Snape's POV
Severus Snape did not appreciate the wayward glances he was receiving at the Leaving Feast from one Hermione Granger, top student of her graduating class. If Snape had had his way, he would not have even been present. However, Dumbledore, being the ever-insistent headmaster he was, enforced the rule that all teachers must be present. Thus, Snape sat, forced to take part in the shenanigans of the evening. Had he known what would take place, he would have either never come at all or looked forward to it.
Ron and Ginny Weasley's initial arrival had more or less set the mood for the night. McGonagall had immediately sent them back to the dormitories and made them wait an extra hour to come back to dinner for coming in their underwear. Shortly after the two came back, Parvati Patil broke into a very inappropriate story about a slut and her latest conquest. Why no one dared to stop the nonsense, Snape could not figure out, but he was oddly enjoying the show. If someone had asked him, though, he would have fiercely denied it.
'Probably just the fact it's those pompous Gryffindors behind all this nonsense,' he thought. 'Finally they're good for something.'
At the finish of his thought, he smirked slightly, but quickly changed it to a frown when he noticed Hermione once again looking at him. He was growing noticeably uncomfortable. She had never once shown this much interest in him, a fact he found disturbing. The Gryffindor graduating class was up to something and Snape was not sure he wanted to know what.
He decided it was about time to excuse himself from all of it when Parvati finished to a chorus of applause. No sooner had she finished when Lavender Brown stood and walked toward the head table. She was carrying two pieces of parchment. Upon arriving at the head table, she gave both papers to Professor McGonagall and proceeded to return to her seat.
McGonagall was first shocked, but the look that followed bordered on the edge of insanity and bloody murder. In all his years teaching at Hogwarts, Snape could not recall Minerva McGonagall look as if she would turn violent on the spot. If Dumbledore had not been next to her, Snape thought she might just have cursed Lavender off the face of the planet.
"Minerva, do calm down. It is just a joke after all," Snape heard Dumbledore say. This apparently calmed McGonagall down enough for the moment. Snape took this as his opportunity to leave. He did not want to become part of a Gryffindor joke. He was a likely target after all, being reputed as the meanest and most strict teacher currently residing in the school.
Snape excused himself from the table. He'd had enough noise and pranks for one evening. Now he just needed some peace and quiet. He only made it as far as the hall leading to the dungeon.
"Professor Snape." It was Hermione Granger, who else. No wonder she was watching him like a hawk. He was her prank. It figured.
So he sneered at her. "Miss Granger."
Snape had barely said her name before her lips were on his. It took him a moment to realize what happened, but he responded in kind. If she was going to kiss him, he might as well return the favor. Besides, he saw nothing wrong in it. Hermione had initiated the kiss, and she was no longer his student.
When Hermione became conscious of what he was doing, she did the only thing that could be expected. She pulled herself from him, turned, and ran away. Although Snape knew it would happen, it hurt nonetheless. She had given him a few things he no longer thought he could feel: Hope and despair.
Perhaps it was the latter that spurred him into action. Not that he would ever know for sure, but Snape needed to talk to Hermione. He ran after her. He had no clue what he would say . . . what she would tell him, but he needed an answer. Finally, he saw her.
"Miss Granger." She did not stop, so he continued after her. When she was within arm's length, he firmly grabbed her and turned her around the face him. She refused to look him in the eye. This did not bode well. Hermione had never been afraid to confront him before. In fact, she usually went out of her way to openly defy him.
"Miss Granger . . . Hermione." Still she did not look at him even though this was the first time he'd used her first name to address her. But she began to speak.
"Professor, I'm sorry. I can't . . I can't do this. It was a dare. I am sorry, but I just can't."
It was true. He was her victim. She started walking away and he let her. Snape could feel the moisture burning in his eyes, but he did nothing to stop it; he just let it flow freely of its own accord. There was no point in stopping it. He knew he should never have let himself manifest the emotion of love, especially toward a student, former or current. Somehow though, he felt as though he could not have stopped the formation of his emotions toward Hermione Granger. She was everything he had ever hoped for in a woman when he was younger.
"Severus, I had hoped it would not turn out this way," Dumbledore said. "Come, we will discuss this in your quarters." Snape could only follow Dumbledore to the Dungeon.
