A/N: And now, more of this chapter entitled: "In which Legolas gets the TV crew, the Hobbits, Aragorn, Elrond, and Eowyn into major trouble, etc...." Uh, Faramir now has 6 votes, and Boromir has 1. On with the show!!!
As the tour group was in the cave, Legolas was cackling happily to himself. He had nearly succeeded in his plot to murder them all, so he could be king. Evil, isn't he?
"Yes, and once they're dead, then I'll RULE THE WORLD!!" He screamed. Walking back to the trolley, he happily munched on a ham and bologna sandwich.
Meanwhile, in the cave.....
"OHMIGOD WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!" Eowyn shrieked.
"OHMIGOD I'LL NEVER SEE MINAS TIRITH AGAIN!!!" Boromir screamed into the microphone for the camera.
"NO I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!!!" Normally Lego would say this but since he's not here, it passes to the other elf, Elrond. Elrond screamed this into Sam's ear.
"NO, MY EARS! YOU CREEPY ELF! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM???" Sam screamed at Elrond, except he screamed it in Pippin's ears.
"WHAT IS YOUR FREAKIN' PROBLEM, SAM??" Pippin screamed, meaning it for Sam but instead screaming it in Aragorn's ear.
"WHAT THE HELL, PIPPIN?!!" Aragorn screamed into Faramir's ear.
"WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU, ARAGORN?" Faramir said, yelling into Merry's ear.
"FARAMIR YOU IDIOT! THAT HURT!!" Merry yelled, and Gandalf received the full blast of it.
"WHAT IS YOUR FUCKIN' PROBLEM, MERIADOC BRANDYBUCK?" He yelled, and by now everyone got yelled at and got their ears yelled into. Everyone was amazed that Gandalf swore.
"I'm sick of this. Let's find out what this cave is." Boromir says, getting to his feet.
"It's dark, you idiot! How're we supposed to see anything?" Faramir contradicted.
"Let there be light." Boromir says, and suddenly the cave they were in was filled with light.
"Whoa..." Pippin says, and got up.
"Dude, that's bright!" Merry says, shielding his eyes.
Everyone else gets up and looks at Boromir, who is glowing.
"How'd you do that?" Sam asks, looking at Boromir.
"Uh, in all honesty I really don't know." Boromir says.
Suddenly, a crunching noise is heard from inside the cave. The group moves to check it out.
"What is that?" Merry asks.
"Why do you think we're following the sound? So we can find out!!" Pippin yells at Merry, having his occasional flash of brilliance.
Everyone stares at Pippin, who has just supplied the most logic this chapter has seen so far.
"How did you know that?" Gandalf says.
"Well, due to the fact that the sound waves from this object are unbeknownst to our ears, and at the rate they are traveling, approximately 2.5 miles per second, they reach our ears approximately 3.5 minutes after they are emitted from the creature making the noise, we are held in the dark unknowing of what that noise is. This means that as we progress further into the cave, the sounds will get louder, approximately at the rate of an increase of 1 percent of volume per 1 minute, and therefore, as the creature is approximately 5.9 miles in to the cave, and we are going at a pace of 2 miles a minute, we can herby say that we shall reach the source of the noise in about 5 minutes and .0012 seconds, thereby finding out what the noise is and what is emitting it." Pippin says.
Everyone in the cave looks at him. Their jaws are hanging open, and no one in the world knows how Pippin knew that. No one.
"Pip, how in tarnation did you know that?" Elrond asks.
"Uh, I didn't." Pip says.
"Well, what were those words coming from your mouth?" Aragorn says.
"That was my theorem." Pip says.
"No, it would be your theory." Merry says. "A theorem is in algebra. The Pythagorean Theorem, for example."
"The Pyromaniac Theorem?" Boromir asks.
"No, Pythagorean." Merry says.
"Pyromainian." Boromir says.
"No, foolish idiot!" Merry says, cuffing Boromir on the head.
