Title: Shattered Illusions

Author: Kelly Port

Category: Romance/Humor/Angst

Rating: R For use of explicit language.

Spoilers: All Seasons.

Summary: My interpretation of what happens after Grissom takes Sara home (Bloodlines). This is a WIP.

Disclaimer: "CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION" and other related entities are owned, (TM) and (c) by ANTHONY E. ZUIKER, JERRY BRUCKHEIMER Television, CBS Worldwide Inc., Alliance Atlantis Corporation, CSI Productions and CBS Productions, All Rights Reserved. I am just a fan, with spare time on her hands and am really not worth perusing for settlement against infringement.

Notes: To Rox and Ash, my beta readers, this story would not be without you! Any other mistakes are mine all mine...mmmwhahaha! LOL, couldn't resist!

Archived: Yes, please!

Feedback is welcomed. No flames please as I don't think my exposed heart could handle it!

Chapter 3 Forward Steps

"Ring, Ring, beep...beep"

'Would somebody just stop that ringing, I am going to kill whoever is making that noise,' Sara thought to herself as she rolled over and hit her alarm clock.

"Ring, Ring, beep...beep"

There it was again, ahhh! Wait, as Sara rolled once again and opened her eyes, it wasn't her alarm, her alarm wasn't even set for that matter, it was her phone. As she scrambled out of bed and dove for her jeans on the floor pulling out her cell phone as the last beep sounded... "Hello," she answered out of breathe and still heavy with sleep.

"Hey Sara, it's Grissom," came the voice from the other end of the line.

"Hi," Sara replied.

"Are you ok?" the words were out of Grissom's mouth before he could chide himself on how stupid of a question that was to be asking. Of course she wasn't ok.

"I can't believe that I slept this long, are you about to do hand outs?" she responded.

"Ya, I will call you when I get home...is that alright?" Grissom asked.

"I'll be here, what are you going to tell everyone?" Sara asked with nervousness.

"That your cold you have been trying to keep at bay has finally caught up with you," he replied.

The night was dead, the pun lost on the man that sat at his desk thinking of all that had happened in the past twenty-four hours. He had almost lost her again, he had told her everything. It was just so much to take in, he had only hoped that fear of rejection that lingered in the back of his mind never was given a chance to come to fruition. If he had to, he would leave it all for her, he had already wasted so much time.

Grissom was startled from his thoughts by the click of the heels that echoed in his office, he looked up from the paper work that sat on his desk to see Catherine standing in front of his desk.

"Hey Grissom, we're all finished up here and thought that I would stop in to see if you were going yet" Catherine said.

"What, what time is it?" asked Grissom.

"Man, that paperwork must be really mind numbing, it's half past seven, well past time to be getting home," Catherine replied. "Are you ok?"

"I am fine just tired, I'll see you tonight," Grissom responded as he stood up from his desk and began to get ready to go home.

"Ya, I'll see you tonight," Catherine said as she left Grissom's office.

As Grissom drove home he felt his exhaustion begin to grow and yet it felt like his mind had just had a jolt from some of Greg's special blend. For the first time in a long time Grissom couldn't wait to get home.

Sara was just drying herself off from her bath when she heard her phone ringing; she quickly wrapped the towel around her and ran into her bedroom to answer the phone.

"Hey Grissom," Sara said as she answered her phone.

"Hey...how did you know it was me?" Grissom asked.

"Well, lets see...it's eight am in the morning, work finished about an hour ago and you said that you were going to call me!" replied Sara.

"But what if you had been wrong Sherlock, what if, all the clues pointed to me and yet it was someone else," retorted Grissom

"Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary, besides unless someone had stolen your phone, then I can just rely on call display," Sara exclaimed.

At first Sara didn't hear anything and was about to speak again when she heard the soft chuckle that emanated from the phone.

"Well, that I should have realized, but I am so tired and to be honest it felt good to laugh, thank-you Sara. I hope that I didn't interrupt you..." Grissom paused as he waited for a response.

"Well, actually you caught me getting out of the bath, I was just getting ready to go back to bed," Sara said.

"Oh, umm well then I'll let you go, I just wanted to call because I said that I would," Grissom replied sheepishly and slightly embarrassed, by the thoughts of Sara in her apartment fresh from the bath.

"No, it's fine, if you want to talk, I just need a sec to change and then I am all yours, that is if you are not to tired to talk," Sara responded, while biting her lip and chiding herself for being so forward when she still felt so raw. Talk about a glutton for punishment; was this really worth any more pain? She thought to herself as she waited for his response.

"I would actually like to talk for a bit if you don't mind," Grissom finally replied.

"Ok, just give me a sec to change," Sara said as she sat down the phone.

Grissom realized what a step had just been taken and he didn't want it to become a backwards one. He could here the rustling coming from Sara's end and decided to get a little more comfortable himself, he began to get undressed as he kicked off his shoes and began to unbutton his shirt, he was just climbing into bed clad in only a pair of boxers when Sara came back on the line.

As Sara lay down her phone she threw her towel over the back of her door, pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top on. Grabbing the phone with one hand, she pulled back the covers to her bed with the other and climbed in. That's one giant step, for a future with possibilities and no more pain she thought to herself as she said, "I am back!"

"I am here," came Grissom's reply.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Sara asked.

"I want to talk about everything, but first I need you to listen to me again," Grissom said.

"Ok, I am ready to listen," came Sara's hesitant reply. Was she really ready to listen, last night she really didn't have a choice, she did now, all she had to do was hang-up. But then she remembered what he said "I am willing to risk it; I am going to risk it all for you, if you will let me. Please Sara," he had whispered. And the tears, the look of defeat, he had caused her so much pain, he had caused them both so much pain, they needed time to heal. This could be the time and they could heal together and start a new friendship and see where that took them. A small smile began to peek out at the corner of Sara mouth; Grissom had just won a small victory even if he didn't know it yet.

"I meant everything that I said last night, I have hurt you so much, I am so sorry, more sorry then you'll ever know and given the chance I will spend eternity making it up to you, I promise Sara, I won't ever push you away again!" Grissom finished slightly out of breath, his heart was beating so fast, this was it a declaration of sorts, all she had to do was hang-up and then that would be it.

Grissom waited for what seemed like eternity before Sara said anything and when she did finally say something, it was sniffle.

"Sara?" Grissom said.

He heard nothing.

"Sara, are you there?" he said into the silence.

Another sniffle.

"Sara, honey, please answer me,"Grissom pleaded into the phone as he began to sit up in bed.

"Sara...Sara...SARA..." Grissom shouted into the phone the panic filling his chest echoing in his words.

"I am here...sniffle.... but this is the last chance...sniffle...no more pushing, you promised." said Sara.

"I promise, no more pushing and no more tears." Grissom said.

"Grissom," Sara said.

"Ya," Grissom replied.

"I am sorry for scaring you, but I scared myself even more," Sara stated.

"I just wish that I could have been there for you, that it wasn't me that caused this, I should have seen what I was doing to you, I thought that it was for the best, Sara, I didn't mean for this to happen." Grissom replied.

"I know, I know that you didn't, we both made mistakes, and I would be making another if I didn't say that we have enough time to talk, right now you need to get some sleep. I will talk to you later, ok Gris?" finished Sara.

"I.... but...ahhh...ok," Grissom relented "I'll call you later, sleep well Sara."

"I just might, I just might," Sara said as she hung up the phone.

TBC...