I finally beat my brother's record in Extra Arcade mode!! And do you know who I have to thank for it? Hoobastank!! That's right. Listening to Hoobastank made me play better. No more Mitsurugi at the top of the record- dealy, oh no! Now it's Yunsung! XD Er... yeah... the story...

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Soul Calibur II characters, nor Magicka.

/...Warrior Island.../

[Chapter 7 – Who Cares? People Do!]

The warriors were sitting and waiting for Kilik to recover from his fall from the escalator. The only thing that was really happening at this point was Saiki bidding farewell to his captor, Namika, "Listen, bitch! I don't know what the hell I did to deserve dying in your little dungeon, but I'm hella happy that I'm leaving!" the spirit shouted.

"Good! Go! I'm not complaining, you bassy!" Namika screamed back.

"Bassy, eh!?" Saiki said curiously, "Damn your modern terminology and abbreviations!"

Namika rolled her eyes, "Just ask me to my face – it means 'bastard'!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"YEAH!!"

"Will you two shut up!?" Xianghua screeched, "Kilik's finally coming to!" Everyone turned their attention to Kilik as his eyes opened and he sat up. "Kilik!" Xianghua threw her arms around the fighter, practically suffocating him in her tight embrace. "Kilik, I'm so glad you're all right!!"

Kilik rubbed the back of his head and groaned, "Oh, man... I had the craziest dream... I touched this comic on this weird girl's island and then fell down a hole and wound up going through these creepy trials with a ghost and-" he looked up and noticed Namika and Saiki standing (and floating) right before his eyes, "HOLY CRAP! THEY EXIST!!" Everyone sighed in frustration. "Are you telling me that this all really happened?!" The warriors and company nodded. "I feel faint..."

"No, you do NOT!" Maxi said in a threatening tone.

Kilik's eyes widened, "Yes, sir... I shall not fall unconscious."

"Good!" everyone said in unison.

Saiki floated up towards a window and spoke, "Well, time for me to move on to a REAL afterlife. Later, losers!!" And thus, Saiki was gone.

"...So are you going to tell us why we're here now?" Yunsung asked, looking at Namika.

"Right!" Namika casually sat down on the couch and crossed her legs, folding her hands on her lap. The warriors raised an eyebrow at her... poised stature. "Well, where was I when we last left off? Oh, yes! The Ferry Man left you here! Now, to find out why you must pass a series of test... thingies..." Namika pulled out her random notebook and flipped through it, "Now, these test thingies will be... different and... random and... well, they'll involve stuff like skill, mental power and... teamwork... but most of all – evil."

"Nice..." Necrid said while nodded in a rather triumphant way; earning himself a glare from the 'heroic warriors'.

Sophitia got up from her seat, "Hold on a second! This sounds like some kind of... reality show."

All eyes turned to Namika. "What?!" she exclaimed, "Just because I have an obsession with reality TV, doesn't mean that I'd actually PUT you guys in one!" Conveniently, at that moment several Assassins ran by, carrying a cluster of video equipment. The stares of the warriors insisted. Namika smiled innocently, "Wha-at? I have to watch what you guys are up to, you know!"

"These stunts are necessary? I mean... you can't just TELL us who sent us here and send us on a random boat back home??" asked Mitsurugi.

Namika shook her head, "Nah. That's no fun. Plus, I don't know who dropped you off here!"

Mitsurugi's eye twitched in frustration, "You... don't... know...!?" Namika grinned and backed away from Mitsurugi. "So you're making us do random stunts for your entertainment? You... ARGH!!"

"Yeah, so... any more comments?" Namika questioned. Everyone shook their heads. "Good! Now get going towards your stunts, surprise twists, amusing relationships and MORE! And come the end of this journey-dealy... you shall discover whom it was who left you on this island!" The warriors all nodded their heads slowly and proceeded to shift away from Namika – towards the front door. "I bid you all farewell! ...Especially you, Yunsung!!"

