Exhaustion overwhelmed me, and I cried myself to sleep. I dreamt of the battle, The orcs and Southrons were multiplying as I watched, more and more evil snarls coming closer and closer. I tried to back away, but I kept tripping over the bodies of my friends and comrades. I saw Aragorn lying there, blood congealing on his face. Then Arwen's angry face filled my vision, she was shouting at me, over and over...
"If you let Aragorn die, I'll kill you...If you let Aragorn die, I'll kill you..." Then her face twisted until it became Daddy's reminding me
"I told you not to follow the fellowship, I told you that you muck up everything you touch... this is all your fault....This is all your fault!!"
I woke up with a jerk and gazed blearily through my red rimmed eyes down the corridor.
Something had changed.
It was the smell, I realised at last. The stench of blood and sweat had been replaced by a fresh, clean aroma. Almost as if a keen wind was blowing strongly though the houses of healing and washing the dirt away. I knew that smell, it reminded me of the medical wing at home.
Athelas. The herb of healing.
Suddenly I heard Aragorn's voice in the curtained room off to my right.
"Awake, Éowyn, Lady of Rohan!"
Éowyn? But she was almost dead. I jumped to my feet and peered through a crack in the curtains. Everyone was crowding around her, desperate to see if Aragorn had been able to heal her. She didn't immediately stir, but began to breathe the clean, fresh air deeply.
"Call her" Aragorn ordered as he left the room.
Éomer bent over his sister, calling her name, tears rolling down his face. Suddenly her huge blue eyes slowly blinked open and she was talking quietly to her brother.
She was alive!
I turned and ran down the corridor to where Aragorn was joining Elladan at another man's bedside.
"Thank you!" I cried, grasping his arm and squeezing it in gratitude. "You don't know how much this means to me, to everyone." It took a couple of seconds for him to realise I was talking about Éowyn's miraculous healing. He smiled, nodded and shook his arm free.
I walked slowly back to Éowyn's bed and sat by her side, I glanced sharply at Éomer, daring him to order me to leave, before taking my friend's hand and squeezing it gently.
"Awake at last" I commented dryly, trying to keep the smile from my face. "Honestly Éowyn, you're almost as lazy as the hobbits."
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The next few days passed in a blur. It was a long time before I could actually sit quietly by Éowyn's bedside and relax.
She stirred slightly in her sleep, bringing her hand up to tangle amongst the golden curtain of hair that spread across her pillow. I tucked her covers gently around her and sat back in the chair. I was so relieved that she was safe, I was content to sit and watch over her for hours.
Many hours had passed since her healing, so much had happened. Glorfindel was soon up and walking around, his ribs swathed in bandages. He absolutely refused to stay in bed, and was determined not to be left behind when they all left for Mordor.
I spoke quietly to Mithrandir at one point, when we were both getting some fresh air on the battlements.
"Who would believe all this was caused by one ring" I commented, resting my arms on the parapet and looking out across the dark plain. "Will it ever end?"
"Only if Frodo manages to destroy it" he replied quietly after a short pause. I glanced at him, puzzled.
"Destroy it? is that really necessary? ...As long as I don't have to be the one who breaks the news to Arwen."
"Arwen?" he questioned, looking even more confused than me.
"Arwen's engagement ring" I explained slowly. "I expect it was hard enough to part her from it in the first place, when all you wanted to do was hide it. I don't want to have to tell her that you've destroyed it."
Mithrandir stared at me for a long time, his long white hair stirring gently in the breeze. Suddenly, a light appeared in his eyes and he started to laugh.
"I think it's about time I explained something..." he said.
Honestly, I've never been so embarrassed in my life. All that time I thought Frodo was carrying a simple engagement ring, he was actually protecting the ring of power itself. I feel such a fool. At least there was no one else around to laugh at my mistake.
Éomer finally relented to leave his sister's side and travel with Aragorn towards the Black Gate. His last words to me were dire threats of what he would do if anything else happened to Éowyn. However, I think he was quite pleased that I was staying with her.
Niralan wasn't so happy. He wanted me to go with them. I wanted to, but I couldn't leave Éowyn alone. He seemed to understand, both he and Glorfindel looked back several times as they rode on towards the black gate. I stood on the tower battlement of the White City to watch them go. The strong wind tossed my tresses of dark hair playfully, my dress flying out behind me.
Suddenly Éowyn stirred again, and opened her eyes, bringing me back to the present. I leaned forward in the chair and took her hand. She saw me and smiled,
"I'm glad you escaped unharmed" she whispered, snuggling back into the pillows.
