My deepest apologies that it took me so much time to update this story... I've been busy with my Yu Yu Hakusho fic... and life. Yeah, life involved time, as well. But enough about WHY I didn't update, I shall just get to the update!

Disclaimer: I do own any of the characters from the Calibur of Soul... er... Soul Calibur.

Warrior Island

Chapter 8 – Surfs Up!

The warriors are all lounging on the beach... catching a few z's, getting a tan, practicing their fighting skills, or... being a little annoyance. "Oh my God!!" Xianghua suddenly exclaimed, causing all of the warriors to turn their heads towards the skilled swordswoman.

"What!?" they all shouted nervously, glancing around for anything out of the ordinary.

Xianghua held her hand to her mouth in horror, "SHARK!!" No matter how tough the warriors were, they freaked out and screamed like a group of schoolgirls. Xianghua giggled upon seeing their fears, "Just kidding!" she announced with a wink.

Everyone stared at Xianghua with their eyes twitching out of pure agitation. No one acted on their fury... except for Astaroth who pulled out his giant ax and swung it at Xianghua, "DESTROY!!" he hollered.

"Noooo!!" Kilik yelled, "Sic 'em, Maxi!!"

A shimmer of joy glistened in Maxi's eyes as he laced his hands together and held them in front of him. He gazed at Kilik, starry-eyed, "Really? I can attack Astaroth without people getting pissed off at me??" Kilik closed his eyes and nodded calmly. "YAY!!" Maxi bounded forward, landing on the golem's back, "Yeehaw!!" Astaroth screamed and toppled over to the ground. Everyone else just shook their heads slowly to themselves, while Xianghua sniggered with glee.

"Xianghua has the Justus Kiddinus disorder," said Kilik solemnly.

"Ya, hya," Link murmured.

Kilik nodded, "Tragic, I know."

"It suuuure is..." Yoshimitsu said, but paused awkwardly, "...What is it?" Everyone sighed.

"It causes her to say lie," Kilik explained, "And then after she lies, she always says 'just kidding'. She can't help it... just does it all of the time."

"Sucks to be AROUND her..." Yunsung muttered to himself, which earned him a slap from Seung Mina. "Ow!! Sor-ry!" he said, catching the point that his comment was rather 'rude'... as if he could care less.

All of a sudden, Namika appeared on the television, "Evenin'!!" she exclaimed cheerfully, which caught many of the warriors off-guard as they fell backwards.

Talim shook off the sudden shock, "But... it's the afternoon..."

Namika rolled her eyes, "Whatever..."

Assassin fell to his knees and groveled at the... uhm... not-so-feet of the television, "Namika, can you PLEASE just give them the stunt?! They're all becoming more and more insane! I can't take watching over them much longer... give them the stunt! Give them the stunt! Please, please pl-"

"That's quite enough, Assasin," Namika announced, holding up a hand to confirm that she wanted Assassin to cease speaking. "Now... back on topic of your trial thing-a-ma-crap... I'm sure that you've all noticed that we're at the beach..."

"Wow..." Taki mumbled monotonously, "I don't believe you."

"Well, you should! Anyway... how many of you peoples have gone surfing??"

.......cricket, cricket.... SPLAT!! Insert Necrid's evil laughter here to indicate his guilt of killing the crickets.

"Okay..." Namika put a finger on her chin as she pondered, "Well... have any of you seen other people surf?" she asked.

.......tweet....twe- CAW!! Insert Necrid holding a slingshot triumphantly to indicate, once again, his guilt of killing – this time – the bird.

Namika let out a small, anguished groan, "Do any of you even have a clue what surfing is?" she enquired with a raised eyebrow.

......pin drop......

Necrid clenched his teeth in aggravation, "That's it!!" he bellowed as he lifted his hand to strike the pin that randomly dropped out of nowhere... but as his hand came in contact with the pin, pain followed. "OW!! Son of a....." Beeeeeeeep!!

