A/N: No one EVER reviews this! Starving authoress here! For future
references, Narcissus is a character in Greek Mythology who fell in love
with his own reflection. Please don't kill me! REVIEW SO I CAN EAT!! Also,
I use American currency for some reason, probably because I want to see all
the Europeans to suffer with me while we all try to figure out currency
exchange. Sorry for the confusion! Free cheese biscuits to all!!
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Chapter 3: Operation Narcissus a.k.a. Getting into Oxford
Legolas, also known as Leggy or Lego, is taking pictures with his many fan girls. They are so amazed to get their picture with the elvish prince. Legolas really loves this, and is smiling like a goon.
"Legolas!! Can I marry you?!" A crazed fan girl named Shelly shouts, running up to the prince.
"Of course!" Legolas says absentmindedly, looking into a mirror.
Suddenly, as in a twisted plot that only this authoress could think up, Leggy notices he needs to re-spray his hair!
"GASP!" Legolas gasps.
"Gasp!" The fan girls gasp.
Running/prancing, he storms into his room and reaches for the hair spray....
EARLIER THAT DAY....
"Merry, if we want to get into Oxford, we need to read all these books and perform and experiment! How're we gonna pull it off in three weeks?" Pippin says, staring wide eyed at the letter.
"Relax! All we need to read is.... MacBeth? Hamlet? Pride and Prejudice? Oliver Twist?" Merry says, looking like he is going to have a heart attack.
Pippin and Merry, if you can't piece together the puzzle, have given up drinking and have decided to go to Oxford. And I don't know if that's really how you get into Oxford. So, yeah.
"Experiment...experiment...think, Pippin's brain, think!" Pippin says, pacing the room.
"Does conditioner and shampoo affect hair growth or loss?" Merry says, very softly, and jokingly.
Suddenly, a light bulb appears over Pippin's head and switches on. A weird smile crosses his face.
"THAT'S IT!!" Pippin screams, jumping up on the table. They both begin to sing the Green Dragon drinking song mentioned in a previous chapter.
SKIP HALF AN HOUR....
"And you're sure Lego's not in his room?" Pippin says, looking around. He is now wearing, instead of his hobbit-y clothes, a black turtleneck and black cargo jeans. He says this into a walkie-talkie.
"Affirmative." Merry's voice comes out of the walkie-talkie.
"Operation Narcissus is go." Pippin replies.
Pippin expertly picks the lock to Leggy's room and sneaks in. He sees all these pictures of Elf girls, a picture of the Eye of Sauron, and lots of pictures of himself. He then sees a calendar that says, "Elf Chicks Bikini Edition". Pippin laughs like a maniac, and then stops when he hears a loud "SNORE!!" He jumps in fright, and then stifles laughs as he sees Legolas sucking his thumb and muttering something about "Finding Nemo". Needless to say, Leggy has been sleeping. Creeping over to the vanity, he sees the bottle of "Blonde at Heart Shampoo/Conditioner" and grabs it. He then places a bottle of "Rangerwear: all you need when you're out in the wild!" that has been placed in a bottle with a "Blonde at Heart" label and places it on the vanity. He also grabs the bottle of hair spray and sets up a spy camera. He then sneaks out.
BACK TO THE TIME WHEN THE STORY STARTED....
"EEK!!!" Legolas screams like a little girl. He has just noticed that his hair spray is missing. Slow, isn't he?
Watching from their top-secret monitoring room with TV screens, Merry and Pippin shriek in laughter. They klink glasses filled with iced tea in celebration.
"NO!! It can't be gone! I paid 20,000 Mirkwood Money for that!" Legolas screams, tearing apart his room. 20,000 Mirkwood Money is about 10,000 American dollars.
"Look at his face!!" Merry cackles evilly.
