"Just will yourself to do it," Zojikoe said, setting his cheek on his hand and bracing his arm on his knee. "That's it, that's all. You just will yourself to do it." Mezzen frowned in consternation.
"I don't understand," he said. "How do you will something."
"I . . . you just do," Zoe replied, just as frustrated. "You just . . . you want it to happen, and then it does. That's willing something. You need to . . . to . . . to believe it'll happen, and then it will. Are you following me at all?"
"Yes?" Mezzen ventured, then abruptly shook his head. "No. No, I'm not. Is it like pretending?"
"Kind of," Zoe answered, "but not really. If you're pretending something you don't believe it. But if you will something then you do believe it, and that's the important part." Mezzen looked unconvinced.
"Isn't there like . . . a spell or something? Magic words? Or . . . or pretty lights, or something? Like when Rose heals me?"
"No Mezzen," Zoe said for what felt like the fiftieth time. "You just will it, and it happens."
"What if I can't?" Mezzen demanded.
"You can," Zoe replied patiently. "You're a drow. All drow can. They just can. It's innate."
"What's –"
"It's something that you're born with. That's a part of you. All drow have a bit of magic inside them, and that's what lets them levitate."
"Dil'andau can't levitate," Mezzen pointed out.
"Dil'andau is a big, mean, idiot who's probably too weighed down by the rocks in his head to levitate anywhere," Zoe replied easily. "I already told you, Dil is the exact opposite of everything the Drow are. Now, are you going to levitate or not?" Mezzen shifted his weight uncertainly.
"Can you explain the willing thing again?"
Rose and Ka sat several feet away and idly watched the lesson. Ka grinned as Zoe dropped his head into his hands and shook it, and Mezzen cocked his head and looked at him expectantly.
"Doesn't look like it's going too well for him, does it?" She asked, looking over at Rose, who continued petting her cat and ignored her. Ka blew a stray piece of hair out of her eyes and frowned at the priestess. "Rose? Hey! Rose?"
"I'm still not talking to you," Rose answered flatly before returning to ignoring the psion. Ka frowned at her.
"You're not still mad about that whole me selling your kid thing are you?" She asked. "Dammit, Rose, that was two days ago!" Rose's head whipped around and she narrowed her eyes into slits.
"I'm going to stab you now," she said, her hand going for her knife. Ka blinked and nodded slowly.
"Fair enough," she said, then scrambled to her feet just in time to avoid the tip of Rose's knife, leaving the priestess to her thoughts, which weren't as unpleasant as her briskness with Ka may have suggested. She had, after all, already reasoned a way out of Ka's stupid deal with the stupid tentacled freaks that inhabited her brain. When she and Zoe did have a kid, she'd just steal someone else's and give that instead. There was no way she was going to give up one of her own.
Maybe it'll be Ka's kid I steal. The thought brought a smile to her lips. Would serve the pushy little psion and her brain-dead, map-losing boyfriend right. She sighed to herself and attempted to shove her bitterness to the side. Pushy and brain-dead or not, she still had a long way to travel with them and if the going wasn't going to become unbearable she'd have to (at least temporarily) forgive and forget a lot of things. Fact of the matter was, the group still needed every member they had to survive and there was no way around that.
Freaks though they may be.
You can kill them later, she told herself, running her fingers idly through Slayer's short fur. When you're the Matron Mother of the most powerful house in Ched Nasad – No! The Underdark! And Zoe can be the House Mage, and Mezzen can be the Weapons Master. He'll grow up into the best damn fighter (fighter-mage, she corrected herself) the Drow have ever seen, and he'll be yours. Your son.
Yours and Zoe's.
She blinked at the thought and squinted at Zojikoe as though it had been his fault she'd thought it.
Truth of the matter was (though whether she was pleased, neutral or unimpressed with the fact she had yet to decide) the thought was not new to her. She'd always kinda liked Zoe – though at first that had been purely situational. It was Zoe or Ka. And then Zoe or Dil, or Ka. And the choice there was more than obvious – but at some point (and she knew exactly when) recently that had shifted subtly and she had begun considering a more than situational relationship with the mage.
She didn't know many drowesses with mages for lovers, but if all mages were like Zoe then she had a feeling her gender was missing out by going for the big guys.
Definitely missing out, she added, wrinkling her nose as Dil'andau and Ka reappeared from around the bend.
It had been the bath that had done it for her. She had never seen Zoe that frightened in all the time she'd known him – not even with the illithids. At first he had simply stood on the edge of the water while she stripped herself off (and instructed Mezzen to do so as well) and stared at the ceiling, the floor, anywhere but at her. She was knee deep in the water (waist deep for Mezzen) before she had realized he hadn't followed. She turned to look and raised an eyebrow at him.