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Snape did not sleep well that night. In fact, he probably did not sleep at all. His pain was too great. Normally he would push it aside and never deal with it, but this he could not just shove to the side. He felt as if he had been deceived. Hermione never seemed the sort, but then, everyone had changed since the death of Voldemort. That was when Snape had realized the true scope of his feelings for Hermione Granger. She fought bravely in the war, selflessly. He might not admit it, but she had saved him a couple of times from Death Eaters that were trying to sneak up on him. Harry may have been lauded as the hero, but Hermione was Snape's hero. He could not let her go that easily. A small part of him still hoped.
Snape did not go to breakfast in the morning. For all he knew, Hermione would be telling everyone what she had done. He could not see her anyway. It was too soon. Forever would be too soon, so breakfast was definitely out of the question. Besides, she would be gone after today and he would not have to see her ever again, unless she truly did mean to come and teach here. No, that would be the day he retired.
His quarters were becoming more and more depressing and were not helping his mood any. Snape thought some work might help, so he went to his classroom. It was not long before he realized that everything reminded him of her. She was everywhere, from the cauldron she had used to help Longbottom to the ingredients she used. Snape sat at his desk, taking it all in. Hermione had more of an effect on him than he wanted. He could feel the tears again and he wasn't going to hold them back.
He heard the door slowly creak open. Even before she entered the room, he knew she was there.
"Miss Granger, if you wish to torment me further, you might as well just kill me first."
"I don't know if it means anything now to you or not, but I'm in love with you."
She did not mean it. He was certain of that. There was the nagging voice that said she might be right, but he would not accept it. Not after what he'd been through.
"Spare the apologies. I know the truth already. You told me yourself. Don't try and fix this!" He'd moved right in front of her by the end.
"Severus Snape, it hurts me just as much as it hurts you. Why do you think I ran? When you responded, I knew what it had been all these years. I knew why I'd always had special treatment. It wasn't because of my achievements. You were manifesting your feelings in a different, less obvious way."
That was the wrong thing to say. He was ready to physically hurt her now, but he held it back. Severus Snape was not a violent man, and he would not be toward a woman no matter what her age.
"Leave, Miss Granger. Just get out while you can. I am not the kind of man you should want to be with, nor am I the one you should be with." He walked away from her while he said this. He needed to be away from her suddenly.
"Severus . . ."
"It's Professor Snape or Sir to you." He would not give in to her.
"Severus . . ."
"Hermione!" Now he was yelling if only to make his point. "If you do not leave, I will not be held responsible for my actions. You can say you love me, but I have no proof. It was a dare. You've completed it. Move on. If your goal was to break me, you have accomplished it. Get out of my life! I do not . . ."
She was kissing him again. His resolve held, firmer than ever even though she was crying. He could feel the tears. He pushed her back and she fell on the floor. She began crying harder.
Snape could only look at her for a moment. Finally, something clicked looking at her so sad. Did she really feel that much for him? Had he pushed away his only chance at a lasting, happy, and loving relationship. Merlin, he hoped not. What he felt toward her he knew would always be there. He would never feel that way about another woman, and the chances one would feel that way about him were small. He needed to fix this.
"Miss Granger," he began softly. "Hermione, please, I . . I'm so sorry." He had started to cry as well. "Merlin, I didn't mean to . . to . . . forgive me, please? I don't want to ruin my only chance, but you hurt me so much. I'm too stubborn, I know, but please?" By the end, he was kneeling in front of her as she sat, crying. Her tears were trailing off slowly. "I don't know what to do without you." And he didn't at that moment. She meant too much to him. It may have been a painful realization, but he knew it as true.
Hermione hugged him, and they sat, sobbing into each other's shoulder. "Severus, I should have just told you. I went about this the wrong way. I'm sorry."
"You're forgiven, but how you can ever forgive me . . ."
That was an easy one. "I love you. That's enough to forgive you. Promise me this will never happen again."
They looked each other in the eye. Snape wiped the stray tears from Hermione's cheek, kissed her forehead gently, and said, "As long as we're together, this will never happen again. Oh, Hermione, you're the only person I've ever loved. I love you so much. How you could ever love me, I don't know, but I will make sure that I'm the only one who will ever steal your heart."
"You're cute, sexy, really smart, and I love you. I'll make sure I'm the only one who possesses your heart."
They smiled at one another and engaged in a very passionate kiss. They heard the train whistle as they pulled apart.
"Hermione, I think you missed the your ride home."