"PYTHAGOREAN!!!!" Pippin screams, to the amazement of all.
"Oh, Pythagorean." Boromir says.
"How do Hobbits know these things?" Eowyn asks. The crunching sound is heard again.
"Uh, perhaps we should go check that out." Elrond says.
"No, really?" Faramir says.
They start walking. Without their noticing, Boromir's glow is slowly fading. Faramir and Pippin are talking, and get separated from the group. Boromir and Merry are talking and also get separated. Aragorn and Eowyn get separated, along with Sam and Elrond. Gandalf is the only one who is not talking to someone and therefore doesn't get separated. Suddenly, Boromir comes to the realization that he and Merry are not with the group.
"Uh, where are we, son of Gondor?" Merry asks.
"Why does everyone call me that? Was Gondor my mom and dad? NO, they weren't! It was Denethor and Finduilas!! DENETHOR AND FINDUILAS!!!" Boromir screams.
"God, the fact that Denethor could have found a wife amazes me to no end!" Merry says
"What?"
"Nothing."
"I AM NOT THE SON OF GONDOR!!!"
"Calm down! It's an honorary title, anyway!!" Merry says, as he slumps to the floor.
"Aww, I'm sorry little Hobbit dude. Son of...the Shire." Boromir says.
"Son of the Shire?"
"Yeah."
"This is awful! I'd kill someone to get out of this situation!" Merry says bitterly.
"And some people would kill you to be in this situation. Next to the Son of Gondor, also called Boromir...in the dark...." Boromir says.
"EW!! That's vile! That's putrid! That's nasty!" Merry shrieks.
"What? That's the truth! Isn't it, ladies?" Boromir asks.
A/N: Well, once again there is a cliffhanger ending. And here's another question. Isn't it the truth that you'd kill Merry to be in his position? Well, whatever. Soon, we shall find out what happens to Pippin and Faramir, and all the rest who are stuck in this cave. And I am not sure if Pippin's Theory is correct, seeing as how I'm bad at math. It was meant for fun and not to teach you anything. Uh, let's sing the song about reviewing, shall we? Erm, or not....
As the tour group was in the cave, Legolas was cackling happily to himself. He had nearly succeeded in his plot to murder them all, so he could be king. Evil, isn't he?
"Yes, and once they're dead, then I'll RULE THE WORLD!!" He screamed. Walking back to the trolley, he happily munched on a ham and bologna sandwich.
Meanwhile, in the cave.....
"OHMIGOD WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!" Eowyn shrieked.
"OHMIGOD I'LL NEVER SEE MINAS TIRITH AGAIN!!!" Boromir screamed into the microphone for the camera.
"NO I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!!!" Normally Lego would say this but since he's not here, it passes to the other elf, Elrond. Elrond screamed this into Sam's ear.
"NO, MY EARS! YOU CREEPY ELF! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM???" Sam screamed at Elrond, except he screamed it in Pippin's ears.
"WHAT IS YOUR FREAKIN' PROBLEM, SAM??" Pippin screamed, meaning it for Sam but instead screaming it in Aragorn's ear.
"WHAT THE HELL, PIPPIN?!!" Aragorn screamed into Faramir's ear.
"WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU, ARAGORN?" Faramir said, yelling into Merry's ear.
"FARAMIR YOU IDIOT! THAT HURT!!" Merry yelled, and Gandalf received the full blast of it.
"WHAT IS YOUR FUCKIN' PROBLEM, MERIADOC BRANDYBUCK?" He yelled, and by now everyone got yelled at and got their ears yelled into. Everyone was amazed that Gandalf swore.
"I'm sick of this. Let's find out what this cave is." Boromir says, getting to his feet.
"It's dark, you idiot! How're we supposed to see anything?" Faramir contradicted.
"Let there be light." Boromir says, and suddenly the cave they were in was filled with light.
"Whoa..." Pippin says, and got up.
"Dude, that's bright!" Merry says, shielding his eyes.