Yunsung sighed, "Of for the love of-"

"Okay, people! No time to waste!" Assassin shouted, "Let's move! I assure you that you will be hearing from Namika again!"

"Damnit!!" Take an educated guess at who said that one. Here's a clue: Namika then winked at him.

Assassin then walked out of the door and the warriors followed him. As they marched, Assassin chanted, "I don't know what I've been told!"

The warriors repeated, "I don't know what I've been told!"

"Namika's gonna kill me if I screw up!"

"Namika's gonna kill me if I screw up!"

"Sound off!" Assassin shouted.

"One, two!!"

Assassin turned back and glared at the warriors, "I said SOUND OFF!! Shut up!!" Our heroes stared at him wide-eyed. "I'm just joshin' you!" Assassin smiled; not that anyone could see... "You can talk!"

Talim stared at Assassin with her big, innocent eyes full of fear, "You're frightening me..."

"I tend to do that."

All of the warriors exhaled loudly in aggravation. Xianghua spoke up, "Where exactly are you taking us?" she asked.

"Well, if you must know..." Assassin began, "We will being going to our very first pit stop!"

Everyone looked at Assassin in confusion, "...pit stop?" they repeated.

"Yes, pit stops!" confirmed the mysterious swordsman, "They're breaks. You go there to find out what the hell you're doing next on the wonderful journey of... I don't even know..."

"Well, I'm not going to deny the fact that that'll be helpful," Kilik muttered under his breath.

Cassandra rolled her eyes, "There better not being any stunts there... because I REALLY don't feel like doing a stunt!" she whined.

"Oh, suck it up, Sis!" Sophitia said.

"Are you calling me..." tears formed in Cassandra's eyes, "FAT!?"

Sophitia groaned, "Not suck it IN! Suck it UP and deal with it!!"

"Oh... I get it!"

Mina looked over to Cassandra and Sophitia, "Could you two please stop saying 'suck' so much?"

"Or just stop talking," suggested Nightmare. Everyone nodded in agreement. "Good. So where is this pit stop?"

Assassin pointed to a nearby beach, "There."

"A beach!!" Ivy exclaimed a tone that was all-too happy for her, "Yay!! Tannage!!"

Cervantes glared at his daughter, "Don't you get enough of a tan walking around in that... skimpy outfit??" he said in disgust.

"Father, I'm a grown woman," Ivy's voice returned to its normal tone, "I can where whatever I want! I will NOT take any advice from you."

"Then perhaps you can at least tell me WHAT you are wearing!" shouted Cervantes.

Yunsung then blurted out, "Not much!"

And the warriors – save Ivy and Cervantes – burst into a fit of laughter. Ivy sighed, "That was an extremely pathetic insult."

"I do not appreciate you saying things like that about my daughter."

Yunsung stopped laughing, "What the hell? You don't ever CARE about her!"

"I'll show you can your smart mouth!!" Cervantes yelled and began chasing Yunsung around with his blades in hand. Yunsung screamed and ran away. "Come back and face me like a MAN!!"

"No!!!"

A smirk crossed Taki's face, "Heh, heh... look at him run."

"Perhaps we should help him..." Talim proposed unsurely.

"Hya!! Ya, ya, shaaaaaa!" responded the Hylian – Link.

Kilik beamed, "Wow! A new sound!!" Everyone stared at him blankly. Kilik then cleared his throat, "Ahe-he-hem... I mean... how many times must we tell you? NO!!" Talim looked down at the ground, ashamed.

All the while, Cervantes was still chasing Yunsung around, "Come on, Yunny! Attack me!!"

Yunsung stopped running and turned to Cervantes, "Did you... just call me... YUNNY!?" he shrieked. "DIE!!" and charged at Cervantes.

Mina laughed to herself, "I knew that nickname would come back to haunt him." She caught the perplexed gazes that the others warriors were giving her, "I'd bug him by calling him that. Back in the day..." she sighed dreamily, "Good times... good times..."