"Unlike you" I replied, "What were you thinking of? Still, you slew the Witch-king, a Ringwaith! Now are you satisfied? You don't wish to take on another army by yourself?" She smiled again
"No" she whispered and closed her eyes. I sat back again, glad that she was resting properly. I had visions of literally holding her down in bed whilst her body mended.
Suddenly, the blue eyes flew open again.
"It's too quiet" she commented. "Where is everyone?" I told her that they had set out for the Black Gate.
"Everyone?" she asked incredulously, I nodded.
"Including Aragorn?" I nodded again
"Even Niralan?" she asked one last time.
"Yes" I said, one eyebrow rising slightly in puzzlement. What was she getting at? I knew why she was asking about Aragorn, but why did she want to know if Niralan had left?
"Then why are you still here, you idiot!" she cried, trying to sit up. I pushed her back down into the bed and tucked the covers tightly over her struggling body.
"To look after you, you're the idiot. Someone has to make sure you stay in bed."
She flopped back against the pillows in resignation.
"Go!" she said firmly. "I don't need you here, there are plenty of nurses and healers around. There's nothing you can do, If you hurry, you can still catch them up."
"But why?" I insisted. "I want to stay here, I'm going to make sure you get better, why do you want to get rid of me? Besides your brother would never forgive me if I abandoned you."
She lay there staring at the ceiling for a moment, obviously deep in thought.
"You've done so much for me" she said slowly "You put up with my moaning, you helped me with the women and children, you saved us all at Helms Deep…" I opened my mouth to protest, but she carried on "…You helped me set up the camp, put up with yet more of my sulking, told me your idea about dressing as men because you know I wanted to fight, went into battle even when you never wanted to…I could go on forever…"
I was staring at the floor, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
"…Remember I told you I owed you a favour, back in the tent when I was fixing your hair…" I nodded dumbly. "…Well, I'm repaying it now. I demand you to leave this place, find a horse and catch up with the others…" She closed her eyes and a smile fluttered across her cheeks. "At least catch up with Niralan" she finished.
"But why?" I insisted again.
"If you can't see that, maybe you're too stupid to go" she snapped irritably. "Now go, I want to sleep… You'll thank me one day." She closed her eyes and I remained uneasily in the chair. I couldn't really leave her, I had to stay. Suddenly the ice blue eyes flashed open at me once more.
"Go!" she bellowed. I jumped back in fright and edged towards the door, her eyes glaring at me as I went. I escaped out the door and started down the corridor. Behind me, I could hear her peels of amused laughter.
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The ground thudded in a blur beneath Andante's hooves. I leant forward, and whispered in his ear, my hair streaming out behind me. Andante put on an extra burst of speed as we splashed across a little stream. I laughed, my previous fear of horses forgotten. Some good things had come from the battle, perhaps I wouldn't be such a disgrace to the elvish race now I could ride. As long as I keep my mouth shut when people start singing!
#####################################################################
I finally caught up with them this afternoon. Andante was exhausted as I reached the top of the rise. I looked down into the valley, and saw all 7,000 of them streaming out with one last purpose. I coaxed my horse to travel just a little further, and eventually joined the back of the 500 riders led by my brothers. The miles passed quickly, we followed the trail of destruction caused by the orcs in their retreat back to Mordor. We were moving too quickly to repair too much damage, but we could see that the lands would eventually recover. Time would lend a healing hand, and maybe one day people would be able to live here and forget the evil that had dwelt and destroyed these territories. At least they would if we successfully defeated Sauron.
It was only when we stopped for the night, that I managed to reach Niralan. He looked delighted to see me, hardly giving me a chance to speak to my brothers before finding us a place to camp for the night. All the men gathered in small groups around separate campfires. The tension is still palpable, we all know that we will arrive at the Black Gate tomorrow, We are either going to make history with the downfall of Sauron, or witness the slaughter of our armies and the loss of Middle Earth. I don't think anyone is going to be able to sleep tonight.
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A wolf howl cut suddenly though the air and echoed around the surrounding hills. All conversation halted for a moment, as people listened nervously. The howls continued, and eventually the gentle sound of many different voices started up again.
"I'm so glad you decided to join us" Niralan smiled, taking up a stick and etching deep scratches in the hard earth. I smiled and pulled my blanket tighter around my shoulders.
