"Uuwa?" The ridiculous looking bird cocked its head and peered at her through curious, sleepy eyes. Kirisstind scowled at it, the expression making her already deformed face even more hideous. She slashed at it in irritation with her sword. It squawked and hobbled away, feathers flying from its wounded wing. "Uuwaa!" It squawked, glaring at her as it hopped, flapping its wings in a pathetic imitation of flight. "Uuwaa!" She leaned down and picked up a rock, chucking it at the bird as hard as she could and pegging it in the head. It's head rolled back and it staggered to the side, still hopping and flapping and Uuwaing in a loud voice. More feathers fell.
"RUN you stupid thing!" Kirisstind growled, throwing another rock. This one it dodged and shot her a baleful look.
"UUWA!" It screamed at her and then turned its tail and ran in a stupid looking bobbing motion.
"Stupid thing," she growled. This had been the worst trip of her life. They were already a few days behind schedule. Korgan would be expecting them by now, however if the illithid she'd been in contact with was correct the speed at which her sister and her party were traveling wasn't all that fast. If they didn't hit any more delays (though she was starting to doubt that given the way their trip had been going so far. First, she and her party had been jumped by some kind of vindictive octopus monster that apparently wanted to take petty revenge on them for the scars someone else had inflicted on him (stupid thing had been missing an eye, a couple tentacles and had scars all over it. It had been almost as ugly as she was). It had taken out two of her party of eight drow. Then, not more than two days later they had run into Myconids. Another Drow down.) they would be there soon.
At least the bird didn't try to eat us, she grumbled to herself as she watched it round the corner ahead of them. Goddess! I'm going to make Rose eat my blade for this. But not until I pretty up her face the way she did mine. She unconsciously ran a finger down the diagonal scar on her face, ignoring the sting that ran through it as they rounded the corner after the bird. I bet she and my new baby brother are just as cozy as can be with each other . . . we'll see how much he likes her after I ruin her. Ha! Serve her right . . .
"Uh . . . Mistress Kirisstind?" Queried one of the mages of the party nervously. She ignored him as she usually did. Ignored her whole party as a matter of fact. She wouldn't have even taken them, but Rose was supposed to have some kind of rag-tag band of freaks with her and she wanted to be prepared. This time, however, the mage persisted. "Mistress Kirisstind?" He pulled on her sleeve hard enough to stop her short. She whirled around to glare at him then realized that her whole party was staring upwards with wide eyes. She slowly became aware of a soft, yet persistent sound: ruffling feathers. She followed the gaze of her party and her eyes widened when she realized what they'd stepped into.
All around them on their nests built into the wall was at least a hundred of the stupid birds like the one she'd thrown a rock at. That one in particular was right in front of them. It glared at her as it hopped back and forth.
"Uuuuuwwwaaaaa!" It shrieked. It's call was answered by it's rather large family. There was a flurry of feathers and the birds leapt out of their nests.
"RUN!" Kirisstind shrieked, racing for the other end of the nest as the birds descended in a flurry of colored feathers, and a cacophony of Uuwas.
Behind her the mage who'd pulled her sleeve screamed in pain and fell to the ground as the birds caught him.
Perhaps they'd be later than she'd at first thought . . .
***
"Mmmmm . . ." Zoe murmured unhappily at the draft that suddenly found his naked body. He rolled over and opened his eyes sleepily, expecting to see Rose's pretty white hair where it had been last night when he'd fallen asleep with her in his arms (not unlike the way Mezzen had slept in hers) after what had probably been the best night of his entire life (and he almost dared to hope that there would be more like it).
The hair he saw wasn't white, however, it was black. And it was braided in multiple strands kept together with gold bands. And those braids weren't attached to the top of her head, but to her face, right under her mouth (which was no longer full and almost pouty, but thin and grinning nastily showing missing teeth). Above her mouth was a mustache as thick as the beard and above the mustache a bulbous nose that had no place on Rose's face. Still, in his sleepy state, it didn't quite register that this wasn't Rose until his eyes met the eyes staring out from what was obviously not her face. They were small and beady and black.
