Chapter two: Meeting me
Disclaimer: Still don´t own nothing
This can´t be true.
Kagome stared down at Inuyasha. His eyes were still looking at her as if he was trying to comfort her. This is not true, I know it´s not true. I couldn´t have seen this. He´s just poisoned. I should try harder...
Once again she searched for the power inside and this time she managed to kill the small snake, but Inuyasha still doesn´t want to say something, so although she started to feel really exhausted Kagome closed her eyes for a third time but she was interrupted by a shy voice behind:
"Kagome-sama?"
After a moment she recognized the voice: Hatsie, the badger-youkai servant of Miroku´s. Suddenly she was really glad to meet him, to hear a familiar voice that distracted her from the stubborn boy who refused to talk to her. She rose to her feet and turned around - carefully avoided looking at Inuyasha- so she could show Hatsie where Sango and Miroku laid. He should carry them to Kaede-baba who would be able to clean their wounds and give them whatever they need to recover.
"...when you´re sure that they got the right treatment please come back. Inuyasha seems to be consciousless again but by then I shall have brought him back. Arigatou gozaimasu."
Hatsie felt irratated. He knew Inuyasha and he had carried him several times before so he knew his scent. The person laying there however smelt different. Kagome-sama said something about being injured and consciousless but he could have sworn that the smell said "dead". He blinked. Maybe it´s only because of the amounts of corpses around them. The air was filled with the characteristic rotten odour. Anyway, if Inuyasha was dead, there wouldn´t be anything he could do for him now, so he turned back to Sango, transformed into this huge, yellow "thing" and helped her to put Miroku on his back.
When everybody was gone Kagome once again fell down on her knees. She forced herself to put a hand on Inuyasha´s chest only to feel nothing. Not the smallest heartbeat. Disbelieving it she bowed her head down to Inuyasha´s face as if she was going to kiss him, and still sensed no breath...
Suddenly the exhaustion became overwhelming.
She had to admit that she knew it was over. Lying to herself doesn´t make sense anymore, making believe that she still could do it. Still could bring him back. Still had a chance. She finally saw this fact but her mind was far beyond understanding, it was like reading a book written in some foreign languages, you know it´s a book and you know it´s supposed to tell something, but you can´t really understand it. So she did nothing but continue to sit there and stare.
While Kagome was walking on the narrow brim between sense and insanity Hatsie managed to fly to Kaede´s village. The old miko was not too surprised about them being injured because she had had a bad feeling since that morning but when she saw HOW they were injured she was shocked. Quickly she boiled water for some healing tea they would need and then cleaned the wounds. It was a nasty piece of work, espacially since Miroku´s wound was sirious, but she still somehow managed to talk to Hatsie.
"Where is Kagome? And Inuyasha? Don´t tell me they´re still fighting?" Though she asked this she already knew that the answer won´t be yes. The bad feeling that has been chasing her since this morning was still there and became even worse.
"N..no". Hatsie started but then he didn´t know how to continue. Shall he tell her about the strange scent? But Kagome-sama said that Inuyasha was only consciousless, and he knew that she was a miko with strong powers.
"No, they aren´t fighting. Kagome is injured but it´s nothing serious. I could only smell very little blood on her compared to the others, but Inuyasha..."Once again he broke off.
Kaede stopped working for a split of a second before she spoke.
"You aren´t trying to tell me that he´s dead, are you? Inuyasha has fought many times against Naraku and he always managed to get away more or less unharmed. I didn´t sense Naraku becoming stronger so why can it be different this time?"
"Well, it´s really difficult to tell..." Hatsie told her what he smelt and what Kagome said and why he wasn´t sure. When he was finished Kaede sighed.
"So this is why I ´ve been feeling so bad the whole day. He is really dead."
"But how can you be so sure Kaede-sama, Kagome-sama told me that-"
Kaede once again hesitated for a moment before speaking.
"I agree with you that Kagome is a very special person but in the end...she too is only a human girl. Humans are not to be trusted once they are frightened, once fear is going to swallow all of them. Yes I know, she is brave while fighting, but I didn´t mean this kind of fear. It´s actually much easier if you can see what scares you, if you have an aim, but now..."
"...now, knowing that the beloved was...dead... losing everything important in your life... it´s a different kind of fear... it´s the fear of getting lost yourself - not knowing where to go to - where you belong to - in this world..." A tiny voice whispered. Kaede and Hatsie jumped: They didn´t notice that Sango has waken up and was now kneeling beside Miroku. She has closed her eyes while speaking... It was possible that soon she´ll have to face this fear too and she knew that she wouldn´t be able to survive one more loss. This burden was going to smash her.
Somewhere in Japan, fivehundred years ago, tears were shared by two young girls: One sitting in the middle of a huge battlefield, the other one kneeling in a small hut but both feeling the same pain that finally destroyed every kind of barrier that has prevented them from showing their grief. Kaede hurried up to comfort Sango, telling her that there was still a chance for Miroku but she knew that there was no way to stop the pain tearing the girl´s heart to pieces because she was also crying for Kagome, for her only friend who even didn´t have this very, very little bit of hope.
You can´t hear me anymore but I remember youI´m feeling haunted
But who can choose what they dream
And dream I do
Still believing in you
I would give up everything for one more time to feel you
I have to be with you to live to breath
You ´ve taken over me
Have you forgotten all we had?
You see I´m mourning my love for you
Please touch my hand
I want to believe in you
´cause I miss you
I´d give up everything just to find you
´cause you´d taken over me
I look in the mirror and see your face
I still don´t want to let you go
And I will oh I will not forget you
Very, very gently Kagome laid Inuyasha´s head on her lap as if he was only sleeping and she didn´t want to wake him up. Through the veil of tears she whispered...
"You do still remember the day when we were attacked by this spiderhead-youkai don´t you...The day I saw your human form for the first time...The day you said that you like my scent...The day you said that you like laying your head in my lap...Does this feel comfortable now Inuyasha...This time I´m the one protecting your dreams....I will never leave you..."
When Hatsie came to get her she was still whispering caressing nonsense, but she didn´t protest when he carried her and Inuyasha away. Arriving in Kaede´s hut Kaede only needed one look to see that she was right, but nevertheless felt sorry. When she was young she hated Inuyasha for killing Kikyou-onee-sama but after hearing the whole story the hate was replaced by some kind of liking and pity. Plus, she has learned to appreciate Kagome as a strong but kind hearted person, seeing her in this agony now did make her sad though she really got used to human pain during the long years she worked as miko. She led Kagome to a futon next to Sango and made her lay down. After giving her a tea that should bring her sleep Kaede examined Inuyasha´s wound, noticed the tiny bitemark and was assured that for him every help was too late.
She sighed and went out of the hut to fetch fresh water. The cool air of this early autumn night made her shiver and she lift up her head for a moment to look at the moon but then she noticed something else.
Shinidamachu.
Kikyou.