Yunsung pulled out White Storm and skewered the blade through Cervantes' stomach, "There! Can't be breathing now."

Cervantes sneered, "Oh, please! Dead people don't breath! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

"Damnit! I forgot that you're already dead..."

The fighters all shook their head at the situation. "You're all ignoring me again!!" Assassin complained.

Astaroth responded, "Sorry about that... worms."

Necrid then faked some enthusiasm to make Assassin feel special, "Won't you please lead us to the beach, oh assassiny one!"

"That's better!" Assassin said triumphantly. "Well, as it would seem... we're already on the beach."

"Oh, hey. Would you look at that," Necrid's voice became monotonous.

"Anyway..." Assassin started, "You guys just stay here while I get the thing that explains the stuff!" No one even bothered to comment on that statement as Assassin when behind a random tree ((A/N: On the beach, yes.)) and pulled out a television.

Raphael's eyes shimmered with an anime-style joy, "Television! My love, we are uni-" The warriors stared at Raphael with wide eyes. "I mean... what are you doing with that ridiculous box?"

"Well..." Assassin said, still a little shocked by Raphael's outburst of... happiness. "Namika will be talking to you through this TV!"

"That girl won't leave us alone!?" yelled Mitsurugi.

"No... no she won't."

Namika's face then appeared on the television, "HIIII!!!" she said with a huge grin on her face – which the warriors responded do with their own classic, frustrated expression. "Why the long faces? You should be excited since selected people here are about to hear from... your loved ones or others who care about you for some reason or other!" The warriors all began to look hopeful. "Yep, yep! Of course, some of you have no one who cares about you! Cough, Cervantes, cough!" A random Assassin appeared on the television screen and whispered something in Namika's ear. "What?! He's the first one who heard from someone!?" she slapped her own forehead, "Aye carumba... roll the tape!"

As the screen temporarily faded into a blurred image, Cervantes sang, "I have a message! I have a message!"

And so, the message begins to play... A teenage boy appeared on the screen, "Hello, Master..." he said unsurely.

"Ah! The young one!"

"Argh! Not Magicka!!" Ivy groaned, "I hate that little freak!"

"And Ivy... I know what you're saying!" Magicka shouted.

"Eek! He can see me!!" Ivy hid behind Maxi as Magicka continued speaking...

"Okay, what to say? For starters... How the hell did you end up on some random entertainment crap on some deserted island!?" he shouted, "It... it's just sad. Sad in a pathetic kind of way! How could YOU end up on that island? YOU!! You're a pirate! One of the best! I mean... look at your hat! It's one of the largest! Everyone knows that people judge pirates by how big their hat is!"

The thought going through everyone's mind was, "...it's so true."

"I wish I could come and rescue you, Master!" Magicka said, "But... but the Ferry Man cannot be found! I don't know where you are, Master! I'm helpless! I'M HELPLESS!!" tears began to stream down his face, "I... have to go..." and Magicka ran off of the screen, sobbing all the way.

Namika's face was now on the television again, "Erm... well... I guess that's all he had to say. And it would appear that he won't be saying too much more for a while."

Cervantes shook his head slowly, "He's helpless without me..."

"We gathered that from the video," murmured Taki.

"Really!?" Mitsurugi exclaimed sarcastically, "I can't image what gave it away."

"I'd say the 'I'M HELPLESS!!' gave it away," Maxi guessed. Everyone else rolled their eyes.

"Okay, next video!" Namika spoke up, "This one is for Mina and Yunsung from the one and only Seung Han Myong! That's right! Mina's father and Yunsung's master."

"Yay!!" Mina said happily, "My father bothered to tape a message!"

Myong then appeared on the television screen, speaking with a producer... who just so happened to be an Assassin. "Let me get this straight... they got sent to a deserted island... and now a fourteen year old is controlling their lives for entertainment!?" The Assassin nodded. "Have I taught them nothing!?!?" he shouted.

