"You four are all such Gryffindors'."
Draco's head snapped around to glare at Pansy. "What's that s'posed to mean?" he demanded. Pansy heaved a sigh and turned her eyes to the ceiling as she answered.
"Well, Gryffindor's are all overly affectionate. You and Harry are masters at that art. They're pretend to be brave no matter how weak we all know they really are. They can't survive on their own- I mean Ron can barely control himself without Hermione stepping in. Not to mention you're all complete suck up to the teachers. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Flitwick, Hagrid. And who's your favourite teacher Draco" Pansy said, with a brilliantly fake friendly tone. "Of course- Snape. Don't worry, we all know why you do it. How else would Weasel make prefect?"
"Pansy shut up before someone makes you shut up." Draco retorted. "You believe way too much of what your parents say." His tone was ice cold, as were his eyes, and Harry was jarred by the reminder of the old Draco, the one who had hated him so passionately- until a screaming match in the entrance hall had somehow ended up with them kissing. Neither remembered what had lead them to a kiss; neither cared.
"I believe what I see, everyday. Perhaps Harry helped you *come* to a different conclusion about Gryffindors." Stupidly, Pansy went on in a highly suggestive tone, even though Draco had leapt to his feet with a furious expression, "and I'm certain it wasn't without careful *anal*ysis."
"You little bitch," Draco hissed. Harry put his arm across Draco's chest to stop him. "At least I don't screw every boy who walks passed me."
"You don't? Oh, that's news to me." Pansy scoffed. "At least I can get some from the opposite sex, unlike you. That's got to be why you resorted to sleeping with the-boy-who-lived, right?"
"At least he stays the night, instead of just leaving a few Sickles on the pillow."
"How dare you?" Pansy shrieked. "You pig! You disgusting fag!"
"Really, name calling?" Hermione commented calmly. She sighed and shook her head. "How pathetic."
"And we're the weak ones?" Harry sneered. "With you Slytherins running of to join Voldemort because that's easier than fighting him."
Pansy glared at Harry, as she, Crabbe, Goyle, Draco and Ron all shuddered at the name Harry had spoken. "Ok, then. You're the bravest, right?" Pansy sneered. "You're the courageous one who dares speak the Dark Lords name?"
"That's right," Harry said stubbornly.
"So, if I dare you to do something, would you do it? No matter what?" Pansy said, watching Harry closely.
"A dare? Isn't that a bit childish?" Harry asked coldly. "Even for you?"
"Fuck you, Potter. Will you accept a dare?"
"Yes," Harry accepted, blinded by anger.
Draco spoke. "Harry, I don't know if that's such a good idea." Draco knew better than most, you should never trust a Slytherin.
"What can she do?" Harry retorted.
"Wait, I want to dare all four of you, not just Harry," Pansy said slyly.
Ron nodded. Hermione shrugged. Draco looked at Harry with concern.
"Knew you wouldn't be able to handle it, Malfoy. Too much Gryffindor in you now." Pansy said, either bravely or stupidly. As usual, all it took was one comment that went too far and Draco's terrible pride rose to meet the challenge.
"As long as we can dare you right back, Parkinson."
"Yeah, whatever. But you're doing yours first." Her eyes flicked back to Harry. Despite Draco's high opinion of himself, even he acknowledged it was Harry who was in charge.
Pansy contemplating several options. Finally, her face lit with a smirk that should have told the Quad to back out before it was too late.
"Ok, we both get a dare, you guys and us, ok? And whoever completes their dare the best gets Draco."
Harry snorted and stared at her, quite amused, while Draco looked offended.
"Gets Draco? He really is like a possession for you, isn't he?" Harry asked.
"Shut it, Potter. Do you accept or not?"
"Gets Draco?" Draco said, still barely comprehending. "Gets me?"
"Yes. You either stick with the Gryffindors or return to the Slytherins."
"How can we judge which dare is better?" Ron asked.
"Who ever causes the most trouble, with the fewest people getting caught."
"What's the dare?" Hermione interjected.
"I dare you- the four of you- to embarrass and humiliate as many teachers as possible." Hermione cast a disbelieving look around the room.
"You want us to embarrass teachers?" she said quickly.
"Same dare, right back at you, and we have a deal," Draco said in a businesslike voice, getting up from his chair, striding across to Pansy and holding out his hand. Pansy raised her ugly face and smirked, even her eyes were smirking.
"Deal," Pansy said, accepted his hand. As soon as Draco saw the blue light emanating from their hands he knew she'd worked some kind of tricky dark magic to cement the agreement. He, and Harry, Ron and Hermione were bound to complete there part. But so was Pansy.