"I am home."
Severus Snape did not appreciate the wayward glances he was receiving at the Leaving Feast from one Hermione Granger, top student of her graduating class. If Snape had had his way, he would not have even been present. However, Dumbledore, being the ever-insistent headmaster he was, enforced the rule that all teachers must be present. Thus, Snape sat, forced to take part in the shenanigans of the evening. Had he known what would take place, he would have either never come at all or looked forward to it.
Ron and Ginny Weasley's initial arrival had more or less set the mood for the night. McGonagall had immediately sent them back to the dormitories and made them wait an extra hour to come back to dinner for coming in their underwear. Shortly after the two came back, Parvati Patil broke into a very inappropriate story about a slut and her latest conquest. Why no one dared to stop the nonsense, Snape could not figure out, but he was oddly enjoying the show. If someone had asked him, though, he would have fiercely denied it.
'Probably just the fact it's those pompous Gryffindors behind all this nonsense,' he thought. 'Finally they're good for something.'
At the finish of his thought, he smirked slightly, but quickly changed it to a frown when he noticed Hermione once again looking at him. He was growing noticeably uncomfortable. She had never once shown this much interest in him, a fact he found disturbing. The Gryffindor graduating class was up to something and Snape was not sure he wanted to know what.
He decided it was about time to excuse himself from all of it when Parvati finished to a chorus of applause. No sooner had she finished when Lavender Brown stood and walked toward the head table. She was carrying two pieces of parchment. Upon arriving at the head table, she gave both papers to Professor McGonagall and proceeded to return to her seat.
McGonagall was first shocked, but the look that followed bordered on the edge of insanity and bloody murder. In all his years teaching at Hogwarts, Snape could not recall Minerva McGonagall look as if she would turn violent on the spot. If Dumbledore had not been next to her, Snape thought she might just have cursed Lavender off the face of the planet.
"Minerva, do calm down. It is just a joke after all," Snape heard Dumbledore say. This apparently calmed McGonagall down enough for the moment. Snape took this as his opportunity to leave. He did not want to become part of a Gryffindor joke. He was a likely target after all, being reputed as the meanest and most strict teacher currently residing in the school.
Snape excused himself from the table. He'd had enough noise and pranks for one evening. Now he just needed some peace and quiet. He only made it as far as the hall leading to the dungeon.
"Professor Snape." It was Hermione Granger, who else. No wonder she was watching him like a hawk. He was her prank. It figured.
So he sneered at her. "Miss Granger."
Snape had barely said her name before her lips were on his. It took him a moment to realize what happened, but he responded in kind. If she was going to kiss him, he might as well return the favor. Besides, he saw nothing wrong in it. Hermione had initiated the kiss, and she was no longer his student.
When Hermione became conscious of what he was doing, she did the only thing that could be expected. She pulled herself from him, turned, and ran away. Although Snape knew it would happen, it hurt nonetheless. She had given him a few things he no longer thought he could feel: Hope and despair.
Perhaps it was the latter that spurred him into action. Not that he would ever know for sure, but Snape needed to talk to Hermione. He ran after her. He had no clue what he would say . . . what she would tell him, but he needed an answer. Finally, he saw her.
"Miss Granger." She did not stop, so he continued after her. When she was within arm's length, he firmly grabbed her and turned her around the face him. She refused to look him in the eye. This did not bode well. Hermione had never been afraid to confront him before. In fact, she usually went out of her way to openly defy him.
"Miss Granger . . . Hermione." Still she did not look at him even though this was the first time he'd used her first name to address her. But she began to speak.
"Professor, I'm sorry. I can't . . I can't do this. It was a dare. I am sorry, but I just can't."
It was true. He was her victim. She started walking away and he let her. Snape could feel the moisture burning in his eyes, but he did nothing to stop it; he just let it flow freely of its own accord. There was no point in stopping it. He knew he should never have let himself manifest the emotion of love, especially toward a student, former or current. Somehow though, he felt as though he could not have stopped the formation of his emotions toward Hermione Granger. She was everything he had ever hoped for in a woman when he was younger.
"Severus, I had hoped it would not turn out this way," Dumbledore said. "Come, we will discuss this in your quarters." Snape could only follow Dumbledore to the Dungeon.
