Arwen's gone off on a mission. Daddy has heard that Aragorn and a group of hobbits are coming towards us. Glorfindel was going to go and find them, but after his unfortunate accident, he's in no fit state to ride off on an adventure. I was longing to go, to get out of this dump. But as usual, Daddy chose his favourite. I was sure that I could persuade him on this issue. I just had to mention the fact that Arwen could be killed on such a dangerous mission and it was better to send the expendable child instead. Unfortunately, Daddy laughed and reminded me that I failed my horse studies exam when I was at school, and still traumatise any animal I touch. I suggested that I could walk instead, but he wouldn't hear of it. So Arwen's riding off into the sunset, and I'm supposed to smile and wave cheerily. Fat chance. I'm stuck behind with all her suitors At least now, they can't mistake me for Arwen.

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I don't believe it. They're still calling me Arwen. I reminded them politely that Arwen has gone (never to return, if I had my way) but they still don't get the message. How stupid can you get. I once thought that it would be fun having all Arwen's admirers instead of being alone in the corner. I thought that I'd get myself a husband in no time. Then I could shove my ring in her face. But it's no fun being nothing but a replica of my stupid sister. Why can't any of them respect me for who I am?

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Today I dyed my hair purple and wore a big baggy t-shirt with the words "I am Sardwen, not Arwen" written across in bright red letters. I got a lot of funny looks, then one elf said. "Are you having some sort of identity crisis Arwen, I preferred your hair brown."

I stormed off to re-dye my hair, leaving him struggling to remove the t-shirt I rammed over his head.

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It's so peaceful here without Arwen. I'm really enjoying myself. I'm in a good mood because Mithrandir has arrived. (He knows what it is like to be called the wrong name. After all, last time I counted his names I got to about 14. 'Gandalf' being the most used, but I prefer the elvish version of course!)

He is one of the few people in the world who can tell me and my twin apart. (without looking for the birthmark on her back). Not only that, he treats me as a total individual, not Arwen's replica. Shame he's a bit old for a husband.

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I was wondering about the possibility of actually pretending to be Arwen for a few moments. Just long enough for one of Arwen's suitors to propose and for me to accept. (Oh, and long enough for him to get me a lovely big engagement ring that I can shove up Arwen's nostrils for a change.) I was just considering Arwen's reaction when she returned, and if it would be worth the pain factor, when Mithrandir approached me.

"I wouldn't do it Sardwen" he muttered in my ear. "You'll find a husband of your own one day, one that will love you and not your sister. It's not worth the bother." I was gob smacked. Could he read my mind? Before I could ask him, he had gone. It's funny how he can disappear like that. He gave me something to think about though. Maybe looking for a husband just to spite my sister is not the best motive. But I'm reluctant to give up my resolution. We'll just have to see.

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Oh goodie, visitors! I get so bored stuck in this dump, it's nice to meet new people. It's a little annoying when they first arrive, all open mouthed and "Isn't this place beautiful" etc.. when they first see the waterfalls and woods. Especially when they tell me how lucky I am to live here. Huh. They should try staying here for 2777 years with Arwen as a sister. They'll soon change their minds.

Anyway, something important must be coming up because we have a load of dwarfs. (the less said, the better) Daddy must be the only elf around who lets them stay. I don't trust them myself.

There is a man from Gondor, a certain Boromir, he came because of some sort of dream. Well, if I copied my dreams, Arwen would have died years ago, in hundreds of painful circumstances.

Lastly there are some elves from Mirkwood. We don't see them very often, keep themselves to themselves. They are probably only bringing bad news anyway. Amongst them is their prince, Legolas Greenleaf. Very nice! But I won't get my hopes up. One glance at Arwen and he'll just be another brainwashed puppet like the rest of them.

Surely, one of them would do as a husband? At this rate, I'll never achieve those resolutions I made in back in solitary confinement.

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Found Legolas alone in the garden today. I decided to check out where I stood. Nothing too obvious, I didn't want to make a fool out of myself. Just a simple Archery lesson. (Well, he is supposed to be one of the best archers around.)

I conveniently "forgot" how to hold the bow correctly. (Don't get me wrong. Just holding the bow was the only thing I ever got good marks for at school. It was when we had to touch the arrows that things went wrong) So he had to show me.

Several times.

It was only after the sixth time my fingers strayed from the correct positions, (so that he had to reach his arms around me to put them back,) that he got annoyed.

We hadn't even picked up an arrow, but he stormed off, claiming that I was wasting his time. Honestly! I was very tempted to fire an arrow at his back as he strode across the lawn. But, knowing my aim, I would probably have hit Mithrandir who was watching intently from the top of the balcony.

Next I tried to break the bow over my knee in frustration. (I had seen someone do it before, probably the teacher who was supposed to be teaching me.)

I ended up with a torn dress and a very painful knee. (The bow was still whole)

So I threw it down on the ground (along with some choice phrases) and stormed off myself.

I never liked him much anyway. If he was going to die his hair, why didn't he do his eyebrows whilst he was at it? I'm going off to find Boromir. Maybe I'll have more luck there.

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Peace and tranquillity is over. Arwen has returned.

She brought a little halfling who was in a dreadful state. He'd been stabbed by a poisoned knife. Bother those Nazgûl. They got it wrong again. The one they meant to stab was standing in front of me gloating her head off.

Daddy took him straight to the medical wing. It's quite empty there now. Erestor has joined Glorfindel on the crutches. They both hobble down the corridor after the crowd that surrounds Arwen as she tells her story.

"....and so I took him in my arms and rode like the wind, my hair streaming out behind me. The Nazgûl chased for all they were worth, but they couldn't get near me..."

I couldn't get near her either. There was a huge crowd surrounding her. If I pushed hard enough, I might get close enough to shut her up. But it wasn't worth the bother. I left her talking about fords and rushing waves of water. Her followers were all sitting there open mouthed and gasping at her every word.

I felt quite sick to tell the truth

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Arwen annoyed me again this morning, so spitting with rage I set out to thoroughly annoy someone else.

I headed towards the medical wing and came across this little hobbit, Sam, guarding over the unconscious Frodo. I thought that he would make a good enough target to annoy for a while.

So, I sat next to the bed and took Frodo's hand. I muttered a load of mumbo-jumbo rubbish, whilst watching Sam's reaction. I wound him up even more, talking about the healing power of an Elf's hand, and how it was essential it was that I remained by Frodo's side. I even told him that if he touched Frodo, it would kill him. I think he believed the lot, but I've never seen anyone so jealous, it was very funny.

Unfortunately, Daddy came in and told me to get out. He has absolutely no sense of humour, I left him trying to calm down a distraught Sam.

I stormed out of the medical room and nearly ran into another hobbit. "How is he?" he asked. I grunted a reply and turned to walk on. He was still staring at me with a weird expression on his face. "Don't worry Arwen, we won't let those riders anywhere near you. You're quite safe. We'll soon rid you of this terrible enemy!" he called out. I was flabbergasted. As if that tiny little halfling could ever protect me from danger! Did he really believe what he was saying? He was the one in danger, of being flattened by me, for calling me by my sister's name.

Anyway, he hasn't rid me of my terrible enemy. Arwen is still here and just as poisonous as ever.

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This is the last straw. Daddy took me aside today and talked quietly about the unsuitability of hobbits for a husband. Just because I was holding Frodo's hand.....I couldn't believe he could be that stupid.