Mina and Yunsung both looked terrified, "Uh oh..."

"I am terribly disappointed in both of you!!" he continued to yell, "Can you not SWIM!?" A chuckle was heard from off the screen. "Quiet, Hwang! Now... you two, get off of that island RIGHT NOW!! Especially you, Mina! I don't want you hanging around a bunch of desperate men!" Innocent whistles came from Mitsurugi, Raphael, Nightmare, Yoshimitsu, Maxi, Cervantes and the main Assassin.

Mina looked at them all in horror, "EW!!"

"I'm not desperate," Kilik announced.

"Ya, shiaaaa, hya!"

"Neither is he."

Yunsung held up a hand to Mina, "Not interested."

Myong's voice then interrupted the clarification of who was and wasn't desperate, "Especially when there is a perfectly good man right here in the dojo!" A 'Master, I don't think that...' could faintly be heard from off the screen. "I said quiet, Hwang!!"

"Oh for the love of..." Mina muttered under her breath, "Stupid Hwang."

Myong continued... "And you, Yunsung! Is THIS how I trained you!? Some pansy-ass who can't escape an island!? It's SAD!! PATHETIC!! Get back here, NOW!!" and thus, he stormed off of the screen.

Before Namika returned to the television, Hwang came on screen and gave Mina and Yunsung a fake thumbs-up, "Good luck, geniuses!" and walked off.

"We're so dead..." Mina and Yunsung said in unison.

Namika came back on the television, "Note how every person who recorded a message mentions how 'sad' and 'pathetic' you all are."

"Duly noted," said Yoshimitsu.

"Riiiight..." said Namika, "Anyway, here comes the final message from..."

"My husband, my husband..." wished Sophitia.

"Father, Father..." imagined Talim.

Charade crossed his fingers and thought, 'Someone... someone..."

"...Raphael's foster child!" Namika announced.

"Amy...?" Raphael said in disbelief.

"Yeah, that's the one!"

Tears formed in Raphael's eyes, "Amy...?"

"Yeah," Namika repeated, trying to keep from losing her mind, "Amy! Your daughter-person!"

"AMY!!!!!!!!!!!!" Raphael shouted. Namika stared wide-eyed. Waterfalls of tears were falling along Raphael's face, "Amy, Amy, Amy!!!!"

"Er... here's the tape..." Namika said with a raised eyebrow as she disappeared from sight.

Amy appeared on the television, and Raphael sniffled. "Vous..." she began speaking in French, "...m'effrayez. La seule raison pour laquelle je vous ai sauvé... c'était parce que j'avais peur que si j'étais honnête avec le policier, vous me tueriez. Maintenant... je pars!!" and she ran out of view, leaving the warriors in the dark.

Namika came back to the TV again... again. "Allow me to translate! 'You scare me. The only reason I saved you is because I was scared that if I were honest with the police officer, you'd kill me. Now I'm leaving!' And she did so."

Raphael's tears changed from joy to grief, "Amy... she... left... me... MERDE!!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

There was a long silence after that. Partially because of the drama of the moment... and partially because of the fact that no one knew what the hell he just said. Namika smiled innocently, "Uh... censored!!"

........the crickets chirped........

"I thought I killed those crickets..." Necrid whispered to himself.

"They never die," Taki commented, "They're like Cervantes." A maniacal and taunting laughter escaped the undead pirate.

"All right!" Namika said, returning to her cheerful demeanour. "Take a break and I'll explain your first stunt! Oh, and eventually I'll let more of you hear from your loved ones! Yeah, I lied about only talking to many."

[End of Chapter 7]

I am SO sorry that it took me forever to update! I just really haven't been inspired... but look! I updated!! -innocent smile- Well, I'd respond to reviews... but bah. I'll do it next chapter. XD But to update, I WILL be relying on Lady-Drakin to provoke me and remind me! –points to Lady-Drakin- Got that? Remind me to update more often!! Until next time: Sayonara!