"Mornin' sweetheart," the thing-which-was-not-Rose said in thickly accented Drow. Zoe screamed and bolted to a sitting position as the thing (and all the buddies the thing had with it) laughed raucously. He backed up and immediately struck something hard. He turned around and looked up into the grinning face of yet another thing (the word duergar sprang instantly to mind as sleep bled from his brain and body and he came fully awake). He screamed again and tried to move but this one caught him and threw him roughly back onto his blankets. The mage reacted almost instantly, snapped into action by the pain that swam up from his back. He called to mind the first spell he thought of and started to chant, but a hand cuffed him roughly on the back of his head and ruined his concentration. A disgusting tasting cloth descended on him from out of nowhere and was pulled roughly into his mouth, cutting off his ability to speak. He choked on it as it was tied behind his head by the first dwarf as another grabbed his hands before he could fight and bound them tightly.
"Well, well, well," said the first dwarf. "A wizard! A mageling! A bag-of-tricks!" He laughed harshly. "Should've known. Yer too scrawny to be a fighter!" He poked Zojikoe roughly in the ribs. Zojikoe winced in pain. That would leave a bruise. The dwarf shoved him roughly. "Put him with the others." Two other dwarves grabbed him under the armpits and hauled him up, shoving him forward. He cast a frantic look around the trashed camp, but all of the others were gone. It took him a moment to spot them. Dil'andau was tied up against the wall of the cave, looking disgruntled (yet somehow amused. Zoe had no doubt that the fighter had seen the whole scene with the duergar). Heaped beside him was a pile of unconscious females, Ka on top of Rose. Slayer and Mezzen were nowhere to be seen. He blinked. Where was the boy and the cat?
His answer came in the form of a small, wordless shriek as Mezzen came bolting out of nowhere, running around the duergar and dropping beside his new mother. Zoe winced. The boy must have wandered off and been playing. Why did he have to come back now?! Mezzen shoved futilely at Ka, trying to separate her and Rose, and when that failed he whirled around, glaring at the stunned dwarves.
"What did you do to her?!" He demanded, then spotted Zojikoe, gagged and bound (and naked) and his eyes widened. "Zoe!" He gasped, then darted forward before anyone could stop him and launched a low kick at the shins of one of the dwarves herding Zoe towards the rest of the drow. The dwarf howled in pain and clutched his shin as the other shoved Zoe forward. The mage stumbled over to fall on the other side of Rose and Ka. Mezzen moved as though to do some more damage but the dwarf put his wounded leg down and moved to draw his weapon with a threatening growl. Mezzen stumbled back, tripping over a rock and falling backwards right in front of Dil'andau. The dwarf drew its weapon and swung it down at Mezzen, but Dil'andau reacted instantly, his foot snaking out and hooking around Mezzen's waist, pulling the boy back just in time. The boy might be a pain, but he was Drow, and these things weren't, and that counted for something as far as Dil'andau was concerned. The dwarf moved to attack again, but before he could do anything a growl deeper than his own echoed through the small camp and a blur of black fur struck him from behind, sending him sprawling onto his face. Slayer leapt off of him and stood in front of his mistress and her friends, the hair on his back raised as he snarled at the dwarves. The other duergar snapped out of their surprised dazes and two of them raised crossbows, but the leader stopped them with a hand as Slayer growled at them.
"Ye all know Korgan's orders," he said. "We're to extend our greetings and take 'em alive. The whole group. The way that fur ball's acting, I'll jes assume he's part o' the group. If anyone else cares t' argue different, then feel free t' shoot the blasted thing, but ye'll be the one to tell Korgan when we gets back." The others shuffled their feet and lowered their weapons.
"But . . . Shagbag . . . how're we supposed to take 'em anywhere with that thing waitin' to claw us up the moment we get close?" Shagbag turned to Zoe.
"You," he snapped. "Calm that thing. Do it now or orders or no', I'll shoot the big drow." Zojikoe looked over at Dil'andau who glared at him.
"Go ahead, Champ," Dil'andau spat at him. "You know you want to." For a half an instant the mage considered it. It's not like he'd miss the big doofus . . . Mezzen's terrified sniffling broke him out of it, however. He couldn't let them shoot Dil'andau in front of him. Poor kid had probably never seen much violence besides the far away, unreal stuff he saw that day at the gladiatorial arena, and the day-to-day fighting amidst the party itself. He wasn't ready for that yet. An besides . . .
Dil'andau had saved Mezzen . . .
Zojikoe looked over at Slayer who continued to stand protectively in front of the group. He hesitated for just a second – he still wasn't convinced Slayer liked him that much and part of him was convinced the panther would just turn around and eat him if he tried to discourage it in anyway – but then Shagbag's confederates raised their crossbows again and he forced himself to reach out and touch the panther's flanks with his bound hands. The panther jumped and twisted its head around to face him, lips still pulled back in a snarl. Zojikoe shrank back, but Mezzen moved forward, hugging Slayer's neck tightly. At his touch the panther relaxed – slightly.