"Well?" She'd demanded crisply. Zoe had swallowed thickly and looked at her, struggling to keep his gaze on her face. "Let's go, Zoe. How are we supposed to show him the difference between males and females without a male?" The mage had cast a pathetic look around, as though unsure of whether or not she was talking to him, before stripping himself off and wading out to join them (blushing beet red by the time he got out there).
And truth be told he hadn't looked half as bad as she'd expected. A little on the skinny side maybe, but not emaciated, and the weeks they'd spent traveling had not exactly done him any harm appearance-wise.
Mezzen had had all sorts of questions that day and Zoe had looked like the kid couldn't have picked a worse time for a fit of curiosity. All he had wanted to do was end the lesson and the bath and get himself dressed again. At first Rose had bordered on offence, taking his reluctance as some kind of personal rejection, but the fact that his eyes kept stealing of their own accord back to her belied that and it hadn't taken her long to realize what, exactly, his problem was.
He was awkward, and uncomfortable, and embarrassed, as though he was a nothing but a young schoolboy getting his first look at a female's body.
And perhaps, at heart, he was.
It was at once the most frustrating, wearisome, and endearing thing she'd ever seen in her life. He had been more embarrassed about the whole thing than Mezzen had been (she was starting to think the boy had no shame, and had said as much only to have Mezzen ask what shame was).
Apparently they sheltered their boys at Sorcere and Zoe was no exception. He might not be her first, but she had a feeling she would his. That was attractive in and of itself.
Her thoughts were interrupted suddenly by a startled cry followed shortly by a splash. She blinked and straightened, forcing her thoughts back to the real world. Mezzen was sitting in the water, drenched to the bone, and trembling (whether with sobs or cold or anger she couldn't tell). Zoe was rushing over to him through the water and Dil'andau was on the shore laughing almost as hard as Zoe had been when he'd found out that Dil couldn't levitate.
"What happened?" Rose demanded, getting to her feet and walking over. Mezzen sucked in his breath but didn't take his narrowed eyes off of Dil'andau.
"I did it," he hissed. "I finally did it and . . . and . . . and he threw a rock at me a-and I forgot to . . . to will it and I fell." His eyes narrowed further at Dil's laughter. "Son a bitch of."
"Son of a bitch, Mezzen," Zoe corrected him without thinking. Rose slapped the back of his head and frowned darkly at him.
"Mezzen, don't swear," she said flatly and then added, loud enough for Dil'andau to hear: "And don't worry about Dil. He's just jealous because you can levitate and he can't." He held out her hand as Dil'andau's laughter stopped abruptly. "Now come on. Let's go dry you off. I think we should be moving on anyway. We've rested long enough." Mezzen took her hand and climbed unsteadily to his feet, casting a malevolent glare at Dil'andau as they passed. The fighter just smirked at him.
"Try me some time, kid," he said smugly. "Just try me. I dare you. We'll see how long you last." Mezzen clenched his fist and turned away as Zoe stepped between Dil'andau and his line of sight.
***
It wasn't until that evening when they'd stopped once again to set up camp for the night that Dil'andau noticed it missing. He turned around from tearing apart his pack and bedroll and glared at Ka.
"All right, Ka," he said flatly, "give it back." She frowned at him as she crawled into her own bedroll. Across from her Rose was settling a sleepy Mezzen into her blankets and Zoe was already in bed.
"Give what back?" She demanded. He crossed his arms and frowned.
"Don't play stupid," he said flatly. "Give it back."
"Dil, I don't have anything of yours," she said just as flatly. "Shut up and go to sleep."
"You're the only other one who takes it!" He cried. "Give it back to me!"
"For Lloth's sake, is this about that goddess damned stick again?!" Zoe growled from the depths of his blankets. "Ka, just give it back to him. You're gonna keep Mezzen up."
Mezzen, however, had perked almost instantly awake at the word stick.
"I don't have his stupid stick," Ka replied with a frown. "He took it back from me yesterday and I've been too lazy to steal it back again."
"That's bullshit!" Dil'andau cried. "If you don't have it, then where is it?!"
"How am I supposed to know?!" Ka demanded. "It's your stick! Where'd you keep it last?"
"I put it right here with my stuff when I went down to get a drink of water," the fighter growled, panic growing in his voice now. He started throwing stuff around, trying to find it. Mezzen made a face and just managed to dodge a pair of dirty pants. Zojikoe wasn't so lucky. "I left it right here! Right fucking here!"
"Dil'andau!" Rose snapped. "Language."
"I don't care about language!" He cried. "My sti– My halberd's missing!" He whirled around. "Well don't just sit there!" He cried. "Help me find it!" His party continued to stare at him and not react. He narrowed his eyes. "If I don't have that stick," he growled, "I can't very well fight now can I? And I'm the only one here who can fight if we're attacked by something, or we run out of supplies and need to hunt, or anything else that involves hitting things and making them dead with something sharp and pointy, then I can't do it, without my stick." As one, the other three blinked and then pushed themselves to their feet.