"Necrid!!" Namika shrieked, becoming extremely impatient with his constant interruptions... whether anyone actually noticed them or not. Necrid hung his head in shame and rubbed his sore hand. "Anyway..." Namika continued, "You're going to learn to surf. Okay? Okay."

"Actually..." Sophitia began to object, though Namika quickly cut in...

"I said 'okay'!!"

Sophitia – the powerful Greek warrior – cowered in fear, "...okay..."

"Okay!" Namika beamed, "Assassin, bring out the surfboard!" she clapped her hands twice to indicate the order. Assassin grumbled to himself as he went behind the trees ((A/N: Yes. On the beach.)) and pulled out a bunch of surfboards.

The group of fighters 'ooh'ed and 'ahh'ed in unison from pure astonishment from the rainbow of boards... and for good measure, let's add in an 'ohh'. "These, my not-so-friends, are surfboards!"

Raphael stared at Assassin in bewilderment, "They are boards of surf?"

Assassin merely shrugged, "Sure, why not?"

"Because it's not true," Yunsung answered with a smirk.

Taki whacked Yunsung with... not all of her strength, but she's tough so it didn't take all of her strength to teach that little delinquent a lesson, "What did we tell you about answering rhetorical questions?!" she yelled.

Yunsung massaged his aching head, "Ow... uh... is that a rhetorical question?"

"Depends..." Taki replied, "Was THAT a rhetorical question?"

Yunsung thought for a moment, "Maybe... but was yours?"

"What about yours?"

"And yours?"

"Yours?"

"Yours?"

"Yours?"

The heads of the other warriors turned on their cervical vertebrae ((A/N: Necks!)) to keep the person saying 'yours' in view. Namika tapped her foot edgily until she simply blew up, "THEY WEREN'T, NOW BE QUIET!!"

Yunsung and Taki both went silent... until Yunsung asked, "What question did we wonder was rhetorical again?" Taki shrugged. "Eh... doesn't matter."

"So, now that that's over with..." said Mitsurugi, "...how do we surf? And... why?"

"How: by going into the water and standing on the board," Namika replied, "Why: because I enjoy watching people falling off of things, of course!" she held up her hand so it was in view on the television and gave a peace sign. The warriors shook their heads in a type of pity.

"Is it possible for you to explain how to surf a little better, or in depth?" Maxi questioned.

"Nah," Namika said casually, "But what I CAN explain is that if you hurry up and choose your surfboard... you'll get you favourite colour!!" The fighters dashed towards the surfboards like a stampede of bulls, leaving a trail of sand clouding the air... As the dust cleared, it became clear that good ol' Maxi was still standing in the same place, blinking in confusion.

"Wait!!" Maxi shouted, "I wasn't expecting that... no fair..."

Astaroth walked over to Maxi with two boards in hand, "There's on left, worms," he handed it to Maxi.

Cassandra wrinkled her nose, "Worm board!? That's, like, totally narst!"

"Aha!" Namika said happily, "You're using surfer lingo!"

"COOL!"

Namika frowned, "Aw... you lost it. You should've said 'awesome'." Cassandra looked sad.

Meanwhile, Maxi was taking a long, hard look at this surfboard that Astaroth was offering him. "And this is the only one left?" he asked. Astaroth nodded. "You're sure?" Astaroth nodded. "Positive?" Astaroth nodded. "But... but... but it's PINK!!" Astaroth nodded again... with a devilish grin on his face as he handed Maxi the hot pink surfboard. "I can't use this!!"

"Oh DEAL!" Namika waved her hand casually, "Now, everyone... into the water!!"

Nightmare raised Soul Edge into the air in victory, "Yay! Bathing suits! Stripping down!!"

Sophitia sighed, "Remember when Nightmare DIDN'T want to strip?"

"You mean yesterday?" questioned Yoshimitsu.

"Yeah..."

Namika growled under her breath, "All of you... GO!!" The warriors dashed for the water, with Link leading the way. "Oh, crap! WAIT!!" Link abruptly slammed on the breaks, causing the rest of the fighters to run into him in a domino effect. "Yay! You all fell down!" Namika smiled, "I mean... I forgot to tell you guys that after this, Voldo will be going back to his dungeon... which I'm still not certain how he escaped..."

