb-from-limb by fangirls!!" Xianghua shrieked.
Maxi shrugged, "He's been through worse..."
*~* Random Flashback *~*
Kilik is standing in front of a cliff that leads down to a shark-infested body of water... He is surrounded by Nightmare, a rabid raccoon and a man- eating plant. "Listen, guys! I'm really sorry! I swear... I didn't know that you were planning on eating that bagel! I..." they all lunge at Kilik. "AAAAAAAH!!!!"
*~* End Random Flashback *~*
"...That never happened... did it, Maxi?"
"Nah, but it's fun to recount these things."
---Back to Kilik---
Well, picture that random flashback of Maxi's again... except replace those surrounding him with three crazy teenage highschool girls. Oh... and there's no cliff... but there's a biology lab! Ahem... "Hello, ladies," he took another bite of his mango, "How are y- HIC!!"
Number-2 tilted her head, "Like... have you been drinking, Cutie?"
"It's Kilik. Kiiiiiliiiiiiiik!!"
Number-1 giggled, "I'd loooove to 'get to know you better' KiLIK." The other girls broke into a fit of giggles as well.
"...I don't get it," Kilik's drunken tone clearly heard.
"So innocent..." Number-3 walked over to Kilik and ran a finger along his chest, "...I like that."
Kilik's eyes widened and he stepped back, dropping his mango, "Wait, WAIT!! You're coming onto me!!"
Number-3 smiled seductively, "Of course we are. We're nothing but a group of single girls isolated from the world of males... what else can you expect from us?"
"Not THIS!!" Kilik turned and ran for his dear, sweet life... but on the way he stepped on his mango, causing mango-juice to gush from it and land on Number-1's shoes!
"ACK!! My shoes!! I, like, JUST had these shined and stuff. NOT cool!" she whined. The other two girls crowded around her.
Number-2 gasped, "Oh my gosh! They were, like, SO young!"
While the girls mourned the... erm... 'loss' of Number-1's shoes(SCHOOL shoes, I might add), Kilik managed to escape to the second trial...
---Everyone Else---
Xianghua's mouth was hanging open in shock, "Did that slut hit on Kilik!?!?"
"Yup," Maxi answered calmly.
"AUGH!! I can't believe this!!" Xianghua jumped to her feet and paced back- and-forth.
Maxi raised an eyebrow, "What does it matter? He rejected her and... I mean... so what? It's not as if you- Wait a minute! You want Kilik!!"
"WHAT?! I never said that!!" Xianghua stopped pacing and shot Maxi a warning glance, "You're making things up! Kilik's my friend and I worry about him, OK!? That's all that there is to it! Stop looking at me!! STOP IT!! There's nothing going on! STOP ACCUSING ME!!!!!!"
................... Every head in the room turned to Xianghua. Their curious eyes staring deeper into her soul... watching her face grow red from both embarrassment and... well... screaming her head off. Xianghua turned her head away, trying to avoid the piercing gazes... Suddenly, everyone came to a conclusion... a huge conclusion... they all gasped in unison and chorused, "You love Kilik!!!!"
"I... I never... you... I... Shut up!!"
"She didn't deny it!" observed Mitsurugi, "It's true! It's true!!"
Raphael rolled his eyes, "Well, obviously."
Mitsurugi growled, "You want to make something of it?"
"Yes," the arrogant Frenchman smirked. Mitsurugi then spontaneously tackled Raphael. "AAAH!! Get off of me, you-" Charade then decided jumped on top of the fallen warriors. "Fools!!"
"Hey, guys... that weird voice is saying something again!" Mina announced to the others. Everyone gathered around the television and listened to that manly, announcer voice...
"Trial one has been completed... impressive, indeed. Now, it is time to move on to... THE INFINITE DARKNESS!!"