"Oh, well. When hair spray is no, conditioner's the way to go!" Legolas says happily as he squirts a ton of the conditioner on his head. This is the Rangerwear one, mind you. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------
A/N: PLEASE DON'T SPEAR ME, LEGOLAS FAN GIRLS!! I am not Shelly, the aforementioned fan girl. Feed me so I can write, do you want me to look like a human toothpick or something? God, all you cruel people out there! Review my other stories, too! No one ever does!!Anduril, Flame of the West
Chapter 3: Operation Narcissus a.k.a. Getting into Oxford
Legolas, also known as Leggy or Lego, is taking pictures with his many fan girls. They are so amazed to get their picture with the elvish prince. Legolas really loves this, and is smiling like a goon.
"Legolas!! Can I marry you?!" A crazed fan girl named Shelly shouts, running up to the prince.
"Of course!" Legolas says absentmindedly, looking into a mirror.
Suddenly, as in a twisted plot that only this authoress could think up, Leggy notices he needs to re-spray his hair!
"GASP!" Legolas gasps.
"Gasp!" The fan girls gasp.
Running/prancing, he storms into his room and reaches for the hair spray....
EARLIER THAT DAY....
"Merry, if we want to get into Oxford, we need to read all these books and perform and experiment! How're we gonna pull it off in three weeks?" Pippin says, staring wide eyed at the letter.
"Relax! All we need to read is.... MacBeth? Hamlet? Pride and Prejudice? Oliver Twist?" Merry says, looking like he is going to have a heart attack.
Pippin and Merry, if you can't piece together the puzzle, have given up drinking and have decided to go to Oxford. And I don't know if that's really how you get into Oxford. So, yeah.
"Experiment...experiment...think, Pippin's brain, think!" Pippin says, pacing the room.
"Does conditioner and shampoo affect hair growth or loss?" Merry says, very softly, and jokingly.
Suddenly, a light bulb appears over Pippin's head and switches on. A weird smile crosses his face.
"THAT'S IT!!" Pippin screams, jumping up on the table. They both begin to sing the Green Dragon drinking song mentioned in a previous chapter.
SKIP HALF AN HOUR....
"And you're sure Lego's not in his room?" Pippin says, looking around. He is now wearing, instead of his hobbit-y clothes, a black turtleneck and black cargo jeans. He says this into a walkie-talkie.
"Affirmative." Merry's voice comes out of the walkie-talkie.
"Operation Narcissus is go." Pippin replies.
Pippin expertly picks the lock to Leggy's room and sneaks in. He sees all these pictures of Elf girls, a picture of the Eye of Sauron, and lots of pictures of himself. He then sees a calendar that says, "Elf Chicks Bikini Edition". Pippin laughs like a maniac, and then stops when he hears a loud "SNORE!!" He jumps in fright, and then stifles laughs as he sees Legolas sucking his thumb and muttering something about "Finding Nemo". Needless to say, Leggy has been sleeping. Creeping over to the vanity, he sees the bottle of "Blonde at Heart Shampoo/Conditioner" and grabs it. He then places a bottle of "Rangerwear: all you need when you're out in the wild!" that has been placed in a bottle with a "Blonde at Heart" label and places it on the vanity. He also grabs the bottle of hair spray and sets up a spy camera. He then sneaks out.
BACK TO THE TIME WHEN THE STORY STARTED....
"EEK!!!" Legolas screams like a little girl. He has just noticed that his hair spray is missing. Slow, isn't he?
Watching from their top-secret monitoring room with TV screens, Merry and Pippin shriek in laughter. They klink glasses filled with iced tea in celebration.
"NO!! It can't be gone! I paid 20,000 Mirkwood Money for that!" Legolas screams, tearing apart his room. 20,000 Mirkwood Money is about 10,000 American dollars.
"Look at his face!!" Merry cackles evilly.
"Oh, well. When hair spray is no, conditioner's the way to go!" Legolas says happily as he squirts a ton of the conditioner on his head. This is the Rangerwear one, mind you. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------
A/N: PLEASE DON'T SPEAR ME, LEGOLAS FAN GIRLS!! I am not Shelly, the aforementioned fan girl. Feed me so I can write, do you want me to look like a human toothpick or something? God, all you cruel people out there! Review my other stories, too! No one ever does!!Anduril, Flame of the West