"Ka, do you –" Zoe started, but she cut him off as she shoved Dil'andau over roughly and started going through his things again.
"I told you, I don't," she said flatly. "Shut up and look, Zoe." Zoe muttered something and turned to look through Ka's things anyway, but Dil'andau was in his way.
"Hey, move," he said unpleasantly, wanting nothing more than to sleep and not be up looking for the stupid drow's stupid stick. He couldn't even swear about the situation because Mezzen was there, grinning widely at the whole situation. "Dil'andau!" He snapped. "Move!" But the big warrior did not budge. He simply stood there and stared, unblinkingly at Mezzen's wide grin. His face twisted into a knot of hatred and he pointed at the little boy.
"You," he snarled. "What did you do with my halberd?!" Rose rolled her eyes and made a tsk noise.
"For love of Lloth, Dil'andau, he's just a –" But even her voice died off when she spotted the grin on Mezzen's face. "Mezzen?" She asked, perplexed. "Do you know what happened to Dil'andau's stick?"
"It's a halberd," he whined, but it was half-hearted, his eyes still locked on Mezzen's vindictive face.
"'Say why again, you stupid, stupid kid,'" Mezzen mimicked spitefully. "Not so tough without your stupid stick, are you?" He demanded, climbing to his feet and glaring at Dil'andau. "Not so quick to pick on little kids and attack them and be mean to them and call them names without your stupid little stick, are you?! Are you?!" He demanded, his voice rising with every word.
"Mezzen!" Rose said reprovingly. Mezzen's eyes slid over to Rose's and the grin was gone, replaced with an innocent, he-gave-me-no-choice look.
"He dared me, Rose!" He cried. "He did! He dared me to try him, so I did!" He looked back at Dil'andau and the vindictive expression was back.
"WHERE IS IT?!" Dil'andau thundered, leaping at Mezzen. This time, however, Mezzen was ready for him He scrambled underneath the warrior's reach and spun around behind him, kicking him behind his knees and sending him tumbling to the ground.
"Dil!" Ka gasped rushing over to him. Mezzen shook with suppressed excitement and triumph. He pointed at Dil.
"If you try and attack me again I swear to . . . to . . . I swear to . . ." He cast a desperate look at Rose who was looking at him with an appraising expression.
"Lloth," she supplied.
"I swear to Lloth," he finished, "that I'll hold my breath until I pass out and then you'll never know where your stupid stick is!"
"Nice finish," Zoe muttered with a sigh. "We'll have to work on that." Rose elbowed him.
"You little –" Dil moved as though to lunge at him again, but Mezzen made good on his threat and closed his eyes, sucked in his breath and held it. Dil screamed in frustration, but stopped his advance. Mezzen opened one eye to see if he was still going for him and then released his breath in a rush.
"Where's my halberd," Dil growled, glaring at the little boy. Mezzen smirked at him.
"Not until you take back all the nasty things you said about me, and about Zoe," he said, crossing his arms. "And then you have to tell Zoe that he's the best, most talented person that you have ever met and that he's a trillion bazillion gazillion times better than you'll ever be." He paused and thought about. "And that you're a stupid moron."
"What?!" Dil shrieked. "I'm not saying that!!"
"Then I'm not telling you where your stick is," Mezzen replied. Dil hit the ground with his fist and moved to jump him again but stopped when Mezzen sucked in his breath to hold it. He didn't doubt for a second that the little shit would make good on his threat and pass himself right the hell out. He growled and clenched his fists.
"Fine," he said. "I take it back. I take it all back. Now where's my stick?"
"No. You have to say the rest of it." Dil's eyes narrowed exponentially and he hissed the words out through clenched teeth.
"Zoe is a stupid fucker who –"
"That's not what you're supposed to say!" Mezzen cried shrilly. "I'll hold my breath! I'll do it!"
"Zoe is the best, m-most talented, piece of cra–" Mezzen sucked in his breath "– person," Dil corrected himself, "that I have ever met."
"And?" Zoe asked with a raised eyebrow. Rose elbowed him again.
"And he's a trillion bazillion gazillion times better than I'll ever be."
"And?" Ka asked. Dil rounded on her.
"Whose side are you on?!" He cried.
"The side that gets you your stick back and us our bodyguard, now finish doing what the kid says, Dil, he's holding his breath."
"AndI'mastupidmoron," Dil said in a rush.
"Pardon?" Mezzen asked, grinning.
"And I'm a stupid moron," Dil finished in a growl. "Now where's. My. Stick." Mezzen's grin grew wider.