"Gloosh woooooo!!" Voldo hissed.

Yoshimitsu looked at him oddly, "Now why the hell would you WANT to go back?"

"Shooo kloooof!!"

Yoshimitsu stroked his chin in thought, "Stockholm Syndrome, you say?"

"And that is...?" everyone else chorused.

"When the victim identifies with his captors, of course."

Namika rolled her eyes again, "All right, all right... that our vocabulary lesson of the day... not let's go! Into the water! Go, go, GO!!" All complied, and went into the water with their surfboards. "Now... everyone, get on your boards, stand up, and the last one standing WINS!!" And they got onto their surfboards...

Astaroth glanced down at the water covering his surfboard, and encircling his legs, "My wormy surfboard is sinki-" ...glub...glub...

Namika sighed, "Next person who falls off has to save him."

Maxi looked down at his own surfboard... pink... "You know what? I'll just fall off now. It'll be less humiliating than staying on this thing." He jumped off of his surfboard and dragged the heinous creature that is Astaroth onto short.

"Thank you, arch-nemesis," said Astaroth after catching his breath.

"You're welcome, arch-nemesis," Maxi said kindly.

Of course, on the water things weren't quite as friendly... "Hey, Mitsurugi..." Raphael cooed.

"What do you want?" the samurai retorted.

"I can see your epidermis!!" teased our favourite Frenchman. Mitsurugi uttered a high-pitched screamed as he attempted cover up his... skin!? Not too bright, is he? He fell off of the surfboard, leaving Raphael on his own board, laughing at his rival's stupidity.

Raphael's achievement was cut short by the seductive voice of Ivy, "Oh, Raphaeeel..." Raphael turned around to face Ivy, only to fall face-first into the water. Ivy cackled at Raphael's own display of idiocy.

Cervantes was trying desperately to keep his balance, but found himself failing miserably, "I am SO around to fall down... my hat is making it hard to- AH!" Guess what! He fell.

Namika spoke into a megaphone... on the TV... "Mitsurugi, Raphael and Cervantes – you're out! Return to shore!!"

Kilik was faring well in the competition as he held Kali-Yuga in front of himself as an aid to balance. He also sang as he surfed, "Wipe out! Na na na na, na na na na na na, na na na na na... na na na na, na na na na na na, na na na na na... na na NA, na na na na na... na na na na na... na na na na, na na na na na, na, na na na na na..."

Out of nowhere, Xianghua shrieked, "GIANT SQUID ARMY!!"

"Eek! Squids!!" Cassandra stumbled uneasily, and collided with the water's surface, only to hear Xianghua...

"Just kidding!"

Cassandra's eye twitched violently, "Why I ought to..."

"Return to shore, Cassandra!" Namika ordered.

"Ha! Wait to go, Sis! WHOA!!" Sophitia joined the ranks of her sister: out of the competition.

Cassandra stared at her older sister, "At least I went down with dignity, Sophitia!"

"Sophitia, you're out, too!!" The two sisters swam to shore, bickering about whose fall was more pathetic.

Yunsung flexed his biceps proudly, "I am young, and in shape... so everyone, just give up now!"

Mina glanced over to her father's student, "Don't make me tell everyone the story, Yunsung," she said calmly.

"What story?"

"THE story," she answered, keeping an expressionless tone in her voice.

Yunsung blinked a few times, "...what the hell are you talking about, Mina?"

Mina struggled to suppress the smirk tugging at her lips, "You know..."

"NO, I don't!!" SPLASH!! Being young and in shape failed to help Yunsung in the battle of wits that Mina had challenged him to...

"Makes sense since there is no story, sucker!!" Mina stuck her tongue out tauntingly. Yunsung raised his arm out of the water and shook an intimidating fist at Mina, who merely laughed demonically.

"To shore with you!" Namika stated, pointing to Yunsung.

Voldo randomly hissed, "Voooooo dooooo!!"

Talim gasped in horror, "No! Voodoo is unholy!"