Hermione decided to even the score with her own, more protective style of magic. Without even needing her wand she recited the spell quietly. Warmth tingled on their skin, and Draco and Pansy dropped their hands, and suddenly they were all doubled over, covering their mouths, moaning at the pain in their lips, including Hermione.
"What was that?" Ron managed to say, looking drained.
"You bitch! What have you done to me?" Pansy screeched. Hermione took her head out of her hands, and she too seemed weak.
"Nothing. I just made sure that none of us can talk about to anyone about the dares. Now you have no way to get us caught or ruin our dare to ensure that you win. I'm sure that's what you had in mind from the start."
Pansy wanted to protest, but Hermione was right. And she could see that it was impossible to back out now.
"We can discuss the dare with each other, but no one else. You won't be able to, even if you try. But don't try, because it won't be pretty. But I think, because you tried to trick us, you guys should complete your dare first."
"That's not fair!" Pansy protested.
"Don't worry, we're bound to do our dare after you, thanks to what I assume is some kind of contract-spell. And you don't have to worry, because we are such faithful, noble Gryffindors that we wouldn't dream of backing out."
Pansy resigned herself to coming up with something. Her quick mind had already turned over a few ideas and she confidently stated, "I've already got a great idea."
"Great wont do it, Pansy. It has to be the best," Draco said deviously, turning to walk back to Harry. Pansy's smirk faltered for a moment, before she recovered.
"Dumbledore will be back soon," Ron noted with relief, "let's try to pretend to be getting along."
They fell into an uneasy silence until Pansy got the courage to try to ease the awkwardness.
"Should we... talk about something?"
Hermione racked her brains for a subject they might agree upon. "Teachers?"
"What?"
"We could talk about teachers."
"Why?" Pansy asked, her voice torn between cruel and curious.
"Well we're students. I'm sure we have the same opinion on teachers. Maybe not Hagrid, but Trelawney and Binns and-." She couldn't think of any more that would cause an argument. Harry laughed.
"Hermione, I don't think that's such a good idea, I mean come on. We'll just end up fighting again."
"There's got to be something we agree on," Draco said, thinking deeply.
"Food?" Ron suggested tentatively. Everyone laughed.
"Well, I guess so, but there's only so much you can say about food!" Pansy smiled. If possible the sudden ease of the tension was actually more awkward than the awkwardness before.
"What if we liken certain people to certain foods? No, to certain animals!" Goyle suggested.
They all stared at him. It was weird, but it might be weird enough to keep feelings from getting hurt.
"Who?" Ron asked civilly, trying to reach agreement on the boundaries.
"Teachers, students, celebrities, parents-."
"Maybe not parents," Ron said, shooting a glance at Draco, remembering the way Draco used to tease him about his family.
"Yeah. So… someone start," Draco said eagerly, clearly not thinking of any ideas so far.
Silence. Until…
"Viktor Krum!" Ron almost shouted. "He's a- a gorilla!"
"Ron," Hermione tutted. "There was a time you thought the world of him."
"Yeah, until, I realised…" Ron dropped his voice, "that *you* are my world." Hermione blushed, everyone else tried not to gag.
"Trelawney would have to be a Praying Mantis," Pansy said, joining in enthusiastically. "Know we know why she's single- Female Praying Mantis' bite the heads of their mates after mating."
Everyone laughed at this bizarre mental image.
"Lockhart, remember him? He'd be a peacock," Harry said.
"What about Sirius Black?" Pansy asked.
"A big black dog," Harry announced without missing a beat. Hermione looked mildly worried, but Ron was grinning. Draco winked at Harry, who had spoken many times of his late Godfather.
"Lighten up, Hermione," Ron whispered to her. She relaxed and tried to smile, but it was a decided failure.
"Umbridge definitely had something toady about her, despite all the kittens," Ron said to change the subject
"I always thought she was a bit of a nanny goat myself," Pansy disagreed. "Hmmm... who else?"
"Knock, knock," said an aged voice through the door. They all looked around in confusion, suddenly realising where they were and why they were there. Hermione stood up, and sat down again, confused.
"How did we get along then?" Dumbledore asked, face alight with a grin.
"Uh... surprisingly, we're all still breathing," Draco said in a stunned tone that Dumbledore clearly found amusing.
Pansy nodded, agreeing to the mystification in Draco's voice.
"I thought you would." Dumbledore winked at them. "Alright, you're all still alive so I will keep my promise and, shall we say, set you free. On your way then."
Dumbledore clasped his hands together and disappeared, which served to quickly waking them all from their state of bemusement.
They rushed out of the room, and each group headed in opposite directions, keen to get some distance after the thoroughly perplexing morning.