A/N: Hmm, some reviews have come in, but the poor authoress has been whiling away at her computer typing and no one cares. Well, that's a fine how do you do! Grrr. So, review so I can hand out free stuff. Let's see, I handed out burgers, rhubarb pie, and fries. I think I'll hand out...tickets to be with Legolas in a hot tub! You can't refuse that one!

Meanwhile, outside...well, you know, the cave...

More of Legolas's hair has been falling out. Little golden clumps are lying on the forest floor. More bald spots are on his head. The idiot—I mean, the rather attractive Elvish Prince—has not noticed. How thick could you get?

Meanwhile, in the cave...

Gandalf has assumed the fetal position and has been muttering to himself.

"I am sixteen going on seventeen...The hills are alive...Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious...yaddatadda...." Gandalf says, rocking back and forth.

Suddenly, a rock being kicked his way snaps him out of his insanity.

"AIII!! THE ALIENS HAVE FOUND ME!! AIIIII!" He screams.

"Gandalf?" Asks a glowing Boromir and a confused Merry.

"My friends!"

"Let's go find the others!" And off they go!

They soon come upon the others, and I would not relate the events that happened, due to the fact that they make rather boring story lines. Faramir and Pippin were found right before Faramir strangled Pippin; they found Sam and Elrond, who was sobbing hysterically.

"Wait! Shouldn't we find out where Aragorn and Eowyn are?" Faramir asks.

"Uh, little bro, maybe you shouldn't see...what...they...are...erm, doing?" Boromir asks.

"What?" Faramir asks.

"I mean...erm..." Boromir says.

"Are you implying that I can't have..." Faramir starts, before the whole group yells, "PG-13!!"

"I mean, are you implying that I won't be able to have children?" Faramir asks.

"Erm, I wouldn't go that far..."

"Well, ok, Mr. Eunuch, here's to you!" Faramir screams, and kicks Boromir in the groin with tremendous force.

"Did that hurt?"

"Yes...it...did." Moans Boromir, rolling on the cave floor.

"Oh. Funny." Faramir says, while Sam is looking at the group confused and everyone else looks at the sky.

"Wait! We're in a cave. There is no sky." Pippin says. Everyone is so shocked at Pip's intellectual skills in this story that they are about to faint.

"Why does Pip have all the good ideas? I should! I'm the son of the Steward!" Boromir pouts.

"Well, yeah, but you're dead."

"Shut up, Faramir."

"You shut up, Bori!"

"FARI!!"

"BORI!!"

"FARI!!"

"BORI!!"

"FARI!!"

"BORI!!"

"FARI!"

"SHUT UP!!!" Screamed Aragorn.

"FineSorryAragorn." Muttered Faramir.

"I'mNotSorryButWhatever." Murmured Boromir.

"WAIT!! How'd you get here?" It has just dawned on them that Aragorn was not with them in the previous moments.

"I, erm, teleported, ah, here." Aragorn says.

"Whoa! You look chunky!" Merry says.

"Oh, thanks."

"Is that a mushroom??" Pip asks.

"Erm, yes, it appears to be so!" Aragorn says.

"GIMME!!" Pip screams.

"No! Pip!" Merry says.

"Halfling!" Boromir says, grabbing Pip's leg.

"Leggo! LEGGO!!" Pip screams.

"Lego? Where's he?" Asks Aragorn.

"No! LEGGO!" Pip yells.

"Where?"

"LEGGO MY EGGO!" Elrond says.

"..."

"What?"

"..."

"Guys?"

"Erm...Elrond?"

"Yes, would-be-son-in-law?"

"Can you erm, back away?"

"From?"

"The giant spider behind you?"

"AIIIII!!!"

Elrond faints as everyone else pulls their swords.

"Die!" Aragorn and Boromir yell.

Heroicaly, they charge at the spider. They stab the spider and it dies.

"Well."

They suddenly hear that crunching sound.

"Let's go check it out!" Faramir says.

"Ooh, great idea!" Boromir sarcastically says.

"Hey, why're you so mean?"

"Because I am. It's the way life is!"

"Shut up, Bori!"

"FARI!"

"BORI!!"

"FARI!!!"

"BORI!!!!"

"FARI!!!!!"

"BORI!!!!!!"

"FARI!!!!!!!"

"BORI!!!!!!!!"

And on and on it went...until Aragorn placed duct tape over their mouths.

"Mmph!"

"Uhmph! Pphme!!"

"What?"

"Don't ridicule them, Aragorn." Says Sam.

Elrond has woken up and is running around.

"Wait!"

"What, Elrond?"

"Let's find out that noise!"

"OK!" and off they go...

Elrond is leading them, with Aragorn behind. Merry and Pippin are leading the duct taped Boromir and Faramir, and Sam is bringing up the rear with Gandalf. Suddenly, they realize the path they are taking is sloping downwards.

"Aren't we supposed to go upwards?" Pip asks.

"Hey, I'm the ranger, not you!" Aragorn retorts.

"Sorry."

They suddenly see a light at the end of a tunnel!

"OH, NO! WE'VE ALL DIED!" Aragorn screams.

"Where's Eowyn?"

"Good question."

"Weren't you with her?"

"Well, I was, until a rock fell on her head and put her into a coma."

"And how'd she pop into this conversation?"

"I don't know. Good question."

"Who even brought her up?"

"Yeah, really!"

They approach the end of the tunnel and come upon a door! Faramir and Boromir rip off the duct tape from their mouths.

"Look, a door!" Says Faramir.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Boromir says.

"Shut up, Bori."

"You shut up, Fari!"

"BORI!"

"FARI!!"

"BORI!!!"

"FARI!!!!"

"BORI!!!!!"

"FARI!!!!!!"

"Let's open it!" Elrond says, ignoring the two arguing. However, their yells make the others not able to hear him. But Aragorn again duct tapes their mouths. Faramir and Boromir rip the tape off, promising not to yell. They head towards the door.

"Are we gonna open it?" Asks Sam.

They do so, despite the fact that they don't know what's behind it or anything.

"Oh...my...God!" Sam exclaims.

It was at this moment that the All-Mighty Authoress remembered that this story lacked a few main characters! So with a modification to the plot, presto!

"Gimli?"

"Gollum?"

"Frodo?"

"Galadriel?"

"Haldir?"

"Theoden?"

"Father?"

For around a circular table sit, indeed, Gimli, Gollum, Frodo, Galadriel, Haldir, and Denethor.

"DADDY!" Shrieks Boromir.

Faramir rolls his eyes.

"Look! Another door!" Says Merry.

"No, really?" Asks Aragorn sarcastically.

"Look! Gimli's got our salted pork!" Merry exclaims.

"GET IT!!" Pip yells.

Merry and Pippin proceed to steal Gimli's salted pork. He chases after them with an axe and they manage to escape. As they walk out, the people at the table just sit there.

"Are you coming?" Asks Aragorn.

"No. We get paid to sit here and make crunching sounds."

"Really, now? Can I apply?" Asks Sam.

"No, besides, it's reserved for, um, people who, er, well...I mean no." Frodo says.

"Out, ssstupid fat hobbit." Gollum sneers.

"Fine." Sam sobs.

They all walk out, minus the people at the table, and once again emerge into the sunlight. And so ends the Lost In A Cave Series.

A/N: well, this chapter seemed long, although I guess it wasn't. Must have been the two word sentences. Well, whatever. Review so I can write more! Long chapters rule! Whoo!