Everyone else gets up and looks at Boromir, who is glowing.
"How'd you do that?" Sam asks, looking at Boromir.
"Uh, in all honesty I really don't know." Boromir says.
Suddenly, a crunching noise is heard from inside the cave. The group moves to check it out.
"What is that?" Merry asks.
"Why do you think we're following the sound? So we can find out!!" Pippin yells at Merry, having his occasional flash of brilliance.
Everyone stares at Pippin, who has just supplied the most logic this chapter has seen so far.
"How did you know that?" Gandalf says.
"Well, due to the fact that the sound waves from this object are unbeknownst to our ears, and at the rate they are traveling, approximately 2.5 miles per second, they reach our ears approximately 3.5 minutes after they are emitted from the creature making the noise, we are held in the dark unknowing of what that noise is. This means that as we progress further into the cave, the sounds will get louder, approximately at the rate of an increase of 1 percent of volume per 1 minute, and therefore, as the creature is approximately 5.9 miles in to the cave, and we are going at a pace of 2 miles a minute, we can herby say that we shall reach the source of the noise in about 5 minutes and .0012 seconds, thereby finding out what the noise is and what is emitting it." Pippin says.
Everyone in the cave looks at him. Their jaws are hanging open, and no one in the world knows how Pippin knew that. No one.
"Pip, how in tarnation did you know that?" Elrond asks.
"Uh, I didn't." Pip says.
"Well, what were those words coming from your mouth?" Aragorn says.
"That was my theorem." Pip says.
"No, it would be your theory." Merry says. "A theorem is in algebra. The Pythagorean Theorem, for example."
"The Pyromaniac Theorem?" Boromir asks.
"No, Pythagorean." Merry says.
"Pyromainian." Boromir says.
"No, foolish idiot!" Merry says, cuffing Boromir on the head.
"PYTHAGOREAN!!!!" Pippin screams, to the amazement of all.
"Oh, Pythagorean." Boromir says.
"How do Hobbits know these things?" Eowyn asks. The crunching sound is heard again.
"Uh, perhaps we should go check that out." Elrond says.
"No, really?" Faramir says.
They start walking. Without their noticing, Boromir's glow is slowly fading. Faramir and Pippin are talking, and get separated from the group. Boromir and Merry are talking and also get separated. Aragorn and Eowyn get separated, along with Sam and Elrond. Gandalf is the only one who is not talking to someone and therefore doesn't get separated. Suddenly, Boromir comes to the realization that he and Merry are not with the group.
"Uh, where are we, son of Gondor?" Merry asks.
"Why does everyone call me that? Was Gondor my mom and dad? NO, they weren't! It was Denethor and Finduilas!! DENETHOR AND FINDUILAS!!!" Boromir screams.
"God, the fact that Denethor could have found a wife amazes me to no end!" Merry says
"What?"
"Nothing."
"I AM NOT THE SON OF GONDOR!!!"
"Calm down! It's an honorary title, anyway!!" Merry says, as he slumps to the floor.
"Aww, I'm sorry little Hobbit dude. Son of...the Shire." Boromir says.
"Son of the Shire?"
"Yeah."
"This is awful! I'd kill someone to get out of this situation!" Merry says bitterly.
"And some people would kill you to be in this situation. Next to the Son of Gondor, also called Boromir...in the dark...." Boromir says.
"EW!! That's vile! That's putrid! That's nasty!" Merry shrieks.
"What? That's the truth! Isn't it, ladies?" Boromir asks.
A/N: Well, once again there is a cliffhanger ending. And here's another question. Isn't it the truth that you'd kill Merry to be in his position? Well, whatever. Soon, we shall find out what happens to Pippin and Faramir, and all the rest who are stuck in this cave. And I am not sure if Pippin's Theory is correct, seeing as how I'm bad at math. It was meant for fun and not to teach you anything. Uh, let's sing the song about reviewing, shall we? Erm, or not....