---And what could this one be?---
"Oh my God!! This darkness is endless!!" Kilik hollered through *in deep voice* The Infinite Darkness... Mwahahahahaha!! Cough, cough! Only his own echo replied to his calls in this desolate zone of no return. "Is this my fate? To wander alone in this shroud of evil for all of eternity? To squabble with my own echo as I gradually lose all of the sanity left in me? To die slowly and painfully as my stomach results in devouring itself to keep from horrid starvation? IS THIS MY FATE-ATE-ate-te-e...!?"
A lonely sigh was heard from a far corner of the room, "Yes... your fate is the same as mine... loneliness... pain... and lastly... death."
Kilik looked around the room, "Uhm... you're dead?"
"Yes... I failed her test..."
"So you touched the comics too, eh?" Kilik figured.
"Biggest mistake I ever made."
---For the fun of it... the others---
Xianghua was about an inch from the television screen, desperately trying to find Kilik, "What the hell?! Why can't I see him!?"
"You're blinded by looooove," Cervantes teased. Xianghua snarled and punched Cervantes' arm... hard. "OW! IVY!! Xianghua hurt meeee!!" Silence. "Hey, where'd my daughter go?"
"She was chasing Namika," replied Cassandra.
Sophitia added, "Something about being insulted... I dunno."
"Poison ivy," Yunsung explained, "I threw poison ivy at Namika to shut her up... of course when Ivy heard her 'name', she assumed it was an insult and went to kick her ass."
Talim looked at Yunsung with her big, innocent eyes, "Doesn't that seem a little too harsh a punishment? I mean... Namika was only having fun."
"...no," Yunsung answered without being fazed.
"Grashvalaaa??" Voldo asked.
"That's a good question... are we missing a cat fight??" Yoshimitsu translated.
"Most likely."
Yoshmitsu suddenly leapt to his feet, "Then we must go!" he jumped onto Voldo's back, used his little semi-teleportation-dealy and vanished.
"Desperate bastards!!" Mina shouted after them.
---OK... Kilik---
"Is there any way that you can help me find a way out of this room?" Kilik asked, "I just want to get back... this place is creepy. Highschool girls and the darkness... my biggest fears..."
Suddenly music randomly plays in the background, "I believe in a thing called love! Just listen to the rhythm of my heart..."
"What the hell?!" Kilik exclaimed.
"It's The Darkness, man. 'I Believe in a Thing Called Love', which The Zelda Master doesn't own. Get with the times," said the dead dude.
Kilik slowly nodded his head, "Uh huh... so can you help me out of here?"
"Probably."
"How?" Kilik then came to the realization that Dvapara-Yuga ((A/N: Er... or however you spell it...)) was glowing with a mystical aura... as though it was reacting to something in the room... it was! "Hey, what's that over there?" Kilik wandered towards the object that glowed with the same aura as Dvapara-Yuga. When he finally arrived, he saw... him! The dead spirit! "Gasp! It's YOU!! Wait... who are you?"
The spirit's face fell, "Just a random person, baka!"
"Wait... baka?" Kilik asked, dumbfounded.
The spirit rolled his eyes, "Chinese idiot..."
"HEY!!" Kilik began to object, before being cut off...
"Never mind. Hey, listen. There's a reason that I led you here," the spirit pointed beside him, "This... is a door. Use it."
"Wow! A door!!" Kilik said excitedly, running through it.
"Hey, WAIT!! I'm coming, too! I want to get out of here!!" spirit flew after him. ((A/N: Yes, flew.))
---With the others---
Xianghua and Maxi jumped up-and-down, "Yay, yay, yay!! He made it! He made it!!" they shouted gleefully.
"Hooray, hooray," the other warriors muttered without any emotion.
The door of 'Namika's sanctuary' flew open and Namika stumbled in and collapsed to the ground, "Ow..."
Ivy smirked in the doorway, "That'll teach you to insult me."
"For the last time – I DIDN'T INSULT YOU!!" Namika screamed on the top of her – collapsed – lungs.
Ivy brushed a strand of hair from in front of her face, "Yes, of course. 'Didn't'."
"Why I ought to..." Namika started to get up, but Talim stepped in front of her.