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Snape did not sleep well that night. In fact, he probably did not sleep at all. His pain was too great. Normally he would push it aside and never deal with it, but this he could not just shove to the side. He felt as if he had been deceived. Hermione never seemed the sort, but then, everyone had changed since the death of Voldemort. That was when Snape had realized the true scope of his feelings for Hermione Granger. She fought bravely in the war, selflessly. He might not admit it, but she had saved him a couple of times from Death Eaters that were trying to sneak up on him. Harry may have been lauded as the hero, but Hermione was Snape's hero. He could not let her go that easily. A small part of him still hoped.
Snape did not go to breakfast in the morning. For all he knew, Hermione would be telling everyone what she had done. He could not see her anyway. It was too soon. Forever would be too soon, so breakfast was definitely out of the question. Besides, she would be gone after today and he would not have to see her ever again, unless she truly did mean to come and teach here. No, that would be the day he retired.
His quarters were becoming more and more depressing and were not helping his mood any. Snape thought some work might help, so he went to his classroom. It was not long before he realized that everything reminded him of her. She was everywhere, from the cauldron she had used to help Longbottom to the ingredients she used. Snape sat at his desk, taking it all in. Hermione had more of an effect on him than he wanted. He could feel the tears again and he wasn't going to hold them back.
He heard the door slowly creak open. Even before she entered the room, he knew she was there.
"Miss Granger, if you wish to torment me further, you might as well just kill me first."
"I don't know if it means anything now to you or not, but I'm in love with you."
She did not mean it. He was certain of that. There was the nagging voice that said she might be right, but he would not accept it. Not after what he'd been through.
"Spare the apologies. I know the truth already. You told me yourself. Don't try and fix this!" He'd moved right in front of her by the end.
"Severus Snape, it hurts me just as much as it hurts you. Why do you think I ran? When you responded, I knew what it had been all these years. I knew why I'd always had special treatment. It wasn't because of my achievements. You were manifesting your feelings in a different, less obvious way."
That was the wrong thing to say. He was ready to physically hurt her now, but he held it back. Severus Snape was not a violent man, and he would not be toward a woman no matter what her age.
"Leave, Miss Granger. Just get out while you can. I am not the kind of man you should want to be with, nor am I the one you should be with." He walked away from her while he said this. He needed to be away from her suddenly.
"Severus . . ."
"It's Professor Snape or Sir to you." He would not give in to her.
"Severus . . ."
"Hermione!" Now he was yelling if only to make his point. "If you do not leave, I will not be held responsible for my actions. You can say you love me, but I have no proof. It was a dare. You've completed it. Move on. If your goal was to break me, you have accomplished it. Get out of my life! I do not . . ."
She was kissing him again. His resolve held, firmer than ever even though she was crying. He could feel the tears. He pushed her back and she fell on the floor. She began crying harder.
Snape could only look at her for a moment. Finally, something clicked looking at her so sad. Did she really feel that much for him? Had he pushed away his only chance at a lasting, happy, and loving relationship. Merlin, he hoped not. What he felt toward her he knew would always be there. He would never feel that way about another woman, and the chances one would feel that way about him were small. He needed to fix this.
"Miss Granger," he began softly. "Hermione, please, I . . I'm so sorry." He had started to cry as well. "Merlin, I didn't mean to . . to . . . forgive me, please? I don't want to ruin my only chance, but you hurt me so much. I'm too stubborn, I know, but please?" By the end, he was kneeling in front of her as she sat, crying. Her tears were trailing off slowly. "I don't know what to do without you." And he didn't at that moment. She meant too much to him. It may have been a painful realization, but he knew it as true.
Hermione hugged him, and they sat, sobbing into each other's shoulder. "Severus, I should have just told you. I went about this the wrong way. I'm sorry."
"You're forgiven, but how you can ever forgive me . . ."
That was an easy one. "I love you. That's enough to forgive you. Promise me this will never happen again."
They looked each other in the eye. Snape wiped the stray tears from Hermione's cheek, kissed her forehead gently, and said, "As long as we're together, this will never happen again. Oh, Hermione, you're the only person I've ever loved. I love you so much. How you could ever love me, I don't know, but I will make sure that I'm the only one who will ever steal your heart."
"You're cute, sexy, really smart, and I love you. I'll make sure I'm the only one who possesses your heart."
They smiled at one another and engaged in a very passionate kiss. They heard the train whistle as they pulled apart.
"Hermione, I think you missed the your ride home."
"I am home."