"Éowyn would probably have made my life a misery if I hadn't obeyed her orders" I replied with a grin. I watched the flames flickering from the campfire, sending shooting orange sparks spitting into the darkness.
"Is that the only reason you came?" Niralan asked, his eyes scrutinising my face.
"No" I replied, "I wanted to be here at the end, to stand with my brothers and friends. Either we win the freedom of Middle Earth together - or we die together."
"What about me?"
I stared at him in surprise.
"Of course I wanted to be with you. I wanted to be with all my friends."
"Oh... friends" he murmured, looking out into the darkness and snapping the stick suddenly between his fingers.
"Is there something wrong?" I asked, as the silence lengthened. He looked at me and smiled.
"No, of course not...I just wondered... maybe I'm fooling myself."
"What??!!"
He smiled once again and reached out to tuck a stray strand of my hair away from my face.
"I've often wondered what would have happened if I'd never left Rivendell" he replied slowly, gently stroking back my hair. "I decided that either Arwen would have driven me to suicide...or..."
"Or what?" I asked again, a strange feeling in my stomach. He cupped my chin in his hand and tilted my face until I was looking right into his piercing blue eyes.
"...or I might have become happier than you could ever imagine. I'll stop beating about the bush… Sardwen, I love you. I think I always have."
I stared at him, my mouth was probably hanging open, I couldn't control myself.
"I thought… I had hoped that you perhaps returned these feelings…" he continued
I was still frozen, I couldn't think of anything to say. He looked at my expression sadly.
"Obviously I was mistaken. Please forgive me; I was a fool to express myself so openly."
He rose to his feet, gave a brief nod and walked off into the gloom. I wanted to call him back, tell him to stay, but I couldn't get any words out.
He loved me? Why was this such a surprise? I couldn't gather my feelings together, I didn't know what I felt. Niralan had always been my best friend when I was younger. But when he left Imladris, I hardly thought about him. Was he right? Would things have been different if he had stayed? How did I feel about him? – there was no way I could express it in words. I watched the flames flicker, and savagely bit my thumbnail. What should I do?
########################################################################
I saw a shadowy figure hover behind me for a second, then awkwardly sit at my side.
"Niralan…" I started to say, as I looked up. But it was Glorfindel, I tried to hide my slight disappointment. There were a couple of minutes of silence as we both looked out into the cloaking darkness. There were no ordinary clouds in the sky, but the stars were hidden by the foul smoke pouring out of Mordor.
"You're cold" he said at last. I looked at him, and nodded dumbly. I was shivering, externally, and inside I was still frozen.
He took a blanket from his shoulders and ignoring my protests, placed it around mine. He kept his arm resting there and pulled me closer to him for warmth.
"Are you scared about tomorrow?" he asked softly. I tried to pull myself out of my confusion. I hadn't even thought about it, I had been preoccupied by other things.
"A bit…" I replied lamely, for want of something to say.
"Don't be ashamed" he replied. "Almost everyone here is uneasy about arriving at the Black Gate." I looked out into the dim blackness, the hundreds of dark figures huddling around little campfires. I doubted many of them were experiencing the same turmoil of feelings that I was.
"I won't let anything happen to you." Glorfindel continued, making me smile slightly behind the shadow of my hair. I turned to say something to him, but before I could open my mouth, he kissed me. For the second time this evening, I was frozen in shock. I couldn't move for a few seconds, and then as he tried to deepen the kiss, I pulled away.
"No… I'm sorry" I whispered, looking down at the floor. He sighed, gave me one last squeeze and removed his arm from my shoulders.
"It's alright, I half expected it anyway." I looked up in confusion and he smiled weakly.
"How can you kiss one elf… when you're in love with someone else?"
My eyes widened as what he said began to sink in.
"It's supposed to be hardest when you lose to a close friend…" he continued. "But I'm glad you chose Niralan over anyone else. At least I know that he's worthy of you." He rose to his feet, clutching his bandaged ribcage with a slight wince. He looked down at me once more and attempted to smile once more.
"I hope you'll be very happy together" he concluded, with a slight catch in his voice before he also disappeared into the darkness.
Once again, I was left alone to think. It was like piecing together a puzzle, with little snippets of clues and information. I pictured Niralan's face, it was so familiar that I could trace every angle. Glorfindel thought that I loved him, Éowyn had shown particular interest in our relationship, hadn't she even ordered me to catch up with him, claiming she was doing me a favour. Could she pick up something that I was too blind to see?