"Stop this! There is no need to fight!" she insisted, "Please... let's just calm down and-"
"Let them fight. It's funny!" Astaroth declared.
Talim sighed, "Astaroth, please..."
"Whatever," Namika murmured to herself, "How's Kilik doing?"
"Just entering trial number three," Taki replied.
"Cool," Namika sat down in front of the television, "This shall be fun..."
The manly, announcer voice spoke once again, "Final trial: PIG STY!!"
---Kilik-ness---
"So, you say your name is Saiki?" Kilik asked.
"Yes, damnit! For the seventh time!!" the spirit replied fiercely.
Kilik nodded in understanding, "I see... and you're from...?"
"Japan!!" Saiki gritted his spiritual teeth. ((A/N: o_0))
"And you're here because...?"
"I tripped on a rock, hit my head on a tree and woke up on this island!"
Kilik nodded again, "That's interesting..."
"Hey, Kilik..." Saiki started to say.
"Yeah?"
"Look down."
"Huh?" Kilik looked down and saw that he was knee-deep in a pit of mud, "AH!!" he made an effort to escape, but it was no use. He couldn't move. "Oh, crap!! Can't... move..." Kilik continued struggling for his freedom without any luck... "Saiki!! A little help here!!" he commanded, reaching for the phantom.
Saiki shook his head slowly, "I can't help you out, Kilik. You have to escape this room on your own."
"How can I escape it?! I'm completely immobilized and- OW!!" Kilik quickly looked down and saw a rabid hog snarling at him, "AND there are pigs headbutting me!! OW!! Stop that!" he swung at one of the pigs, who simply stepped back, "No fair!! How come THEY can move?!"
"They're pigs," Saiki replied, "The most magical creatures in the world. They can do ANYTHING!"
Kilik then added, "And they taste good! OW!!" another hog charged into him. "That's it!" Kilik reached for the pig and fell face-first into the mud, "Oh, man!" he looked up and saw - through the layer of mud on his face – four pigs sitting in front of him, laughing. "This is ridiculous! Pigs don't laugh!!"
"Concentrate, Kilik!" Saiki directed, "Think... how can you manage to move through the mud like the pigs?"
"Wait... I think I've got it!!"
---HA! The others...---
"Who wants bacon??" Assassin offered as he walked into the room with a large plate of bacon, "Link helped me make it! He's quite handy in the kitchen!"
Link nodded proudly, "Hya."
Namika ran and tackled Assassin, "BACON!!!!!"
"I should've seen this coming..." Assassin mumbled in a half-conscious tone.
"Yum. Bacon," Cassandra walked over to the plate of bacon – which all of the pieces of bacon magically stayed on despite the entire tackle thing – and picked up a slice of the delectable meat, "I've always liked this stuff..." she popped the slice in her mouth.
Yunsung also ate one of the bacon pieces, "Nice cooking, Greeny," he gave Link a thumbs-up.
"Ya, hya!" Link returned the sign of approval.
"How can you guys eat BACON when Kilik's being beaten on by the exact creatures that that food is made from!?" Xianghua shouted.
Maxi looked at his friend, "... do you ever talk in a normal tone anymore?"
"...NO!!"
"Come on, Xianghua. Lighten up. Eat some pig," Sophitia handed her a piece.
Xianghua glared at the bacon, "You bastard pig..."
Necrid finally spoke up, "It should make you feel better to eat the animal that is hurting your friend."
"True enough," and Xianghua placed the sweet, sweet bacon into her mouth, "Man... this stuff is gooooood..."
Maxi blinked a few times and then said, "Somehow, I have a feeling that this isn't going to end well..."
---Back to the live-pig action!---
Kilik stretched, reaching for the pig... and as soon as he saw he chance, he grabbed onto the pig's tail! ((A/N: Poor piggy...)) The pig's eyes widened and it squealed in pain, "SQUEEEAL!! (In pain)" and then he ran... ran as quickly as his little pig legs could take him – which was pretty darn fast, just so you know. Kilik held onto the magical hog until on dry, un-muddy land.