"I chucked it in the water," he said with a grin. Dil squeaked with sudden panic and bolted past the whole party, throwing himself into the water as though his life depended on it, screaming obscenities and insanities back over his shoulder at Mezzen the whole time. Zoe had started laughing, and Rose looked as though she was trying to decide if she should do anything about the whole situation. Ka, however, was still watching the kid.
That was the single, meanest thing she'd ever seen anyone do to Dil – herself included, and she'd done a lot of mean things to Dil, but somehow, if her interpretation of Mezzen's grin was correct, she didn't think his trick was over. She moved over to the boy, who was grinning at the sight of Dil thrashing about in the water looking for his halberd and frowned down at him.
"His stick's not in the water, is it Mezzen?" She demanded. Mezzen ignored her. "Is it?!" She repeated louder. He continued to ignore her. She narrowed her eyes and reached out with her mind, grabbing his and sifting through it for the information she wanted. He glared at her in irritation out of the corner of his eyes and she suddenly found herself quite violently thrown out of his head. She stumbled back a step and stared at him, her eyes growing wide with disbelief.
He just blocked me! She gasped mentally. He just . . . he can't have! That means . . . that means he's . . . he's . . . he's . . .
Well, Rain chimed in dryly. Isn't this an interesting turn of events? A second psion in the group . . . Ka didn't even bother to reply. She couldn't between her own shouted insanities that leapt from her mouth as she lunged at the kid. He gasped in surprise and turned to her just as she wrapped her hands up in his shirt and lifted him into the air, slamming him back against the wall of the cave. He screamed in fright and immediately started struggling in her grasp.
"ROSE!" He shrieked. "ZOE! HELP! HELP ME!" She shook him and he screamed again and started crying.
"You little rat!" She cried, glaring at him as he stared back at her with a terrified expression. "Don't you ever, EVER do that again! EVER! NO ONE denies me that, you understand me?! Next time you block me like that I will PERSONALLY fuck you UP!"
"GET HIM KA!" Dil'andau cried from the water. "GET HIM!"
"KA!" Zoe shrieked, leaping at her. He grabbed the back of her coat and struggled to pull her away from his adopted son.
"Let him go!" Rose cried, trying to pry Mezzen out of her grasp. "DAMMIT KA! LET HIM GO!" Zoe finally managed to pull her away and struggled to pull her farther despite her efforts to lunge back at him.
"He's a PSION!" She shrieked. "The kid is a PSION!" Rose clutched Mezzen tightly and backed up against the wall, pressing his face into her shoulder. Mezzen sobbed in terror.
"What's a psion?!" He cried. "What did I do?! Is it a disease?! Is it contagious?! Am I gonna die?!" Ka screamed again and almost escaped Zoe's grasp, which caused Mezzen to scream again and clutch at Rose tighter, seeking protection in her arms. "Keep her away!"
"Ka!" Zoe growled, trying to control his sister. "What the Hell's the matter with you?!" By this time Dil'andau had rejoined the group – quite halberdless – and was grinning like a cat. "Take her, hold her still," Zoe ordered, shoving Ka at him.
"Why?" Dil'andau demanded. "Let her kill the little rat."
"DIL'ANDAU!" Rose and Zojikoe both shouted at him. He rolled his eyes and grabbed Ka by the shoulders, easily holding the trembling Psion in place.
"Geez," he muttered. "No need to get touchy." Looking at them a moment longer to reassure himself that Dil would hold Ka still, Zoe turned back to Rose and walked up to where she was stroking Mezzen's hair reassuringly.
"Is he hurt?" He asked in concern. She shook her head.
"Just scared I think," she said.
"Where's my stick?!" Dil'andau demanded from behind him. Rose and Zoe glared at him nastily enough that he shrank back under the duel gaze but Mezzen pointed miserably at Rose's blankets.
"I h-hid it in . . . in there," he hiccupped. "W-who c-cares about your . . . your stupid st-stick, a-anyway!" That said he buried his face in Rose's neck again. Dil'andau shoved Ka to the side and dove for Rose's blankets, tearing them off and grabbing his stick from under them, hugging it tightly.
"Mother of spiders," Ka muttered, glaring at the fighter from where she'd fallen on her ass. "Sometimes I think you like that stick more than me." Dil'andau glared back over at her.
"Sometimes I do," he responded, still irritated at what the kid had done. Ka (also still irritated at what the kid had done) narrowed her eyes at him.
"Yeah?" She demanded. "Well why don't you have sex with it next time instead of with me!"
You know, Rain said mentally, I could have sworn you didn't want your other friends to know about that . . . Ka blinked in surprise and horror and whipped her head around to where Zoe and Rose had stopped comforting Mezzen and were staring at her with looks of mingled shock, nausea and disgust. Mezzen sniffled.
"W-what's sex?"