Voldo tiled his head, "...sklaa?"

"What?"

"VOOOO DOOOOOO!!

"I said it's BAD!!"

"Sklaa??"

"I don't get it!!" Talim shouted in frustration... "Eek!" ...before falling off of the surfboard... And Voldo fell off of his, as well.

Namika called, "Talim, Voldo and Necrid are all out!"

"What!?" Necrid snapped, "Why am I out!?"

"Because you've been surfing on sand for about five minutes," Namika replied with a yawn.

"And why did no one tell me this?"

A smirk found its way to Namika's face, "Because it was pretty damn funny."

Once again, back on the water... Ivy stretched nonchalantly, "This is pathetically easy..."

"And you're pathetically ugly!" Xianghua mocked.

"Yes, yes... Don't tell me, 'just kidding'?"

Xianghua shook her head, "Nope. I'm serious."

"BITCH!!" Ivy shrieked and jumped off of her surfboard to attack Xianghua, resulting in both of them falling into the icy water.

"You're both out! Get onto shore!!"

Everyone on shore shiver like mad with their teeth clattering, trying desperately to keep warm. "Water cold?" asked a very dry Assassin. The others nodded as much as their frozen bodies allowed them to. "Yeah, I figured... want some tea?" The warriors nodded again. "We only have cheap, imported green tea, though... you for it?" After a moment of pondering, the fighters shook their heads. "I knew you'd say that."

[End of Chapter 8]

WHEE!! Who's going to win? And WHAT will they win?? Oh! Oh!! I dunno... let's recap – Those remaining are: Kilik – Link – Yoshimitsu – Taki – Nightmare – Mina – Charade All right... now please review and let me know what you thought of that lovely chapter! I'll work my darndest to update some point before my birthday! (Le cinq juillet. Er... The fifth of July.)

In reply to reviews...

To Sea Wolf – He shall have more mangoes in due time, my friend! Due time...

To Xenomina – Saiki was the random ghost dude who helped Kilik during his 'trials' in Chapter X. Female Assassin, eh? Hmm... ideas are forming...

To Xingy – Sorry it took me so long to update! [innocent sweatdrop] Hope that this chapter was worth the oh-so long wait!

To Li Kenta – [stares at Li... that is all. Just stares at Li... then blares her radio]

To SOMEBODY – (I had to put it in caps, man) Yes. Yes I can kick my brother's ass in SCII... sometimes. [shifty eyes]

To Lady-Drakin – Rather than re-reading that age long review... I shall simply say... uhm... EVANESCENCE!! And my birthday! [points threatening finger at YOU] You'd better be able to come!

To Mabas Nova – I'll put more Nightmare eventually, I swear! Erm... yeah... best time?? Good question. [goes to check] Extra Arcade: 1st, Yunsung, 3'10"13. (My record) 2nd, Mitsurugi, 3'19"58. (My bro's record) In regular Arcade, my best time is... 1st, Talim, 3'05"43. And this is with the automatic settings.

To Sareph – Ah! Voldo's there, Voldo's there!

To Wink 142 – I feel so bad for not e-mailing you... but my stupid computer doesn't let me actually send e-mails, only check it! I go to my e-mail, and in the little loading status thing it says "Done, but with Errors on Page"... the error is NOT BEING ABLE TO SEND!! --.-- Sorry...

To JudgeMaster X – sha-na sey-ah TOULIAH!! I like it... XD

To BillysLittleCowgirl – Glad that you enjoy my story... and appreciate Subaru's hallucinations! XD Nah, 'twas not Daisuke Saiki... 'twas just some random dead dude. And everyone in my school has preppy accents! Well... most people...

To Keaton the Black Jackal – Do not pity the Frenchman... he is simply... fun to make fun of! [innocent smile]

To Couy-Chan – I'm mean to ALL of the characters! [smirks] Mwahahahaha...

To Draco666 – I'm pleased that you enjoy my randomness.

To Shawazu – Squee! I'm so happy you like the fic so much! Heh... I make my friends read it, too... XD ...CHICKEN!!