"I'm free!!" Kilik danced around after releasing the pig!! Thank you, little pig!!" he picked up enraged boar and held it in front of him... bad choice. Before Kilik could move on, the pig let him know what he thought by biting Kilik on the nose. "OW!! Son of a bitch!"
"Kilik, you need to study. A female pig isn't a bitch... a female DOG is a bitch," Saiki corrected.
"That's great, Saiki... Now let's get out of this place!!" Kilik quickly recovered from the pig-bite and ran into the next, and final, room.
---One last time, the others---
"He made it!!" Xianghua squealed happily, giving Maxi a big hug, "He's ALIVE!!"
Maxi returned the hug, "Yeah!! Way to go, Kilik!!"
"In your face, pigs!!" after releasing Maxi, she grab a piece of bacon and threw at the TV.
"Hey, HEY!!" Namika shouted, "Let's not waste food here!"
---Enough of that. Kilik still has his Question of Wits---
Kilik and Saiki entered an empty room painted completely red. "Holy crap, this is blinding!!" Saiki shielded his phantom eyes, "I've been un-living in a pitch black room for who-knows how long... jeez! Bring to a red room gradually, man!"
"Hey, it's MY castle, MY room, MY choice!"
Saiki looked around with a frightened expression on his face, "N-Namika?"
"Yes, it's me, you idiot!" the voice of Namika answered, "You're really lucky that Kilik was nice enough to let you follow him out... if it were me, I would have left your soul to rot for touching my comics!" Saiki gulped and smiled innocently. "Imbecile... well, anyway... neither of you are free yet until you can answer my question."
"Question?" Kilik and Saiki asked simultaneously.
"Oh, did I say question?" Namika asked sarcastically, "I meant I give you an answer and YOU make up the question." The boys' faces grew hopeful. "Don't kid yourself. I'm asking you a question." They both hung their heads in shame.
Kilik looked up, "All right! I'm ready! Ask away!"
"...What is the Japanese word 'baka' in English?" Namika questioned.
Saiki looked over to Kilik, "Come on, man! BAKA!!"
Kilik thought to himself, 'Oh, man... how the hell should I- WAIT!!' his face perked up, "Idiot!!"
"YES!!" Saiki exclaimed.
"...what Saiki said," Namika made the results official, "Now go... ride the escalator, my friend and Saiki!"
Saiki frowned, "Thanks, Namika..."
"Any time! Now... I'm gone!" and thus, she was gone.
"We're free, Saiki! Come on!" Kilik dashed towards the escalator with Saiki following close behind...
---Fine... ONE more of the Others...---
"Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!!"
"Xianghua's going insane."
"Yup."
*~* End of Chapter X... *~*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
@_@ That was longer than I expected... my fingers... they're happy! *readers look at Namika funny* Yeah, OK, anyway... please review and tell me what you thought! ^^ It shouldn't take me as long to post the next chapter since I don't have to actually write anything new... just fix the next chapter! Anyhoo... here is what I say to YOU!
To Sea Wolf – He had mangoes! ^^ Of course... he dropped his mango around the fangirls. *sniffle* How tragic...
To Spider-bear – Shocking indeed, eh? Raphael has many unknown secrets... Mwahahahahahaha!!
To Xingy – I was TEMPTED to put Yunsung in a room with me- er... Namika... but no. ^^;
To Sokol/Gos-Hawk – Glad you're enjoying it! ^^ Kilik made it out of the laundry chute alive! Huzzah!
To Damsel in Distress – Slight pairings... but romance isn't a huge thing. You can see a little Kilik/Xianghua going on.
To Lady-Drakin – I wonder how long it'll take you to review THIS chapter...
To Lady Mason – Your Sexy Belly-ed Kali-Yuga bearer is safe, my friend! A little traumatized... but safe!
To RubyEye – Well, my favourite SC2 character is rather obviously Yunsung. XD So hot... anyway. I'll be sure to read your fic! ^^ When I have the time, that is.
Until next time... sayonara, bye bye!