I love being with Niralan. I love the sound of his voice, and seeing him smile. But did I really love him?
I pictured him being killed by orcs, perhaps in tomorrow's battle. I saw his battered body abandoned on the battlefield. The tears were flowing down my cheeks before I could stop myself. I hastily thought of something more cheerful, and wiped my eyes vigorously.
Suddenly I realised, I didn't just care for him, I actually wanted to be with him always. The idea of losing him was so painful that it made my throat tighten. The idea of him marrying, kissing, loving another woman was so horrible it didn't bear thinking about.
I did love him!
I'd finally made up my mind.
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As soon as the dim blackness grew light enough to see by, we packed up camp and started the final trek up to the actual gates of Mordor.
I couldn't find Niralan anywhere, I began to think that he could be purposely avoiding me. I rode by my brothers side as the valley swept down to the vast iron doors of the Black Gate blocking the way.
I'd never seen a more threatening piece of architecture. The jagged spikes looked like spears, and the colour seemed to absorb all cheer from the poison bleached rocks near the entrance to Sauron's realm. I looked up and quailed slightly as I spotted the Nazgul hovering overhead, the beating of their mounts' wings throbbing through the valley, almost making breathing difficult.
I watched Mithrandir far away in the distance talking to the embassy from the dark tower.
The embassy made me shiver involuntarily. He was tall and evil looking on a snorting black horse. His face was hidden by a frightful mask which looked more like a rotting skull than a living head. His eye sockets were filled with a burning flame.
He was the mouth of Sauron.
He was holding up some objects, I squinted to see them better, even with my eyesight. I eventually recognised the sword that Sam had been carrying and a grey cloak fastened with an elven brooch. Finally he held up a shining mail coat, that looked so light it could only have been made from mithril.
Frodo and Sam's belongings. They must have been captured. The mission had failed. Sauron had won.
My last remaining dribble of hope drained away, and I sat frozen on Andante as Mithrandir took the objects and the mouth of Sauron retreated back to the black gate. As he reached it, a horn blew out across the valley, quickly joined by many more. As I watched, the great gates of Mordor slowly opened accompanied by the threatening beating of hundreds of drums. They opened to reveal a huge snarling army, ready to massacre us all.
I glanced quickly from side to side as the hosts of Mordor poured out of the gates in a continuous stream, dust rising up in swirling clouds from beneath their feet. A dark army of Easterlings appeared from the sides of the valley, where they had been lying in wait. They were enclosing us, ready for the slaughter.
We were surrounded. There was no way out. We were hopelessly outnumbered.
We were going to die.
From the corner of my eye, I finally caught a glimpse of Niralan. He was watching the approaching armies, his face frozen with no emotion. I pulled myself together and forced Andante through the throng of riders, attempting to reach his side. There was one last thing I wanted to do, before I breathed my last breath.
He ignored me until I managed to fight my way right up to his side.
"You should have stayed at Minas Tirith" he said coldly, his eyes still watching the hosts of Mordor come closer and closer.
"Niralan..." I tried to say.
"I'm such a fool." he continued, not listening to a word I was saying. "I pleaded with you to leave safety, I spent miles wishing you would catch us up. And now look where I've led you. It's all my fault."
"Niralan!" I called sharply, cutting into his rambling thoughts. "Listen to me."
He turned his head slowly, and eventually ventured to look me in the eye.
"If we're all going to die now, then so be it." I said slowly and calmly. "But I swear with all my heart, there is no other place I'd rather be at this moment."
"Don't be stupid" he said scornfully, turning away to look at the orcs, just a few yards away now. I reached out and turned his face back towards me.
"How much more obvious do I need to be?" I smiled. "I want to be with you Niralan. I want to fight beside you, and if necessary die beside you.
I love you."
He stared at me in silence, a light finally appearing in his cold, hopeless eyes.
"Really?" he breathed, as if he didn't want to trust what he thought he had heard. I nodded, laughing silently, my smile nearly splitting my face in two.
"Really" I replied, pulling his head towards me until our foreheads were touching.
"I love you too" he whispered, looping his arm around my neck and drawing me into a kiss. I closed my eyes and the battleground, the orcs, my approaching death all ceased to exist. I deepened the kiss, conscious that our last few seconds together were ticking away.
A tremendous battle cry rose up through the air, and the ground beneath our feet started to tremble as the orcs reached our first lines of defence. We broke apart and watched as our first few men fell under the iron fist of the orcs.
This was it.
The End.