"It's okay, Slayer," he sniffled into the cat's fur. "Zoe won't let anything happen to us. Zoe will show these mean things that they shouldn't have ever messed with us." He sniffled again. "He was the best in his class at Sorsari you know. Right Zoe?" The boy turned back to look at him and all Zoe could offer him was a weak nod. Shagbag laughed.
"And what would the bag-of-tricks show us?" He demanded. "He can't show us much more than his bare ass at the moment, now can 'e?" He laughed again. "Get them up!" He called to his men. "We're going home!"
***
"Ye crackgnats! Ye lant gulpin' dirtchutes! Ye grog blossomed prick-me-dainties!"
Shagbag and his crew shrank back under their leader's harsh shouts and no few of them had to dodge his fists as well.
"Ye told us to extend our greetin'!" Shagbag shouted over Korgan's shouts. "How was we supposed to know you actually meant it that way?!"
"I told ye, Shagbag," Korgan growled. He pointed at Rose. "That's obviously Kirisstind!" Dil'andau, Mezzen and Zoe all blinked. Mezzen and Dil'andau both opened their mouths to argue, but Zoe kicked Dil and shook his head furiously at Mezzen, shutting them both up. "NOW UNTIE THEM YE LILLY-LIVERED DUNDERHEADS!" They scrambled to do as he said, jumping over and untying Zojikoe and Dil'andau as another ran from the room for smelling salts to rouse Rose and Ka. Zojikoe jumped when someone pulled on his ear. He turned and leaned down.
"What's a lant-gulpin' dirtchute?" Mezzen whispered.
"Never mind," Zoe replied quickly. "And don't you dare repeat any of what he just said. Ever. And especially not to Rose. In fact, plug your ears and keep them plugged until I say so." He turned back around. Mezzen stared at him in perplexity for a moment then shrugged and did as he was told. Or tried to. The next second Rose came awake with a start (thanks to the smelling salts) and he immediately pulled his fingers out of his ears and jumped her, hugging her fiercely.
"You're okay!" He wailed, bursting into spontaneous tears all over again. "I thought you were dead!" She hugged him groggily, stroking his hair.
"I'm all right, Mezzen," she said, pushing herself to a sitting position with one hand. "I think . . . What's happened? Where are we?" She blinked at Zojikoe. "Why are you still naked?"
"My apologies, Lady Kirisstind," Korgan said. Rose jumped at the name and turned to face the dwarf. "Me men . . . misunderstood my instructions. I'm afraid ye received the greeting yer sister will be getting soon enough." Rose's eyes widened for only and instant and then narrowed as understanding lit up her eyes. Mezzen frowned in confusion.
"She's not –" Rose's hand clapped itself around his mouth.
"I should hope you're sorry," she said flatly. "And I also hope your men are suitably punished for their lapse."
"Yer a bit later than we expected," Korgan said as Ka came around slowly. "And with only half of yer party if my count's correct." He blinked down at Mezzen who shrank back into Rose's arms. "Plus one wee barrun."
"What's a barrnon?" Mezzen piped fearfully. Korgan laughed.
"A barrun, lad. It means a baby."
"I'm not a baby!" Mezzen cried with a dark frown, moving out of the protective circle of Rose's arms just far enough to glare at Korgan. "I'm –" Again Rose's hand clamped over his mouth. She handed the boy over to Zoe who took him and admonished him to be quiet.
"My party is my concern and not yours," she said flatly. "And that goes for my child as well. Now, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like you to give back our things. Including my mage's clothes. Honestly, Korgan."
"Yes, yes," Korgan said, gesturing. Three dwarves ran off to the next room, returning a moment later with their packs and Zoe's clothes. The mage took them gratefully and hurriedly put them on, somehow managing to jam his robe on backwards in the process. Mezzen giggled at him, despite the situation, and Zojikoe blushed and hurried to fix it.
"Now," Korgan said, "since you're here, I think it's high-time we discussed your little part in our bargain." Rose frowned at him.
"I'm sure there'll be time for that later," she said. "I want a bath. And I'm sure my compatriots could use a bit of time to freshen up. If you don't mind, Korgan, I've got a splitting headache thanks to the hack-work of your men and I don't feel much like discussing anything until I've gotten rid of it." Korgan met her steady gaze flatly.
"I'll not be double-crossed, Elf," he said darkly, all traces of his previous congeniality gone. "Ye'll hold to yer promise or I'll bury me axe in yer skull."
"There'll be no double-cross, Dwarf," she replied just as darkly. "But it changes nothing. I'll discuss nothing now. I need breakfast and a nap, and maybe then we can discuss my end of the deal."
"At lunch then," Korgan said. "Shagbag, Crazyface, and Screwloose here will show ye to where ye can stay then and they'll come and fetch you at lunch. Then we'll discuss our . . . business."
"Yes," Rose agreed. "That sounds fine."
***
"What the hell just happened?" Ka demanded grumpily once the door was shut and they were sure the Dwarves were gone. "One minute I was messing with Dil's head and the next I was unconscious, and the next after that I wake up and some ugly dwarf is calling you Kirisstind and you're making deals with him. Explain! Now!"
"Well aren't we chipper this morning!" Dil'andau said brightly.
"Shut up or I'll tell everyone what you dreamt last night," Ka growled threateningly. Dil'andau (who'd dreamt that Zojikoe was bigger than him, and had had a naked Rose in one arm and a naked Ka in the other (both of them all over him) and was picking on him really, really badly) instantly shut up and sulked.
"If I knew, Ka, I'd explain," Rose said. "But I don't. That Korgan guy was apparently expecting Kirisstind to show up. She must have made some kind of deal with him in order to get his help in getting at me and killing me, and probably Dil'andau too if she's been sent by her House."
"What?" Dil'andau cried. "Why?!" Rose stared at him.
"Because I'm a rogue member of a destroyed House, Dil. Your mother would probably just as soon see me dead as adopted, especially since she didn't exactly get a prize if I know Kirisstind well enough."
"But why me?" Dil'andau demanded. "She wouldn't want me killed too." Rose stared at him. Ka laid her hand on Dil's arm.
"Dil," she said, her voice oddly gentle, "why'd your mum send you after the Kyrashar Rose?" He frowned down at her.
"Because I was the only one in the House cut out for the job," he said. "She wouldn't trust anyone else with it."
"Dil'andau . . ." Rose started but Ka cut her off with a look.
"Just . . . let it go for now, Rose," she said flatly. "I'll deal with him later, or Kirisstind will. One way or the other he'll find out."
"Find out what?" Dil'andau demanded. "You still haven't –" Ka kissed him quickly. He blinked down at her. "What was that for?" He demanded. "Why'd you do that? Is that a hint?" He frowned at her. "Lloth, Ka. We can't do that here. The kid'll see it, and then Rose will have a conniption fit. You have no sense of time and place." Ka stared at him, mouth agape for a moment.
Why? Rain asked mentally. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why are you attracted to him? Why? Why?
Go away, Ka snapped, then, "Shut up, Dil. Just shut up."
"So what are we going to do?" Zojikoe demanded. "Keep playing along?" He frowned. "That's dangerous Rose. We don't know what Kirisstind agreed to do in return. What if it's something we can't deliver on?"
"Then we run like scalded cats," Rose replied easily. "But I think first we should at least see what he wants. Maybe it won't be so bad, and if nothing else playing along for a bit would at least give us time to restock our supplies."
"And sleeping on a real bed for a bit won't be so bad either," Ka grunted. "I'm with Rose on this one."
"I don't know . . ." Zoe said doubtfully.
"Hey, relax, champ," Dil'andau said. "I'm with the ladies on this one. This Korgan seems like a nice guy –" they all ignored that " – and I could definitely go for three square meals a day for a while. Even if it's only a couple days."
"What if he catches on?" Zoe demanded, still doubtful.
"Then I'll just make him forget he ever caught on," Ka answered easily. "Piece of cake." Rose nodded.
"All we need to do is play along and lie low for a while," she answered. "With any luck, maybe Korgan will catch Kirisstind, thinking she's me, and kill her for us. Relax Zoe," she said, giving him her best smile. "This'll work." Zoe wished he could deny the sinking feeling in his gut, but he'd never been able to say no to that smile and it appeared as though nothing had changed.
"All right," he said with a sigh. "But if this blows up in our face, nobody had better accuse me of not warning you." Silence descended for a moment as the group considered what they were about to try.
"Um . . ." Mezzen said, breaking the silence. "I still don't know what a prick-me-dainty is . . ."